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what direction??? - 7/11/2004 3:32:15 PM

crinkelbutt

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/26/2004
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Hello A/all

i have a question regarding my expectations or my direction. Here goes,

About one year ago while i was in a vannilla relationship i found a local club that has Bondage night. i was so thrilled to find a outlet that i started to frquently go. It is more of a goth club, i am not goth, but over the course of a few months i developed a rapport with the Mistress who worked there. I am not the goth type so the amount of people i actually got to know has been minimal. This Mistress and i went to Chicago one month ago for a rope bondage weekend. This was the 1st time i spent quality time alone with her for any length of time. i found out she is a switch, and she was seeking to be topped that weekend. i also knew she is a lesbian who only goes out with sissy's and women. i enjoy being transformed into a sissy girl so this was very exiting for me.

We enjoyed the weekend, had no private play, but did a scene out in public where she topped me. Overall i had a good time and i felt she did as well. i did spend the weekend in "costume" and we did some "vanilla things as well". Overall very good exept for the lack of play.

Now here is where the story gets interesting, i am no longer in this vanilla relationship. i have continued my visits to the club and am considered a regular, i even have been given Mistress's private phone, available for whatever.

2 weeks ago she introduced me to another very very beutifull Mistress ill call her Mistress J, who works the club on a different night, she has movies, travels all over, very popular, and always has men and women giveing her attention. She is stunningly beutifull. Well 2 weeks ago it was Mistress J birthday, i was doing a small 10 mn public session as a adult baby and when it was over she walked up to me, grabbed me by the ear, pulled me over to where she was sitting and had me sit by her. i was so nervious i couldnt sit still. we had some small talk, she introduced me to some of her friends, and the next thing i know the night was over. She gave me her email addy and i wrote her the next day.

Well my lesbian Mistress told me she emailed mistress J to say how naughty i was, that i was a adult baby, i dont know what else was said. i do know there is some intrest in the AB scene for mistress J because she introduced me to Matt, who is an AB and seems to be her reciently alpha slave? i dont know for sure.

Next thing i went back to the club, and she was there again, i had a very very breif session on stage and she said to email her my "story". A few days have passed and i did. (divorced, seeking connection, sub, adult baby, but not limited to that..blah blah blah...) i receved a email back saying she loved it, called it an biography ...im thinking shi* to much info came across as needy, etc. but she assured me through emails that she loved it.

Now i go back to the club, feeling a bit frustrated, have a few drinks (i dont drink but 2 to 3 times a year) and proceed to get drunk. Not a good move. i am feeling frisky and i become very naughty, not listening, spouting off at the mouth, almost like a two year old looking for attention. both Mistress's were there, and matt was there as well. i never saw that combination together before. So my ignorance im thinking mistress j was there to coninue to get to know me (how arrogant i know). Needless to say i was not myself, and the night ended with Mistress J leaving without saying good bye and Mistress somewhat giving me the cold shoulder. i felt horrable absolutely horrable. One thing Mistress J told me to come by Sat night, last night, i said i would. Well i left to go out of town fri, sent an email to both Mistress's explaining that, but feeling i dont want to fuc* up i left the trip to go to the club last night not to break my promise i made the other night.

i walked in last night, she saw me from the other end of the room and asked me to give her a hug, when i reached to hug her she stated "I thought you went out of town"' my response", "i couldnt break my promise so i left to come see You."
She said that was sweet, we played for a bit, i got a few winks, and appoliged 2 times for drinking to much the other night, she paddled me and asked if i lerned my lesson and if i would ever get drunk again i told her no way absolutely not not even 1 drink was had. Again im not a drinker exept on very very rare occasions.

So here is my question, where do i go with Mistress J, i didnt email her today, where do i go with Mistress? i am very emotional, i dont think Mistress would give my info to Mistress J if she thought i was an idiot. i am so close to getting to know more in the community and i consider myself very very open, and willing to do almost anything with the right person. (making a point). i am professional, a horrable speller, and at a cross roads. i want so much to become active in the lifestyle, but i dont know if my exitement is causing false hopes. i can't say lets have a session, or lets do this for i am truly submissive. i do have my own personality i am not dull.

i hope this all makes sense, and i am trying to rationally think things through. i just dont know if my exitment is creating false hopes.

Any thoughts or advise from someone who has been on the top of the food chain. (typical supply and demand) would be appretiated.

"A goal without a plan is a wish"

be well E/everyone i wish Y/you all success...

-d-

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RE: what direction??? - 7/11/2004 3:47:53 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

i can't say lets have a session, or lets do this for i am truly submissive.

What does being submissive have to do with asking for something, like a session or a date, or whatever it is you are looking for? Subs are not doormats or dimwits. Speak up and let them know what you want. Then they can decide what they want from you.

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RE: what direction??? - 7/11/2004 4:16:56 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Stop. Breath. Repeat.

If you'd like the relationship to go in a specific direction with either of them, then let them know that you're interested in such and available...and then let it be and continue with the status quo.

