RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for money

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RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/6/2007 5:57:01 PM

Posts: 2479
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Why do innocent little um's get cancer and die in horrible pain, while evil, tyrannical dictators are still alive? Is it about what they deserve? Nope. Natural selection is a mother, in all possible metaphorical senses.

Aw, i left my "Starvin' Ethernopian" analogy unrepeated before to keep things light and airy, and here you go dumping cancer and dead babies on me?

Way to harsh the mellow.

Speaking of repeating, i think that with the numerous complaints about both provider costs and quality control, this is a fine time to bring up the old Managed Dominance proposal (not my work):
http://domsubfriends.com/voye/articles/93/

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/6/2007 6:39:58 PM

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Thie bigger question is- why do you guys pay for it in the first place?

Hi Ma`am, here are a dozen reasons.

1) To experience bdsm to see if its for you
2) To experience a specific fetish
3) To play without getting emotionally involved
4) To play as your partner isnt into the lifestyle
5) To give someone else control as stress relief
6) To meet someone who has the right equipment and experience

Well okay thats only six of the best but i tried :)

I knew this.. I just wanted those that lament about paying to think it through :)
Guys.. if you dont want to pay.. don't go to a "pro". But darn.. kwitcherbellyachin"!

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Politesub53)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/6/2007 7:19:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressPav

Here's an interesting experiment:
Collect all the profile pictures of pro-dommes. (not just face shots....full body shots)
Then collect all the pictures of non pro-dommes. (not just face shots....full body shots)
Look at the pictures. Compare them.
What differences do you see?
********************************************************************************************

You KNOW you are a loser when:
1. You are dumped by your Real Estate Agent
2. A Pro-Domme won't take you or your money.

Gulp... are you saying I can't look as good as a pro-domme? I am shattered.

(in reply to MistressPav)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/6/2007 11:33:42 PM

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline

Hey Folks,

This is the good old USA. It's the law of supply and demand. Some are fortunate enough to supply something and enjoy it as much as the buyer. There's not one single thing wrong with that.
imho

need

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/6/2007 11:36:34 PM

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Don't be LadyLegs. You look just fine to me!!

Completely agreed needDomme.

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(in reply to needDomme)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/7/2007 2:13:22 AM

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressPav
Here's an interesting experiment:
Collect all the profile pictures of pro-dommes. (not just face shots....full body shots)
Then collect all the pictures of non pro-dommes. (not just face shots....full body shots)
Look at the pictures. Compare them.
What differences do you see?

I'm not going to collect pictures, but I'll assume you have collected enough to compare and contrast, and maybe you'd be gracious enoug to tell us and explain the point you're trying to make, because I don't get it.

M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to MistressPav)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/7/2007 4:32:32 AM

Posts: 99
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline

Short answer: I don't and wouldn't.

First, because to me, selling something that is so much a part of my nature is like, well, hocking an arm or leg. Not only does it allow the sub a certain amount of control (he's paying in a society that links money with control---more specifically in a society in when men have traditionally held the purse strings), but it puts a part of me up for sale. And frankly, I don't want invest a big part of myself into someone I don't fundamentally respect, care for and want to spend time with---at which point I wouldn't want someone I respect, care for and want to spend time with to ever have the suspicion I was doing it for money. But that part is is just my own personal issue.

Where I see a bigger problem, is that I've know too many subbies who've gone pro....and ended up feeling cheap afterwards. In my experience, proDomming doesn't work for guys who are "submissive", because what they seek actually entails a level of trust and commitment that isn't possible within a pro Domme relationship. Let's face it, as mentioned a proDomme can just decide not to take the check.....or when things get too intense he can just not pay anymore. Which, for a bunch of the guys I know, lead to frustration and a feeling that BDSM is somehow dirty and unfulfilling. Of course, its neither.

So while, I have no problem with people making a buck.....but there are other options out there, even though a number of the sub guys I know ended up feeling it is the ONLY option.

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/7/2007 6:16:33 AM

Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline

Well, for the same reason I play music. I love it, it enthralls me and stimulates me, mentally and emotionally; it heals me and elates me.

