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Why are YOU here? - 9/11/2007 6:14:05 AM   
Karynn


Posts: 773
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline 		Good morning ya'll,

This morning I received a note that has me personally questioning my reason for being here or reasons as the case may be. I imagine there are so many reasons we join forums such as this. In my case, the underlying greatest reason is that my life is very very limited physically so I miss the community I once shared in public spaces. I replaced it with a community of thinkers that seem to make me feel a sense of belonging. Do I need acknowledgement from this community? I think I must sometimes. I'm not sure it is a wrong thing or a bad thing though I can understand how some might view it as a negative. Do YOU think that people who come to this community seeking a sense of validation, either a sense of "Yes, you're doing/thinking something about this lifestyle correctly." or "Yes, you fit into this lifestyle based on what you've shared." are people who are wrongly needy or perhaps on the forum for the wrong reasons? It is a point I'm truly trying to process.

I've seen Gorean men I really enjoy reading ask questions that show me they're truly seeking mentorship, a sense of someone else's affirmation of things they say or truly seeking answers for things they do not yet know for certain. I've seen Gorean females saying and sharing things for a variety of reasons. I'm sure that to some degree, it is a females' need to be reminded "Good girl." in some form or other. Can her words here earn some degree of that attagirl?

Where does such a thought or post cross the line? When does the participation on this board morph from a need for affirmation or a need to follow heart and share, or say/do the right thing, into a need for attention? Is the needs for affirmation and attention so foreign to Gor anyway? If everyone occupies their place in Gor and remembers their station so to speak, do they not all find some small bit of their life more complete because their needs are met simply by occupying that space?

How do you determine when someone's following the life and heart of this forum and thus some modicum of reflection of what this board is called "Gorean Lifestyle" and how do you determine when they're over the top and beating their own drum inappropriately?

From the heart of
K

_____________________________

In all things, to thine own self be true.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/11/2007 6:33:41 AM   
jaxnsax


Posts: 106
Status: offline
Good morning Karynn
So often I look at your words and feel a deep sadness in my soul L
“seeking attention”, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. Most people, no matter what they are doing or saying, are in some small way, are seeking attention.
I think the line becomes blurred when the attention becomes more important than the words or actions that are being spoken or performed. You know, the ole, ‘hey look what I am doing” or “hey, I just said this, pay attention”
Personally, I truly believe that no matter what a person says or does, or their reasons for saying or doing such; I believe that there is still something there that can be learned from. That is what I look for when I read words on a forum, or observe others and how they interact.
I read and participate in forums mainly because I know that I can learn a lot from the words of others. Some small idea or opinion that challenges my own. I have often found that most who participate in forums for the long haul, are intelligent, vibrant individuals who have something of importance to say, whether I agree with it or not.
Yes, there are those whose need for constant attention comes across loud and clear; but even I can admit to having that complex from time to time. J For some, it is nothing more than a ‘me, me, me” syndrome; for others, it is just a need to be heard at that time.
Either way, it has always been my belief that everyone deserves a chance to speak and be heard; no matter what venue they choose to express that.
I hope this day finds you in good humor and health
jaxon

_____________________________

A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.
~Chinese Proverb~

(in reply to Karynn)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/11/2007 12:36:01 PM   
glassdoll


Posts: 131
Joined: 4/24/2005
Status: offline 		you seem so sweet and nice! how on earth did you get into this lifestyle?

(in reply to Karynn)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/11/2007 2:41:34 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4212
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline 		hiya glassdoll,

There's sayings round here about how soft, sweet, gentle women often seek brutish, brash, hard men. 

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to glassdoll)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/11/2007 3:31:57 PM   
Karynn


Posts: 773
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline 		Ermm Stephan,

You've got me pegged.

K

glassdoll, I cannot imagine not being in this lifestyle. Your implication that sweet and nice females would not survive well or fit into this lifestyle makes me smile. You cannot know till you live it, and I live it. I love it. I cannot imagine it not being so.

K

_____________________________

In all things, to thine own self be true.

