Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (Full Version)

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Hiskajirah -> Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/9/2008 2:08:03 AM)

I'd like to thank Master Malkinius for allowing me to start this thread. Thank you Master!



Greetings Masters
Greetings Mistresses
Greetings girls
Greetings others

It is my hope that this thread offers Goreans with Disabilities/Depression and/or other illnesses a comfort zone to vent, offer advice, listen to advice, share information, guide and support one another, be a shoulder, offer a shoulder, and most of all learn from one another.

I do not expect anyone to put in a public forum anything they do not want the masses to know about.

I don't expect anyone to answer a question they aren't comfortable with, but remember if you open a subject/topic/question in general or to another, you may be leaving yourselves open to the possibility of being asked one back or called on statement. This still does not mean you have to answer.

Lets all try to have respect for one another and be non judgemental.

Not all disabilities are the same.

Everyone hurts, suffers, survives and copes at different levels.

This thread is meant to be a discussion and support area, not a who's more sick or who's more capable of working etc type place to bash each other.

If any moderating needs to occur at anytime and the board Mods are unavailable or just choose to stay out of it, I would look to Master Malkinius (if he would please choose to do so) to fix it as it won't be me at anytime, this is not my place.

My place is to welcome all of you to this thread.

And so I welcome you... ~smiles

Sincerely,
~twinkle




Maahsatti -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/9/2008 4:38:35 AM)

quote:

Lets all try to have respect for one another and be non judgemental.


Morning twinkle,

I think what you are trying to do here is a very good thing.
Having said that.
I do not feel that your assuming, from the get go, that there will be or possibly be a lack of respect and that there may be preconcieved judgements on others, is not a good way to start off this thread. I can not speak for other Free, only for myself and I can tell you, that did not and does not sit well with me.
You know me, I would say, pretty darn well, twinkle and you know I would not nit pick at you pettily. This however struck a nerve with me.
However, I look forward to watching what you started here, hopefully grow into something extremely positive.
If you need or want my help with anything, just lemme know. If I can and it is within my power to do, you know I am all to happy to oblidge you.

serve and be well,
Mistress Maah



Hiskajirah -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/9/2008 5:07:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maahsatti

quote:

Lets all try to have respect for one another and be non judgemental.


Morning twinkle,

I think what you are trying to do here is a very good thing.
Having said that.
I do not feel that your assuming, from the get go, that there will be or possibly be a lack of respect and that there may be preconcieved judgements on others, is not a good way to start off this thread. I can not speak for other Free, only for myself and I can tell you, that did not and does not sit well with me.
You know me, I would say, pretty darn well, twinkle and you know I would not nit pick at you pettily. This however struck a nerve with me.
However, I look forward to watching what you started here, hopefully grow into something extremely positive.
If you need or want my help with anything, just lemme know. If I can and it is within my power to do, you know I am all to happy to oblidge you.

serve and be well,
Mistress Maah



quote:

Lets all try to have respect for one another and be non judgemental.


Greetings Masters
Greetings Mistresses
Greetings slaves
Greetings others

Greetings Mistress

Mistress you are right and thank you for correcting me, I am grateful that you did or I would not have been given this opportunity to change it.

I beg forgiveness of both free and property in that I did exactly what I ask others not to do. I asked that we all try to have respect for one another and be non judgemental and while doing so my words made the assumption that others would or might infact lack respect and be judgemental and this was not my intention. I errored and make no excuses for faltering.

I hope that I did not offend anyone in doing so, though if I have, I am sincerely sorry.

Sincerely and with respect,
~twinkle



Maahsatti -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/9/2008 5:30:22 AM)

Hi there again twinkle,

  Everyone makes mistakes and everyone at one time or another, says something, meaning one thing and having it come out to show as something completely opposite.

Personally, I do not define a person on the mistakes they make, but in how they correct and handle those mistakes.Once they have realized they infact made one.
well done dear.

serve and be well,
Mistress Maah



Hiskajirah -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/9/2008 5:46:50 AM)

Thank you, Mistress


Respectfully,
~twinkle



ghitaPVH -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/9/2008 7:56:09 AM)

