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RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 10:22:35 AM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I never said that. What I said was :"Men and a few women dont understand the strange bonds women can have with each other ".
I would never suggest that men dont feel. What I suggested is they may not understand our ways with each other or our strange bounds.


Men who have been in active duty in the same unit in the military might disagree with you.
Or they might say you can never understand that sort of bond.
Perhaps they would be wrong in that?

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 341
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 10:50:14 AM   
charmdpetKeira


Posts: 916
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quote:

You make some really interesting points –


Thank you.

quote:

I note that you're a fan of psychoanalysis also.


Yes :), merely an amateur though.

quote:

Is that why you make fun of Freud by replacing the 'e' by an 'a' :-) ?


Ummm… no, that was a fine demonstration of my lack of ability to spell and or focus… lol

quote:

So many out there think he was a fraud.


I've only read enough to get a glimps, and probably wouldn’t have bothered to bring him up if that was how I felt. :)

quote:

What particularly interests me is your theory on the mud coating. I'd never envisaged it in such a light: it's fascinating! You are right that being coated in mud would take away a lot of our vanity and posturing. Everybody in the same pit! And the 'wrestling', well, it's a well-known way of exercising aggression without harming one another... something women don't do enough, since they tend not to participate in team sports and suchlike.
 

Thing is, it would be good for some, but not for all, and wouldn’t actually solve the problem.
 
I’m not a frequent, large groups kind of person, for my own reasons. I know people who display the behaviors mentioned in your OP, of both sexes and there seems to be three types. Those who don’t realize they are doing it, those who don’t care, and those who enjoy it. To me, the only difference may be in how I deal with them, other then that; their insanity stops at my door.
quote:

Thank you for this breath of fresh air.


Thank you for an interesting topic.

quote:

A verbal joust can be more brutal than a physical one; something chicks seem to excel at.


This is true, but is all dependent on how each person involved handles themselves. If someone says something that hurts because its true, its up to me to decide to change it or deal with it. If they say something that isn't true, it shouldn't bother me.
 
k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 342
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 11:50:08 AM   
Aswad


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Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Yes, as women are busy holding grudges and fighting pettily (NOT prettily) the guys get on with the program, even after they've disagreed.


Bingo. Najakcharmer asserted on the Gorean boards that women don't generally play the dominance game, and I'm vaguely inclined to agree, at least in part. There is certainly a "top dog" thing with women, too, but it seems differently arranged. Among other things, it appears more fluid and less hierarchial. But I won't pretend to understand the intricacies of female social structures and interactions. I would be tempted to guess that most females don't, either, but that would be an unsubstantiated guess that might seem disrespectful or condescending to those who don't know me.

Men do play the dominance game. I see it all the time. Most don't play it with me, but your guess is as good as mine as to why that is the case. Either way, the net result is that shit gets done in an orderly fashion. It may not be the right shit, but it does get done. We get in each other's faces, maybe even throw a few punches, and then we get on with business. Maybe we argue afterwards, too, but most likely we will grab a beer (or Strongbow Dry Cider in my case) and sit down to watch a football game (or a DVD in my case). It's not an ideal arrangement, but it would appear to have its merits, and it works.

I often hear it forwarded that women are focused on group harmony... I call bullshit... It's not group harmony I see women forwarding. Rather, I see them trying to keep things from breaking the surface or making waves. Putting a pretty face on things. Avoiding overt and open conflict. Besides... group harmony is an illusion. Even friends fall out occasionally. Feel free to tell me it's not the norm. I hope it isn't.

Anyway, neither approach is ideal... but the male approach wielded power and built empires.

To men, at least, that is a significant accomplishment; too bad it took forever for us to see that women are human, too.

quote:

Perhaps a small level of organised violence acts as a catharsis for conflict resolution, or in general, it helps defuse people's aggressive streak (we all have testosterone in our system, women and men).


Seems to work for my sister, who is more aggressive in that regard than I am...

quote:

Do you think that women have been discouraged from practicing much physical activity for the very reason that society did not want them to defuse their aggressivity?


Please be specific... when you say "society" here, do you mean "men" or "women" or both?

See, if you're talking about women, then it's a somewhat interesting paradox that can only (as I see it) be resolved by saying that this isn't where it is at. That, instead, women have an instinctual or culturally ingrained desire to maintain that order of things, and thus are reinforcing this in our culture. Which takes the aforementioned motive out of the picture, as it's probably not being considered at all.