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/11/2007 3:32:45 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 6908
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings, Stephan.

And some of the brutish, brash, hard men are actually rather nice, once you get used to them.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/11/2007 5:05:16 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		Good afternoon Karyn (i'm keepin' an "n" so you can have a "z")  *grinz*

I have alot of people ask my this very question.  Most know that i am not a Gorean's slave........i have no intention of ever becoming one, yet........the small interraction i have had with a few Goreans offline when i lived up in Michigan and a few online for the last 9 years or so has caused me to just........ask!  i never really ever just asked before.   I never took the time to find out how it is y'all live.   I just accept you at face value and figure if it's my business to know........i will be told.

Nowwwwww.......that being said.......and being ever so curious, and no longer geting the interraction with the people i once did.......i kinda look at it this way.......if i don't ask, i won't know............i can be a real pain in the ass that way, and i'm ok with that.  *chucklez*    Ohhhhhhhhh yeah..........and!  there are some really awesome people here that i enjoy speaking with.

Oh! and here's a thought to what Stephann (Hey! can i have an "n" from you too? *laughs*)   There are some women that are not soft, sweet or gentle......yet find that the only way we can truly live is under the hand of brutish, brash, hard Men.
Mmmm Hmmmmmm.............whew!

From the thoughts of.....

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to Karynn)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/11/2007 7:16:54 PM   
Maahsatti


Posts: 2579
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		Hi there Aswad,

I feel brutal, brash, and hard men tend to be men who do not play games and fool around with silly nonsense and are the more truthful of men, whether that truth hurts or not....I likes that in a fellow...*winks*

I wish you well,
Babs

_____________________________

Gorean women, whether slave or Free,know, that their simple presence, brings joy to men,and I cannot think but that this pleases them.
Outlaw of Gor, pg 54

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/12/2007 4:48:30 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 3930
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings Mistress

i have an interest in BDSM, in D/s and in consensual slavery. i wanted to join a forum about that, and i found this forum online and i joined it. It is one of many forums i am on, i am on to many and spend to much time online. But there is enough interesting talks here to keep me on Collarme. That is why i am here.

May i wish you well


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to Karynn)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/13/2007 5:22:41 AM   
AlwaysLisa


Posts: 1072
Joined: 10/6/2006
From: Washington State
Status: offline 		Morning Karynn,

Entertainment value.  I don't come here as often as in the past, time just doesn't allow it, however, when I do manage to read, it is sort of like a soap opera.  The same actors, reading from the same scripts, performing the same scenes.  

Having read several forums and message boards over the years, it is similiar everywhere throughout the net.   Periodically though, you can find words that aren't self rightous, indulging or down right rude.   I have had my eyes opened on more then one occassion by something written by another, that's when I feel the time spent here worthwhile.  

I feel that we never cease to learn, no matter how old.  If we gain a bit more knowledge about ourself, even if that knowledge came from a message forum at the hands of a person we have never met, it's all good  :)

Lisa

< Message edited by AlwaysLisa -- 9/13/2007 5:28:51 AM >

_____________________________

"Harry Potter is all about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight, is all about how important it is to have a boyfriend"
--- Stephen King

(in reply to Karynn)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/14/2007 8:22:16 PM   
Nyxmyst


Posts: 58
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		Why do I come to this board? Entertainment, really. From the first day that they decided to open up the Gorean side so we'd be less trouble (or less harassed?) there's been a soap opera like atmosphere. It's wonderful to read when there's nothing on TV.

I will admit it used to upset me. After all this time, however, I've learned to see the humor in the situation.

