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First kiss - 9/8/2007 12:07:04 AM

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In romantic situations, as a femdom, what's your experience with the first kiss? Has it been initiated by you, or by the man? What feels more comfortable and how do you decide how you will handle it?

Akasha

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RE: First kiss - 9/8/2007 5:51:44 AM

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I love this topic. Kissing can flip me inside out in a matter of seconds and kissing is a sure fire way to get me hot and bothered.

For me, I am very controlling of kisses. I hate slobber, I hate overly wet, I hate hard and fast, I hate a tongue down my throat, I hate not to be in control of kisses. I love to bite during a kiss (lips and tongue), I love a kiss that lasts for minutes, I love passionate kisses, I love slow and deliberate kisses.

So...I always initiate, in particular, a first kiss; I always control the kisses. I make it very clear that if someone can't or won't kiss to my expectations he will have to move on. I've been this way as long as I can recall even in situations that didn't involve my being a dominant. If he can't learn to kiss me then I don't want him because kissing is soooo very important to me. It is one of those tactile things I can't live without and derive amazing pleasure from each and every time I engage in a kiss.

I have no problem directing someone the first couple of times while engaged in said kiss "put that tongue back in your mouth, if I want it, you'll know it" comes to mind as something I've said before. As does "learn not to slobber and we'll be fine"

Man, I'm a picky bitch *S*

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RE: First kiss - 9/8/2007 5:54:40 AM

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I take the first kiss and I kiss him like I own him....

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RE: First kiss - 9/8/2007 1:10:55 PM

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Being somewhat inexperienced in the bdsm scene, I'll refer to vanilla life. I'm old fashioned in the fact that I like the man to make the first move! If he's too shy and afraid of rejection to take the chance, to make that first move, then I probably wouldn't want to kiss him anyway. I don't think it's impolite for a man to try, as long as he has received a signal from the lady. But if he's just taking a shot in the dark he will get rejected. Usually I make it known in my eyes that I'm ready to be kissed.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: First kiss - 9/8/2007 2:17:52 PM

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Joined: 3/18/2007
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Personally I can go either way with a first kiss. I will correct the kiss until they do it right. Not too much mouth (my lips should not be inside yours hehe), not to wet, ect I want a good kiss.

Now I don’t mind being surprised by a kiss once I’m in a relationship, I don’t like that as a first kiss there should be some eye connect the longing should be there. But I’m a big romantic.

(in reply to HelenaTroy)

RE: First kiss - 9/8/2007 3:47:20 PM

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With most of the boys we've been with, the boy has asked/begged for the first kiss - which I definitely like. With the last one that didn't work out, I grabbed him and kissed him

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RE: First kiss - 9/8/2007 3:57:03 PM

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From: Austin, TX
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I think what is appropriate depends on the relationship dynamic--how formal/power-distant or not is it, and how much of a romantic component the dynamic has.

An explicit instruction not to initiate a kiss aside, I think it is fine and even healthy for a sub to initiate a kiss. It is possible to kiss without conveying dominance or aggression but instead interest.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to HelenaTroy)

RE: First kiss - 9/8/2007 3:59:58 PM

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

I love this topic. Kissing can flip me inside out in a matter of seconds and kissing is a sure fire way to get me hot and bothered.

For me, I am very controlling of kisses. I hate slobber, I hate overly wet, I hate hard and fast, I hate a tongue down my throat, I hate not to be in control of kisses. I love to bite during a kiss (lips and tongue), I love a kiss that lasts for minutes, I love passionate kisses, I love slow and deliberate kisses.

So...I always initiate, in particular, a first kiss; I always control the kisses. I make it very clear that if someone can't or won't kiss to my expectations he will have to move on. I've been this way as long as I can recall even in situations that didn't involve my being a dominant. If he can't learn to kiss me then I don't want him because kissing is soooo very important to me. It is one of those tactile things I can't live without and derive amazing pleasure from each and every time I engage in a kiss.

