RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one sub/slave

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RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 11/20/2007 4:44:57 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9788
Joined: 9/8/2007
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Just remember

LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE

You deserve to be happy with someone who values you.

I will pray for your strength. All you need is right inside you.

lips

(in reply to Maestro66babycak)

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Post #: 81

RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 11/20/2007 7:35:30 AM

Maestro66babycak

Posts: 396
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Just remember

LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE

You deserve to be happy with someone who values you.

I will pray for your strength. All you need is right inside you.

lips

Thank you dear lady, I can use all the prayers I get! Your encouragement means a lot to me. God Bless You!

_____________________________

I live between the Rock and the Hard Place.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

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Post #: 82

RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 11/20/2007 7:44:07 AM

Maestro66babycak

Posts: 396
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

Thanks for the offer but, if true, he strikes me as an utter arsehole, so I’ll pass, thanks all the same.

You sound like you’ve calmed down a bit now though, which is good news, if less entertaining than your caps ranting.

I do apologize for that. I shouldn't have lost my temper. I have been so very stressed over this matter that I put my anger in front and pushed my good manners aside. You are correct I have calmed down quite a lot. The anger and bitter feelings are still there but I am dealing with it better now.

_____________________________

I live between the Rock and the Hard Place.

(in reply to RapierFugue)

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Post #: 83

RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 11/20/2007 7:49:17 AM

Maestro66babycak

Posts: 396
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cheeky1

Wow... emotions are running high here. A venting post with lots of emotion, somehow gets misconstrued as beating up someone jerry springer style! I can feel you are venting, babycak and with so much emotion, it's simply showing as violence when it's just confused and crazed venting. I've been there... ok.. a few times.. *laff*

babycak? Your dom is really not worth it. As scary as it is, get your inner power and strength back and find someone worthy of you. Either talk to or write off the woman that's treating a relationship as "prize" or notches in her bedpost. She's not worth your angst. She really isn't!.

Take back your power... and you'll be fine.. and so much the wiser. =)

~ cheeky
p.s. by the way.. i love the way lips put it.. very nice post. =)

Thank you cheeky1 I appreciate your understanding and (dare I say) defence. I am slowly cooling down about the situation now . Thank you for helping me to do that. I needed to 'hear' the things you said.

_____________________________

I live between the Rock and the Hard Place.

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Post #: 84

RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 11/20/2007 10:30:16 AM

sammy7626

Posts: 89
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

In the meantime call your phone company and report her telephone harassment, speak to your lawyer, get the police to serve her with an order of protection to stop the phone calls. And be celibate for six months, with std scans on both ends of the time period. And if he/she have given you one, give their names to the Board of Health, call your lawyer and sue them.

Is it a knee-jerk reaction in the US to reach for one’s lawyer for every eventuality? I don't even *have* a lawyer, and have never needed one.

You can sue people for giving you an STD? How extraordinary. Aren’t you also liable for blame by not having taken precautions?

I confess I’m fascinated. Do please explain.

Are you kidding. You can sue for anything in this country. And yeah, I'd venture to guess half the population probably keep lawyers on retainer for just that kind of eventuality.

I do know that if person A has an STD, and fails to tell B, has sex with B and then B winds up with said STD and can prove that A knew they had it before having sex with B... (convoluted no?) than A is criminally and civilly responsible. (If you have HIV/Aids for example....then A could be charged with attempted manslaughter/homicide etc for basically effecting the early death of B via disease...)

(in reply to RapierFugue)

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Post #: 85

RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 11/20/2007 10:31:55 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9788
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Just remember

LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE

You deserve to be happy with someone who values you.

I will pray for your strength. All you need is right inside you.

lips

Thank you dear lady, I can use all the prayers I get! Your encouragement means a lot to me. God Bless You!

Have a blessed Thanksgiving. remember to count your blessings. Your children, your friends and all the support you really do have in people who care about you.

(in reply to Maestro66babycak)

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Post #: 86

RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 11/21/2007 3:01:01 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sammy7626

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

In the meantime call your phone company and report her telephone harassment, speak to your lawyer, get the police to serve her with an order of protection to stop the phone calls. And be celibate for six months, with std scans on both ends of the time period. And if he/she have given you one, give their names to the Board of Health, call your lawyer and sue them.

Is it a knee-jerk reaction in the US to reach for one’s lawyer for every eventuality? I don't even *have* a lawyer, and have never needed one.

You can sue people for giving you an STD? How extraordinary. Aren’t you also liable for blame by not having taken precautions?

I confess I’m fascinated. Do please explain.

Are you kidding. You can sue for anything in this country. And yeah, I'd venture to guess half the population probably keep lawyers on retainer for just that kind of eventuality.

