u mite be from the south if...

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u mite be from the south if... - 5/29/2007 3:57:42 PM

zindyslave

Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

>Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
>
> There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in the South.
>
> There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in the south plus a
> couple no one's seen before.
>
> If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
>
> Onced and Twiced are words.
>
> It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
>
> People actually grow and eat okra.
>
> "Fixinto" is one word.
>
> There is no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then there is
> supper.
>
> Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when
> you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
>
> Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
>
> DJeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
>
> You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
> You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
>
> You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
>
> You measure distance in minutes.
>
> You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
>
> "Fix" is a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store."
>
> All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
> grain, insect or animal.
>
> You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
> unlocked.
>
> You know what a "DAWG" is.
>
> You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.
>
> There are only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
>
> The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but
> require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
>
> The first day of deer season is a national holiday.
>
> 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
>
> We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
>
> Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as"goin' Wal-martin" or
> off to "Wally World."
>
> A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.
>
> A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop . . . it's a Coke,
> regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
>
> Fried catfish is the other white meat.
>
> We don't need no stinking driver's ed . . . if our mama says we can drive,
> we can drive.
>
> If you understand these jokes please forward them to your friends from
> the South (and those who just wish they were).
>
> EVERYONE can't be a Southerner; it takes talent. You might say, it's an
> art form or a gift from God!

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RE: u mite be from the south if... - 5/30/2007 6:37:05 PM

TopinPa

Posts: 111
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

I'm a northern'r that lived and worked in the south a couple years ago
I can totally relate to all those and some you didn't mention

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RE: u mite be from the south if... - 5/30/2007 7:47:53 PM

zindyslave

Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
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lol, well some of those aren't true for where I live but, some I totally get...

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RE: u mite be from the south if... - 5/30/2007 7:55:41 PM

nyrisa

Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

I loved those. I am Southern, and proud of it. *L*
We were visiting up north once, and went to a standup comedy show. We are big fans of standup comedy, and try to go whenever possible. We found that we only understood about half of the jokes; they concerned stuff like parking on certain sides of the road on snow plow day, and the things people rush to stock up on before blizzards. I enjoyed the show, but I would have loved to have seen the audience trying to relate to a Southern comic, to see if they experienced as much culture confusion as we did.

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RE: u mite be from the south if... - 6/2/2007 6:14:13 AM

knight4king

Posts: 13
Joined: 2/23/2006
Status: offline

When I was young we were house hunting in Greenville SC. My mother siad if she was going to move the new house better be flawless. The real estate lady looked strange and said she didn't have any but a couple didn't have carpet....

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RE: u mite be from the south if... - 6/2/2007 7:47:45 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

I'm Guilty of a few of those myself.

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RE: u mite be from the south if... - 6/2/2007 11:28:48 AM

bliss1

Posts: 497
Joined: 3/14/2007
Status: offline

Having been to the south I can understand (not really relate ) to some of those.

Was honeymooning in Alabama once. We had stopped at a small country dinner. I had to get up and go into the bathroom least I often out customers after I heard the cutest two year old say "mammmmma" with a southern accent. Was the cutest but funniest thing I had ever heard.

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RE: u mite be from the south if... - 6/3/2007 6:55:48 AM

Saratov

Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
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Don't forget the 'self propelled speed bumps' armidillos.

Run over them wrong and the shell can ruin your tire, run over them any time and they can still rattle everything pretty good.

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RE: u mite be from the south if... - 6/3/2007 10:25:36 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
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I live in the south, Louisiana to be specific, and we are a culture like no other. Usually, shotguns outnumber people 6 to 1, directions to someone's house include turn off the paved road, dead armadillos in the middle of the road are considered possums on the half-shell, it's not a pothole unless you can lose a Volkswagon in it, and them skeeters are big enough to carry you into the woods to eat you later.

Being from Louisiana, if it walks, crawls, slithers, flies, or swims, it has it's own festival. Any combination of festival creatures will typically end up in a gumbo or jumbalaya.

There is nothing like Southern philosophy. My grandma once told me as I climbed her pecan tree and I quote, "If you fall out that tree and break your leg, don't come running to me!!!"

A Louisiana barometer is a simple tool: it is simply a rope on a piece of wood. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's dry, it's sunny. If it's stiff, it's frozen. If it moving, it's windy. If it's gone, it's a hurricane!

And the easiest way to tell if someone is from Louisiana is when they look at a rice field and they can tell you how much gravy it will take to cover it!

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