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iammachine -> RE: The best way to catch Her eye? (10/8/2007 1:10:31 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Politesub53
Kye use the forum more, its suprising how many messages i get about something i have posted.
Forum posting definitely results in lots of perving, that's for sure. In my experience, somewhat higher quality and more [intellectually at least] compatible perving, too!
As for how to catch someone's eye... I've always found a spoon to be useful... errr... nevermind that. [:D]
Basically, talking to your friend should be useful. Listen to all of those things that drive her batshit, and quite simply, don't do them. That is a HUGE bonus, trust me. Someone can write to me, and it really isn't all that spectacular, but it doesn't make me want to destroy inanimate objects either, so it's a success!
Things not to do (incomplete list):
One liners
Laundry list of kinks
Form letters
Generic, impersonal statements ("I liked what you had to say" without qualifying statements commenting on what they said that you liked, for example)
Being too forward (asking for or providing personal info in the first few messages, trying to negotiate a scene or dynamic prior to her expressing an interest in such)
Focusing on kink, on activities, toys or fetishes, as opposed to her as a person
DO NOT share photos of anatomy unless requested
So anyway, by at least not doing the above, you have a pretty good start.
Good things to do:
Read her profile, completely
Make specific comments about things she's said to start conversation
Be polite (duh)
Have a well written profile of your own that shows what makes you you and therefore unique, and what makes you interesting to know.
Show your positive traits without boasting. Basically, show, you shouldn't need to tell.
Have a clear vanilla (or at least not x rated) photo including your face available
In theory, you have kink in common, and maybe even some kinks in common or else a) you wouldn't be here and b) you probably wouldn't be talking. You should, however, hopefully have more in common than only kink. I can't stress this enough. Kinky people are still people. Having an interest, and actually making an effort to get to know someone as a person is so incredibly valuable. If I can't have an average, oridinary, run of the mill coffee-house-safe conversation with someone, I have no interest in talking kink with 'em. On the other hand, if I can, though I really dislike cyber-wanking, I'm perfectly happy talking abot some pretty hot topics (as cooly as possible, of course [;)]).
IMO, YMMV and all that.
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