I do know that if person A has an STD, and fails to tell B, has sex with B and then B winds up with said STD and can prove that A knew they had it before having sex with B... (convoluted no?) than A is criminally and civilly responsible. (If you have HIV/Aids for example....then A could be charged with attempted manslaughter/homicide etc for basically effecting the early death of B via disease...)

Ye gods, that’s unreal. Whatever happened to personal responsibility? In the UK I believe there’s a rule for HIV/AIDS, as failing to inform the person you’re with that you have HIV or AIDS constitutes attempted serious assault (and even then I think the prosecution have to prove you behaved recklessly (like it was with multiple partners or on multiple occasions), or some such, but for all STDs? That’s just crazy. If either a man or woman take the risk of having unprotected sex that’s their call. I’ve done it before myself, and for sure I’d have been cheesed off if I later got something and found out my partner knew, but it would be *my* error.

For what it’s worth the UK is going more towards the US legal system every day, and it really annoys me. There are some great things about America, but the legal system isn’t one of them. For some years now the number of “ambulance chasers” has been increasing, and one group of solicitors (I don’t know what you know but the UK legal system is divided into legal case preparation staff, called solicitors, and courtroom advocates, called barristers) has been advertising for some years on TV with the slogan “where there’s a blame there’s a claim”, which beggars belief. Obviously, where’s there’s wilful negligence then companies and individuals should be held to account, but it’s got beyond a joke. The only saving grace here is that judges set compensation amounts, not juries as in the US, so you don’t tend to get ludicrous “£10,000,000” payouts over nothing, but even so it’s not good, and it’s going in the wrong direction, every day.

What’s that line from Henry VI? “First we kill all the lawyers”.

(in reply to sammy7626)

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Post #: 87

RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 11/25/2007 4:00:56 PM

moonslave

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

you are sooo right! as a slave it is not my place to even expect my opinion of His actions or desires to matter except to be what he expects me to be. i would never expect to be asked if i wanted another slave in the house or what i thought of her, it would only be my responsibility to accept her and get along with her because that would be what He expected. What He does with me is up to Him..what He wants in His house is up to him.

(in reply to downkitty)

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Post #: 88

RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 11/25/2007 8:36:09 PM

Maestro66babycak

Posts: 396
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quote:

ORIGINAL: moonslave

you are sooo right! as a slave it is not my place to even expect my opinion of His actions or desires to matter except to be what he expects me to be. i would never expect to be asked if i wanted another slave in the house or what i thought of her, it would only be my responsibility to accept her and get along with her because that would be what He expected. What He does with me is up to Him..what He wants in His house is up to him.

I am not a slave and never agreed to be in a poly house. He never once told me that was his goal. Even now he denies that he wants poly when his profile clearly states that he does. I hope that you are happy as a slave, I could never be.

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I live between the Rock and the Hard Place.

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RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 11/27/2007 3:27:17 PM

kinkypuppy2

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
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In theory they are correct the slave maynot have that right of choice, However the word "courtesy" comes to mind and the slave in question will be a part of this poly family therefor their input should be considered on any choice

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See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to UsemeinTexas)

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Post #: 90

RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 12/17/2007 10:30:02 AM

whipingherfeet

Posts: 202
Joined: 10/26/2006
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you should be happy girl your geting a slave sister bow and lay kisses on your master feet and thank him girl

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Post #: 91

RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 12/17/2007 10:31:19 AM

whipingherfeet

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what a lucky master to have you

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RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 12/19/2007 5:02:44 PM

mytruth2u

Posts: 12
Joined: 9/16/2007
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Wow this thread was just like a soap opera. i had to kept flipping the page to see what was next hehe I'm sorry to laugh at something that is obviously causing you much pain but you have to admit this thread is rife with drama and intrigue.

Personally i am glad that you got to the point that you understand that you have to leave. i stayed in a relationship way to long because i had already put in so much effort and i didn’t want all that effort to go to waste. What i didn’t realize was that i was just wasting more time being miserable and trying to force something that was never going to work. You know when it’s not going to work no matter how much you want it to; you can only lie to yourself for so long.

Fighting for him means a relationship, someone to love and care for you no matter what the rest of the drama. The alternative is being alone, having to start the search again, and mostly just being alone. So the first looks better, safer and more comfortable in the moment, but in the long run you know it will not work. So eventually you will still be alone, you will still have to continue the search and all you got for staying is prolonged pain. The Dom the deserves your obvious loyalty could be searching for you right now. How rude of you to keep him waiting? Good luck with everything :-)

I also wondering after all this is any one else having the biggest craving for cookies? ;)

(in reply to whipingherfeet)

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Post #: 93

RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 12/19/2007 6:15:56 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 16506
Joined: 11/26/2007
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I've read this thread - there were of course inconsistencies but that is how memories work, particularly when emotions are running high. I always look at the boards as unimportant whether this particular situation is true or not - it is true somewhere.

