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Desires2BeOwned -> im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 1:29:24 AM)

i have recently made a page as an extra for my profile, as a few Domme's have ask for extra information. it seams that i have offended a few over weight Domme's and this want my intent. i have always been bad with words, and i cant stand it when i hurt some ones feelings, even more so when i do it to a Women. not i don't feel that Women are less, i guess the reason i hate men so much is because of the fact that both wives i have had were either beaten or abused by men that they dated before they married me. i cant stand the idea of someone slapping, hitting, or abusing women, it really erks me, in a way i cant begin to explain. and to top it off i was molested as a child by other men, so id say that plays a big role in it too. most of my friends are Women, and i value their thoughts and ideas very much. if You are among the few that i have offended i beg you to forgive me for my foolishness. i really didn't mean anything, except that im not attracted to anyone that isn't rather skinny. that don't mean that i think a Women that is bigger is ugly or a bad person. my Aunt is overweight, and i love her, and i have many friends that are also. this don't make them any less, i just want and prefer, and am very turned on to the idea of being dominated by what i consider beautiful. everyone is different, everyone is important, no one person it better then another. i don't hate anyone, not even the fool that talked my wife into leaving me. i still love her, and i have waited for her since May 3rd, 2003 at around about 6pm when she never came home. i am not angry, and to be honest im a bit numb now. seams that every time i give my whole heart i am left in the dust. i am a very forgiving person, and money is not a big deal to me. i value love, honesty, trust, companionship, loyalty, and friendship high above everything else. it seams that there are very few real people in this world, and very few people can tell the difference between love and lust, and fucking and making love. they are both very different, and done with different feelings. when one loves you, you see it and you feel it, and it doesn't pass. true love is unconditional, and last forever. Inga used me for a green card, but i still love her. 2 weeks after she left i called her in Latvia, and she said to me, "Tony I don't love you, I never have, I just said it because I thought you needed to hear it, but I want you to be happy". You can beat me till im black and blue, and you will never once come even close to hurting me half as much as she did when she said that. we have all been hurt in our lives, and we have all had our share of bullshit. if i can forgive this, and still have love for her, and i really foolish? for what wrong have i committed for loving my wife?, and forgiving her? Love and forgiveness are 2 very important things in life. if more of us expressed it, we would all be a lot better off in the long run, but don't get me wrong, i am a man, and i need a good beating once in a while, if not more often. i really from the bottom of my heart, want to fit in somewhere, to be used, abused whatever it takes to be a good servant and slave. i act from my heart, not my cock or my mind. if i let my dick do all my thinking id be in serious shit. mans best friend is not dog, but instead Hand, Hand is always there for him. Sept the odd times when hand is cheating on him, BAD HAND! i hope that you notice that i have a since of humor also, i would hope that this would be a valued trait? regardless of where i end up, or whom i end up serving. Please if i have offended any, i ask thy forgiveness, and i am truly sorry. - slave tony

Thank Goddess for Spell Checkers, otherwise if i hadn't ran it threw i would have lost all this lol.

PS: The page for extras: Desires2BeOwned.Psychotic4Play.com Home Site: TonyFordz.com Just for Domme's: FemdomHosting.com

Be Well, All/all.....




ShadeDiva -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 1:37:57 AM)

You sound kinda hurt. I hope that heals for you!

May you find whatever it is that you seek. *smile*

~ShadeDiva




Sinergy -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 6:09:47 AM)

quote:

it seams that i have offended a few over weight Domme's and this want my intent. i have always been bad with words, and i cant stand it when i hurt some ones feelings, even more so when i do it to a Women.


Hello,

From my perspective if you are able to alter somebody else's emotional state (i.e. offend them) then they have given up control of their emotions to you.

Doesnt seem like a very Dominant thing to give to a submissive, particularly a total stranger who is making first contact, but there ya go.

Just my opinion, could be wrong.

Sinergy




MistressVegas -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 6:52:25 AM)

We all have those things that attract us, it's what makes us human. For Me, it's humor and intelligence - you can be Brad Pitt, but if you have the personality of a doorstop - I want nothing to do with you. Only you can say what's right for you. If they're that sensitive, that's their issue, not yours. Live, learn and move on.
~Mistress Vegas~




italianalala -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 6:54:19 AM)

Tony:

What the speaker says reflects on the speaker and paints for the listener what the character qualities of the speaker might be.

