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Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 9:48:49 AM   
Nosathro


Posts: 1476
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
Status: offline 		Tal Something has got me to thinking and I want to put this out to All, Gorean, Master, slave, NonGorean etc. We all have to live in the Vanilla world, our jobs, family etc are just as much a part of us as Gor is to me. When a Master or Mistress takes the submission of a slave what are the limits. Yes I train my slave, but does that mean control her. As Master do I look at her mail, her email, tell her who she may talk to and see and who she can't? Do I control her thoughts? her speech? Is every minute of her life, no matter what aspect of it mine to tell her what to do? I would be very interested in Your response.

I Wish You Well

Nosathro
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 10:08:26 AM   
ownedjulia


Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nosathro

Tal Something has got me to thinking and I want to put this out to All, Gorean, Master, slave, NonGorean etc. We all have to live in the Vanilla world, our jobs, family etc are just as much a part of us as Gor is to me. When a Master or Mistress takes the submission of a slave what are the limits. Yes I train my slave, but does that mean control her. As Master do I look at her mail, her email, tell her who she may talk to and see and who she can't? Do I control her thoughts? her speech? Is every minute of her life, no matter what aspect of it mine to tell her what to do? I would be very interested in Your response.

I Wish You Well

Nosathro


I am slave but i am not Gorean and this is how it works with me:

My Master owns me, pure and simple. he sets the rules, the scope and everything else.
I work roughtly 9am to 6pm in the week, Master knows this and he knows that because of what I do at work I must be 'vanilla'. When i leave work and get home the M/s relationship is back and i am there to serve him.

For example, if i wish to meet up with work friends after work i would need his permission to do so (often a simple text message is enough)

All money that i earn goes into his bank account and he has control of it.

As you can see, even though i am vanilla at work (or least appear that way to them!) there is still a strict framework i work within.



_____________________________

~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

(in reply to Nosathro)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 10:46:26 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nosathro

Tal Something has got me to thinking and I want to put this out to All, Gorean, Master, slave, NonGorean etc. We all have to live in the Vanilla world, our jobs, family etc are just as much a part of us as Gor is to me. When a Master or Mistress takes the submission of a slave what are the limits. Yes I train my slave, but does that mean control her. As Master do I look at her mail, her email, tell her who she may talk to and see and who she can't? Do I control her thoughts? her speech? Is every minute of her life, no matter what aspect of it mine to tell her what to do? I would be very interested in Your response.

I Wish You Well

Nosathro


i'm not Gorean nor am i a slave but even as a sub,if i am in a D/s relationship,i would expect Master to be able to TRUST me even though He would have access to my email passwords etc.,should He ever feel the need to look.
In the work environment it may have to be different,if one had to maintain confidentiality of consumers or clients. The vanilla rules of the workplace would have to come into the equation.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to Nosathro)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 10:52:02 AM   
Delvin


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		We love to micro-manage. Some of Us tend to do alot more then others. For me personally, its the feeling of ballance between having someone I am responsible for and giving that person a set direction for which I enjoy life.

I control what needs to be controlled, and give away small portions of that control as my slave grows and learns what is needed to make my house a pleasant and warm one. I do not see it as "complete" control nor do I see it as giving my slave any control, simply choosing NOT to micro-manage what has been learned.

Email ? Actually starshine reads mine all the time while Im at work, though never responds :) Trust is built through failed tests, and in her past she has had her trust tested from others, so in this, I feel no reason to stop her from reading my email. I have nothing to hide or a secret agenda, and this, though might be considered nothing, is in fact a very large item for my slave. Do I read hers ? Sure if she is sitting there and reading it.

Eventually this will become a non-issue for starshine and her trust is built up a little more and she will feel even that much more secure in my home.

Off to micro-manage something :)

D

(in reply to ownedjulia)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 10:58:56 AM   
edana


Posts: 594
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings,

My answer is going to sound a lot like julia's.

My Master owns every aspect of my life, he is who I function for. Every module of my day is in service to him.

So in that respect he controls it all. Because I have someone to serve in my day, i do everything with more care, and concern, for it is all service.

Does he read my mail?

He opens the bills, and pays them. my pay i earn for him goes into his account and i only see what he gives me to take care of the house, or if i have begged for something specific. (Yesterday I got the neatest microwave!)

I am not allowed to open bills, I can open personal letters or any thing like that.

Does he read my email?

He reads my cm email, He used to not allow me to read it until he had approved it. mentally i just needed that tight control in my life. Now, he allows me to read and respond as i see fit. So many things that used to be harmful to me, are not anymore.

I am mentally, and emotionally a more healthy girl.

If i wish to go out with friends, or happyhour. I need permission. I need to actually get permission though. So i can't just text message and then go. I have to get the "OK".

