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Karynn -> RE: Becoming a kajiru (9/9/2007 4:56:25 AM)
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Hello,
I'm going to take you literally and offer some thoughts. I'm awake, more coherant than the average morning and decided to take the challenge of your question.
First of all, I need to say this. I read your profile. You're twenty years old. You're just beginning a life with work, with direction, breaking away from the nest and figuring out you. Every person I know matures at a different speed. However, many males I know had to grow up in their twenties and maturity comes slowly with experience and adventure. There can be and are young men who are your age who have enough self-exploring done at twenty that they might have an idea how to approach the lifestyle of M/s, but that is rare in my experience.
I want you to know I'm not dissing you. I have told every male I've met under the age of 25 and every female I've met under the age of 21 that their exploration in life as a submissive or slave should come later, after a few years have been lived. So much of self-understanding comes from doing things, and often doing them the wrong way. At 20, you may have some idea what type of woman you enjoy being with, and you may even realize that you enjoy women who dominate. Unfortunately, there is a strong likelihood that you're looking for a dominant female so that you do not have to grow up yet. You have been with mum at home for 19 years, and now you're not, and you miss the person in your life who said, "Do this, do that." A dominant woman can fill those shoes. A dominant woman can have traits that are very maternal, and fill those needs of yours. If you also select a woman who's older than you, and please please do select a woman who is older than you if you actually make connections in the M/s lifestyle and/or Gor because they're mature enough to guide you. Someone in their teens and female, and espousing dominance is also just learning her own style, needs, and exploration.
Take time to do your homework. The lifestyle as a submissive or as a slave of Gor requires a great deal of focus. It requires a man of any age to really really understand their inner being. Culturally speaking, most countries to this day teach men an orientation of dominance through an ongoing patriarchal society. Men have been making laws, running finances, keep homes, keeping families, and so forth, for generations, and been the ones in charge. To submit, you're crossing cultural bounds on a whim. You're also going against what I would call natural order.
One of Gor's basic teachings has to do with the same concept that Charles Darwin presented to an unbelieving public some hundred years ago. Nature encourages the male gender of most species to dominate. When in nature, in the wild, nature has designed the male body to the best advantage for strength, power, and in that strength and power, they're able to protect what is theirs. In current culture, men are not called on to build igloos or thatch houses, to make sure meat is killed for winter, and to watch over their domicile in lieu of other males attacking to gain their prize of food, shelter, females, or goods. Those realities existed. Now men are in plastic cars going to plastic jobs working alongside plastic women buying things with plastic cards and overseeing a plastic family. That reality is pitiful to me, by the way, but it is what it is. To provide and protect in this day and age, a man does not necessarily have to have prowess, power and strength.
So back to your question. What does it take to be a kajirus? Some would say a lack of balls. Please pardon the crudity of that comment. If you're willing and eager to submit your power, your strength, your natural place in society to a female, then you're emasculating yourself, and will be shunned. There are many many Goreans who simply frown on males in the position of submitted/slave. The whole paragraph I just wrote about natural order explains why. Why would a man knowingly give up his position in nature?
Are you seriously ready for this challenge? It is an uphill steep incline to step, one step at a time. You must find a strong, genuine free woman of Gor who will take on your life, your training, and realize the whole time she's helping you find this kajirus in you, she too is now going against natural order. Were there male slaves on Gor? Yes, the books write of them. Some were thralls, some were kajirus, and they had a variety of purposes in the story. I would say that in the writing of the books, the author John Norman showed male slaves for the most part truly unhappy with their status as slave and those men constantly pushing against their bonds, fighting against their slavery, stretching to be freed, to be real men. Yes, there were a few random male silk slaves. These men were the ones mentioned who did just as you seem to be seeking to do. Their position in Gor was slave, and they liked it. They sought it.
You will find, depending on how aggressive you are with your search and profile, that you will receive many responses for many females of dominant nature. Many of the women who contact you will be like vultures, trying to glean as much from you as you earnestly give. Some will take advantage of your naivete. Avoid them if you can. If you read the word tribute or gift, that means the women involved are asking you for money. Those women do not seek slaves, but wallets with a penis. If you take time and do your homework, and you take any offer of a relationship at a reasonable rational pace, you will be less likely to fall into this category of sham or scam depending on how bold the female(s) are in each case.
Just because you're male and stronger doesn't mean you shouldn't follow safety elements on first meetings with anyone. Even if you were meeting Mother Theresa, you would be wise to set up a safe call, and meet in public. Those who are eager to be private or who push you to engage too much on the first date so to speak are people to be wary of here. Even the strongest man, once handcuffed to a St. Andrews' Cross, cannot always escape once he is in over his head.
Your own eagerness can also get you in over your head quickly. Gor is not about getting your jollies. Sex and kink are part of some private relationships, oh yes. However, it is not the beginning nor the end of what is a Gorean relationship. True M/s away from Gor is also about something far greater and deeper than just sexual gratification. Randomness of behavior can not only spread STDs but it can wear your spirit down and make you bitter or sullen at a young age. If something is too good to be true, don't do it. If someone sounds too good to be real, she probably is. Anything worth having is worth exploring slowly.
This is a serious world. The reason you have a tough time finding information about kajirus in Gor are because of what I explained a few paragraphs above this one. I do know that Luther is a regular participant on this forum at the moment and he also happens to be a man with many many learning essays. I will post several useful links for your perusal. Take the time to read. I'm not suggesting that you can learn what it takes to be a kajirus by the reading. Reading will give you insight, and the sites I'll mark will have some conversational information about kajirus of Gor.
K
Luther's Scrolls: http://www.geocities.com/delphius2002/id2.htm
Essay 19: Kajirus Basics - http://www.geocities.com/delphius2002/id48.htm
Library of Gorean Knowledge: http://www.goreanreference.50megs.com/index.html
A Gorean Mind: http://www.goreanmind.com/Reference/Main.html
A Gorean Mind: Kajirus - http://goreanmind.com/Reference/Men_Kajirus.html
I'm sure there are many others. Gorean Cave owned by Fogaban is a great site. The Central Fire offers so much information. Do your homework. Read. Study. And give yourself time to mature.
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