I have no problem directing someone the first couple of times while engaged in said kiss "put that tongue back in your mouth, if I want it, you'll know it" comes to mind as something I've said before. As does "learn not to slobber and we'll be fine"

Man, I'm a picky bitch *S*

What she said.

Every single bit of it is spot on.

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Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to earthycouple)

RE: First kiss - 9/12/2007 7:30:10 PM

luckyslaveboync

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lucky's Owner requires a kiss on the fingertips as greeting, including in public. In private She allows lucky to initiate a kiss on the foot but not on erogenous zones, including the mouth. That is for Madam's whim to initiate, though lucky my be near and hope or be expectant.

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

RE: First kiss - 9/12/2007 10:38:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I take the first kiss and I kiss him like I own him....

Exactly!!!!!!!!!!

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RE: First kiss - 9/12/2007 10:40:28 PM

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From: Nashville, TN
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My first kiss with Angel was initiated by me, after the deer finally walked away. The setting was so incredibly romantic and wonderful already, it just felt right. Granted, it was a very rough, no nonsense grab the back of the head and go for it kiss... but I knew that he reacted better to agression than he did soft timid touching. It worked out well :)

DV

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VampiresLair

(in reply to Cloudz)

RE: First kiss - 9/12/2007 11:04:36 PM

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Personally I enjoy building it..making him want that kiss so bad that I can see the "ache" in him... I will lean in yet not quite far enough ... He can feel my breath.. or I will whisper "no kiss for you..........yet" ... this can go on for quite sometime.. I enjoy his craving. Then when I do kiss him (usually when he has practically given up).. I take it.. he is Mine and with one kiss he knows it.

Mz Stormz

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

RE: First kiss - 9/13/2007 12:03:07 AM

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Joined: 2/15/2005
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I don't even let them touch Me first. One reason it's so much fun to tie them up.
slobbery, grabby, needing trained, wet spottin their pants males.
Lots of girls are just as much fun..
Its all in the anticipation.. that is where the FUN is.
Dominant space for Me is in their reactions to My moves.I know it's good when I can read them, and they still haven't a clue what just hit them.. but they want more.
The kiss?
I have never kissed My cub, and unless a situation arises where I might place a fond peck on his forehead, I am very pleased with the balance of power right where it is. To kiss him, even if he were to telegraph that wish, or even beg.. just doesn't sit right with Me - for him.

My devoted 'Doc V'.. that was the Kiss that changed both of us.
Out at the venue formerly known as the Wet Spot, he was so delightfully tied up.. I'd left nail marks on him, the music was boomin. had to quick release him just to go dance to the timewarp..Once I had him back in bondage.. his green eyes were all huge and dark as he looked up at Me.. so I slowly leaned in - the rest is Our history.
*Grin* I knew well before he did that there was no way he was going to leave My Dimension.
Honestly, I believe it is natural chemicals.
We click. holy crow do we click! *laughies* and he's worth sharing.. *purrs*

What was the question?
Always the best Diva~Zya

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(in reply to MzticStormz)

RE: First kiss - 9/13/2007 3:53:56 AM

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Joined: 5/31/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

An explicit instruction not to initiate a kiss aside, I think it is fine and even healthy for a sub to initiate a kiss. It is possible to kiss without conveying dominance or aggression but instead interest.

Cheers,

Sea

I agree.

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RE: First kiss - 9/13/2007 11:38:39 AM

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Joined: 8/19/2006
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Totally out of the blue (for me at least), Mistress said "Kiss Me!" at the end of our first lunch date, just after I'd helped her into her vehicle. It totally surprised me as I was being the perfect gentleman with no expectations of even a hug. All I can say is "WOW! That was one hell of a kiss!"

She occasionally tells me how she likes to remember the way that I moaned as she forcefully kissed me. My oh my, how I remember it too!