Master keeps me in tight bonds, this is what i begged for though. The tighter he holds me the more i feel my slave belly. I am fortunate he enjoys keeping me this way.

< Message edited by edana -- 10/8/2005 11:00:50 AM >

_____________________________

In service,

edana

"Discipline turns talent into ability"

(in reply to Nosathro)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 11:03:49 AM   
ownedjulia


Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

If i wish to go out with friends, or happyhour. I need permission. I need to actually get permission though. So i can't just text message and then go. I have to get the "OK".


Same here - if he is busy with work or does not reply then i can't go. simple as that.

he has full access to my email and he can read my personal mail as well but i have no access to his although more often than not he shows me anyway.



_____________________________

~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

(in reply to edana)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 11:09:17 AM   
edana


Posts: 594
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Actually starshine reads mine all the time while Im at work, though never responds :) Trust is built through failed tests, and in her past she has had her trust tested from others, so in this, I feel no reason to stop her from reading my email. I have nothing to hide or a secret agenda, and this, though might be considered nothing, is in fact a very large item for my slave


Greetings,

i had to smile at this... my Master also allows me to read his email. It, for me is also "a very large item" It is about realizing that he has no secret agenda. For many women, men with secret agendas is all we have known.

and like you stated, one day I won't feel that need. I am so grateful my master allows me to 'know' comfort. (I hope this makes sense)

< Message edited by edana -- 10/8/2005 11:15:40 AM >

_____________________________

In service,

edana

"Discipline turns talent into ability"

(in reply to Delvin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 12:25:57 PM   
lisaSea


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/27/2005
Status: offline 		Greetings Masters, Mistresses and slaves..

Master Nosathro,

There is no part of my life that is "off limits" to Master. It all stems from what he desires, my clothing, finances, manner of speech, even personal mail or who I am allowed to talk with. As far as emails, mine are always open to him and there are times he will call me from work to look at his, though it never really interests me, lol

Master is different from many who post here, I think, in that he didn't want a girl he had to spend alot of time monitoring. We are both older, keeping life simple is critical at this stage, lol Everything I do is begged for, with the exception of jobs he assigns me.

On the matter of him having a hidden agenda, that relates to trust, something I had in him prior to begging the collar *smiles* I cannot go to him and beg to see what he is storing on his computer, yet he can and often does, openly view what I have on mine. I think, that is as it should be.

I hope this answers some of your questions Master, wishing you the brightest of days.

lisa{Sea's}






_____________________________

I prefer to think of it as aged to perfection, rather then just plain getting older.

http://www.geocities.com/house_of_sea

(in reply to Nosathro)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 1:58:57 PM   
edana


Posts: 594
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline
quote:

On the matter of him having a hidden agenda, that relates to trust, something I had in him prior to begging the collar *smiles* I cannot go to him and beg to see what he is storing on his computer, yet he can and often does, openly view what I have on mine. I think, that is as it should be.


I recall you mentioning once that you had quite the "leave it to Beaver" upbringing, I am not sure if this was the exact analogy you used, but i think it is close. It's wonderful that you have no desire to be beaten, or any trust issues lingering in your heart. I envy you your perfect childhood/young adulthood.

That is not really the norm in society today. For girls who are new to collar, who had alot of unlearning to do. the process of becoming the perfect slave is not instant. Your statement sort of makes it look like those of us who are still doing that "chain dance" are somehow wrong.

my "shoulds" belong to my master.


< Message edited by edana -- 10/8/2005 2:06:00 PM >

_____________________________

In service,

edana

"Discipline turns talent into ability"

(in reply to lisaSea)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 2:32:34 PM   
lisaSea


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/27/2005
Status: offline 		edana,

Never in my wildest dreams did I intend for it to come across that "anyone" was wrong. When I speak of things, they are personal and I use myself as examples, not to state others are incorrect. I detest this when others do it, claiming there is only one way to live this life, so it really floored me when you thought my words were doing the same.

Yes, I trust my owner, I would be silly to have begged the collar of a man I didn't, yes?
THAT was my meaning. I cannot speak for you or anyone else or their upbringing...but please don't assume that I had it easy either. Having parents that closely resembled Ozzie and Harriet, didn't give me any edges when surrendering to a man...in some regards it made it harder.

Again, there are things I have not shared with this forum in too many details regarding trusting men. Lets just say I have made some bad choices. That, however, doesn't hold water with Master, I had to trust him with all my heart, before I could beg the collar...I had to, BECAUSE of my past issues with abusive men. So, no, I don't worry about anything that he might be doing behind my back, now is not the time for that. Remember, I am older then dirt, just because I say my parents were a little...shall we say, Norman Rockwellish, doesn't mean that everyone I have met in life shared their viewpoint on relationships.

I can't stress enough, I have typed it often, admitting freely that how I view things will be slightly off. *smiles*. I hope that my words are never taken as me trying to come across as "perfect slave"... because hun, that is not the case. I think it interesting that you felt having loving, caring parents are not the "norm" in society.

