Thanks all for answering with your input. "sleeping around" was just an easy way for me to put it. It is poly. i could go further into detail, but i think it would be inappropriate here.
So its just the wiring? LOLOL i dont like that answer. That answer, i cant fully and completely understand. .... what kind of wiring... why does one have different wiring... hows it come to be... errr i suppose if you could go and explain, specifically, what you mean about "wiring"? Cos i can understand just being "male" or being a "dom" or being "poly" BUT wiring? Heck i know what it is. Wiring is a big word that encompasses alot of things, it hasnt really a specific. For me.
BUT i can use it in a sentence LOLOL "Mono people are wired different then Poly people"
So its a satisfaction thing? They arent satsified with only one partenr? i can understand being satsified.
Interesting? hmmm. The difference between sleeping with a man or a woman? Non really, but i've worked on convincing myself that a woman is okay. Though it will be no easy feat. Emotionally, it is a long history of the way i have been treated by guys. i usually have a 3 foot space issue and they better not touch me. Unless i know the guy really well, i hate to touch them or have them touch me. Yeah that means occasional elbows bumping or them sitting next to me is nt cool. Though luckily for me while being with Master, i've relaxed on it abit. It comes from losing my virginity to rape, around 8 rape attempt in my lifetime (mostly by people i knew), being sexually abused at 15, and then something else that happened at 18. AND then, on top of that, to be with another man is just so incredibly wrong to me. It goes againts everything i believe in and think. To me, its dead wrong. And its not a wrong, that i just "think" its one i feel, deep inside.
And Master once thought to have alittle get togeher, with a friend he trusted. Unfortunetly (and i do feel bad) i was incapable of doing so and ended up in the bathroom crying because i just couldnt. Oh and sleeping with another woman makes me nervous as heck too. (goes back to something at 15) But i content myself that if it were to ever happen, Master would be there right by my side and everything would be okay. As well, i am bi curious so i am interested in exploring it.
i am capable of everything. LOLOL Which is why i said "emotionally" i made the distinction. i have done alot of things in my life, with the attitude of just "doing it" no thought, no emotions, nothing, just doing it. i've always been able to shut down my emotions to get a task done. Unfortunetly even though i could physically do something, i wasnt emotionally capable of handling it. (they come back to bite me later)
But then again it goes against my sense of right and wrong. Which would probably make you wonder about how i am able to accept it with others. My right and wrong is only for me. It is my own code. Just because i feel something, doesnt make it so for others. It only makes it so for me.
Its about loyalty as well. i have a very very strong sense of loyalty. i am loyal to the bone and i will hang on being loyal come heaven or hell, until a person has been deemed undeserving. (and it takes ALOT to get to that point, when its alreayd been given)
Those are some of the many reasons why emotionally i am uncapable. And i suppose i do wonder why its not so for others, i mean, i'm not special, not on my own island. So why does it only hold true for me? Why does it only violate my morals, ethics, loyalty and sense of right?i'm sure it violates alot more, but LOLOL cant think of it right now.
i think this is a multi complex question with a very complex answer. As its not just simply one thing. Though i would like it to be = ) Heh, i'll just sum it ALL up in my mind with what babgirl said. = ) Its all about the emotional connectedness. Even though i know in most poly relationships its about being emotionall connected to all. (i'll ignore that fact and go back to the emotional connectedness, tyvm)