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ORIGINAL: Jahnaca

Greetings  Ygraine

I think the question posed is rather difficult to put into words and then again rather easy to understand once you strip things down.

To me, remember to me, my experiences found that once the protocols of window dressing is removed you have found the intent and principles behind the segregation found in the source material.  I have spent over 11 years on this journey of becoming Gorean, and in turn the many roles in my life have taken new meaning as I traveled.  I started out as a slave, thinking that was what women were meant to be.  I only found that it allowed one half of my existence a framework to grow in.  Certainly I discovered my sexuality, embraced it, even rejoiced in having it accepted as part of me.  Yet the limitations because of the protocols left part of me cold.  I often asked myself, “why in the name of a label must I dumb down who I am and what is real to appease someone who is obviously wrong or less.”  I felt the creation of illusions in the name of ritual false.

Then I found a man who did not demand my surrender to him as a slave even though this was not what I was looking for.  I found myself freed of the shackles of ritual in favor of a more holistic and natural existence.  I quickly found out, if what I am is real, no matter what name I attach to it, it will be self evident.  This allowed me the freedom to surrender to one man, the head of my home.  Yes, surrender to his will, very similar to that of a slave, yet, freed from the rituals surrounding that institution.  This means my surrender, my actions, thoughts and deeds are not based on what someone else defined for me from a book.  Rather it is a constant and fluid expression of what should be as I discovered and embraced each facet of femininity and put it into practice.

I have said this before, if I need a label on my forehead to tell me what to do, how to think and how to be, I have failed to learn from the hundreds of lessons I have had on my journey.  I often see people put more emphasis on labels and preconceived roles as a matter of law, when in fact that law does not exist.  We do, daily.  Ygraine you stated you miss that special feeling that surrendered offered you.  My question back to you is, why?  What magic is created in a label that you can not be and accepted by a man if that particular labels does not exist?  

I am often asked, and the OP asked it as well, what is a free woman, what is her place, her duty etc.  Often the same is asked of slaves.  The simple truth is, a woman will be everything the man in her life wants her to be, and that much more.  I won’t set the boundaries, nor do I accept the boundaries created by Norman.  I am because I stopped asking the wise man how to live, I just started living. I am mother, daughter, teacher, nurse, maid, slut, lover, companion and yes his slave (in a figurative sense) and so much more.  

The only limitations I have are based on my interactions within the Gorean community.  For here, the boundaries have been set up, and I have the choice to comply or not.  Here is where certain aspects of me get pushed back in favor of a more socially accepted “role” that my “label” entails.  For example, I do not flirt, or would I wear provocative clothing to a Gorean gathering, why, because that has been deemed to “slave like”, I would any place else that it is acceptable, like a bar.  (I still find this rather odd and silly but it is part of the social interaction so I go with it.)  

In fact I really hate to see the free women can and can not speeches based on a book.  The simple truth is, you can if you try.  I am striving and reaching out to be everything the man I call husband wants me to be and that much more.   I belong to him, he owns my heart, my trust, my body, my everything, not because of a collar or ring, but where it matters most, in my head and heart.  Thus I am a woman who has been freed.

So what is the imperative of a free woman, to me, just be a woman.

Jahna

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For example, I do not flirt, or would I wear provocative clothing to a Gorean gathering, why, because that has been deemed to “slave like”, I would any place else that it is acceptable, like a bar.  (I still find this rather odd and silly but it is part of the social interaction so I go with it.)