And realizing there are people who obtain great pleasure from being a part of it, I let them in for a reasonable price. I would keep doing what I do even if it was a continuous drain on my account, but if the option is there to support myself doing it as well, I won't pass it up.
Also, almost all the money is cycled back into the activity, making it better for both of us :)

_____________________________

"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/7/2007 7:46:16 AM

submissivegrant

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

I just wanted to emphasize another point as it has not been given much focus.

How can anyone fault a Domme for deciding to charge? As subs we see them and expect them to be equipped with leathers, floggers, straps, bondage tools etc. etc. etc. The fact is, nobody is giving these things away and high quality leather doesn't come cheap. We also want them to have a fetish wardrobe complete with shoes and boots that are also expensive. Some Dommes don't choose to get all geared up but none the less, us subs aren't the ones providing the Dommes with all of these things. A one item gift is helpful but they likely need more tools to fulfill our elaborate fantasies.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that many Dommes have already paid a lot of money to benefit us. To give them a hard time for trying to recoup some of their costs is unreasonable and dumb.

I am aware that the recent explosion of money Dommes confuses matters some but my comment is about the Dommes who are truly interested in BDSM. Of course, its fairly easy to tell the difference anyway.

(in reply to MissOchistic)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/7/2007 9:05:56 AM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Well, obviously everyone has a different opinion on this...

I just feel as though money cheapens the whole thing and has attracted people to this that otherwise would have nothing to do with it.

Almost like paying someone to be your best friend.

Well prositution itself isnt illegal, at least here in the UK. Since it`s more of a moral issue, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Personally i dont see being a Pro Domme as prostitution, no more than i see being a stripper or a lap dancer as prostitution. Sure all three are something that is sexually exciting, but its still not sex.

What about if a guy wants to try BDSM, and visit someone who has all the equipment, and more importantly the knowledge of how to use it. Is this really so wrong. What about the women who just want a submissive to be a glorified servant, without having to give much input into the relationship ? The ones who lead guys on with the promise of a session once x y or z is finished, but the day never arrives ? At least with a Pro Domme everyone knows where they stand. What about the married guy who wants to experience BDSM yet not actually be submissive, or have to leave his wife ?

It may not be for you, but for some people it serves a valuable outlet.

*blowing a kyss your way!

You rock polite sub, no doubt.

Irish

(in reply to Politesub53)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/7/2007 9:18:09 AM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJeelys

Short answer: I don't and wouldn't.

First, because to me, selling something that is so much a part of my nature is like, well, hocking an arm or leg. Not only does it allow the sub a certain amount of control (he's paying in a society that links money with control---more specifically in a society in when men have traditionally held the purse strings), but it puts a part of me up for sale. And frankly, I don't want invest a big part of myself into someone I don't fundamentally respect, care for and want to spend time with---at which point I wouldn't want someone I respect, care for and want to spend time with to ever have the suspicion I was doing it for money. But that part is is just my own personal issue.

Where I see a bigger problem, is that I've know too many subbies who've gone pro....and ended up feeling cheap afterwards. In my experience, proDomming doesn't work for guys who are "submissive", because what they seek actually entails a level of trust and commitment that isn't possible within a pro Domme relationship. Let's face it, as mentioned a proDomme can just decide not to take the check.....or when things get too intense he can just not pay anymore. Which, for a bunch of the guys I know, lead to frustration and a feeling that BDSM is somehow dirty and unfulfilling. Of course, its neither.

So while, I have no problem with people making a buck.....but there are other options out there, even though a number of the sub guys I know ended up feeling it is the ONLY option.

Why make the assumption these subs who pay would be guys you wouldn't fundamentally respect or want to spend time with? Many pros end up being good friends with their paying subs. I know one sub who loves to contribute to his domme and gives her $300 a mo. He serves her every week and they are good friends. She gives him what he could find no where else: A loyal and caring domme. They have been close for 6 years.