Nothing you say can hurt another persons' feelings. Period.

They have to mentally translate your words to an insult for it to be an insult.

Tony, I am thick (euphemism for chubby, oh, how wonderful to imagine that an older woman is chubby, the state of some youth -- I am chubby). You can call me fat, whatever words you choose to insult me, you think will insult me.

However, I will look at you and see what you are -- you the talker, you are mean spirited, callous and la di da. Guess what -- my feelings were not hurt.

Focus on good things that will help you in your life so you will become who you want to be.

Peace to you.

Ma'am

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blueberries are in season -- with milk and cereal in the morning. Yummy!!!!!




Sinergy -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 11:31:09 AM)

Hello,

From the movie Roadhouse:

Character "What if somebody calls you a cocksucker?"

Patrick Swayze "It is two words combined to create a proscribed response"

They are just words. In my opinion, how a person responds to them is a pretty
good weather vane for what sort of person they are. If the first response back
from somebody you are approaching is one of them being insulted by something you said tot them, I would imagine that one would end up 4 months into the relationship walking on eggshells hoping to avoid upsetting their fragile ego.

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, learned my lesson...

Extrapolating that out, one of the things many abused women who kick me in the head in class say is that they would go home to the abuser wondering what he was going to get riled up and have an emotional meltdown about that particular evening.

Sinergy




MistressVivianCA -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 12:10:03 PM)

"Women that are over weight, or anyone that does not take regular showers, Women that want me to dominate them, or be in control."

After reading your additional page this was the only quote I found that had anything to do with weight. I am a very overweight domme and do not find this offensive at all.

I actually prefer it when potential submissives put a preference for height weight proportionate or BBW welcome in their profiles. It saves a lot of time and energy to just spell it out.

Honestly, I wish more male submissives would put one or the other down as I am much more likely to initiate contact with someone who specifies they welcome BBWs then one who shows no preferences.

I would guess if you have had negative feed back it is because you have a comma between your dislike of overweight women and your dislike of those not taking showers.

As you may know a common insulting stereotype of fat women is that they do not bathe. I believe if you have accidentally offended some it is because they are sensitive to the two concepts being linked.

If you would simply separate the concepts in such a way that it cannot be interpreted that you link the lack of showering with being over weight I believe it would end the misunderstandings.

Best wishes, Vivian




iwillserveu -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 6:39:25 PM)

Desires2Beowned,

If anyone takes offense at someting you say when you meant no offense they are idiots. If you offend idiots, so? They should grow a thicker skin if they are going to give you authority over their feelings.

It is like being mad at the messenger. I have no idea what you said but I bet you said you didn't want fat chicks. There choices are a) ignore it b) do something about their weight c) attack you.

They opted for c). That is the same logic Dracula had for being evil but breaking mirrors.




Sinergy -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 7:14:50 PM)

quote:

If anyone takes offense at someting you say when you meant no offense they are idiots. If you offend idiots, so? They should grow a thicker skin if they are going to give you authority over their feelings.


How do they know what a person "meant" unless they are psychic?

I agree entirely with this sentence except I would get rid of the "when you meant no offense." My approach is to ask for clarification (politely) to make sure they are trying to offend me.

Example:

Person A: Sinergy, you are a COMPLETE MINDLESS CRETIN TOOL WHO SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT.

Sinergy: I am hearing you want to do mindless things with tools to complete things and then you want to go out shooting. Am I understanding what you mean?

Person A: THAT IS NOT IT AT ALL! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THEY PASSED OUT BRAINS YOU NITWIT!

Sinergy: I apologize for the misunderstanding. Are you inviting me over for dinner so we can have cooked sweetbreads?

It is important to fully clarify that the person's intent is to actually offend you.

This is, of course, my opinion and I could be wrong.

Sinergy




Desires2BeOwned -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 10:32:10 PM)

"I have no idea what you said but I bet you said you didn't want fat chicks. There choices are a) ignore it b) do something about their weight c) attack you."

To be honest i never even said the word "Fat", and i don't refer to Dominant Women as "Chicks", as i find that to be way out of line, and rude.