I don't recall saying that this was a bed of roses, nor easy, for anyone and for goodness sake I know I never said I was perfect! *winks*.

lisa{Sea's}



_____________________________

I prefer to think of it as aged to perfection, rather then just plain getting older.

http://www.geocities.com/house_of_sea

(in reply to edana)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 2:47:37 PM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

On the matter of him having a hidden agenda, that relates to trust, something I had in him prior to begging the collar *smiles* I cannot go to him and beg to see what he is storing on his computer, yet he can and often does, openly view what I have on mine. I think, that is as it should be.



Greetings..~smiles~

Reading that snipit I don't get the impression she felt that others needing these comfort or buffer zones for trust issues were wrong or bad. It is easy for me to just tack on "as it should be for us". It makes everything alot easier.

Master mentioned some of the past in regards to trust issue's but they were not trust issue's per-say of another partner cheating etc. but more in the sense of person's saying yes I am this, and will allow you to be the person you have longed for..only to get together finally and then everything that was before that point just seemed to disappear into a maze of reason's why now all of a sudden "living as I needed to" just wasn't possible..yet offerring no real valid reason.

The email aspect of it stems solely from helping me with a normal and usually more female emotion that is a killer..jealousy..and this is more so being worked with, and ongoing because Master wishes to add to his home. This was something I knew about long before begged for his collar, something that I openly expressed that I had trouble with and begged his help to deal with as I also wanted the same eventually, and dearly hate that emotion.

Will ever go away?..probably not..Master would worry about me if it did. With his help am I understanding more of why he wants more slaves about? Absolutely..and in a over-all general sense working with this emotion has greatly helped free me of alot of the negativity it creates, and I am much happier as a result. So the reading of his email is a tool to help me with that area. If this was not a area we wished to have in our lives..I doubt i'd read his email even with his permission to do so.

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

(in reply to edana)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 3:01:54 PM   
Belladonna82


Posts: 171
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Greetings Master Nosathro

Master(SirSix72) controls all aspects of this slaves life.i am a nurse(lpn) as well as a student(working on my rn and Psychology degreee) but Master still controls even that.Master wished for a educated slave..there for Master sent me off to school.Master keeps up with my studies.Oh course Master gave me a cell which is used for me to contact Him if school plans change or ask what i am able to go have for lunch.Master controls everything!Master and i have 2 children so we do keep all punishment and words under control in their presence,but even when the kids are around i must do my chores.....ask for permission to do what needs to be done.i am a proactive slave...meaning i have a idea what Master will say before i ask so if the question is...not needing to be vocalized at the moment....i do what Master has trained me to do...think on my toes while still honoring Him.Master picks out what i am to wear,eat etc.Master and my lifestyle is always a active one....we just choose our words wisely when in presence of others....THANK GOODNESS FOR CELLS LOL...but none the less....It is possible to live the Gorean lifestyle.....the only diffrence is our clothing ,cause even some slaves worked in the books(coin slaves,pega slaves,display slaves,etc)the money just was controled by the Owner.

A slaves life in this reality can be quite simular to the books...lol just lay off the slave scarves at the PTA meetings!

_____________________________

Blessed be!

(in reply to lisaSea)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 3:35:06 PM   
krys


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: edana
I recall you mentioning once that you had quite the "leave it to Beaver" upbringing, I am not sure if this was the exact analogy you used, but i think it is close. It's wonderful that you have no desire to be beaten, or any trust issues lingering in your heart. I envy you your perfect childhood/young adulthood.

That is not really the norm in society today. For girls who are new to collar, who had alot of unlearning to do. the process of becoming the perfect slave is not instant. Your statement sort of makes it look like those of us who are still doing that "chain dance" are somehow wrong.

my "shoulds" belong to my master.


Believe it or not edana, sometimes the extreme control under which you live makes some of us with less micromanagement feel like we have not submitted enough. For example, my life is very different from yours, and from many of the other girls here. I own my home, Master's name is not on it. We have separate bank accounts and he has nothing to do with mine. I do not refer to him as Master in front of my child.

When I was first exposed to the Boards, it took me awhile to stop thinking that because Master is very laid back I was somehow less a kajira. I would feel very uncomfortable around other kajira because I felt that I did not belong. And sometimes I would get very upset.

It took awhile, but I don't do that anymore. Because I learned that, while someone else's life may be different than mine, that is because we are all individuals, and none of us are the "perfect slave" or ever will be. And there's nothing wrong with that.

_____________________________

Krys

(in reply to edana)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 4:06:59 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: krys

When I was first exposed to the Boards, it took me awhile to stop thinking that because Master is very laid back I was somehow less a kajira. I would feel very uncomfortable around other kajira because I felt that I did not belong. And sometimes I would get very upset.

