amelliagrace
Posts: 1792
Joined: 8/4/2007 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ygraine Hello Aswad, Grace, Wow, you know, I did not think of what I was doing as either manipulative or kowtowing! I was thinking of it more as being more polite or respectful, but still getting my point across. I don't picture you as either of those, actually, which is why I mentioned the distinction between diplomacy and manipulation clothed as courtesy. I do not think Aswad was failing to recognize the difference. Perhaps he will comment on that. quote:
The fact is, if I come across as bitchy to any of the afore mentioned men they will call me on it damn fast. I did not mean to imply I was twisting things to get my way (which I would consider manipulative) nor was I being a milquetoast and just saying "yes dear" which, yeah would piss them off beyond redemption! I had a conversation with a friend last night about this and he said, it is in the "tone" that you speak, and perhaps that is what I meant. That is, indeed, how I've pictured you in my mind's eye, ygraine. Not bitchy, not milquetoast. I however, will readily own that I can be seen as bitchy at times. In fact, I've heard people I know and love say, "hmmm, a bit bitchy on this subject, aren't you?" The answer to which is usually, "And your point is? Let's get back to this discussion." Then again, I have conversations all the time (mostly offline) with men suffering from advanced testosterone poisoning. I figure that and the bitchiness usually balance out in the end. quote:
I am not afraid to put forth my ideas, but I would do it in a respectful way, as a student to a beloved teacher perhaps? I have to say that he must have superior knowledge and experience to mine on the subject in question in order for me to defer to him in that manner. Genetic composition and a penis alone won't get it. Men I respect, however, wouldn't dream of being respected or defered to simply on that basis anyway. quote:
The things I cannot do is back up and say.."oh that is not what I meant".. or .."never mind"...or get snotty. I am accountable for what I say. I hope this cleared it up some. I think, as you said Aswad, these men would see right through manipulation and the consequences would be pretty ugly. As for kowtowing...well I think if you asked any of them if I did that they would laugh like hell. I have to say though, that regarding kowtowing, I would disagree that all men do not like that. I think there is an (albeit small) subset of Gorean men who would prefer a slave over a free woman because a slave would do what he commanded, and not disagree. I think they do prefer kowtowing over a woman who would speak her own opinion. To me, those who use the phrase "mouthy free woman" prefer just that. Yes, they certainly do exist, whether they call themselves gorean or not, lol. Thing is, I see the term "mouthy free woman" as a way of saying, "how dare you expect me to be man enough to hold my own in a conversation, or life, without the equivalent of a golfer's handicap?". Certainly, if a man feels all women should behave and speak as slaves, then those are the only women he should willingly interact with. That is his choice, and I respect any man's right to make that choice. quote:
Thank you for your input to the discussion, Aswad! I am glad to see men on here, too. Y I, too, appreciate the comments made by the men who've popped into this thread from time to time. Regards- Grace Edited, this time, (sigh) because I screwed up the cut and paste.
< Message edited by amelliagrace -- 1/27/2008 6:40:17 AM >
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