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y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry (mis... - 10/9/2007 2:44:34 PM

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Is it too hard or too much effort for someone to respond with a simple ( i am not intrested ) or ( not compatible [master/mistress] ) is life to much for them to do that take 5 to 30 seconds from their lives to be courteous? I am offended at the pure arrougance that people have on this server this is a lifestyle not a playground, common courtesy should be here above all other places. Any comments?

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RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 2:47:13 PM

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Yes and no. If someone sends me an email, I almost always answer them; however, that can lead to more and more emails when my answer was "thanks, but no thanks". Also, some of the emails I get don't deserve answers!

(in reply to horune1)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 3:34:54 PM

stef

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It's no more arrogant than holding people to an expectation they never agreed to then whining about it in the forums to complete strangers. That's not the behavior of a gentleman or a"dominate," it's just plain sad.

Here's a free clue for you, sometimes no response *is* a response. Mull that over for a while and wonder why it is that people might not feel the need or desire to reply to your email.

~stef

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(in reply to horune1)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 3:36:42 PM

Lumus

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[hijack]

Love yer quoteable quote, stef.

[/hijack]

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(in reply to stef)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 3:38:44 PM

trappedinamuseum

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Its like job interviews...they weed people out, and if you don't get a call, they don't want you. If someone doesn't reply, it means they aren't interested. Suck it up, grow a thicker skin, and find someone else.

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RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 3:41:31 PM

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Honestly given your profile and post here, I may not reply to an email from you. Yes, many people do look for postings...just a thought.
l

(in reply to trappedinamuseum)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 6:15:28 PM

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From: Pennsylvania
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Yes, I have a comment. Replying "no thanks" will often be all the other person needs to start whining. I find that unattractive and needy. I've been on the receiving end of "just meet me for coffee" "why aren't you interested?" "what should I do differently?" argh. Best to ignore if not interested. I hate seeing someone who claims to be a dominant beg.

No response = no interest

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(in reply to horune1)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 6:43:44 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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there's no standard rule here which states people are forcefully obligated to respond back to you

welcome to the internet

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(in reply to horune1)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 6:48:18 PM

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Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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I don't bother to reply ifpeople contact me who're clearly not what I have asked for, like someone from newyork, asking if I'd be their mistress for instance. Or if they're married and cheating.

people doing this "lifestyle" don't make them any more curtious, than other people, nor are people who're kinky automatically due respect simply cause their in the "lifestyle". That's a notion you'd be best to forget, you'll subject yourself to less heartburn that way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: horune1

Is it too hard or too much effort for someone to respond with a simple ( i am not intrested ) or ( not compatible [master/mistress] ) is life to much for them to do that take 5 to 30 seconds from their lives to be courteous? I am offended at the pure arrougance that people have on this server this is a lifestyle not a playground, common courtesy should be here above all other places. Any comments?

(in reply to horune1)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 6:55:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: horune1

is life to much for them to do that take 5 to 30 seconds from their lives to be courteous?

Well, how about if you multiply those 30 seconds out by, say, 100(which is a large under-estimate of how many emails I received in my first week on collarme asking me questions which were already answered in my profile).

Now you're talking 3000 seconds. Rounded, let's just call it an even hour. One hour out of an entire lifetime. That doesn't seem like that much time, but when you're at the end of your life, are you going to begrudge the hour you spent sending out 'no thanks' to 100 strangers on the Internet instead of spending it saying I love you to the one person who may really count in your life?

Yeah, 30 seconds is way too much of my time to give to someone else because they're not compatible with me. That's 30 seconds taken from my 'life', which is an unknown and finite quantity of time that I don't want to give up so some stranger can feel better about being told 'no thanks,' on the Internet. I think it's pretty rude to ask a stranger to 'give' something so precious to you as their time. You can replace damn near anything in your life except for the time you're given on this Earth.

Celeste

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RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 7:02:29 PM

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Joined: 8/20/2007
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No, it's not too hard but when you write back very nicely to tell them you're not interested, then they get all offended and insult you or tell you that you haven't given them a chance. I gave one person a response telling him that he was too far away for me to consider and he called me a racist.

(in reply to horune1)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 7:26:32 PM

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From: U.S.A.-Minnesota
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Emails from people who don't fit into the categories I have set in my Mail Controls are routed to my Bulk Mail folder. It may be months before I get to them. By then, many of those accounts no longer exist, or are inactive, or have no profile.
I agree with what has been said before. Often a polite "No, but thank you" is taken as an invitation to some to keep emailing. Where's the courtesy in that?
Another point,... I'm not looking for a verb -- ("Dominate") -- Lord.
I'm looking for The Noun.

(in reply to horune1)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 7:32:54 PM

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From: U.S.A.-Minnesota
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I've responded with a ".... not compatible. Best wishes..." and have then gotten a "WHY ??? Prove it!" reply.