It took awhile, but I don't do that anymore. Because I learned that, while someone else's life may be different than mine, that is because we are all individuals, and none of us are the "perfect slave" or ever will be. And there's nothing wrong with that.


Thank you krys trik,

You have stated far better than I have been able to state this point. In reality though it doesn't matter if some dont recognise some as Giorean, all that means is less Christmas cards and that those who dont see us as Gorean are most definately not our peers.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to krys)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 9:32:38 PM   
nenakajira


Posts: 221
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		I think my answer will end up sounding a whole lot like all the other answers in some ways, but here we go....

Everything about my life belongs to my Master. From the money I make.. to the friendships Im allowed.. to conversations I have... everything is open and available to him.

I do work outside of the home and sometimes I work extremely odd and long hours but such is the nature of my career for now. The money I make goes directly into his hands and from that point I can beg for what I want.. and sometimes I even get it. :)

He has the passwords to all of my e-mails though he rarely reads any except for the collarme one. He reads my IRC logs when I go on to chat with my friends. Of course, I also have his passwords incase something is needed though I cannot go into his stuff without permission.

He makes all my medical decisions, he goes to doctors appointments with me when he wishes to. Nothing is private.

If I want to go out with friends I have to ask permission and if he doesn't like the person I'm talking to or the influence they have on me he can forbid me from spending time with them. All in all.. he's normally right.

In the end, I suppose, a Master has as much or as little control as he wishes to have. There is no right answer.. just what is right "for you" :)

Have a good day
nena{R}

(in reply to Nosathro)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/8/2005 11:07:16 PM   
Webmaster60


Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Yes I train my slave, but does that mean control her. As Master do I look at her mail, her email, tell her who she may talk to and see and who she can't? Do I control her thoughts? her speech? Is every minute of her life, no matter what aspect of it mine to tell her what to do? I would be very interested in Your response.


For me, there are two dynamics involved here. One, how much control does the slave NEED? and two, how much control do I feel I have to have? Excercising that control is to me, not so important is having it.
Many slaves "need" total control, not so much as to keep them in line, but for them to know and FEEL their Masters ownership OF them. How much control is necessary, depends on the slave. How much does she need to maintain her "owned" mindset. Would I necessarily NEED to read her email? no. If I need to, I don't need her. But would I have that access to be able to excercise that right? of course. There are NO boundaries, no lines, no "off limits" places. ALL of who and what she is, belongs to me. Does she need money (Just to have) no. She would have some emergency money, and some "purse" money to buy things within her feeding plan, but just to indescriminately spend? no.
Things like what to wear, what and when to eat, when to rise, when to sleep, her excercise routine.. all of these things fall to ownership, and it is, an absolute.

Master Michael

_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to Nosathro)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Master vs. Control - 10/9/2005 3:23:19 AM   
LGslave


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Master Nosathro
this girl is a TPE slave and as such her Master has control of everything in her life but that does not mean that Master has to be there 24/7 of course W/we all live in the real world and have responsibilities but where Masters control comes in is in house ,

Master controls everything about slave of course he has access to my emails he is my owner. he has a right not that he reads all of them and not that he has time to either simply he has that choice being Master.
its got nothing to do with trust its about me being his property he has rights over me he was granted them by me when i took collar..

after that he was in control of what slave does and how she does it.
now that does not mean my Master micromanages me he taught me in the first three weeks of being with him what he wanted from me, and how he wanted his house kept, i simply abide by that and serve .
he will pick me up if he sees me failing on anything but mostly Master is simply there . and slave is very conscious of his presence..

when he has to go away of course slave is given some power to make choices and decisions that need to be made for general upkeeping of Masters house but on Masters return a simple ritual used to welcome Master is the handing back of any power given her ..

so i guess ownership means a different aspect of control to each and every Master some slaves work outside the home .

when i worked outside the home before collar i lived with Master because i was being trained by Master and he required me to be there and as i sought to be his slave he needed to be able to instill certain things into girl to train her in his ways.

now i would come home and walk in and throw things down and walk off and make a coffee and speak to Master like he was an office buddy Master did not like this at all and would take hold of me grab my things give them to me and walk me to the door, his door and say try again.. sometimes i would say oh get out of my face , i will do all that soon enough i need coffee right now and a shower .. well it caused some chaos i can tell you Master is Master always and he never is not Master.

whilst i had a problem with getting rid of vanilla world at the door .. because Master expected not to see me till after showered and changed and then to present myself for service ..

so i guess as i said its upto each Master how he controls his house and how he decides what controls will be best suited to him and his ..
the way my Master does things may be very strict in comparrision to O/others but i needed a Master who was strict and rigid in someways and who would control all so Master matched my need ..


(in reply to ownedjulia)
Profile   Post #: 17
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