But if you're talking about men, it comes down to suggesting that men are using it as a way to turn women on each other in order to maintain their own power. If so, then you give us too much credit, and it doesn't strike me as a typically male approach. We are, as a rule of thumb with definite exceptions, fairly direcct. Also, as a group, men are clueless as to how they can do such a thing. Some who realize it, successfully cheat on a ton of women at the same time, for instance. Again, typically male goal: more pussy, not systematic oppression of women.

Yet, therein lies an argument that holds some weight from an evolutionary angle: men are often pretty much just the crude "tireless producers of abundance" (female-coined word for a man in ancient Sumerian; talk about objectification, neh?) who are looking for beer, sports/hunting/violence, pussy and offspring. Women who don't play the mating game don't reproduce as successfully as those who do, and men tend to be absolute sluts. So it comes down to controlling male access to pussy, and trying to make sure the man stays around. How does one do that?

Well, men tend to like trophies and status symbols as much as women do, if not more so. It makes sense (cf. the Sumerian reference). So women set out to make pussies into trophies and objects of commerce. A value is assigned. This pussy is better than that pussy. And, of course, the men want to sport the best pussy they can. Drive home the idea that a woman who is discerning about who she allows access to hers is better than those sluts. Low supply, high demand. Seems obvious it has to be a thing of value, no?

Paradoxically, prostitution has always been the one way in which any woman could achieve financial independence. And contrary to popular opinion, things weren't all that primitive in ages past. The modern symbol for the heart is the shape of the seed of Silphium, whicch was used as a contraceptive, or as an abortifactant (usually in combination with others, such as Hellebore, Rue, Papaya, St. John's Wort, etc.). Amusingly enough, this historical detail is correctly portrayed in the Rome TV-series. STDs is also a thing that was manageable to the point where the risk wasn't so much greater than for a regular person in serial monogamy with occasional affairs.

But that's a threat, of course. It means many men will deposit their seed without commitment. So, clearly, those aren't prostitutes, but rather whores. Low class pussy. Undesireable. Competition. And the worst sort of competition: the kind that offers a superior product at a lower price. Never mind that taking her down will hurt all women... she just has to go.

And violent women? That's the sort of competition that is driven. Willing to take a risk. Able to take you out permanently. Low class pussy.

Now, this all may sound a bit offensive, but it's a position that some feminists have forwarded in much the same words.

quote:

Why though?


I don't know. One could speculate that Nietzsche's notions of slave morality are more suited to women... that they are usually more submissive by nature than men. But that would probably raise hackles all around, regardless of the disclaimers about "usually" and allowing all sorts of exceptions. So I'll leave you to ponder that possibility for yourself. Otherwise, I'm drawing a blank, you see.

quote:

I'm glad you observed something which is very much obvious to me. Similarily, if a married woman is cheated on by her husband, she will reserve most of her venom for the other woman, not for her husband even though he was, after all, the one who broke his promise.


Bingo. Refering to the above, though, the other woman is the competition. The usual strategy (which by virtue of evolutionary success is emphasized over time, and thus reinforced) is to demonstrate that the second woman is less desireable, while the first one is more desireable, and vice versa. And in the context of subs and slaves, this means being more servile, taking more shit, and going back on limits. Aiming to please more than the other woman does. Which the POS bastard gets to reap the benefits of.

Thus, both women keep losing, because they keep throwing good effort after bad men.

Too many women give up hunting and start trying to be the best prey instead.

I can see that strategy going all sorts of places, few of them good.

quote:

Are you talking about 'ownership of the cunt' and other apology (as in 'edification of something') for prostitution? That's worthy of a thread all of its own :-) .


It certainly is.

quote:

To be fair... the system was already in place that ensured it would take women superhuman will to overcome its restrictions.


I was fair. Evidence points at a matriarchal origin for our species. Then we got patriarchy. I'm positing that the male tendency to move on and work together may have something to do with this. Which gives us the "system that was already in place." And after that, long after that, women managed to band together with enough strength to set things right again (right in the sense of equal opportunities and rights, along with equitable treatment; goals that haven't been reached entirely, yet, but which are very much underway).

And I have a lot of respect for the women who pulled it off, and those who follow in their footsteps without simply copying men's mistakes.

quote:

They were placated by their biology; having 12, 14, 15 pregnancies in one lifetime, beginning in early adolescence, is a sure way to make a person stay away from the public sphere. Perhaps they were too busy with the ball game inside their bellies to have the energy to fight for the ball game outside of it?


Except women reined for several thousand years despite this.

Something changed at some point.

What was it?