(in reply to horune1)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 7:37:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: horune1

Is it too hard or too much effort for someone to respond with a simple ( i am not intrested ) or ( not compatible [master/mistress] ) is life to much for them to do that take 5 to 30 seconds from their lives to be courteous? I am offended at the pure arrougance that people have on this server this is a lifestyle not a playground, common courtesy should be here above all other places. Any comments?

Hmmmmm...let me see, I've gotten several messages from people who are totally incompatable with what I'm seeking. Yes I politely replied saying Thanks but No Thanks. Problem is they don't bother reading my reply.
Solution> I don't worry about it. So don't get your undies in a knot because you don't get a response to your messages. 'Nuff said.

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(in reply to horune1)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 7:48:12 PM

MistressHolly71

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Joined: 7/4/2007
From: Southern Maryland
Status: offline

Is it too hard or too much effort for people to read profiles? Based on the emails I get, I have to say yes. If someone has obviously not read my profile or ignored what I said, then I don't waste my time replying to them. If their profile has bad spelling & grammar like yours does, I just ignore them.

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(in reply to willowspirit)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/9/2007 9:00:33 PM

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Joined: 1/25/2006
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quote:

is life to much for them to do that take 5 to 30 seconds from their lives to be courteous?

Is it too much to take 3 minutes to read a profile? Is it too much to take a few seconds to minutes to write more than one line? It is too much to ask to be treated with respect, and not simply a slab of meat to cater to fetishes?

If it is too much to show me initial courtesy, why should I be obligated to justify someone's lack of courtesy with my own?

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(in reply to horune1)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/10/2007 4:33:31 AM

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Joined: 12/8/2006
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I used to answer everybody who cmailed me. But what are you supposed to say to "hi" and nothing else? Mass cmails, pasted cmails, mail from Those who have *maybe* glanced at your age and location only?

There are too many Doms here who take _any_ reply as encouragement. It's wearying, and partly the reason I'm no longer looking for "Him" here.
~pmg

(in reply to MistressHolly71)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/10/2007 4:48:19 AM

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Joined: 7/30/2007
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I generally try to reply if i think that the person has bothered to send me an individual mail. Usually my reply is 'i am involved with somebody and not looking, thank you'. I am always surprised (no idea why) at the number of Doms that pretend to be interested in friendship only and then try to dominate you!! That is really annoying! If someone sends me a one word message, then i do ignore, because what are you meant to say to Hi, except Hello - where is that going to get you. And if someone cannot string a sentence together then i doubt that would be someone i want to talk to - ever!!

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(in reply to pearlmoongirl)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/14/2007 2:17:47 AM

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Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

I agree that there's no obligation to reply to a message on here. Still, I think that there should be a distinction between messages received. A one-line one, a one-word one, a message that doesn't show they haven't even read your profile, a rude one shouldn't fall in the same category with a well-written message that shows that they have read your profile, possibly your posts, and that they have put some effort and some of theirselves in it. It should be different under a personal point of view (non-obligatory, but still appreciated, courtesy?), and from a "policy" point of view (creating an environment where people who send messages read your profile and send well-thought messages). Otherwise the risk is to favour one-line messages and rely on bulk. Besides, if no reply to a well-thought and written message is received, the sender might wonder whether you have really received his/her message, notwithstandng the collarme feature, and send it again.
On the other hand, if you send a personal message where you show you've taken time to read their profile and to write something meaningful, and you get no reply, you're not compatible anyway, as you're not in the same sensitivity range.
I understand that Dominant can be flooded by messages. But I have a question. Once you weed out the one-line ones, the messages that shows that they have not read your profile, the rude ones, do you still have so many? Actually, I have two questions. If you complain about being flooded by messages from rude, fake, superficial submissives, don't you think that discriminating would help in improving the quality of this community? The problem is, in my opinion,that you're applying to everyone the standards you apply to the lazy and to the fake. It's what might be called, ironically enough in this case, a "race to the bottom" ...

< Message edited by pageturned -- 10/14/2007 2:27:32 AM >

(in reply to Babybass)

RE: y no Courtesy to at least answer with " sorry ... - 10/14/2007 5:22:19 AM

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Joined: 11/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: horune1

Is it too hard or too much effort for someone to respond with a simple ( i am not intrested ) or ( not compatible [master/mistress] ) is life to much for them to do that take 5 to 30 seconds from their lives to be courteous? I am offended at the pure arrougance that people have on this server this is a lifestyle not a playground, common courtesy should be here above all other places. Any comments?

I’m not interested in answering this thread as it raises no new issues relating to electronic communication in the modern era. Quite frankly I find it a waste of my time and it shouldn’t have even been listed as a subject. This subject has distracted me from all the genuine subjects that are seeking answers out there.

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(in reply to horune1)

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