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RE: Just a few questions - 7/16/2004 6:48:03 PM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserve

Good luck and if it does not work out, remember this is not the place for dirty laundry. (no emoticon - see how that works, everyone?)

iwill-
Duh.
As Always-
Berlin

(in reply to iwillserveu)

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Post #: 21

RE: Just a few questions - 7/16/2004 7:53:00 PM

MasterMalicesage

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/13/2004
Status: offline

are not alone in your newness. Stand tall with your head "high" and be brave. Dont let anyone take advantage of you, push you around, and demand anything from you until there is a mutual contract binding. Day after day, night after night...reading, understanding, studying, visitng web pages, message boards, chat rooms...encapsulating it to the Nth degree ...all i can advise is to be picky, there is nothing wrong with not liking a Master or Dom...remember they dont own you until you agree to it...difference between a sub and a slave is a slave has no voice but a sub does...so speak up until then and weed out through the players and butchers...and first suggestion...READ...visit every web page available...start with this one... www.mastermalice.com
be well....sage

(in reply to MzBerlin)

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Post #: 22

RE: Just a few questions - 7/19/2004 11:25:25 PM

UtahGoddess

Posts: 205
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Utah
Status: offline

Keep in mind (as I have posted on other threads) your first meet is a BLIND DATE....regardless of how well you "feel" you know each other, or how "in love" you are. (I'll skip past this rerun and move on to the more practical advice for beginning a 24/7)

1) Be realistic. When negotiating expectations and responsibilities, stay focussed in reality. In other words....only agree to those things you are CERTAIN you can do on a regular basis as well as things that are wanted on a regular basis. (Things like "be naked on your knees every day at 4pm to give me a blowjob" may sound good in the short term, but after a few months will not be as exciting)

2) Be practical. When assigning/negotiating household duties ..... assign based on ability as opposed to gender or power dynamic. (Examples: The Dom/me may be the better cook or housekeeper. The sub may be better with finances. Etc etc)

3) Keep it simple. Start with minimal rules and rituals and build (add on) as you go. It is easier to add new things to an already working system than to repair a failed one. By starting simple it allows more opportunity for both the Dom/me and the sub to succeed.

4) Be flexible. Remember we are human. As humans we are innately flawed. You (and your Dom) are going to fail from time to time. Perfection is a goal that can never be reached as it's definition is constantly changing.

5) Power based relationships do not fix relationship problems or repair broken individuals. It is easy to fantasize that D/s solves everything. The reality is.....wherever you go....there you are. (Whatever baggage you carry with you, you are certain to unpack once you arrive) D/s can alleviate some issues couples face, to be sure.....but it can also add new problems and it's own brand of conflict.

I hope everything works out for you the way you want and this relationship is all you hope it to be. Try to stay grounded until after you meet face to face. By minimizing your "first date" expectations you insulate yourself if things do not go well....as well as leave yourself open to joy if things go superbly.

Good luck

Ms Sandi

_____________________________

"The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love" Havelock Ellis The Project Gutenberg

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Post #: 23

RE: Just a few questions - 7/20/2004 10:52:06 PM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
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UtahGoddess-
I think this is wonderful advice and would like to put it in my "misc" box for reference on my computer. May I please cut and paste?
As Always-
Berlin

(in reply to UtahGoddess)

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Post #: 24

RE: Just a few questions - 8/19/2004 7:59:33 AM

subman530

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/31/2004
Status: offline

Well Mz Berlin:
make sure yoiu and he have a contract so u can spell out the whole TPE relationship for both of you. i was a live in slave for 6yrs but my Mstress died yrs ago. and now i seek one again. be safe Ma'am

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Post #: 25

RE: Just a few questions - 10/1/2004 5:28:49 PM

randsboy

Posts: 63
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Olympia WA
Status: offline

the use of a contract is always a plus as you can beet out the particulars during the neotiation period

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randsboy

always home during the day and willing to play. I do not drive, but could host. color & ethnicity not a problem

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Post #: 26