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Seducing Vanilla Men - 3/7/2008 6:06:52 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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Loving the threads about how to "spot" a submissive men. I've been known to do a little sub-hunting in my day. But what do you do when you get all the right signals and it turns out he's just flirting, and really has no submissive experience or urges per se (I mean kinky - sexually - bondage and S&M -- not necessarily service stuff).

Have you ever seduced a vanilla man, and been the one to "show him the ropes"? Has it been a success or a failure? Do you end the courting/flirting if you get a sense he's not experienced, or do you see about introducing him?

A lot of femdoms state that they stick to looking in kinky circles to find potential partners because that avoids the guessing game. Good approach. But let's face it - we come across lots of men in daily lives - friends, through work (not co-workers but friends of them perhaps), college classes, social events, sporting events....flirtation happens. What if the chemistry is clicking, the flirting is happening, and you realize you are attracted? You don't just back off because you are not sure he is kinky, right...?

Akasha

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RE: Seducing Vanilla Men - 3/7/2008 9:38:21 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
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Nope, never have shown anyone the ropes or initiated them into something they had never wanted on their own. I've helped and encourage people to blossom, but they already knew what they were kinky, and the things they were feeling were already D/S--totally different ball of wax.

I've found that even "coming out" can be awkward with vanilla male friends, if there is an assumption that I find them attractive for domination purposes. "Vanilla" is not really D/S neutral, in my society--vanilla is actually male dominant. Female domination, although it might be accepted as a brief sexual experiment or as a fantasy starring Angelina Jolie, is not something that most vanilla men can accept. I get the impression that it scares them or makes them profoundly uncomfortable, and I am not looking to make people feel that way.

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(in reply to AAkasha)

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