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Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 7:52:51 AM

lisaSea

Posts: 340
Joined: 8/27/2005
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Greetings Masters, Mistresses and slaves..

And now for something completely different...

I was told that I was too sensative the other day...in that I get embarassed when praised. Not just the simple "good girl", but when I hear Master or other men discussing something I have done that they find pleasing...my cheeks burn and I look for a hole to crawl into.

Was wondering, if any others felt this way? Of course I live to see him pleased, but when he states it to another...or I hear Master telling a man that I excel in **insert something here**...my first thought is finding somewhere to hide, lol I'm sure at that point my cheeks are glowing brighter then Rudolphs nose.

I would be interested to learn if this was a "slave" trait...or just me. Seeing him happy and well pleased is my goal, so I'm not sure why it embarasses me to hear him say it to another.

There ya go...another deep, insightful look into my inner self...spooky huh?

Best of wishes to the free, lots of bells wished for the slaves...

lisa{Sea's}
(cross posted to another forum)

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http://www.geocities.com/house_of_sea

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 8:04:37 AM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
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Greetings..~smiles~

Am thinking here this is not a "slave" trait as I have always had trouble handling compliments without trying to find that very same hole for as long as I can remember..lol
Though strives and lives for that smile, hand touch, little praise from Masters lips..more often than not when it does occur..I loose ability to speak, and there is this invisible string that draws my head down, and pulls my lips upturned, and really odd squeaky, squealy noises come out.

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

(in reply to lisaSea)

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 8:07:18 AM

JustaTop

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
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Don't worry about it,it's just humility.

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 8:09:27 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lisaSea
Was wondering, if any others felt this way? Of course I live to see him pleased, but when he states it to another...or I hear Master telling a man that I excel in **insert something here**...my first thought is finding somewhere to hide, lol I'm sure at that point my cheeks are glowing brighter then Rudolphs nose.

I would be interested to learn if this was a "slave" trait...or just me. Seeing him happy and well pleased is my goal, so I'm not sure why it embarasses me to hear him say it to another.

It's not just a slave trait, but it is terribly common.

The best thing is to teach yourself to accept it gracefully. You can blush all you want, be mortified inside all you want, but accept compliments as they are given, with at least a thank you.

Any attempt to say "oh no no, really" is, IMO, an insult to the complimenter and a rejection of their well-intentioned feelings.

Eventually one can hope that you can be appropriately humbled AND completely agree with what they think about you.

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 8:13:05 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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I'm always pleased when I know some one or people are pleased with something I've done, but I had to learn how to accept complements and control the urge to blush and become speechless. it is about the only thing where I embarase easily. the more I value the person praising me the harder it is not to blush. (Really can you visualise a grizzled grizzly turning bright red?) Not that I don't like complements I still haven't perfected the way of dealing with them.. part of the problem of being a natural loner and sometimes maverick.. My father knew me well and just used to place a hand on my shoulder and nod "well done lad' that was sufficient for both of us.

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 8:27:03 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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I do agree with Emerald and with IronBear.

It can be very hard to accept praise. It has taken me a very long time to be open and not, like Em stated, say - '... oh no... really, its nothing....' because I had to realise that to serve is within me, so I am only doing that which is natural after all. Like Justatop said, it is humility - but it takes training and guidence to take humility away and accept a compliment because accepting the compliment is a service as well, and that just leads to more and more...

I love recieving compliments. Not for a selfish feeling, but knowing I have been pleasing. That causes me to know more of what I am capable of and so I learn, and the art of learning - the knowledge I have recieved from that, causes an internal response that is hard to describe. But being able to accept and be grateful for any positive or constructive comments is a great compliment in itself.

Peace and Love

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 8:33:21 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I'm always pleased when I know some one or people are pleased with something I've done, but I had to learn how to accept complements and control the urge to blush and become speechless. it is about the only thing where I embarase easily. the more I value the person praising me the harder it is not to blush. (Really can you visualise a grizzled grizzly turning bright red?)

[evil grin] Why, IronBear, someone as handsome as you are and as well spoken blushing. I'd think wonderful guy like you would just love it.

{It's nice to let the inner sadist out to play}

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 8:45:25 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I'm always pleased when I know some one or people are pleased with something I've done, but I had to learn how to accept complements and control the urge to blush and become speechless. it is about the only thing where I embarase easily. the more I value the person praising me the harder it is not to blush. (Really can you visualise a grizzled grizzly turning bright red?)

[evil grin] Why, IronBear, someone as handsome as you are and as well spoken blushing. I'd think wonderful guy like you would just love it.

{It's nice to let the inner sadist out to play}

My Lady who was looking over my shoulder is still rolling on the floor laughing her ass off.... I'm a thinking John if ever you visit here or I visit you we may need to seriously make a dint in a slab of Fosters and enjoy a few laughs.... Thank you.