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 343
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:06:34 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Now see that idea completely rocks.  But you rarely get people talking on the common ground that they are human.  If aliens flew down today and tried to take over the world, people would want to kick the aliens arse, take over mars and still fight each others as well for *insertwhatevereasonitmightbehere*.


I disagree. That's the fundamental reason for using aliens in a bunch of hard science fiction. It's a workaround for a fundamental flaw in humans. By providing an external group as an Other, you provide the necessary element for forming a complementary Self, a unified human identity. This is something that Nietzsche addressed, albeit not in those words. The slave morality that we can (by extrapolating from the results of the Milgram Experiment and the developmental psychology work done by Kohlberg and Gilligan) demonstrate that certainly at least 60% (and probably at least 90%) of the population subscribes to as a fundamental aspect of their identity and gestalt.

It's one of the things that significantly complicates my attempts at sorting out what I think about men like Hitler and Mao.

quote:

People like to be 'special'... it is ingrained into infants from birth.


Except they don't. They like to be valued. Perhaps even respected. But certainly not special.

quote:

You have to be a certain way, get the good grades, belong to a certain soroity or fraternity, group or the best school, because somehow, that makes you belong - but different from the masses.


A part of something... a sheep in the herd... belonging.
Not interchangeable, perhaps, just as each part of a watch is unique, but still parts... the watch is the thing.
Here is where things like deferral of responsibility, conformity and dogmatism, collectivism, socialism, communism and fascism really enter the picture.

Do you think any one of those atrocitous offenses against the nobility of the individual human spirit could have happened if it weren't the case that most people actually want to be one of the sheep that are part of the herd, rather than being the shepherd, the wolf, or the owl overlooking the field? That if they truly did want to be special and have a more fully individuated identity, they would not reject the notion that the role of society and government should be allowed to trump the individual concerns and lives in a given society?

The Chinese recognized this during Mao's ascension... The Mandate of Heaven.

It's rather deeply engrained in most people, although it finds different expression in the West than in China.

quote:

People embrace to concept of being in a 'group' and united, as long as it is exclusive.  So how do you encorage people not to want the exclusive part?


I don't. I've given up trying to make people something they are not. Each thing in its place, according to its nature.
For those who want to resolve it, my cure is simple: judge according to merit.
That's all. It's politically incorrect, and it's perfect.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 344
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:14:42 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan

Your philosophising is phenomenal.


Thank you. Far too much time, and far too much ruminating, I'm afraid.

quote:

Remove the focus on gender and people cease being a Dick/Vagina with an ego, we'll have to find another focus.


I'm working on one version of that. But it's subsumed under the heading of my new brand of theogenesist, henotheistic Christianity, so it will not be appealing to everyone. Mostly, I think it will appeal to a few Jews and Christians, a few Atheists, and a handful of old school pagans, along with some spiritually inclined people who don't mind going against the grain of the Western soul. If I can find a cool way of packaging it so that it will fly under the radar of affective thresholds, it may go somewhere, but I'm not holding my breath.

Barring that, I'd restate what I said to D&tD: judge by merit alone.

quote:

People have a tendency to want to be set aside as an example and it feeds the pseudo elitism monster.


There's not necessarily anything wrong with elitism, as long as there is some substance to it.

quote:

So how can people be trained to interact as people without the focus being on gender?


With time.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to MissMorrigan)
Profile   Post #: 345
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:16:59 PM   
laurell3


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FR:
Oddly having read 18 pages of this I'm more confused than I was before.  I don't believe any of these stereotypes tossed around here are applicable to the majority of men and women I encounter on a daily basis.  I don't believe they are true for the majority of the men and women I've seen on these forums either.  Where are these men and women you all are getting these stereotypes from?  Why would we as human beings ever approach another human being expecting them to be a stereotype or perpetuate one?

edited for spelling and grammar which I blame entirely on cold medication!

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 2/8/2008 12:24:39 PM >


_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Aswad)
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RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:20:00 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Thank you, I've not read it but it sounds interesting. 


The work you want is "Beyond Good and Evil" by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.

It can be gainfully supplemented with "On the Genealogy of Morals" and "Also sprach Zarathustra."

And unrelated, but still reccommended, is a book of his that I've not read, but which seems to touch on the things I say: "The Anti-Christ."

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 347
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:20:06 PM   
RCdc


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Special, valued, two sides of the same coin.  Or even, two edges of a 50 pence piece.
And I never understand the whole 'respect' issue, really.  I just do not get why people have both the expectation and/or the the want to be respected - or even worse? - demand to have it earnt.
 
