RE: Are women born to be bitches?

RE: Are women born to be bitches? (Full Version)

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kittinSol -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:36:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalista07 Perhaps, this is the crux of the reason i'm having difficulty relating to this thread...This was not my experience. I understand that - but inputs from different viewpoints are always welcome :-) .

kittinSol -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:39:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Suzykeu As for women competing with eachother more than men, i just don't think that's true. It seems to me that it's just a different way of competing; guys work to make themselves look good and women just go beyond that to make others look bad. Many of us seem to loose much time battling with one another instead of pursuing our individual goals, I completely agree.

LaTigresse -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:41:33 PM)
Ohhhhhh Toservez, never would I say I don't have issues.........I have ISSUES! As an aside, I wonder if anyone of a.......more advancing age such as myself..[:D].... would agree that these tendencies have lessened with time. That in becoming more confident and happy with yourself you find the need to snark at other women, even those you do not particularly care for.....less? That it's just sort of a "oh whatever" in your head, rather than the burning desire to go on full out attack?

RCdc -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:42:25 PM)
Men are suppose to excel in sports, do all the 'hands on' jobs. If they don't fit there, they get to immerse themselves in games and gaming. Yeah, it's seen as nerdy - but there is still admiration for nerds. Women get to diet. They get make-up to enhance their appearence, and clothing. They are 'told' they mature quicker so they grow up faster. But breasts don't always show at the same time and unlike cocks, you can't hide them away. Women have style and beauty thrust upon them. Periods are a status symbol. the.dark.

LaTigresse -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:45:46 PM)
That's what I call, one fucked up status symbol.........yeck. I will give mine away gladly!

kittinSol -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:46:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark But breasts don't always show at the same time and unlike cocks, you can't hide them away. Women have style and beauty thrust upon them. Periods are a status symbol. the.dark. Do you think women are defined by their biology more than by society's expectations of them? As for the makeup and all that, ABSOLUTELY. I'm a total victim of it myself, although I never paid much attention to those things until I was about 25. Now that I'm getting older, I FEAR the signs of ageing, whilst my brother and other youngish males don't even think about it. They got me, in the end.

Sweetbluerose -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:47:08 PM)
As someone who has spent a lifetime with the canine species, I hate it when people choose to describe human characteristics as being a bitch or bitchy or bitching. Canine females, the only true bitches in my opinion, are hardwired to be great mothers, and most are great pack members, whether of a canine pack or of a human pack. Dogs raised in good environments are loyal, happy, eager to please, and altogether wonderful creatures. While I also admire women, and think that many also characterise those attributes, it isn't the good in women that is describe as bitchy or being a bitch but rather characteristics that dog bitches don't really have. Personally calling me a bitch, is taken by me as a compliment. Smiles

beargonewild -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:50:44 PM)
~FR~ I wonder how much of the "bitch" attitude is indirectly caused by how we men quite often place females up on a pedestal? I'm thinking of how fathers will quite often calling their daughters, from a very early age, princess, my little angel, or make comments that she is going to be a heart breaker when she grows up. As adults, men thusly perpetuate this by wanting a woman who is beautiful, glamorous, etc. In a way, I can see this being a factor in unconsciously setting up a sense of competition amongst women.

subtee -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:52:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Ohhhhhh Toservez, never would I say I don't have issues.........I have ISSUES! As an aside, I wonder if anyone of a.......more advancing age such as myself..[:D].... would agree that these tendencies have lessened with time. That in becoming more confident and happy with yourself you find the need to snark at other women, even those you do not particularly care for.....less? That it's just sort of a "oh whatever" in your head, rather than the burning desire to go on full out attack? Indeed! It's a realization that Dr. Seuss was right (well, let's face it, in ALL things he was right), and the emotion might as well be "Sneetchiness" as bitchiness, because the issues regarding female to female jealousy are as real, ultimately, as who has "stars upon thars." Your gorgeousness doesn't make me feel bitchy, it makes me want to jump on you.