As far as what one of the Mistresses was up set about: She felt that since the Weight, and Shower thing were all in the same line, that i was saying that Women that are over weight didn't take showers. this is not the way i meant for that to be read, or taken. i myself love the water, and i take 4-6 showers a day as i cant stand smelling of sweat. i sweat very easy and the smell drives me ape shit (Pardon language).

- slave tony




Desires2BeOwned -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 10:38:49 PM)

damn i must admit that "Sinergy" has a great sense of humor. LMFAO, at your reply there about misunderstanding. i would really hate to cross paths with someone that takes toughs comments as complements lol. to damn funny, thanks for the laugh, i needed that.

- slave tony




Sundew02 -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/7/2004 10:53:33 PM)

My only comment is I believe a more possitive approach would have prevented the Dominant women of size from voicing strong objections. It would have been much more diplomatic to state: My search is for a thin Dominant woman. One who enjoys being frequently bathed and wishes a very submissive man around the house. Negative statements tend to collect negative replies. Be safe, good luck in your search. Sundew




LadyAngelika -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/8/2004 5:03:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressVivianCA

"Women that are over weight, or anyone that does not take regular showers, Women that want me to dominate them, or be in control."

After reading your additional page this was the only quote I found that had anything to do with weight. I am a very overweight domme and do not find this offensive at all.

I actually prefer it when potential submissives put a preference for height weight proportionate or BBW welcome in their profiles. It saves a lot of time and energy to just spell it out.

Honestly, I wish more male submissives would put one or the other down as I am much more likely to initiate contact with someone who specifies they welcome BBWs then one who shows no preferences.


I agree with you on this MistressVivian. I consider myself Rubenesque, which is perhaps one of the most flattering ways of saying larger. Painters like Matisse & Reubens were seeking larger women for their paintings. Just think of Naimo's images of the tiny submissive men and large women, a recurring theme in all his art. I know submissive men for whom that is the epitome of eroticism. I often get messages from submissive men who don't just *welcome* BBW women but who seek them out. And why not! We are beautiful!

That being said, I definitely agree that all this is a question of preference. I cannot be offended by someone who is not attracted to me: if that were the case, I'd be offending hundreds of people everyday.

However, and this I believe is the major issues of contention, I believe it would be wise Desires2BeOwned that you write about what you want rather then what you don't want. And this not only because you will offend less people, but because I find it to be a more positive way of approaching things. And if I may permit myself an observation, from reading your post, I think in general you could use a little bit more positive thinking.

Tell us you want a slender sleek Mistress, tell us you want one that is well groomed, etc. It paints a beautiful image for sure! And if someone still gets offended, I echo most here when I say it's not your issue but theirs to deal with.

I hope you find all that it is that you are looking for.

Lady Angelika




Laura -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/8/2004 10:27:49 AM)

Dommes are not robots, we have feelings too. Everyone (even big, bad Doms) has something they are a little senstive about.

If women stopped being sensitive about their looks cosmetic sales would drop drastically.

Anyway, though I see the logic of your comment, I think it was unrealistic.




Laura -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/8/2004 10:33:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

There choices are a) ignore it b) do something about their weight c) attack you.



For you, the spellchecker.

Their choices are....

They're making choices

There was no choice...




iwillserveu -> Sorry this is off topic (7/8/2004 5:09:38 PM)

Welcome spellchecking police.[:)] No, I'm not offended. Especially since it was the wrong word. (No, Laura, I'm not "yelling" at you I'm yelling for the person who complains about people having their spelling corrected EVEN WHEN THE MISSPELLING EFFECTS MEANING.)

BTW, many spell checkers would pick up the typos ("grba" instead of "grab") but would leave "there" as spelled right even if it should be "they're".




Laura -> RE: Sorry this is off topic (7/9/2004 7:43:34 AM)

No one is perfect, spellcheckers can only check for mistyped words. If you are writing something formal/ business you really need to rely on yourself. It's embarassing to have to an editor return your work with a note about a typo you should have caught. I never rely just on the spellchecker when I submit work.




Desires2BeOwned -> RE: im having male pms lol, last post didnt go threw (7/10/2004 8:41:11 AM)

I would like to thank eveyone for their time, and replys. i have interest in one Domme, and i am hoping for the best. if this dosent work out, then so says life, ill just move on. i have deleted my profile, this i feel is the best as no one can take offence, and if they do oh well. good luck to everyone in Your/your jurneys and finding whatever it is that you seek. Be well, tony.




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