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Guidance needed please? - 10/11/2007 11:38:25 AM

cuffnspankme

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I need some help here, both from the Dom/mes and subs.
In the last two days I have been presented with the opportunity to take a friend of mine as a sub to myself. He is totally new to submitting. I planted the idea in his head when we met. Not to be sub but about the lifestyle. I rarely hide this side of me from partners or new friends that are vanilla. He wasn't into it and that was fine, we still had fun. The man can make me squirt. *sigh* About a year ago we were playing around and I turned him onto the pleasures of anal stimulation during a blow job. He loved it, wanted more. I am guessing that may have really triggered his thoughts of submission. He says hes looked at and read things on the net and wants to try this with me. We are set to meet at a hotel tomorrow night and he has asked me to bring a toy to use on him. I am so very excited, I already have him not cumming until I say he can tomorrow night.

As of right now he does not have access to the internet so I can't have him research things. So I guess I am looking for some good book titles that I can have him buy to read. I am also looking for help in negotiation. The last time I topped someone he was my Dom and we just swapped roles. He says he is open to anything but being leashed and being peed on. I know that he does not realize the enormity of all this lifestyle is and I have tried to get him to understand that in our talks via text message. He keeps asking what I want him to do and what rules are, etc... I tell him he will find out friday night. I have a few rules in mind. I think that starting small and slow here is the thing to do. Sort of ease him in. He wants to jump in with both feet though. Thoughts? Opinions? Lay em on me. I am somewhat nervous about me doing something wrong here and totally screwing things up.

Thank you for your help in advance.

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RE: Guidance needed please? - 10/11/2007 12:39:27 PM

mnottertail

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Well, what are you looking at? wanna grease him up the little whore? go to greenerypress.com and get some titles there, otherwise, go see MasterFireMaam and get her book for him, it's pretty good. Amazon has books on domestic service and the japanese tea ceremony----(the art is to make something difficult look elegant thru practice and attention) you should have him study the book, tell you what he got out of it, and let him know that he will be performing a tea ceremony for you and your friends, and if he don't cut the fuckin' mustard, it is gonna go in his ass as a lube for the monster strap on.......

That should hold him for a little while. Set the date and explain the parameters (make it like a month or so)...........tell him he has to create everything,(so like when he doesn't ask you for who you want to invite, you will do it..and make the tick)

His suit and tie and shoes are not immaculate? tick
He is not effusively accomodating and polite? tick

and so on

Ron

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 10/11/2007 12:40:21 PM >

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RE: Guidance needed please? - 10/11/2007 12:47:43 PM

Rule

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Why - for what reson - do you suppose that he is submissive? Cannot he be an ordinary human who is either interested in kink or simply wants to fuck you?

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RE: Guidance needed please? - 10/11/2007 12:51:24 PM

quietdoveTX

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i am new to the lifestyle(sub) , if anyone has any advise i would love to hear it like how to choose the right Dom any advice would be very helpful thanks quietdoveTX

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RE: Guidance needed please? - 10/11/2007 1:54:00 PM

cuffnspankme

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

Why - for what reson - do you suppose that he is submissive? Cannot he be an ordinary human who is either interested in kink or simply wants to fuck you?

He has stated that he wants to submit to me. I would never just assume that he wants to submit to me. Never assume anything is my motto, just gets you in trouble. Oh and he is the one that wants to be fucked. Not that I don't, but there you have it.

*must be nice so as not to get moderated*

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RE: Guidance needed please? - 10/11/2007 1:55:50 PM

cuffnspankme

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Well, what are you looking at? wanna grease him up the little whore? go to greenerypress.com and get some titles there, otherwise, go see MasterFireMaam and get her book for him, it's pretty good. Amazon has books on domestic service and the japanese tea ceremony----(the art is to make something difficult look elegant thru practice and attention) you should have him study the book, tell you what he got out of it, and let him know that he will be performing a tea ceremony for you and your friends, and if he don't cut the fuckin' mustard, it is gonna go in his ass as a lube for the monster strap on.......

That should hold him for a little while. Set the date and explain the parameters (make it like a month or so)...........tell him he has to create everything,(so like when he doesn't ask you for who you want to invite, you will do it..and make the tick)

His suit and tie and shoes are not immaculate? tick
He is not effusively accomodating and polite? tick

and so on

Ron

Oh I think I love you Ron. I may need to add you to my crush list over in the Aaaarrggghhhh thread. Thank you for your good advice and making me laugh at the same time. You gave me some food for thought.

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RE: Guidance needed please? - 10/11/2007 2:21:54 PM

mnottertail

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Ja, well, I ain't your average motherfucker.

Ron

everybody says it ain't about the sex right? well then that shouldn't be his first dip in the pool, let him know what he is in for and that it ain't no day at the fuckin' beach.

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 10/11/2007 2:23:08 PM >

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RE: Guidance needed please? - 10/11/2007 2:25:05 PM

cuffnspankme

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No you aren't, I realized that long long ago...

Oh he will realize that it won't be a walk at the park. Heh, I need the sex and the feeling that controlling a man like that gives me. He will be begging me like a lil bitch to cum before I let him. I am evil and sadistic and he will just have to deal with it. He may even hurt a little in other ways before the night is over.

< Message edited by cuffnspankme -- 10/11/2007 2:27:55 PM >

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I do not know why it is, but the condition of slavery makes a woman very beautiful. It removes inhibitions to the manifestation of her femininity and her deepest needs.

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RE: Guidance needed please? - 10/11/2007 5:41:11 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Well you've thoroughly impressed me by knowing that you need to make him slow down and realize what he's getting into. But I'm wondering how far those words will actually translate into actions.

If you want to form a relationship together, then do it normally, just with kink learning added in.

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RE: Guidance needed please? - 10/11/2007 6:09:54 PM

MasterFireMaam

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A thought: a man liking anal sex doesn't mean he's submissive (or gay). It means he likes anal sex. Some men have a problem admitting they like it and so they go into the area of submission because being told they 'have to take it' gives them permission to have it and like it. Not totally related to what your post was about, but it popped into my mind.

Master Fire

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