RCdc -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:52:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kittinSol Do you think women are defined by their biology more than by society's expectations of them? As for the makeup and all that, ABSOLUTELY. I'm a total victim of it myself, although I never paid much attention to those things until I was about 25. Now that I'm getting older, I FEAR the signs of ageing, whilst my brother and other youngish males don't even think about it. They got me, in the end. I believe there is a lack of proper teaching of biology and that makes it seem like its defined by biology, but reality is - it's a lack of knowledge that causes the expectations to high. As for makeup, I find that at (nearly) 38, makeup is less important to me now, but then I tend to keep being told I don't look my age, so I have that advantage. So the question then is - am I ok with wearing no make up because of me, or am I influenced by being told I look ok without it? Couldn't answer that myself. Mind, I am a glitter whore.[:D] the.dark.

kittinSol -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:55:09 PM)
Those terms totally squick me when I hear them - Freud addressed the issue at length.

subtee -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 12:58:00 PM)
quote: As someone who has spent a lifetime with the canine species, I hate it when people choose to describe human characteristics as being a bitch or bitchy or bitching. Does it also bother you when promiscuous men are referred to as "dogs?"

kittinSol -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 1:01:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sweetbluerose As someone who has spent a lifetime with the canine species, I hate it when people choose to describe human characteristics as being a bitch or bitchy or bitching. Note that I introduced the subject by referring to the title of the thread as 'deliberately offensive'. I didn't choose that one unwittingly. I suppose I'm asking why this specific kind of behaviour (female on female gossip, cussing behind backs, taking pleasure in other's misfortunes, etc. etc. etc.) is a female characteristic.

Lashra -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 1:01:56 PM)
No. Some women feel the need to compete for a man because society has made them feel this way. Aren't we all taught as young girls to go after the rich man? I know my Mother did her best to drive that through my head. This leads to competition and heavy competition at that. This is why women are so jealous and so possessive of a man, they are afraid someone might steal their meal ticket. Because back in the old days a woman wasn't allowed to work or own property, she was nothing but chattel so having a man was important otherwise you ended up out on the street beggingor in a nunnery. Who wants to be a homeless beggar? No one. So no we aren't born to be bitches, society has a way of teaching us to be that way. With some of us that idea takes root in others it does not. I chose to ignore my Mothers "teachings" and to do my own thing which has helped me to lead a much happier and fulfilling life. ~Lashra

Sweetbluerose -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 1:03:05 PM)
Subtee, Actually yes it does.

BitchGoddessD -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 1:03:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sweetbluerose As someone who has spent a lifetime with the canine species, I hate it when people choose to describe human characteristics as being a bitch or bitchy or bitching. Canine females, the only true bitches in my opinion, are hardwired to be great mothers, and most are great pack members, whether of a canine pack or of a human pack. Dogs raised in good environments are loyal, happy, eager to please, and altogether wonderful creatures. While I also admire women, and think that many also characterise those attributes, it isn't the good in women that is describe as bitchy or being a bitch but rather characteristics that dog bitches don't really have. Personally calling me a bitch, is taken by me as a compliment. Smiles My experience is from the dog world too. Our family dog (aka - the bitch) was a wonderful animal who raised two sets of pups. The term bitch has been part of my vocabulary ever since. I do not see being called a bitch at all negative. I embrass the power of the word and use it to my advantage. [;)]

kittinSol -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 1:06:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra So no we aren't born to be bitches, society has a way of teaching us to be that way. With some of us that idea takes root in others it does not. (...) ~Lashra What she said.

subtee -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 1:18:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra No. Some women feel the need to compete for a man because society has made them feel this way. Aren't we all taught as young girls to go after the rich man? I know my Mother did her best to drive that through my head. This leads to competition and heavy competition at that. This is why women are so jealous and so possessive of a man, they are afraid someone might steal their meal ticket. Because back in the old days a woman wasn't allowed to work or own property, she was nothing but chattel so having a man was important otherwise you ended up out on the street beggingor in a nunnery. Who wants to be a homeless beggar? No one. So no we aren't born to be bitches, society has a way of teaching us to be that way. With some of us that idea takes root in others it does not. I chose to ignore my Mothers "teachings" and to do my own thing which has helped me to lead a much happier and fulfilling life. ~Lashra [Emphasis added] This wasn't my experience at all...I've never thought of a man as a meal ticket. I've never been a jealous person either, so I imagine the two correlate. The screen saver on my computer reads, "Why do I have to get married? I didn't do anything wrong."