And...making a sub pay for what he gets puts power in the hands of the Her, the pro-domme. She calls him and says: Show up at 1 pm Fri. He's all excited an trusts her to have something fun and exciting with him in mind. He has a commitment to her and she has one towards him. I have subs personally who serve only me. One of them I have known for 25 years!
I know several others who have been loyal and faithful to their pro-domme for many years and seek to serve her well and not any other domme.

Irish

< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 12/7/2007 9:29:50 AM >

(in reply to LadyJeelys)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/7/2007 8:04:10 PM

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Joined: 12/14/2005
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A lot of cross topics going there. My inclusion of you in the melee was more dicta and OT.

The best thing about this thread was looking into the meaning of the "JUST WORLD" THEORY.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/8/2007 11:26:43 AM

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

You are the first Dominant (pro) who just answers this questions truthfully for this curious newbie. How people are so quick with being judgemental, and all the rest of it amazing. By the looks of it, he is just new to this site,...

And how does one know which topic has been talked about before or not.

Amazing that this question has already 7 pages responds though...
talking about a subject which has been spoken about before *EG*

Have a good one,
warm greetingz

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

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~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to MistressUltimate)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 7/19/2008 11:06:03 AM

Posts: 100
Status: offline

Dommes, like everyone else, have to eat. I suppose most of us would like to earn our hard-earned doing something we love, rather than doing something we hate.

So if the question is, if the opportuinty arises to make your living doing something you like, why not take advantage of it?

If a domme paid me to be submissive, within reason, I suppose I would jump at the opportunity. Though I don't suppose many such opportunities actually arise.

< Message edited by rookey -- 7/19/2008 11:13:02 AM >

(in reply to wankerforuse)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 7/19/2008 11:57:39 AM

Posts: 100
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

What is giving all dommes a bad rep is the sudden influx of so-called "money dommes" who have little to no interest in bdsm and are simply looking for free and easy money. So it starts to look like all dommes only care about money.

As for the artist, actor, athlete, painter analogy... I dont buy it. That's a talent or a skill. Plus an actor doesn't go to a theater and say "pay me if you want to talk to me." They get thrown out the door. An artist doesn't say, "pay me before you can look at my artwork." An athlete doesnt go to a professional team and tell the coach to "pay me and I'll show you what I can do."

They would if they had the right reputation. No one questions how good Al Pacino, Picasso, Mark Twain et al are.

(in reply to cyberdude611)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 7/19/2008 3:55:58 PM

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Joined: 6/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

Do you ask the same question of professional sportsmen? Writers? Actors? Musicians? Politicians?

perfectly said

(in reply to beeble)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 7/20/2008 9:36:12 PM

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http://onedarkmistress.blogspot.com/2008/06/get-what-you-pay-for.html

< Message edited by Coupleofwhats -- 7/20/2008 9:39:13 PM >

(in reply to seababy)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 8/26/2008 6:19:51 PM

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Joined: 12/2/2007
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quote:

That is why we are as solid as we are...we both want the same thing. Plus, She has never uttered a single word about tribute, money, or anything financial. So, if there are guys out there looking for a domme that doesn't expect money or tribute, they are out there...albeit, far and few between. Not all are looking to get paid, but quite a lot are, though. Just keep looking...you'll find a great domme.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

Women by the core of our fiber like to be validated with gifts and special acts or tokens

(in reply to rubberpet)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 8/26/2008 6:27:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wankerforuse

and not for the love of it? As in my mind a proper domme does it for the love of it as it is in her blood something that is natural to her being dominant that is,cause it's in her genes her genetic makeup.A lady who does if for money is nothing more than an oscar nominated actress in my opinion,and not a dominant lady at all.She's just a money making machine.

It's relatively easy money, and it would make her far more money than some desk job would, so Why not? Its not something I would ever seek out, but If she can make money from it, more power to her. If a woman offered you money to sub, I don't think you'd complain.

< Message edited by rick19 -- 8/26/2008 6:31:25 PM >

(in reply to wankerforuse)

RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 8/26/2008 6:32:14 PM

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Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
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Hey, my TTRPG sourcebooks ain't gonna pay for themselves, y'know.

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Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to rick19)

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