Greetings everyone, heya twinkle...great idea, or at least I think it is, so I figured Id start! Ive been using the slaves thread for this very purpose for the past few months, so I wont go into detail about everything since most of you know it already and have been wonderfully supportive. But as for an overview...I dont actually have a "disability" or "chronic" pain....more just a current (hopefully temporary) medical issue that comes with constant pain. And I hate it..not the pain, I can deal with the pain...I hate the fact that everyone around me thinks they need to treat me with kid gloves.I mean, yes I hurt...and Im sure there are alot of times I dont do a good enough job of keeping that pain off my face, but personally I still feel like I ought to be getting up doing all the things I used to, and when I see my Sir and other people not even say anything to me about things not being done anymore, they just automatically walk in and start cleaning and taking care of all the things I know I should have managed to get done that day...ugh its so frikking aggravating, it makes me so mad at myself. I also seem to get mad at everyone else alot now, I hurt so badly that I get snappy and irritable, and sometimes it just kinda blurts out when I know I ought to keep my dang mouth shut. And then I get even angrier cause I just yelled at my Sir and then I get even angrier at him because he just tells me to go lay down instead of yelling back at me and then it just ends up in this big frikkin circle and yea...ok...so I dont always think rationally when it comes to all this...never admitted to being a rational person....

anyway, venting and talking about all this over the past few months with yall on here has really helped, so I kind of think a thread like this is a good idea.

ghita~



Hiskajirah -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/9/2008 8:14:15 AM)

Greetings ghita

I may need to go back to the slaves thread and read up on your medical issue. I read the thread pretty often, but I forget easily as my memory is one of my issues. It seems like you have a very good Sir that takes care of you well. Though I understand that when pain becomes overwhelming anger will arise. It becomes a coping mechanism if only for a moment. Pain causes anger, depression, mood swings, and a feeling of functioning as we'd like to. It can take away our self worth as in the belief we aren't doing as we should be. Cleaning, cooking, taking proper care of our man. I truly understand this. There are even times we think we are dealing with the pain, even when we're not and then there can be other times we're actually coping, but no one would ever know it. It goes both ways.

I have to say that I am glad your Sir and others are helping you with the home and relieving you of the added burden that would cause extra strain on you at this time.

Sending you pain free hugs,
~twinkle



Hiskajirah -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/9/2008 11:20:31 AM)

Greetings Free
Greetings property

If you have a disability, depression, illness or even a fear or anxiety relating to the Gorean lifestyle, do you hide it from your peers? If so why, please? And if not why, please?

I would be grateful for any responses

Thank you,
~twinkle



aeleberaNB -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/9/2008 12:06:10 PM)

Greetings twinkle:

quote:

If you have a disability, depression, illness or even a fear or anxiety relating to the Gorean lifestyle, do you hide it from your peers?
i have a rare genetic disorder that has left me with no natural lenses in my eyes and instead i have lens implants sewn in, i am more suspetible to heart attacks and strokes than the general public, i am more suspetible to blood clots than the general public at least according to the doctors.

i at first tried not to tell Master or anyone else around me about it because i don't know much about it and what i do learn from the doctors only leaves me with more questions so i gave up asking and although i know that's not the right approach to this i can't stand being given medical jargon instead of regular every day answers because as i said it leaves me with more questions at the end of the day.

when i did tell Master about it, He of course had questions and i gave Him all the information i could about it but all that did was leave Him with more questions that i didn't have any answers to, but suffice to say He was happy that i had told Him what i could about it.

the disorder i am talking about is: homocystinuria and while i don't know much about it, i can tell you that i have no natural lenses, my metabolism is much slower than the average janes, am more suseptible to heart attacks, strokes and blood clots than the average jane and this is all that i have learned from the doctor.

how do i cope with having this disorder? i take vitamin B6, Folic Acid and a powder called cystadane. The cystadane, B6 and folic acid all help to lower my cystine levels which helps prevent blood clots, heart attacks, strokes and helps to get my metabolism moving a little faster.

quote:

If so why, please?
as i said above i don't like telling people about it because i know only what i have already posted and when i do tell them, they look at me like i'm crazy and ask "huh?" "what is that?" and my answer is all i can tell you is and then i tell them what i posted above, only to be asked again what it is.

i find it embarassing enough to say that i have type 2 diabetes because i tend to get the "oh you poor thing," attitude and i'm not looking to be pitied but instead am telling them so that if i drop to the floor all of a sudden from either high or low blood sugar, they can tell the paramedics/emt's that i have type 2 diabetes.

my boss knows that i have type 2 diabetes and has been kind enough to make sure i can get my breaks as close to on time as is possible but when one person is late getting back from their break, it throws the rest of the break list off so i may any where from 10-20 minutes late getting my break.

