Thank you for your comments. I agree that there must be a very strong commitment before either the Dominant can request or order the submissive to shave her head or that she agrees to submits to being shaved.
Susan did say she felt like a part of her was destroyed or at least left behind. Her whole conversation about self-esteem and femininity was altered. In fact, her identity was altered. But at the same time, she assured me, that she blossomed as a submissive <snip> now she was confident, self assured, very comfortable sexually, and loving. She was no longer the cute coed I dated in college but a beautiful and sexy woman who happened to be a slave.
That which does not kill you makes you stronger.
I do believe that losing part of yourself, coming through it, and seeing first hand that those close to you love you regardless has to positively affect on your self-esteem. That is why, when given the option with the right person at the right time, I would also agree to being shaved bald. Your description of the changes above reinforce that decision.
There definitely would have to be a deep relationship between Dominant and submissive. Much like in your anecdote, My Summer Vacation, which I enjoyed reading.
That is a very new relationship, and no matter how giddy I am with Lawrence at the moment, it's not at a "shave me bald" level. Yet.
Trust is built in small steps and risks that begin in a limited range then expand. At least for me. Letting a man cut off my clothes and restrain me for impact play in a public play space felt like a very, very low risk situation to me.
Now, when he pulled the motorcycle behind an adandoned warehouse at 1am the following evening and told me wanted to tie me to the bike.... I had to think very hard about where my level of trust was. I believe my intial response was, "well, if you are looking for a place to hide the body, this would work nicely".
But: I had verified his ID and left that information with a good friend who expected to hear from me he next day - or he'd call the cops AND Lawrence had just taken me to the local bar where he's a regular and introduced me to his friends. I thought he'd have to be nuts to snuff me under the circumstances... but I did think about it before saying yes.
< Message edited by baileythorne -- 7/21/2004 7:38:11 PM >
Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.