quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs


I come to the summary, that a slave/submissive who says they are not getting enough play time can be responded to by saying--are they slave or are they playmates?
 
That said, I think the real trap though; is not being very honest that after the honeymoon stage is over--its not filled with a lot of play and more about the management of home, work, relationship, bills--not just the 'play' part. 
 
The other trap is -- looking at a slave a male or female.  Slave is neutral and, how I treat slaves should not have any exceptions--especially concerning sexual genital placement.  Drill Sergeant is a Drill Sergeant, that is how I look at the role of Dominant and submission/slave.
 
However, I am a firm beliver of making time.  IF I am not feeding the needs of my slaves; its my responsibility to do so. Some feed through hamburgers and some feed through a nice flogging session and any assortment of reaffirmation and feeling themselves where they need that space and place to replentish themselves and envelope in their enslavement.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 

I agree.


I would suggest to him a female Top would be more suitable for his needs. While a give and take is essential for a relationship to work; I, however, prefer a male whose primary motive is to give, i.e., to serve and submit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

I think the question means different things depending on how play time is construed. If play time is construed as a physical session where the bottom is played, it means one thing. If play time is construed as whatever interaction or rituals make the relationship a D/s relationship, it means something different.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackGoddessNY

I dont approve when My slaves ask for "more playtime"...I treat everyone accordinly and no two ppl are the same. So with a taste of My ways put out there, My slaves should not be selfish... and should not question why time has been extended longer in between play...

a Mistress so wonderful will never be with just one slave... slave should trust that I accepted him/her to be mine to do as I please Whenever I please. Trust and patience is the key to a healthy relationship

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet



.... sound like you are just about money and don't really care about the deeper connection and beautiful dynamics of a meaningful D/s relationship.  D/s, submission, and slavery should be about lots of beautiful things (like love, honor, devotion, trust, growth), not just about the Benjamins.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackGoddessNY

I dont approve when My slaves ask for "more playtime"...I treat everyone accordinly and no two ppl are the same. So with a taste of My ways put out there, My slaves should not be selfish... and should not question why time has been extended longer in between play...

a Mistress so wonderful will never be with just one slave... slave should trust that I accepted him/her to be mine to do as I please Whenever I please. Trust and patience is the key to a healthy relationship

That's true to an extent.  Slaves should not be selfish because their Mistress's wants and needs should come first, but even slaves are human and have wants and needs that need to be met, too.

Because I am Mistress's one and only slave, does that make Her less wonderful because She chooses to own just one slave that just happens to not only satisfy all Her wants and needs, but exceeds Her expectations, too?  I find that statement a bit insulting to the dommes out here who believe in owning one, and only one, slave.

After reading your profile, I see you place a large emphasis on your search for "generous" slaves.  Just curious, but does the amount of playtime you give someone depend on how much the guy is willing to spend on you?  If a really wealthy guy was spending ungodly amounts of money on you, would you let him get away with asking for more playtime?  Would you "put out" more playtime for him if he had a big enough bank account?  Your profile makes you sound like you are just about money and don't really care about the deeper connection and beautiful dynamics of a meaningful D/s relationship.  D/s, submission, and slavery should be about lots of beautiful things (like love, honor, devotion, trust, growth), not just about the Benjamins.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

He/she is the sub and you are the domme. Why is he/she telling you what he/she wants?


Diane

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

He/she is the sub and you are the domme. Why is he/she telling you what he/she wants?


Diane

Hehe, of course, this is the no-nonsense, no bullshit answer. Fortunately in my primary relationship we've never had this problem, but I had a few relationships in the past where the sub did want/expect/need a lot more femdom attention than I was able to provide, and ultimately it ended the relationship.  Before it did, though, the sub would say, "I'm sorry, I was being too demanding, I'll stop, you are right, I was being pushy" -- and promise to change, but it didn't happen. And it's not so much the issue of "well you were incompatible obviously and you need to compromise" - it's the manner in which the submissive men presented their needs.  Usually by hinting, being passive aggressive, or trying to earn punishment, and generally if I am too tired and not able to focus that kind of energy, any amount of hinting or whining or bad behavior isn't going to make me want to "punish" my boyfriend. 

The other issue is with submissives when you have more than one partner, and they are irritated that you are playing with "Frank" instead of him.  Why is it that you didn't want to spank him, but you want to go over to his house and play with him?  This is, I'm sure, something poly people have to deal with.   Most of the time it had nothing to do with the submissive I was not playing with, it's just that the other one had something about his style that I was craving.

The biggest thing I learned through the ups and downs of relationships with regards to a submissive's expectations for "play" was that I had to tell men right up front that I don't manufacture my desire. It's there or it isn't. I can't  "fake it" and while I am deeply devoted enough to happily fuck like rabbits even if I am not "horny",  I can't pick up a whip and "fake" domination if I am not in the mood - it rubs me the wrong way.  But the good side of that story is that my urges ALWAYS come.  If they aren't there "today" they might be tomorrow, and for sure, they will be there in a few days or a week at the most, as long as he's not nagging or whining about it (in which case, I lose desire for HIM because he's a whining little bitch that annoys me).  And it's SO much better to wait until I have the mindset to focus, the energy to do it the way I need and the lust that powers it all.  The subs that still could not take that for an answer, and wanted to know when, and how could they "speed up" the process, and maybe if we just started I would get into it..well, it's a compatibility issue. 

It took me a long time to figure out how my urges worked, what motivates them, and how to help a submissive understand that so we could see eye to eye on it.  Most of the time it was fine, but a few submissives thought that dominance was a switch to be flipped on and off. Others simply had really unrealistic expectations and wanted that kind of attention all the time, and I knew no femdom could provide that.

As always....communication is key!

Akasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

..what does the femdom do?

If your submissive came to you and said that the frequency and/or intensity of your "playtime" is not enough for him, what do you do?  What do you do if he lets you know he wants to "play" tonight, and you are not up for it - and are not up for it a few days later, when he asks again? Do you do it anyway? 
What is the proper way for a submissive to ask for more play?  Or should a submissive not ask for more?

Were you ever in a situation where a submissive smothered you with too many requests?

Akasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs


I come to the summary, that a slave/submissive who says they are not getting enough play time can be responded to by saying--are they slave or are they playmates?
 
That said, I think the real trap though; is not being very honest that after the honeymoon stage is over--its not filled with a lot of play and more about the management of home, work, relationship, bills--not just the 'play' part. 
 
The other trap is -- looking at a slave a male or female.  Slave is neutral and, how I treat slaves should not have any exceptions--especially concerning sexual genital placement.  Drill Sergeant is a Drill Sergeant, that is how I look at the role of Dominant and submission/slave.
 
However, I am a firm beliver of making time.  IF I am not feeding the needs of my slaves; its my responsibility to do so. Some feed through hamburgers and some feed through a nice flogging session and any assortment of reaffirmation and feeling themselves where they need that space and place to replentish themselves and envelope in their enslavement.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 

I agree.


I would suggest to him a female Top would be more suitable for his needs. While a give and take is essential for a relationship to work; I, however, prefer a male whose primary motive is to give, i.e., to serve and submit.

As usual, I agree with Ms.Dolly!
I would also add a Service Top at that or a Professional Domina {who
specializes in fullfilling her submissive's desires}

leaves singing "Do Me Baby", lol