he also knows that i have my glucose tablets so that if i do feel my blood sugar dropping i can at least pop one of them into my mouth and hopefully finish my shift with no problems.

i also have arthritis in both my legs, my lower back and while there are days the pain is so intense i can barely manage to keep from screaming out in pain, i cope with it  by taking glucosamine and chondroitin which helps for the most part and am grateful that i was told about it.

i told Master because after having told Him about the complicated medical disorder, i knew i had to tell Him about not being able to kneel for long periods of time due to it hurting my knees and i did so because i knew it was wrong to hide things from Him.  i also knew that if He did not know that He could not and would not be able to suggest other positions that would be more comfortable when kneeling by or before Him.

may you always have love, light, peace and joy
aeleberaNB

PS: excellent idea twinkle .. thank you ;)



Malkinius -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/9/2008 12:35:52 PM)

greetings twinkle....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hiskajirah

Greetings Free
Greetings property

If you have a disability, depression, illness or even a fear or anxiety relating to the Gorean lifestyle, do you hide it from your peers? If so why, please? And if not why, please?

I would be grateful for any responses

Thank you,
~twinkle


In many cases, such as mine, I don't hide it, I just don't mention it as it is not important to what I say or much of what I do. I can't run a marathon but I can scuba dive. I no longer want to try skydiving but I have spent the last three decades putting a sword blade where I want it to go. Except for the swordwork, those things don't matter in teaching people what it means to live as a Gorean or even in training a slave. (I have yet to have a slave who wants to do any of those things.) It would simply be a distraction that I don't need.

The reverse goes for the slaves I have worked with as well. Almost all of them have had some sort of chronic physical problem and a few with some mental/psychological ones as well. Most of their problems have not affected their ability to train or serve as a slave very much. Where it does, I work around and with it.

Among Goreans, there does seem to be a high percentage of people with some sort of physical problem. This is, from my experience, more common among the slaves than the free. There are also the problems that come with age. Many have not started down this path in their lives until after their families have grown and left the home.

So...what it all comes down to is that it doesn't get mentioned until it has to because usually it doesn't matter. Perhaps online chat venues are largely responsible for that? You can be anything and do anything online even when you can not hope to do it offline.

be well....

Malkinius


Malkinius




selenaMD -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/9/2008 12:43:58 PM)

Greetings twinkle,

Thank you for an excellent topic *smiles*.  My illness falls under the mental illness category, and I think I may have mentioned it in a thread a while back.  I suffer from agoraphobia, which is basically a fear of anything outside of the familiar (the direct translation from the Greek origins is a fear of the marketplace).  I was disgnosed with it back in 2002 after being raped by a group of men.  At that point in time, I couldn't leave my home, most often my bedroom, other than for the basics (I didn't go as far as needing a chamber pot *chuckles*).  It has now been 6 years of intensive work and most people I meet wouldn't have a clue that I suffer from any phobia at all.  I no longer take medication on a regular basis, though I still will pop an anti anxiety pill when I am going into a situation I know will trigger an anxiety attack, such as going to the movie theatre or going out into a busy public place where I need to stay for more than about 3 hours.  I view my medication (and limited use of it) as a way to have a "normal" life.  Without the times that I do take it, my life would became limited, and I would miss out on things that I enjoy.  I have no issue discussing my illness with people, but it isn't one I generally throw out for public consumption because there are people out there who I don't feel really *need* to know about it.  When my Master and I began our relationship I was very honest and open about it upfront.  I felt it was only fair to him, because if my limitations (which were slightly more back then) were things he didn't feel he wanted in a long term relationship, then I didn't want to waste his time (or mine really) in seeing where things could go "if only...".  I also tell those who become friends, because I feel it is only fair for them to know that when I turn down invitations to certain situations it has nothing to do with them.  When I was first diagnosed I told more people than I tell now, because I was convinced that every could see the look of stark terror on my face (though apparently I always looked just perfectly normal) when I was having an attack.  I still sometimes have that worry that there is this big flashing neon sign following me around during an anxiety attack that reads "agoraphobe!!" *chuckles*.

selena{MD}
devoted property of Master Mark



kajjirus -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/10/2008 4:48:28 AM)

Greetings, Masters,
Greetings, Mistresses,
Greetings slaves and others,

Thank you twinkle for posting about this topic. This one also has some mild disabilities which are generally related to anxiety and such. They are ones which one has struggled with on his own forever, since males (and Men, when jidar was a Man, not a slave) are not supposed to show such.