- pixel

Collared to Majik

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RE: First kiss - 9/13/2007 12:13:54 PM

TeeGO

Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

I love this topic. Kissing can flip me inside out in a matter of seconds and kissing is a sure fire way to get me hot and bothered.

For me, I am very controlling of kisses. I hate slobber, I hate overly wet, I hate hard and fast, I hate a tongue down my throat, I hate not to be in control of kisses. I love to bite during a kiss (lips and tongue), I love a kiss that lasts for minutes, I love passionate kisses, I love slow and deliberate kisses.

So...I always initiate, in particular, a first kiss; I always control the kisses. I make it very clear that if someone can't or won't kiss to my expectations he will have to move on. I've been this way as long as I can recall even in situations that didn't involve my being a dominant. If he can't learn to kiss me then I don't want him because kissing is soooo very important to me. It is one of those tactile things I can't live without and derive amazing pleasure from each and every time I engage in a kiss.

I have no problem directing someone the first couple of times while engaged in said kiss "put that tongue back in your mouth, if I want it, you'll know it" comes to mind as something I've said before. As does "learn not to slobber and we'll be fine"

Man, I'm a picky bitch *S*

...and a truly wonderful kisser you are.

(in reply to earthycouple)

RE: First kiss - 9/13/2007 12:53:54 PM

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Joined: 6/12/2007
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The fella always tries to kiss me first but I do not allow it. In fact, I kind of like to lure them into giving it a try so I can knock their feet out from under them. I tend to like strong subs and something about the first kiss being controlled by me and at my pace makes a big difference in getting us ff on the right foot. I know it is kind of mean but I can't help myself. So yeah, there is lots of puppy dog longing eyes and leaning in and all but I decide when and yes - it is very specific. I usually will grab their shirt and pull them to me - or stand if they are sitting and pull back their head by their hair, or I might tell them to kiss me.

A guy going in for a perfunctory peck, a dutiful act - that is just a complete turn off to me - all kisses should be hot and meaningful imo.

I have never told a man how much tongue etc to use. But I have nixed a man or gotten extra excited about one due to his kissing skills. And it is so disappointing to meet a great guy, you click, he be a good kisser but taste of cigarettes - and it is surprising how many men put on their profile or say that they do not smoke but in fact do!

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Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
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It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to TeeGO)

RE: First kiss - 9/13/2007 2:38:09 PM

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Joined: 6/21/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
In romantic situations, as a femdom, what's your experience with the first kiss? Has it been initiated by you, or by the man? What feels more comfortable and how do you decide how you will handle it?
Akasha

I've usually initiated the first kiss when out on a first date with someone, if I feel any chemistry... Note that is not the same as who usually approaches first. I usually notice someone because he sent a note (except in the case of a rare forum poster I might notice first, and send a note).
Sometimes the boy is on the shy/reserved side, so I ask if he'd like to kiss before kissing him. Other times, there simply is nothing chemistry-wise, and I go with cordial kiss on the cheek when parting. M

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(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: First kiss - 9/13/2007 3:55:09 PM

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The best memory and most recent memory deals with Fox so it's over 7 years old -- I'm such a monogamous poly person sometimes.

We had been talking about training and at one point he sort of looked differently at me and I asked him what he was thinking about. He said he wanted to kiss me. I told him to get on his knees and beg me. He did and I kissed him.

I had never done that before nor since with someone I was not yet formally training. We were seriously discussing it and negotiating but we weren't in that dynamic yet.

I think it foreshadowed how this all feels very natural to us.

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And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: First kiss - 9/14/2007 3:09:38 AM

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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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With my husband I initiated the first kiss, the first date, the first play time, the first sexual intimacy and every one of our dates for the first four months. In the past I didn't quit seeing a sub because they "made the first move" but it let me know that they weren't going to be long term. I wanted someone who was comfortable letting me lead. I expected to be head of my household and felt that those who couldn't let me take the lead in something as mundane as kissing wouldn't be comfortable "taking the back seat" long term.

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