But the important thing is that communication and trust have broken down... Love is a strong magnet and can make us do things we never thought we would... sigh... a little gentleness is good, a little blunt logic is good. Well, may you find peace, baby cat... and all the others involved in this drama.

Who said, what would you tell your friend? That is always good advice. And try to be gentle with yourself. Just remember that you have to look at you in the mirror every day. Good luck.

peace

_____________________________

¿me preguntas por que compro arroz y flores? compro arroz para vivir y flores para tener algo por lo que vivir.
~Confucio

Yes, I am a wonton hussy.

Head Hib Harem Hottie

(in reply to mytruth2u)

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RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 12/24/2007 4:17:16 PM

masterofu1957

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Joined: 12/22/2007
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already have told my sub /slave and we r ready for another sub/slave to enter into r relationship. my question is. where and how does one find a sub/slave to cum be in r lives? seems to me there r so many game players. its so hard to find a real sub/slave to even see if we might be interested in.If u could email me and give me some advice it would be great

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RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 12/24/2007 5:31:46 PM

MasterDoug48

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/28/2007
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Ok lets face most Dom's/Domme's think that, they are very much a law unto themselves. The fact is they are NOT, every sub I do not care who they are, or they belong to. Have every right to tell a Dom/Domme, what they consider is wrong. I would never personally want to run a stable, but there are so many Dom's/Domme's that look at the amount of subs they have, as bloody status symbols thinking they have as much time as every sub needs, well thats bull there are too many subs out there that have been hurt, because of this way of thinking so before any sub agrees to belong to a Dom/Domme, take time and read this and tell them how you want it to be first, that way the Dom/Domme know where they stand and let them walk away.

< Message edited by MasterDoug48 -- 12/24/2007 5:34:13 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 12/25/2007 1:50:54 AM

MasterSelf

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Joined: 12/21/2007
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I am new, however in My understanding, and after taking in various opinions of different Masters and Doms, I believe if there are degrees in separation between Tops to Doms, and Doms to Masters, then why are all the lines being blurred? Does not each classification have its own protocols?

Why are her issues not that of a submissive? A slave has nothing to say about anything. Whether it is right or wrong is not open for debate or discussion. I'm sure M/most could agree that yes it would be courteous if the Master would inform and/or get the slaves concerns on the issue, but in the true context of this committment to "voluntary" servitude, in the realm of a Master/slave relationship, is it not axiomatic that after being collared a slave has no say in anything?

Is it not true that a sub "can" and even a "bottom?" But NOT a "slave?" Seems to me like she should have committed to a sub relationship and not as slave. Now on the flip side of that, under contractual agreement, then that's another matter.

[ . . . ironic isn't it? ]

What I also find interesting to observe is how "Masters" communicate against other "Masters" with subs and slaves. Most curious. Why is that tolerated? Doesn't seem like true "Masters" would do that. Nor condone bad mouthing of Masters and Doms by subs and slaves, at least not to them anyway. I'm just trying to understand and learn.

Anybody?

_____________________________

The words "I am" are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. ~A.L. Kitselman

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RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 12/26/2007 10:38:27 AM

ClassicV

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/1/2004
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This life, as with vanilla, takes all sorts, however, to expect a slave to be content with sharing when s/he come into the relationship expecting to be the only one, is unlikely. For me, I openly declare that I want 2, and could not have any relationship that is built on false expectations. I left a 25 year marriage to pursue this lifestyle, as I simply couldn't have a relationship that wasn't open and honest. I simply do not accept that a slave has NO needs, and an unhappy or discontent slave is not something that I would want, despite her being my property. Even pets get settled, and can despise interlopers, not matter how much their owners want them to get along.

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RE: Starting a Poly household when there is already one... - 12/26/2007 8:09:07 PM

Surrenderwithin

Posts: 368
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"Isn't it disrespectful and just plain WRONG for a Master to consider adding another slave to the relationship without the prior knowledge and agreement of his original ( first) slave?
I was talking with that kind of Master. He is interviewing many slaves to add to his household without the consent and agreement of his current slave.
She has no say in the matter what-so-ever. He seems to not care whether or not she even wants to be in a poly household."

I suppose that would depend on thier negotiations, As a slave did she consent to his rule with no holds barred? It would depend on the relationship between the Master and the first slave.

In my life I am a slave. Master has brought another girl in whom I was opposed to. He heard me out, respected my opinion, then made his own choice. As a slave, when I agreed to be his slave I submitted to his will. Now, I knew this man and I knew him well. I knew his morals, his ethics, his limits, his beliefs and I knew that they umbrella-ed me. I know he will always have my best interest in heart and I trust him to protect me and place my needs above his own wants. I know that he will push me and challenge me and force me to find an inner strength that I can be proud of. I am strong and I can cope with things I never thought I could..... As a slave, according to our original negotiations and our definition, gives him that right.

Not everyone, as a slave, will have the same agreement and thus the way things work should be hinged upon that.
Maggi

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