He wonders if his cravings as kajirus are related to some disability?

With greatest respect of course,

jidar



Terrah -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/10/2008 8:25:33 AM)

Tal Everyone,

Oh through the years I have been challenged many dozens of times, I blame it on my lifestyle really. I take chances with my health, my body, my mind and soul too for that matter. I have a entire list of complaints of mental and physicial pain, along with my spiritual pain, but I do try not to let anything get me too down. I know it takes a great deal of strength for anyone to overcome hard trials of pain and suffering, but they do make us stronger if we choose to look at it that way.

When I was very small, and I don't remember this much at all, but my brother who later died, was swinging me in the hammock and I flew out of it and hit my head on the side of the house on the cement bricks. Well of course my mom was concerned and watched me closely, but didn't take me to the hospital, or the doctor for that matter. She always had aversions for them, and passed that trait on to me. I guess that was my first really bad injury, I later had to be rushed to the hospital I did have a concussion, and stayed there for several days, but it was only after she saw I was not responding to anything did she finally think to take me. Or it was a budget thing, not sure which, but it was not the last of my childhood traumas by any means. They ended up taking me to the doctor and hospital several more times, I was the one who had all the injuries to endure. I broke my arm twice, once while it was in the cast from the first time, I hurt my knee very badly several times, eventually had what they call Osgood slaughter which is the muscles pulling together to form a large knot on the knee. I didn't get surgery for it, but wore a cast for a couple months. I also fell off my bike and broke my front teeth out and broke my cheekbone too. My neighbor and I were playing and she threw a rock to get the ball out of the tree and it hit me in the middle of my nose right between the eyes, never a better shot made I'll tell ya and that nearly killed me. I fell out of some trees and generally hurt myself, broke some fingers from goofing off, broke my toes from kicking my car when I got older and I had a flat before an important interview. Which I had to have surgery on four times to get it to heal right in the arch of my foot. Yes, yes I continued on through the years to bang up this and that, hurt the same bad knee again when I was barrel racing my horse, that was fun, this time I was in a cast for nearly 3 months and couldn't ride my horse for six months. I didn't stop there however, I also have had several bad car accidents, by the way, I was not driving but for one time when a guy hit me and rolled my car, giving me my sixth whiplashed neck. I shoulda been a stunt driver or something, I think it would have been safer for me. lol  I had surgery on my shoulder rebuilding it after I tore the rotator cuff when I joined a health club and did too much with it. Right after that I had surgery on my Achilles Tendon and had it rebuilt too. I know about pain enough to know I had to change my life some in order to have a body at my current age. LOL

Jumping ahead I was diagnosed with diabetes two 12 or so years ago, I now have to take a shot for it as well every night. I hate those shots, I can barely get my head around to do them, more or less think about doing it. Every night I take my insulin out of the refrigerator and prepare the needle etc. Then I wait for it to get to room temperature and then tell myself I can do this once more, it's only for a few seconds. I would rather have the bad knee back thank you, or any broken arm. Some how I get through it and do the deed, I do want to live, I really do. Without this shot I know my life would only get worse, perhaps some of the things that diabetes brings on would happen to me, perhaps I just don't need to find out either. Ever since my pneumonia I have had to take more than double my meds for the sugar, now I also take blood pressure meds, something I have never had to deal with before. I also have asthma which this time of year drives me nuts with the coughing and sneezing due to allergies. I put up with that simply because I cannot afford to do anything about it.

Oh yes, I have applied for everything I find to apply for, from drug companies to state or federal assistance. I do get some small help from the county now due to my illness I recently had. That's only for six months, and thank God it is for that long. We can barely afford for me to go to the doctor more or less pay the high prices for drugs and or equipment the doctor says I need now. But, with time everything changes and I may find a way to get the help I need to continue my meds. Thank goodness for Walmart and their $4 prescriptions!! what a life saver huh? Well until you need something that is not on that list that is, then I am stuck calling all over to find out who's got it the cheapest. No worries, there's only two places locally to call.. lol and a others that are much further away. Hunting a value is not easy, but well worth it if you are saving money.

At least Tavares got his raise finally. That shall help us out greatly. Well up until the gas prices are so high one has to take a loan out to get a tankful, which I do see coming to us down the line shortly. No matter who is in the White House I think the gas prices will rise considerably throughout the coming year and beyond. Bush made sure he was not going to run outta money.