I've often found that, while I'm not looking, someone who comes into my life, gets to know me and finds a way to just naturally fit in and make themself a contributing member often will endear themself to me. That is a very good place from which to jump off.

Just be available and happy for what you are given. My experience is that clearly stated desires, coupled with a lack of demands and expectations for action often garners unexpected rewards.

Remember to breath. Everything else takes care of itself.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

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RE: what direction??? - 7/11/2004 6:04:19 PM

crinkelbutt

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/26/2004
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quote:

My experience is that clearly stated desires, coupled with a lack of demands and expectations for action often garners unexpected rewards.

My experience is that clearly stated desires, coupled with a lack of demands and expectations for action often garners unexpected rewards.

perfetly stated......just need a push i guess.....thanks ill keep checking

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RE: what direction??? - 7/11/2004 10:21:38 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I've often found that, while I'm not looking, someone who comes into my life, gets to know me and finds a way to just naturally fit in and make themself a contributing member often will endear themself to me. That is a very good place from which to jump off.

This will be the third post I have used the line from the movie Fight Club.

"You have to LET GO"

I do want to caveat that by saying that staying in my apartment and working 7 days a week did not give me much opportunity to meet people, so I forced my lazy keister to go dancing 2-4 nights a week and now I am once again in the company of women. I tried going to the local BDSM club, but the people I met there were already in relationships and I am not into infringing on other peoples couplings.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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RE: what direction??? - 7/11/2004 11:39:08 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
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crinkelbutt, how old are you? Your post sounds like a 15 year old schoolgirl. I would say that the key word for you to remember is "Relax"!
Both Mistresses will decide where or if they want to go anywhere with you. Just relax and try not to get on their nerves.

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RE: what direction??? - 7/12/2004 12:08:26 AM

Sundew02

Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
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I read this post and also read your profile. I would say you like things to be organized. So organize your thoughts. First, the club scene, is this what you want? If so then keep going, and let your willingness to serve show. You appearently are drawn to these two Dominant women, and like who and what they are. Strike up conversations, this is a club remember? So chat and be available. Learn about whatever you have discovered they enjoy, bring it up in conversation. A particular color they like, wear it. Relax is good advice, but without a plan to reach the goal you will more than likely trip over your feet and tongue trying to get their attention. Patience and availability will help. And leave the booze in the bottle. Good luck, Tess

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RE: what direction??? - 7/12/2004 4:56:44 AM

crinkelbutt

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/26/2004
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all informtion that is known just need to hear it...Thanks for the responses, Im going to let them both know i am available for play, stand back and wait. If nothing happens It least i will know. I had a great email yesterday that talked about tunnel vision, couldnt say it any better. And by the way, i do like things organized, very perceptive.

-d-

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RE: what direction??? - 7/12/2004 5:02:10 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crinkelbutt

all informtion that is known just need to hear it...Thanks for the responses, Im going to let them both know i am available for play, stand back and wait. If nothing happens It least i will know. I had a great email yesterday that talked about tunnel vision, couldnt say it any better. And by the way, i do like things organized, very perceptive.

-d-

If you're going to say 'available for play' then understand that it's likely they will hear you say "play" not "relationship" and, if it were me, it would put you on the back burner. Not because I'm looking for a relationship but because guys looking for play are a dime a zillion. Remember, dominant women (in general) don't want to be approached as potential play partners, they want to be approached as women. There is a difference.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

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RE: what direction??? - 7/12/2004 9:11:12 AM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

If you're going to say 'available for play' then understand that it's likely they will hear you say "play" not "relationship" and, if it were me, it would put you on the back burner. Not because I'm looking for a relationship but because guys looking for play are a dime a zillion. Remember, dominant women (in general) don't want to be approached as potential play partners, they want to be approached as women. There is a difference.

Hello,

What she said. I wanted to throw my $0.02 in if I may.

If I were approached by person X asking me to play with them because they enjoy it, I would be wondering whether the person viewed me as a life support system for a single tail.

There is a human with feelings, emotions, desires, interests, intelligence, etc., attached to that flogger, and if you dont make it a point of discovering who that person is, Im not sure how successful you will be in finding somebody to play with you.

If you are unwilling to do that, there are professional Dommes who you pay money to to flog you. BDSM works because both sides get what they need from the relationship; its not all about what you want.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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RE: what direction??? - 7/12/2004 4:37:11 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring
Just relax and try not to get on their nerves.

You read my mind Estring! The whole original post almost gave me a rash!

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: what direction??? - 7/18/2004 7:29:08 AM

crinkelbutt

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/26/2004
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All good posts as far as beeing 15 yr old schoolgirl...well...i will leave that one alone.

Up to date i have made amends, have a dinner date with both Mistress's sometime soon, as far as the play vs. relationships You all all right, deap breath slow down and be myself. i am trying to get to know them and over time i will. i was told about tunnel vision and that is so damm true, Yes BDSM it is for both parties, and yes subs are a dime a dozen thats the whole dang issue isnt it??????????

Checkout her web site. www.mistressjean.com and You can see how beutifull she really is.

Thanks again for the support esp MizSuz...i want that signed copy!!!

-d-

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