RE: Switches need not apply

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Switches need not apply

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> RE: Switches need not apply

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 4 [5]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Switches need not apply - 2/22/2008 1:18:01 AM

DaddyAndCarina

Posts: 1789
Joined: 2/8/2008
Status: offline

Being a top/domme wasn't really a choice for me.... While being trained by a Gorean he saw things in me that led him to train me more toward first girl, then decided I had a side of me that needed to come out. Well I wasn't so sure of that , but in time he trained me for over a year. the wicked little mind didnt need much cultivation but the many of the other aspects did, I learned alot from him and I used it to teach others.In all this time I have owned one and that lasted 8 years. But I he was aware I was also submissive and that was where my heart lay. And over time he became my friend as well.

I thnk alot just dont understand us ... I can not switch the roles with the same person... I can not Dominate one I submit to, and I can not allow something to dominate me if the submit to me. It is two different workds but I think we intimidate some and I know I am gonna get bashed for this but I think it is the weaker Dominants that cant handle a switch. But thats okay ... I prefer a Master that can put me on my knee just by looking at me, I prefer a Master who can take me over the edge with out touching me.... And some one who can not handle what I am ( or was) I didnt need

_____________________________

What Daddy wants ... Daddy GETS ~ Carina

I am not simply a label ~ I am simply what he created

(in reply to Aneirin)

Profile

Post #: 81

RE: Switches need not apply - 2/22/2008 3:33:20 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Many of the switches I have spoken to have sub like profile names which is an instant turn off eg "subguyforyou" something to that affect, and also the ones i have spoken to use the term "i want to dominate you" and i cant stand that i dont know why, it redues it all a bit for me and makes it like a chore or purely about sex or whatever. I know a lot of female switches who are sub for their Master and Domme to girls and i get on fine with them I think its just as I feel naturally submissive i cant comprehend feeling both, thats the problem we all have though unless you feel it you dont understand it and not understanding something means fear of it I guess. I would never rule out a switch in itself its a bout the person not the label at the end of the day but at the same time i think i would find it hard to have teh same amount of healty fear for someone I knew was a sub too. Its a terrible thing being judgemental but we all have that capability i guess.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to DaddyAndCarina)

Profile

Post #: 82

RE: Switches need not apply - 2/23/2008 2:42:16 PM

AtlantisKing111

Posts: 181
Joined: 1/14/2005
Status: offline

I've never put "switches need not apply" on my profile, but I think most simply want an "I know what you are, I know what I am" sort of relationship. I personally have no animus towards switches, but as a Dom I prefer subs not switches.

I hope I'm not talking out of turn here. I've not come into the Switch board often.

AK

(in reply to Aneirin)

Profile

Post #: 83

RE: Switches need not apply - 2/24/2008 2:15:17 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dmon

We really are talking about different things here. It's more a feeling than an action. I like to know I'm 50/50 with some one most of the time. Equal share partners. Both in act and in feeling. Both have equal say in everything.

I get that. But I don't like having half the responsibility for making things go right. I like knowing that if I can't handle something, he can and will. The other side of half the rights is half the responsibility.

Someone has to decide what new car to buy, I give in my list of needs in a vehicle and he researches what car best fits those needs and tells me which to get.

I'm equal in value to the relationship, because if I wasn't here, then he wouldn't have a relationship. But that's different than equal in authority.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Dmon)

Profile

Post #: 84

RE: Switches need not apply - 2/24/2008 2:21:00 PM

Dmon

Posts: 82
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline

Well I'm sure there'll be a few who grumble at your statement AK, but then that happens everywhere. You actually caught on to a very key point, though. You don't really know what a switch is. That probably would make you a little uncomfortable if ever played with one. And maybe that is a genuine problem switches have. The Dom's and the sub's can't quite figure switches out, or don't think they can....

But now seriously, I am getting a little depressed with all this talk lately. True enough, that a switch has a hard time in BDSM but we're choosing our destiny in this. And we don't like the idea of choosing one side or the other just because it makes things more convienent.... Atleast thats how I see it.

I'm going to post a new thread about happy joy joy feelings of being a switch. Lets have a little fun with it.

(in reply to AtlantisKing111)

Profile

Post #: 85

RE: Switches need not apply - 2/24/2008 7:29:44 PM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I only see it in this way. I'm pure D. I can't be anything else. And all that means is that I can't give a switch all they need and that doesn't seem right or fair.

But that's *not* what it means - at least, not for all switches.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Profile

Post #: 86

RE: Switches need not apply - 3/4/2008 7:21:59 PM

lytehaze

Posts: 32
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oliderid

quote:

Having a Dom turn and say essentially “ok now your turn” is very disconcerting.

Switching means you don't know what is going to happen tonight. It doesn't mean that you have to switch during the night, you truly act like a sub or a dom, for a day, a week or even more. The thing is that it will change, sooner or later.

But as you pointed out, if you need to admire your dom, then it won't be the right path for you. There is no admiration in a switch couple as far as I know. You simply love your partner.

"No admiration". Is this true of switch relationships? Do others feel this way? I don't mean to hijack I am just curious. Perhaps I'll make another post.

A mate who has not one admirable quality/action/trait? I would hope admiration for ones partner would be desired in switch relationships as well. I think admiring your partner and loving your partner are not mutually exclusive. And for me it is not a need to admire it is simply something I do. I admire a great many things about Him and I would hope He admires things about me as well.

The switching sooner or later, whether it be a day or week part is what I dislike. But that's me. Others will find the variety exciting. I think the many orientations are integral to the lifestyle.

_____________________________

Obligatory disclaimer: Of course the above views are my own, as I can only speak for myself. Should others identify or disagree with my thoughts, that is their right. I in no way meant to offend, by malice or negligence any person or group.

(in reply to oliderid)

Profile

Post #: 87