Nyxmyst

(in reply to Karynn)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/14/2007 9:08:23 PM   
aeleberaNB


Posts: 690
Joined: 6/4/2007
From: Alberta, Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		Greetings Karynn:

***smiles***

i come here to learn, to share experiences, get advice when having a bad day.. i have found the slaves thread to be very helpful in that respect and the Free that have responded to my queries are very helpful.

i have a great respect for the Free here as they tell it how it is and don't sugar coat things which to me is the best way to tell it.  a lot of people i have interacted with both on and off line are that way as well, but i have found that coming here i can learn more about Gor and have questions answered that i have after reading the books or after having gone through older posts.

your posts always leave me wanting to learn more and have been helpful in helping me overcome my shyness i had when i first started out here. they have also helped me to deal with the varying emotions i have had as of late.

wishing you well,
aelebera{NB}


_____________________________

He is the Master, i am His slave, His property, His muse to do with as He pleases, when and where He pleases. Trust in thy Master as HE knows what is best for His property.

(in reply to Nyxmyst)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/14/2007 11:31:58 PM   
akbarbarian


Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline 		I came here first to see how people do Gor in real time.  I've seen eye to eye with the books for quite a number of years, but hadn't really had a good opportunity to live it out.  I used to call the alternative "Vanilla BDSM", and I had profiles like CDTOfGor though by now I don't even remember where.  Since getting here I haven't gotten a warm welcome, more like pitchforks.  I have been contacted privately by a fair handful of kindly Gorean types to see that the alternative exists.  In addition to enjoying the books, noticing an odd Gor role play phenomonon, and observing that Gorean slaves tended to be very friendly, well mannered, and easy to get along with, I had no sense of what to expect from the forum here.  I have come to realize that for some, this is still all they have.  Absolutes are easy to have when you don't see the person 7 days a week, and it's online obedience we're talking about.  This sounds more like a diary entry.

Why am I here?  I suppose at this point to do my best to understand the way Goreans relate to each other and live their lives, so I know what to expect when meeting them in person.  Of course, considering "Vanilla BDSM" folks are vastly different in person than on collarme boards, that fairly well voids that angle.

Why, still, am I here?  I suppose it's because there are still gems here, even in the rough.  I also don't have to read posts about the difference between a sub and a slave, or posts that talk about well...I guess what this means is despite the problems I have with some posts I've encountered, I do share some common beliefs with these people and that alone is a refreshing thing.

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to aeleberaNB)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/17/2007 6:23:51 PM   
amiciaN


Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings Karynn--

I lurk here mostly and I have thought about this question for almost a week now.  Why am I here (on the Gorean forums)?  My Master NChaka is not Gorean and never will be (no disrespect intended to those who are Gorean; it is simply not His path), and it is my wish to remain in His collar until my dying breath.  So, what am I doing here?

The answer is actually quite simple-- brain food.  Though I do read things that I don't personally agree with, even those things have benefit in that they make me question what I do believe.  One thing most all Goreans seem to agree on is that no one, slave or Free, should be a sheep, blindly following modern society's dictates.  (The slave following the dictates of the one that owns them is another matter.) That is a core belief  I share with those Goreans and what I read here often makes me question those things one takes for granted.  I will share one recent example.

The topic of 'is slavery the natural universal state of women' is one that has been discussed a great deal recently in multiple threads.  Many times the argument for this includes stating that men and women are not the same; men and women are not equal.  What this discussion has made clear to me is that much of the contention seems to lie in the misconception that being equal means being the same.  Sorry, but that is utter nonsense.  A pound of butter and a pound of feathers have little in common outside of both coming from 'animals'; they are not the same at all.  Yet if one puts them on the scale, the scale will declare them equal.  On Gor (in my admittedly limited understanding of it), the Warrior Caste would certainly have a high social standing, but if a Warrior commits a crime against a Peasant, the Peasant still has the right to seek redress under the law.  The Warrior and the Peasant are not the same.  The Peasant most likely could not pick up a sword and successfully defend his own Homestone against the steel of the Warrior, but he is equally entitled to the protections of the law.  Not the same, but equal.  That is how I view genders.  They are not the same.  (And personally, I think that is cause for celebration!!)  Norman made 95% of Gorean Women Free.  In the Caste of Physicians, he recognized that men and women are different in requiring female Physicians to have two children first, but he acknowledged outright that they can possess equal skill at their profession.  I could be mistaken, but I believe it is also said that a Free Woman or Free Companion had equal access to redress under the law.  As women in modern society, I do not want woman to be the same as men, but I firmly believe women have every right to claim the same equality within our society that I see that Norman gave Free Women on Gor; the right to reach as high as we able professionally and the right of equality before the law. 