I look at my diseases as challenges not diseases. I don't think I could get through a day at all if I did that. I think of them as little as possible honestly, and I live my life as I can day to day. I have recovered spiritually to some degree, my mental is good most of the time, and my body works if I don't overdue it too awful much, as for my heart, Tavares fills it every single night with his patience while I too yell and scream from what I have not done or what I wanted to do and couldn't, feeling a failure to him for not being able to keep up as I once did. He gently reminds me I am still recovering and things take time, he sends me to bed with a smile and a kiss telling me to rest so I can be better soon. Gotta love a guy like that ya know? So in that I am very rich and that is what drives me on each day knowing I really am blessed very much for having him in my life and knowing he is always there to help me along life's path where ever it takes us.

I wish you all best of health and happiness,

Terrah



Karynn -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/10/2008 12:25:03 PM)

Tal everyone,

The question: Do you hide your disability from others? (paraphrased from twinkle's original question)

I do. I learned some bad habits from my mother, and grandmother too. I think it's a southern (USA) woman's thing, more cultural than anything, which says you don't air your dirty laundry where others can see. That includes letting the world know outside your door that anything could ever be wrong. No strangers should ever know there's financial or physical malady and by heavens never let anyone know if there is something not quite right mentally. That's the worst of all of them.

Now when I have a difficult day, I work through it, much of the time completely in my own head. I make sure not to show much in my expression, and am carefully guarded around anyone, even my family. No matter the cost to me personally or internally, no matter how difficult it is at times to do so, I keep it to myself the best I can. What I've found however is that the more progressive the pain becomes, the less able I am to keep it completely under wraps.

I don't know why it is culturally proper etiquette for southern women to behave like this, nor do I think adopting the habits of my predecessors helps anything, yet I still do it, and continue to try long after it's even plausible to keep up the appearances. I think maybe learning when to share what to share might be to my body's advantage, so I wouldn't put so much energy into keeping it quiet and undisplayed, but for now, I still deal with my long time "training" so to speak, on how to behave like a Lady.

My best,
K



ghitaPVH -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/10/2008 1:12:29 PM)

oh my I compleatly agree its a southern woman thing! I just had to drag my grandmother off to the ER after she spent a week telling everyone she was fine and turns out she had just about bled to death before letting anyone know....

anyway, in my usually everyday life, Im bad about hiding whats going on with me too..I try really hard..not neccesarrily to "hide" it, but to just kind of shove it under the rug like everythings fine. Sir tells everyone who walks into the house that im not feeling well...and the first thing out of my mouth is "no, Im fine, really"....if someone asks how things are going, Hes the type to actually tell them...while Im the type to smooth everyhitng over....learned it from my mom, and my grandma...Sir says all three of us are the most stubborn women he's ever met.

now here, online....its been wonderful to have a place where I dont feel I have to pretend everything is hunky dory.....not really sure why I feel so much more comfortable blabbing to yall....its probably a bad habit and a crutch I shouldnt use so often...but...shrugs.....



Hiskajirah -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/10/2008 3:55:35 PM)

Greetings Free
Greetings Property

After reading the posts, a sense of happiness flows through me in that so many have thanked me for starting this thread, but instead I thank you. I find that all of us share a common denominator, we don't carry around a blow horn and advertise our conditions, but we reveal as necessary. Or we do it in a way that gets a message out without actually telling it of being ourselves, maybe.

I have to say that I feel closer to each of you now even if we haven't met or been acquaintances or friends online.  My Master leaves for work at 5:30pm in the evening and returns home at 6:30am. He sleeps in the day time and I suppose my get a way is online interaction as I have very little offline interaction with others at all. Very few and far between. The exception being our oldest daughter who had us come live with her while we purchased a new home. (Signed the last of the papers today and should get the keys on Tuesday) The reason we came here is so that she could help care for me and our 11 year old son. She has helped me raise him and it really brings tears to my eyes that while she was a wild teen for a few years, she is a wonderful daughter and our grandson, wouldn't trade him for anything. Our middle daughter is inlisting in the Army.