Re- west than china - Yes it is ingrained and that has so much to do with how we behave today.  Nurture at it's worst?
 
Absolutely there are people like yourself who don't and I believe if more people did embrace the concept of judging on merit then life would be much simpler and although I don't agree with perfection, damn well close to it.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________


RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 348
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:21:31 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I'm going to come across all bratty, but I can't be mature all the time, folks (fnar, fnar). We were together, Aswy, commenting on how bitchy and vindictive people (most of the women) were about the Hilton incident.


I seem to recall something like that, yes.

quote:

Incident which, incidentally, fits exactly with the theory I was attempting to elaborate on this thread: it was a perfect example. Thank you for bringing it back up from under the cobwebs :-) .


You're cordially welcome, of course.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 349
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:23:16 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

A verbal joust can be more brutal than a physical one; something chicks seem to excel at.


Quite so. If you figure in relational violence (what the book you mentioned earlier in the thread calls alternative violence), the statistics tend to portray men as veritable pacifists in a post-apocalyptic, dog-eat-dog world. Okay, so I'm exaggerating, but you get the idea.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 350
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:24:51 PM   
mnottertail


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Oh, Lord yes!!!!

Cunts are heineously vicious at infighting.  They are pretty goddam rough in a up front fight too.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 351
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:25:42 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Why we would we as human beings ever approach another human being expecting them to be a stereotype or perpetuate one?


Beats me. I would tend to guess that the reason for this lies in taking shortcuts in navigating the hierarchy from the specific and concrete to the general and abstract. A necessary skill for humans to possess in order to comprehend language. But one that nature hasn't worked all the kinks out of yet.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 352
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:34:12 PM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Oh, Lord yes!!!!

Cunts are heineously vicious at infighting.  They are pretty goddam rough in a up front fight too.

Ron


Some interesting scars with stories Ron?


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 353
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:36:41 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Special, valued, two sides of the same coin.


Perhaps in connotation, but certainly not in denotation.

quote:

And I never understand the whole 'respect' issue, really.  I just do not get why people have both the expectation and/or the the want to be respected - or even worse? - demand to have it earnt.


I tend to go with the idea that graciousness is about me and my dignity, whereas respect is about what the other person has earned through their actions. Not sure where that is a worse angle than any other; perhaps you'd care to enlighten me?

quote:

Re- west than china - Yes it is ingrained and that has so much to do with how we behave today.  Nurture at it's worst?


I proceed from the position that while nature can make mistakes (or, at least, that there may be transitionary periods that qualify as such to the minds of men), she is not evil. And this would seem to be a fundamental aspect of our human nature, so I would posit that it is not nature at its worst, but rather simply- nature. You've probably seen me refer to it as the biological mandate. The problem isn't that people are who they are. And if it were, we'd be fucked, anyway, as people are who they are. So I tend to think the problem is that modern society fails to fully address this side of our nature, except in ways that are- overall- detrimental to us.

quote:

Absolutely there are people like yourself who don't and I believe if more people did embrace the concept of judging on merit then life would be much simpler and although I don't agree with perfection, damn well close to it.


It's conceptually perfect, not ideologically perfect; i.e. it is a pure and objective concept.

Atypically for pure and objective concepts, it is also directly applicable by humans for something resembling a good result.

Health,
al-Aswad.

P.S.: I always have reservations about the term "perfect." When I use it, it never denotes an unreserved perfection in terms of life.

Edit: Jinxed it by thinking "wtf- not a single quote messed up today?"... damage undone.


< Message edited by Aswad -- 2/8/2008 12:48:39 PM >


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 354
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 12:40:47 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

They are pretty goddam rough in a up front fight too.


No shit. I recommend chain mail.

It's classier than a vest.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 355
RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 1:31:56 PM   
DesFIP


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My mother was a feminist but I was not raised to be foolishly naive and believe that meant anything other than women should have equal rights. I don't believe all women are hateful and hurtful, nor that they are all sisters, nor that all men are enemies or brothers. I do believe human beings come in many different shapes and sizes and personalities. And that if all your friends are back stabbers, then you need some professional help in setting heatlthy boundaries and not allowing yourself to be used, as well as how to better screen for healthy friends.

If you lie down in front of a door, expect to be walked on by those going in and out.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Are women born to be bitches? - 2/8/2008 1:35:28 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you lie down in front of a door, expect to be walked on by those going in and out.



Okkkayyy  .

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 357
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