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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> Discipline, punishment and/or play

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Discipline, punishment and/or play - 10/24/2005 3:37:25 PM

gentlesurrender

Posts: 99
Joined: 6/21/2005
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greetings Masters, Mistress and slaves and A/all who read the threads

having read a few threads over the last few months, and talked with Goreans in the chat rooms, i would like to ask how discipline, punishment and or play fits into the realms of Gor.

sometimes you see an image of a wellbehaved slave, always obedient, always good, so if you partake in s&m do you see it as play. We have had a fews discussion about the use of bondage and floggers, whips etc.

discipline and teaching, that forever ongoing learning curve, there are many ways you can deter bad behaviour or encourage learning without the necessity of any kind of beatings, spankings whatever name you would like to give it and of course punish.

some speak as though they beat just for the sake of it because they can, nothing to do with discipline or punishment. others have said they dont like brattish behaviour if the slave wants a spanking she should just ask for it.

how does it work for you?

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RE: Discipline, punishment and/or play - 10/24/2005 4:17:27 PM

Thadius

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Joined: 10/11/2005
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Discipline is exactly that for me...It is something done to correct improper behaviour. I believe more in the old cliche let the punishment fit the crime.... so I tailor each punishment to the infraction. I also believe in the positive reenforcement....

As to the bdsm side of it, yes we play, she enjoys the pain (hence the need for other deterants).

The worst punishment is to just ignore her, not to use her... make her think of her worth or value. And of course the extreme would be removing her collar, and pointing the way to the door.

These are just some quick thoughts, nothing to personal but a good idea of how it works for me.

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RE: Discipline, punishment and/or play - 10/24/2005 4:38:42 PM

ownedjulia

Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
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this works in a very similar way with me.

Master's main goal in punishment is to reinforce a behaviour change by making the punishmnet fit the crime.
This means that his punishments come in all forms and are not limited to a good beating.

its only really that he whips/flogs me simply because he wants to.......

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RE: Discipline, punishment and/or play - 10/24/2005 5:04:17 PM

yun

Posts: 138
Joined: 10/21/2005
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greetings Masters, Mistresses and slaves...

very interesting question indeed gentlesurrender and one that i've gotten into a lot of discussions about! i find that many Goreans that i meet online are convinced that those who practice any kind of SM or BDSM play aren't real Goreans at all. i'm not sure where the distinction came about that says that Goreans can't practice SM and BDSMer's cant' be Gorean also. why do they have to be so mutually exclusive? to me being Gorean is more about the mindset; the philosophies that i practice in how i submit and serve a Man. who's to say that the fact i enjoy an extreme amount of pain and play makes me less Gorean? i find that "service" and "play" to be two completely different issues and can be mutually exclusive and at the same time can be incorporated in together. a Gorean slave is all about submitting to the will and whim of a Man. if my owner has all the qualities of a Gorean Master who am i to deny my proper service to him? it's just another way to physically serve him. i don't find being a kajira and being a painslut to be incompatible with each other.

just a slaves humble opinion...

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RE: Discipline, punishment and/or play - 10/24/2005 5:09:59 PM

JustaTop

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
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I see a D/s dynamic as not being dependent on sensation play,bondage,any of the "kink" stuff.

I can have a slave and not even f**K her-it would be my perogative to use her only in a service role.

Disipline is when one reminds and directs. Punishment is when repeated effort in that direction needs harsher reenforcment to work.

I used to consider myself a sadist-but it lost it's appeal over time-it became to much like being a drug pusher-doling out the happy endorphin "fixes". I still like control forms-so bondage and confinement is fun-but I still realize it's icing on the cake-not the cake.

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RE: Discipline, punishment and/or play - 10/24/2005 7:00:11 PM

LostHeartedOne

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/15/2005
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Hey,
for Me I only use pain in play, How can I punish her with soemthing she enjoys, this only prevokes poor behavior. Verbal instruction combine with relective time on her knees and very much alone seem to work best.

< Message edited by LostHeartedOne -- 10/24/2005 7:01:41 PM >

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RE: Discipline, punishment and/or play - 10/24/2005 8:30:45 PM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
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Hello gentlesurrender,

I would say that I do invole some sensory play..this makes me no less Gorean than anyone else.........but the difference is there is no power shift in the relationship after a session and the play dosent involve limits or safe words.....I tend to leave the whip for punishment..........As my being Gorean I tend not to live to play there are aspects of the lifestyle that is outside of the bedroom.......I always believed that if you built something based merely on kink that one day there would be nothing left to try and then where would I be...very bored and unhappy...this is one thing i love about the Gorean lifestyle it encompasses so much more....the dances..the sheer number of slaves that do more than just merely serve your sexual needs...there are things around the home that needs to be done.....I love kinky sex and try to have as much as possible but I also have real life obligations as well.....I am a Gorean Father of two wonderful little gorean men.....they are amazing and awesome.......and have two very awesome role models in thier lives and a huge group of people to identify with....bella says they are already Master's lol.......

Master Six

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RE: Discipline, punishment and/or play - 10/26/2005 9:30:14 AM

gentlesurrender

Posts: 99
Joined: 6/21/2005
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Thank you all for your interesting and informative replies.

i agree with you yun, that i dont see one v the other, and your reply highlights the diversity of our interests and i can see no reason why interests can not be amalgamated in whatever degrees a couple are comfortable with.

JustaTop and SirSix, i understand very much the need for a relationship to cover all levels of life. Just enjoying a kinky sex session together is hardly a foundation for a full relationship, nor do i see that as fully serving a man. Its where sometimes what a bdsm dominant offers is not enough to satisfy an inner drive to want to please within life itself.

for a submissive stepping into the realms of slave, obviously there is much to learn, from learning when and when not to express herself, when and when not to use her own initiative, and that having a choice and the answer 'no' is now not in the equation. To have the reassurance that really many views are the same, in that discipline is an ongoing part of life, that punishment is indeed a tool used only as and when necessary within that discipline. I do though enjoy a good flogging, i would call it play, it isnt about discipline or punishment, but purely because it satisfies other desires and needs, but as and when a Master so chooses. Its also not always about going to the levels of endorphin release, but i find say after a stressful time, a flogging can become like a wonderful relaxant massage, a destressor, almost as good as a hot bath.

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We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy" Walter Anderson

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