I was injured in 2001, I tore the tendens off the bones in my right foot and to try to make a 7 year story short, It was screwed back together, removed 6 months later, I did 8.5 months of Physical Therapy, arthritis began to set in within months, I've been diagnosed with everything from Osteo, Achilles Tendenitis to in 2003 Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome/Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. I have CRPS Type 2 Causalgia which means "with nerve damage". The full definition is much much longer. This illness crawls through ones body and eventually will break down vital organs. In the first 2 years after being hurt, I have a positive outlook. Very positive. People break bones everyday, right? It's going to heal and lifes going to go on. This is what I kept telling myself. A little over a year ago I was also diagnosed with Degenerative Disk Disease and approx 6 or so months ago with Diabetes. Along with all the physical diagnosis.

I just finished another series of 3 Lumbar Sympathetic Nerve Blocks done in the surgery center each time 1 week apart. They insert a needle to the spine and inject a die and med to try and numb the nerves which then brings the pain down. I'm currently being set  up for another series of 4. I have a permanent Spinal Cord Stimulator implant on my spine a single lead/wire and 4 electrodes with a base unit (internal charging unit) in my right butt cheek. (If some one really checked out my booty, it's apparent something is there as it protrudes outward, or perhaps it could be a chunk of cellulite, hehe, had to) I can can control my pain with a hand held unit. The illness has moved to my left foot and my right mid arm. So I'm losing function, sometimes typing is hard.

A couple of months ago it wouldn't have been too apparent to others in a store etc that I was disabled, My gait is crooked and I have a limp, but I try to take that limp and walk with a hm.. lets just say I try to make it sexy, so no one knows. I won't use my canes, I hate them. It makes me have to realize things, and while I do, I also am in denial.

I'm in a wheelchair now. I use to love to dance. The freedom in dancing is the same feeling I feel in slavery. You're just so free.
I will push myself past the pain and try to dance even now. I can't but for a few minutes and I pay for it dearly in that my bones and muscles have deteriorated so much, my right calf is atrophic.

Sometimes, I come out of the doctor's office and when my Master says what did they say, I can't bring my eyes up to tell him.

But I do and then I see the pain in his eyes and it's hurts me more. We're both sick, he has 2 stents in his heart and had a heart attack at the age of 38.

I live on several medications a day. From high doses of anti seizure, to depression, pain meds and more. I've been diagnosed with several mental conditions secondary to the physical chronic pain.

I'm gonna stop babbling on the rest right now... smiles

Online we never exactly know who each other are, do we? 

Master Malkinius said "Perhaps online chat venues are largely responsible for that? You can be anything and do anything online even when you can not hope to do it offline."  -  You are right Master. Infact I have been invited to online chatrooms to dance and while the man who invited me meant well............       I can't bring myself to do it.

I have been lucky to have a support system from a few people online. And my heart goes out to them for caring. They know who they are. smiles.

I've also had the advantage of being a strong support system to others and while my heart and sould is Gor, my passion is serving the world the best way I know how. If I can't serve one way, I'm able to another.

Thank you all for listening to me

Respectfully,
~twinkle

P.S - ghita- I'm glad for the time we've spent in Cmail. I'm happy to know you.
To everyone- If you ever need a shoulder or to vent, I am one of the most "Loyal" slaves anyone could ever know. I know you don't know me, so that might have to be tested, but you would find that.... I would pass that test with a high "A". smiles warmly



amphoraHMTC -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/10/2008 5:54:51 PM)

 
Greetings To all:

This one feels she is nothing but disorders and disabilities, Master
thankfully just brushed most of them aside as if they are nothing.
He did/does not ignore the effect just assured her they were not a
big issue with him. She has her disorders in her profile, and in her
journal notes.

amphora has a mixture of physical and mental ones plus a lot of
childhood phobias to get over. Like you aelebera she has blood
problems, and has had a stroke from them actually 3 of them, 2 were
TIA -mini strokes-. amphora is diagnosed with Bi Polar II, anxiety
disorder, ADD/ADHD, OCD, and dyslexia. Due to the stroke has memory
loss, cognitive processing problems, balance problems, and weakness
on her left side,

As with all of us has the aging problems, joints ache, arthritis,
hearing is not as good, slower to move, terrible eyesight. The
things that bother this girl the most is her cognitive processing
problems as no one can see that disorder. amphora can hear you wrong
or read what was written totally wrong. The Dr. said it is like the
mind is a huge warehouse of file cabinets, her brain will develop a
glitch and go to the wrong cabinet to get the meaning of a word it
hears or to find a word to put in and so nothing makes sense.
Eventually the files are in such disarray little makes sense. And
like a dyslexia person this one cannot see the mistake. Add to it
the dyslexia, it is not fun to proof read her writing. She is sure
Master thinks at times --what the heck did she mean by that-. Her
checking account is a disaster, she will add for subtracting and
never know she did it until someone else checks it.

