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Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life?


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Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/9/2007 7:35:23 PM   
Xtasesdoublepac


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		Hello everyone,
I've been trying to find out about this lifestyle for the longest now, but I keep bomping into the wrong people here on this website who's just here to boss u around, asking for sex or cyber. 
I'm very curious to know what BDSM is really all about.
The everyday play/real time.



_____________________________

"People change and forget to tell you about it"
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/9/2007 7:39:55 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		It is for whatever the people who are involved in it, decide it to be. Your profile states you want friends, but are interested in women for more. You have made a decision on what you think the lifestyle is.

Others will have many other interpretations; that does not make them "wrong" people, just wrong for YOU.

You are asking a huge question, What is BDSM all about? You will receive as many replies as there are stars in the sky.

(in reply to Xtasesdoublepac)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/9/2007 7:49:34 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Each person defines his/her own life.  This lifestyle is like any other interest, be it karate, chess, boating, or anything else.  It can be a very small part of your life, or it can consume every moment.  Whatever you want and need.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/9/2007 7:57:47 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Xtasesdoublepac, Ladies and Gentlemen,
 
Sexyred1 was spot on with the reply to your questions.
 
For some, BDSM is just about sexual foreplay and sex, with kink; for some it is a dedicated couple who wish to incorporate the elements of bondage, discipline and or Sadism and or masochism as well as a Dominant and or authority role and or a submissive or passive and compliant role.  For some, it is a serious life choice as to use the template of Dominant authority and submissive and or passive power in their private life as to maintain their relationship in addition to interaction with all individuals in life.  Some use BDSM for healing, therapeutic means and or a vehicle to a spiritual oasis in 'sub-space' and or 'flying' that relies on body chemicals rather than drugs and or alcholic beverages.
 
For me, it is a life's choice.  It is my vehicle as a Dominant woman to move as one among my peers and know that I am not 'odd' or 'unique.'  Like so many people, I seek to create my own sense of peace, harmony, safety, consistancy and happiness. 
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs


(in reply to Xtasesdoublepac)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/9/2007 8:02:47 PM   
Lureaetagg


Posts: 24
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		If I was to make a general statement on what the lifestyle is, I would say it is trust. Nothing in BdSm can be done without some level of trust. When I think about the lifestyle my mind is immediately drawn to the trust involved.
A true Dom/sub would never involve themselves somewhere that trust was not.

Not sure how well this answers your question, but it is my view on the subject matter.

_____________________________

I am swift darkness taking over your world.

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/9/2007 8:06:08 PM   
mistressaries


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline 		hi and welcome Xtasesdoublepac,  sexyred1 is right.  There is way to many aspects to the lifestyle to say that any one is "right" or "wrong".  For me personally, this is about mutual pleasure and satisfying desires.  I would suggest that you just keep surfing and researching as much as you can.  There are many books out there that can help to give you ideas about some of the aspects.  I spent alot of time reading anything I could find on every possible things to do with bdsm when I first realized what it was that I had a desire for.  Chat with people, find your interests and research as much as possible.  There are many on this site that are very willing to chat and give you as much help as they can (myself among them).  Find out about your local community munches (if there are any) and try to attend.  Above all, remember that all things are possible but only some things will make you happy, find those things and enjoy. 
MissA

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/9/2007 8:26:53 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		while you will meet many people just looking for kinky sex or wank material, especially online... if you go to local munches and socials you will find real people with real lives... even in a 24/7 relationship, a successful one; most of the time its not play... i know many male Dom/ fem sub relationships are nearly indistinguishable from the ideal 50's americana household

and D/s does not necessarily mean sex or play


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to mistressaries)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/9/2007 8:37:17 PM   
LadyChef


Posts: 105
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lureaetagg

If I was to make a general statement on what the lifestyle is, I would say it is trust. Nothing in BdSm can be done without some level of trust. When I think about the lifestyle my mind is immediately drawn to the trust involved.
A true Dom/sub would never involve themselves somewhere that trust was not.

Not sure how well this answers your question, but it is my view on the subject matter.



I 100% agree with this! I am not only here for kinky sex via chat, phone or at a 1st meet or date....looks like I need to update My profile again..
 


_____________________________

You reap what you sow

(in reply to Lureaetagg)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/10/2007 7:05:00 AM   
Xtasesdoublepac


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		Wow! I should have came to the message board earlier. Thank you all for your comments. This is what I wanted and needed to know

_____________________________

"People change and forget to tell you about it"

(in reply to LadyChef)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/10/2007 8:17:39 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Xtasesdoublepac

Hello everyone,
I've been trying to find out about this lifestyle for the longest now, but I keep bomping into the wrong people here on this website who's just here to boss u around, asking for sex or cyber.
I'm very curious to know what BDSM is really all about.
The everyday play/real time.




Honestly, you'll need to get offline and find local education and munch groups to learn this.

Online is not the same as offline and most of us live our DS or do BDSM offline primarily.

Try this site to find groups near you:
http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html



_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Xtasesdoublepac)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/10/2007 9:53:34 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Its for sexual play - which can be lust or an expression of love, and when its love then it can also be for real life.

But its never real life without the love.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/10/2007 10:10:44 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Xtasesdoublepac
I'm very curious to know what BDSM is really all about.
The everyday play/real time.

In line with everyone else, there is no one definition to this.
To some people, that asking or demanding sex IS their everyday real time interaction. For others, there is no sex involved at all, and service can range in a hundred different directions. How people relate, how they interact, how partnerships are set up and how living arangements overall are put together are different for just about everyone here.
We dont all agree with how one another do things. Thats the beauty of it, we dont have to. There are only 2 people who HAVE to agree with how I run my house, for instance, and they are my 2 boys. Anyone else can have opinions, but I can take or leave them as I please.

If you are having too much trouble finding things out here, real life is a goods place to head.  It might be a touch more intimidating the first time or two, but it has to be better than butting your head against a wall trying to learn things from the ones you are bumping into here. Just keep in mind, no matter what you learn, you are going to have to figure things out every time you are with a different person. No one person can teach you everything you need to know, since there are no universal right and wrong things. What works for them might not work for someone else.

The reason you are getting a lot of wank email is probably because of the sexual tone of your profile.  You'll just ahve to get used to that on here, and weed out the useless interest.

DV



DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Xtasesdoublepac)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? - 12/10/2007 12:09:56 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear Xtasesdoublepac, Ladies and Gentlemen,
 
Sexyred1 was spot on with the reply to your questions.
 
For some, BDSM is just about sexual foreplay and sex, with kink; for some it is a dedicated couple who wish to incorporate the elements of bondage, discipline and or Sadism and or masochism as well as a Dominant and or authority role and or a submissive or passive and compliant role.  For some, it is a serious life choice as to use the template of Dominant authority and submissive and or passive power in their private life as to maintain their relationship in addition to interaction with all individuals in life.  Some use BDSM for healing, therapeutic means and or a vehicle to a spiritual oasis in 'sub-space' and or 'flying' that relies on body chemicals rather than drugs and or alcholic beverages.
 
For me, it is a life's choice.  It is my vehicle as a Dominant woman to move as one among my peers and know that I am not 'odd' or 'unique.'  Like so many people, I seek to create my own sense of peace, harmony, safety, consistancy and happiness. 
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs




My setiments exactly.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 13
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