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 9:26:13 AM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
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What do you do with that feeling that comes up of needing to repay a compliment with the compliment you just received, and it caught you off guard, and well you just really can't quite think of a compliment to return? That line of "oh and you know what? I just love how you've done your hair today" doesn't really cut it ..lol

Any better ones out there or is it just best to say a quick thankyou, overt your eyes, and try to remove yourself quickly to another area before you put your foot in your mouth by not being genuine?

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 9:32:08 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: starshineowned

What do you do with that feeling that comes up of needing to repay a compliment with the compliment you just received, and it caught you off guard, and well you just really can't quite think of a compliment to return? That line of "oh and you know what? I just love how you've done your hair today" doesn't really cut it ..lol

For an automatic response you can say "Why thank you, you're always so thoughtful like that"

Generic and polite.

quote:

Any better ones out there or is it just best to say a quick thankyou, overt your eyes, and try to remove yourself quickly to another area before you put your foot in your mouth by not being genuine?

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

I truly hope you haven't been forced to flee in the face of a compliment many times before!

Just practice, that gets you more comfortable than anything. I tend to be an easy complimenter, and sometimes it sounds silly, but if I admire something about someone, what good does it do either of us to keep it in?

A thank you, smile, and then continuing whatever you were doing before is just fine.

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 10:09:50 AM

edana

Posts: 594
Joined: 10/13/2004
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Greetings,

Response is individualistic that is for sure.

In my case, if i am complimented for a job well done, say in the office by a peer or a manager. I have no problem with looking them in the eye taking the compliment.

Just like i have no issue with giving one, In fact I tend to give them whenever I am impressed with the work someone has done for me.

A simple "Awesome Job" goes a long way. And you can tell by the smile on someone's face just how much two little words mean.

Where I become shy about a compliment is generally only when my Master compliments me on things that i used to deem somehow wrong. I still maintain a shy innocence when it comes to sexual things. Red is pretty much my default color when i am pushed to the floor and handled roughly and unable to control my most intimate form of submission.

When your owner is standing over you with a most pleased look on his face, the specks on the carpet become quite fascinating to stare at. *grins*

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edana

"Discipline turns talent into ability"

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 12:16:28 PM

lisaSea

Posts: 340
Joined: 8/27/2005
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Greetings Masters, Mistresses and slaves...

Thank you to everyone who responded... :) While chatting with a dear friend this morning I think she hit on the very core of this issue..for me. This person has known me for years, performed alongside of me at Faires and is very aware of my life with Master. She felt it was more along the lines of not wanting to draw attention to myself and actually, that makes some sense.

When we visit the home of others, I am most comfortable in the kitchen, preparing and tending things for the men..but I am out of sight except for the occassional serve. It is during the time I am at his feet, when he loudly proclaims how well I do something, that I feel all eyes turn my way and I fidget.

My friend felt it was more along the lines of not wanting to be the focus of attention, rather then just embarassment at a compliment. I am rather boisterous at Faires when we perform, so that didn't make sense at first. Then I realized...I am never alone when we sing. There are always others around me so I am not placed in the spotlight by myself.

Prior to Master, I was owned by a man who felt slaves should be useful, always in reach, but never "in the way". I grew accustomed to this. Now, in the midst of 4 or 5 men and their slaves, I try to melt into the wall paper or carpet at his feet and when he talks about my accomplishments..suddenly I am thrust into the center arena and my cloak of invisibility doesn't work so well.

I don't think I phrased my question correctly, since it is not the compliment so much, (it took another to point that out), as it is being the center of attention that I have problems with.

How do others get used to having all eyes on them? Is it something that needed to be overcome? Or did it seem natural to be the center of attention? Did past training have any influence on this, or just personality?

lisa{Sea's}

_____________________________

I prefer to think of it as aged to perfection, rather then just plain getting older.

http://www.geocities.com/house_of_sea

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RE: Switching gears... - 10/10/2005 12:28:08 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lisaSea
How do others get used to having all eyes on them?

I have no idea. I mean I'm USED to it, and can understand what's happening...but it's very different than being a nude beach where no one cares and being the only nude girl with a dozen naked guys jacking off to you.

quote:

Is it something that needed to be overcome?

As long as it doesn't prevent you from getting done what needs to get done, as long as you DO understand at your core that you are worth the attention, then no.

quote:

Or did it seem natural to be the center of attention? Did past training have any influence on this, or just personality?

I'd say a sure mix of both. Training can help you deal with it better, and over the long term help change your perspective, but it's quite likely always going to be your initial impulse to try and melt into the floor.

It's not good or bad, just what it is. I'm sure if your dom wants you to be more forthright and comfortable being in the spotlight then it will be something you work on over time.

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