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Hiskajirah -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/11/2008 5:29:53 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Karynn
Tal again ya'll,
I thought it might be fun to recollect the positive moments before the pain, if you can recall one. I have a series of CDs my father found for me that are suggestive therapy, where the people talk in calm and very pleasant voice tones, and lead my brain on journies away from the pain. In the midst of one of them, the two voices say, "Remember a time when you were not in pain." then a voice echoes, "Or remember a time when you were in less pain than you feel you are now."
I was struck by several of you recounting your activity level at some time in the past, and the difficulty that we face trying to find ways to cope with that severely hindered freedom now. My case is not so different. Though some of my illness resulted from birth defects and kidney disease from the very beginning, there were many very well managed years of life that I was more in control than out of control. Those are the years that my brain returns to when I'm in that hypnotic therapy.
In 1996, I had my 11th surgery as an adult. I had spent the better part of my children's youth healing from various surgical procedures. Slowly but surely, after all the reconstruction and wiggling things around inside of me or just cutting them out, they left my body alone long enough to give it time to begin healing, and I was in my 20s, still full of youthful energy myself, and ready and chomping at the bit to join life again. I did so. It was my very best year of adult life, my favorite reflective year, the year we have the most photographs of me taken, and a year all of us look fondly back to with full memories. Even my younger son though only 4-5 at the time can remember that year because of all the significant things we did together as a family.
1996 was the year I was a soccer coach 3 nights a week and 1 game a weekend, then ref'd at least 1 other game, then sat through 1 more game that my sons played in on Saturdays. It was the year we were Pre-school coordinators for a very large church program, and hosted the 11 o'clock hour with 75 3 and 4 year olds every Sunday. It was the year I had a membership to a really nice Y-type gym and was in shape, the healthiest weight of my entire life, and fit. It was the year things just seemed to flow smoothly. We had such a great time with our boys, with our peers, active in private M/s lifestyle group, and the list seems endless. It was a very good year.
When I need one of those nudges, a pick-me-up to help cheer me up, I pull out the photo albums from that year. I flip through the pictures, and remember the events, the holiday at the beach, the soccer teams in spring and fall, and all the people who's lives touched ours. And when I lay in the quiet of the night, working hard to get comfortable enough to relax, even if I can't sleep officially, and I've got one of those CD's playing in my ears to encourage calmness, somewhere in that year is my favorite place to visit mentally.
I don't know if any of you have coping programs that work consistently for you. We're at a place in life where I've been willing to try various things. I tried herbs as you may remember, and they had way too much ick for way too little comfort. I've tried CDs with hypnotic therapy. I've tried sleeping on the floor and upright in a la-z-boy recliner, and found neither improved sleep. So when I do find something that helps, I use it often. And I focus on the good times. They always bring a smile.
What moments are your favorite, the ones that remind you of a time when you did smile more often, or could cope better, or had life by the tail?
K
Greetings Mistress
Recollecting positive moments before the pain-- is an excellent idea and wonderful advice. You said "What moments are your favorite, the ones that remind you of a time when you did smile more often, or could cope better, or had life by the tail?" -- My answer would have to be all 3 at the same time.
I have some coping stratagies, I've been in Pain Management for 4 years. But for me because I live with a PL8 and a 7 is a good day even though it's still very tough. My next question to the board is going to be just that...Coping stratagies so that everyone will have the opportunity to learn from one another by the stratagies others use. I really just try to laugh as much as I can and most of all laugh it all off. Make jokes about box in my right butt cheek, try to lighten the reality. And it's okay when others make fun back. It doesn't offend me. I recall when we went to the bank one day and my young son tells the teller almost loudly, " my mommy has a box in her butt". I almost died in laughter, I had to hold it back and the teller (and then the others that heard) were like, huh? My Master shushed his son immediately after, but it had already been said. I blushed and moved on.
My best thoughts and I recall them often is driving the kids everywhere, with the radio loud, all of us singing. Karaoke on a foot stool at home, the year I was in a walking boot, when I was first allowed to start trying to weight bear, my little son only 4 at the time pushed me outside in the wheelchair, handed me my crutches and said dominantly, commanding, "momma stand, now!" and I did and it hurt and he was my inspiration, "momma just one more step, just one more step. And he did this with me everyday until I was off the crutches and walking in that walking boot on my own even though it was only a few steps at a time. About 3 months later, I was walking again. I think back on that often and even today he pushes my limits, or tries to. He just turned 11.
Thank you for the inspirational reply Mistress
Sincerely,
~twinkle
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