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Vanilla Situations - 12/25/2007 3:59:43 PM

naughtyboysub

Posts: 6
Joined: 12/25/2007
Status: offline

I am looking for some input on how to handle the duel role of being a sub to a Domme and yet interacting in public like a vanilla couple to the extent that this is what others see. I understand that at all times and in all situations the Domme is in charge and makes all the decisions and that is the way it should be, but I am still trying to come to grips with sitting back and relaxing with my Domme in those vanilla situations.

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RE: Vanilla Situations - 12/25/2007 4:31:51 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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How long have you been together? As you do this more and more you should become more comfortable with it.

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RE: Vanilla Situations - 12/25/2007 5:24:35 PM

lockmeupplease

Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2006
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My best advice is that when out with your Domme you can never go wrong by being a perfect gentleman. Nobody will think it odd that you hold doors, carry her things and otherwise act politely.

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RE: Vanilla Situations - 12/25/2007 7:40:08 PM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtyboysub

I am looking for some input on how to handle the duel role of being a sub to a Domme and yet interacting in public like a vanilla couple to the extent that this is what others see. I understand that at all times and in all situations the Domme is in charge and makes all the decisions and that is the way it should be, but I am still trying to come to grips with sitting back and relaxing with my Domme in those vanilla situations.

I hate to state the obvious, but why don't you ask your Domme how she would like you to handle the various vanilla situations you're likely to encounter?? We can give you lots of advice here on the boards, but it's her preferences that would seem to me to matter the most!

- pixel

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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

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RE: Vanilla Situations - 12/26/2007 3:09:54 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtyboysub

I am looking for some input on how to handle the duel role of being a sub to a Domme and yet interacting in public like a vanilla couple to the extent that this is what others see. I understand that at all times and in all situations the Domme is in charge and makes all the decisions and that is the way it should be, but I am still trying to come to grips with sitting back and relaxing with my Domme in those vanilla situations.

This is an exellent observation. I had problems with that as well. I find that I handle it better by just deferring to my Superior. I let her take the lead (boy I really prefer it!).

A kinky way of handling this is to have a heart-to-heart with your Domme, and tell her you need a lot of guidence in this area. I've asked her to correct me in public (humiliating) or punish me in private in order to learn deeply the lessons I needed to learn in this area. Having her say, 'I make the decisions in our relationship' to the waitress or whomever certainly drives home the point in a public place, yet is not too 'kinky' for a vanilla world.

As I'm very submissive and love to lay at her feet, deferring to her is very natural, and I don't need any prompting at all. In fact, I find that some Dommes have a bit of difficulty in taking the reins totally, and treating me as the abject slave that I am.

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