BlackPhx
Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006 Status: offline
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I want to thank everyone who has offered support for me. I will do my best not to just withdraw and to post at least a few times each day. This pain is not a rare one, many women and men, people of all ages bear it daily, with more being added to our ranks on nearly an hourly basis. Sambamanslilgirl nearly joined these ranks recently and LadyJane did when she lost her sub/S.O to a violent crime. The pain of losing any loved one to a violent crime is devastating, no matter what their age or relationship to you. When it is your child, well for me it was as if someone had reached in and yanked out part of my womb and heart at the same time. I could feel the hollow where he had once laid inside me, and my heart aches for him daily and it is the only time in my life that I can remember screaming. They heard me on the 2nd floor of the police station. Most days I can look beyond it, fool myself, but this time of year it hits me, with his favorite holidays, his birthday and the anniversaries (Favorite Holiday, missing and murdered, found, Memorial, Birthday in that order) all of it. Lets just say from Oct 31 through Nov 20th is hell. Frankly I pray this is a pain that will one day be vanquished, and that no one will ever have to die needlessly for anothers, greed, hate or obsession. Somehow I suspect that will never be, at least not in my lifetime. Lives are precious things, never let ANYONE you love walk out a door without a hug and a kiss goodbye. Never let anger rob you of what may unexpectedly be the last moments and memories you have of someone. Live everyday as if it is your last and enjoy it to it's fullest, experience it, because you never, ever, know............ poenkitten
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