Smith117 -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 1:19:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Suzykeu i've rarely felt competitive against other women, but it's probably because women are what i looked for in a signifigant other. i don't have to compete with the 'object of my desire.' As for women competing with eachother more than men, i just don't think that's true. It seems to me that it's just a different way of competing; guys work to make themselves look good and women just go beyond that to make others look bad. I think this makes as good an insertion point for me as I'm going to get.... It comes down to a fundamental flaw in how woomen relate to one another, I believe. Take two average, ordinary guys and watch how they relate to each other. They mock each other, call each other girly men, whatever. It's a male-bonding thing. If we hug then we look at each other and say "fag" or if we compliment, it's always backhanded "wow man, good job....for a schmuck like you." It's how we do. We know there is no ill will intended in the backhanded commpliments. It's just how men relate to each other. If you take two women in that same situation, they will do the same things, but behind each other's backs. And because of the way women are emotionally, they take negativity to heart more than men do. It's a whole "men from mars, women from venus" thing. If one guy tells another "hey man....lookin' like a nice spare tire there...why don't you get your ass in the gym?" Then it's funny, the guys rib each other for awhile....but overall, no hard feelings are given or taken. Try that with two women "Damn, girlie, kinda saggin' in the rear there, ain't ya? You know they have gyms for that." Suddenly she's on the defense, her world is crushed. She thinks you think she's a fatass and suddenly gets angry. It's the same concept of how a guy can say to his woman "damn I'm out of shape, I need to hit the gym" and then later, she decides to get him a weight bench for his birthday and he's floored that she listened to him. Have a woman say to her man "damn I need to get in shape, I should look into a gym." God forbid that man buy her an aerobic machine for HER birthday. Suddenly she feels he's gasp agreeing with her that she's fat! And then LOOKOUT! All hell WILL break loose. Guys relating to guys always have the advantage over women relating to women. Sure it seems confrontational....it sounds like we're tearing each other down. But we're not. We are able to sift through the negative statements and pull out the compliments. Women sift through postitive remarks and find and react to the negative, whether there was any negative intent or not.

kittinSol -> RE: Are women born to be bitches? (2/5/2008 1:22:29 PM)
Here is an example of female to female aggression: quote: Although more than 16 years have passed, Rhodes Scholar Simmons hasn't forgotten how she felt when Abby told the other girls in third grade not to play with her, nor has she stopped thinking about her own role in giving Noa the silent treatment. Simmons examines how such "alternative aggression" where girls use their relationship with the victim as a weapon flourishes and its harmful effects. Through interviews with more than 300 girls in 10 schools (in two urban areas and a small town), as well as 50 women who experienced alternative aggression when they were young, Simmons offers a detailed portrait of girls' bullying. Citing the work of Carol Gilligan and Lyn Mikel Brown, she shows the toll that alternative aggression can take on girls' self-esteem. For Simmons, the restraints that society imposes to prevent girls from venting feelings of competition, jealousy and anger is largely to blame for this type of bullying. It forces girls to turn their lives into "a perverse game of Twister," where their only outlets for expressing negative feelings are covert looks, turned backs and whispers. Since the events at Columbine, some schools have taken steps to curb relational aggression. For those that haven't, Simmons makes an impassioned plea that no form of bullying be permitted. Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc. http://www.amazon.com/Odd-Girl-Out-Culture-Aggression/dp/0156027348/ref=cm_lmf_tit_1

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