tsatske
Posts: 1753
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
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I don't believe that monogamous people are less secure - or more or less anything else - than I am or anyone else is. I honestly believe that poly is a hard wired sexual preference in me, just like being sub and being bi. I was 18 years old when i married my first husband. we were vanilla and i still thought i was strait. i looked at women, sure, and had fantasies and crushes, but had no role model for me to even consider that i might not be strait. even more so with being mono - i did even have language to even think of anything else. It's like Helen Keller said - without language, you can not even form thought.
and yet, even though all that is true - at 18 years old, before i married the first time, i told my dear first husband that i could not care less who he fucked, as long as he never lied to me, and he got home for me to serve him dinner. and i meant it.
Ladybug, i am so sorry that you had such an experience. be patient with yourself, you will, indeed, heal. I have seen relationships struggle when one partner tries to convince the other partner to 'become' poly. i don't think you can 'become' poly anymore than you can 'become' gay. You are what you are.
If you do fall in love with a poly person, and decide to make the go of the relationship, the lovingmore website has some great articles on making 'mixed' relationships work, but it is, imo, a hard road.
_____________________________
“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote
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RE: Women who are involved in polyamory are... - 
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