She could go on and on but won't bore you. It is enough that Master
understands her problems and is helping her to deal with them better
along with changing her into a decent kajira. It is a long hard
process. But hopefully it will get accomplished in time. In the past
year has been able to go from taking 13 different pills down to only
taking 4 now. Her bi polar is no longer controlling her she controls
it about 90% of the time. Still a work in progress though, still a
diamond in the rough. She too does not declare her disabilities
except to those in contact with her personally. But she also has
never hid it from a master or anyone who needed to know; she always
asked did you read her whole profile and the journal? It tells a lot
about her things you really need to know. If still interested after
reading it, then we can talk.

Too add to her physical problems, she has back issues due to son
pushing her hip bone out of kilter while carrying him and knocking
some disc out of sync. So she too has a hard time standing and
kneeling. Master allows her to wiggle without censure to relieve the
pressure. He is very acceptable in some areas but demanding in
others. Which she is glad for needs to be held to a higher demand.
It is nothing he knows we cannot reach though.

Most of the kajira on here seem to all share some kind of disability
maybe that is why we can understand each other so much. Why we feel
close to those we have yet to meet, or to some anyway. This girl is
also very wordy. Loves to write, Master encourages her to do so. She
is still new to the alternative life style, especially the Gorean
side. Found it more fulfilling than the other side (BDSM) as amphora
thinks of it being now. The vanilla leaves her wanting more, she
feel incomplete when thinking about being in it. amphora's family
refuses to acknowledge her choice, when around them she has to keep
the slave hidden. This place is a haven for slaves like her.
Somewhere we can be ourselves in all ways even with our disorders
and disabilities. She wishes to thank all for understanding so much.

Submitted to and approved by Master Malkinius

Amphora{HMTC}



Hiskajirah -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/10/2008 6:28:52 PM)

Greetings Amphora

I'm glad you were able to share this. I too have Bipolar 2 disorder. Or atleast have been diagnosed with it. Hm, about 4 years ago now. The words I use for this is "I have Bipolar, Bipolar doesn't have me". I wish I could say the same for the chronic pain. Actually I do say it, it just doesn't work. I was on 2,500mgs of Depakote a day and 400mgs of Wellbutrin and up to 300mgs of Trazadone. I quit them all cold turkey a bit over 2 years ago.

I wonder... (I'm about to go read your profile and journal) if having a Gorean Master helps you much much more than a non Gorean? I find this to be true for me. If I didn't have these men in my life...(and free women) I don't know how I would get by. I have short term memory loss also and turn to my Master for everything. Today when we went to sign the papers for our new home the notory woman must a thought I was a nut. laughs. I had to keep waiting for my Master to show me where to sign again. But he knows me so well, I rarely have to ask him for confirmation, he's already 1 step ahead of me. People with Bipolar 2 are very smart and creative. I'm sure your Master will continue to bring out the best in you. smiles warmly

Sincerely,
~twinkle



MontrealPhoenix -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/10/2008 7:54:39 PM)

Greetings All and all,
 
For as long as i can remember, i've had chronic pain in my knees, made worse by 12 years of dance classes. For the past 15 years or so i've also had pain in my hip, due to a slight tear in one of the tendons (repaired almost 2 weeks ago) and severe tendonitis.
 
There is hardly an aspect not affected by this. Some days the pain is so bad i can hardly walk, for instance today i had to take 2 Dilaudid pills just to be able to sit up. It's so frustrating because i'm used to being really active and can only manage a fraction of what i'm used to doing.
 
People are told on a "need to know basis, and i tend to act fine even when i'm not because i hate to be coddled. So...yeah, i know a bit about chronic pain.
 
live well,
 
Phoenix



Hiskajirah -> RE: Goreans with Disabilities- Support, Advice, Info, Venting & More! (4/10/2008 8:46:42 PM)

Greetings Phoenix

I understand your pain, truly, all of it. While what started our pain may be different, the chronic pain in general is the same and understsood. I vaguely remember my days of being active. Was so very active, always out and about with our children, dancing with our daughters, going to the lake, driving, shopping, etc. And I understand your frustration as well. It hurts me to know of others in pain. And while sometimes pain seperates us...

....it also brings us together. smiles

Sending pain free hugs your way,
~twinkle



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