Anyway, now that I have rambled on, it is for the discussions like that one, the ones that make me think, the ones that challenge my beliefs and make me come up with an answer beyond 'because I was taught it was so'-- that is why I am here and for these things I offer my thanks to the Gorean forum.  And yes, I think I will keep lurking here.


_____________________________

NChaka's amicia

I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.

(in reply to Karynn)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/19/2007 1:50:35 PM   
Totalmaster4you


Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Tal to the Free and property
Greetings Karynn,
I came to the Gorean boards because of the intelligence of most of the posters, because of the way the kajirae handled themselves, to find others that believe in the same things I do and to see if I could find fellowship in r/t. I've enjoyed my time here so much that I rarely visits the other boards anymore.
I wish you well,
TM4Y

_____________________________

Sometime ago I decided it was time to change my nic. However I didn't wish to disconnect from my original profile. Since then I've signed Touch your mind (TYM or Tym). Opinions in my posts should be taken as my opinion and my opinion only.

(in reply to Karynn)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/19/2007 3:09:29 PM   
xBullx


Posts: 3962
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		Tal Goreans,

Hmmmmm, Well let's see............It all started in Nineteen Eighty-Two, somewhere between here and there I made a right turn. My quest has been comprised of this trial and that, in addiition to countless now recognized triumphs and rewards. All the while pressing forward through this endless maze we come to identify as human existance. Has anone seen that fuckin'rio of nocturnal canine block of cheese?

Ohhh, and currently am navagating the road to Shambala, in the company of a mysterious trio of nocturnal canine. Please send Cheetos!!!!!!!!!!  The crunchy ones, I don't like the poofy kind..........

Live well,


Bull

< Message edited by xBullx -- 9/19/2007 3:28:02 PM >

_____________________________

Live well,

Bull



I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

(in reply to Karynn)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/19/2007 4:00:24 PM   
Totalmaster4you


Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Tal Bull,
Would you stop taking everything so seriously.lol
TM4Y

_____________________________

Sometime ago I decided it was time to change my nic. However I didn't wish to disconnect from my original profile. Since then I've signed Touch your mind (TYM or Tym). Opinions in my posts should be taken as my opinion and my opinion only.

(in reply to xBullx)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/19/2007 4:22:46 PM   
georgejames68


Posts: 72
Joined: 1/28/2006
Status: offline 		Because it feels right and answers a feeling and a need I felt for years. Always thought I was a bit weird until I finally bumped into this site and got the feeling I'd come home. Love the dialogs. Love the way the women on here can express their feelings about submission even though they would be ostracised if they were to say those things in a public forum. Love the way a man can "tell it like it is" for him, again getting ostracised, (or sued), if he mumbled such an outrage in front of a feminist.

Do hate it though when it degenerates into a pissing contest, or "it's my way or no way", or "I know more than you do....I got XX years experience, so I'm the expert". It's really sad when I see how easily things get misunderstood resulting in a brawl of sorts.

But, sure have learned a lot in the past few years of being here and still enjoy it! George 

(in reply to Karynn)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/19/2007 7:19:42 PM   
Karynn


Posts: 773
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline 		Hi ya'll,

It's really great to hear different responses, even Bull's request for cheetos. All we eat here are the spicy ones. If'n ya eat those too, come by and have a snack. We even have a pair of Yorkie pups that'd count as canine's yes?

K

_____________________________

In all things, to thine own self be true.

(in reply to georgejames68)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Why are YOU here? - 9/20/2007 5:02:15 AM   
ElizabethAnne


Posts: 1711
Status: offline 		Howdy Karyn,

Yorkie pups?  Seems to me, I recall Bull having a pair of Yorkie pups once, or should I say Natalie surprised him with a pair.

~laughs and laughs~

Liz

(in reply to Karynn)
Profile   Post #: 20
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