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Oh grow up!

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> Oh grow up!

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Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 5:54:30 AM

ygraine

Posts: 674
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline

Joan Rivers is pretty famous for that tag line. I was thinking of it when I was reading the posts from the last week or so. We really seem to have hit a low point. I am not sure why, but I know that too often the internet guarantees a level of protection and anonymity that allows us to speak in ways we would not speak in person.
That being said, we on the Gorean forum often speak of holding people to a higher standard, be it slave, free man, or woman. I haven't seen that here lately. Instead I have seen veiled threats, passive aggression, simpering, whining, lets just beat 'em, all sorts of really childish behavior. In light of that, I would like to offer a few idea that might help us raise the bar a bit. Most of these have been posted elsewhere, but perhaps a reminder could help us all:
1. If you have a personal issue with someone, take it privately and dont come back and air your dirty laundry on the boards
2. the opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference. Achieve indifference. Walk away.
3. Stop with the passive aggressive stuff. Saying "I just want to learn" then zinging someone is immature and supremely passive aggressive. So is the "some people who think I am such-and-such" tactic. If you are posting to stir the pot, be adult enough to say so. Better yet, see #1.
4. If you are not happy with your image here, sorry, you probably established it yourself. Your actions will change opinions, and they can be changed. Prove you are who you say you are.
5. The Gorean board is no place to make excuses for behavior. Goreans don't play that card.
6. Vulgarity it the last bastion of the ignorant. When used well, it can emphasis a point brilliantly, but a big rant of nasty words on here takes away from the value of your post and your ideas.
7. Name calling: ditto.

Please note the following disclaimer: I am not picking on anyone in particular. These are behaviors and actions I have seen on this board by many. I am guilty of a few of them myself and I am making a sincere effort to change. Why? Because I have learned so much here, despite all the nonsense, and that is important to me. I am selfish enough to want to learn more.

These are ideas, and they are mine alone. No, I am not telling you what to do. They are not commands, demands, or orders. Take what is useful to you and leave the rest.

Have a nice day.
Ygraine

_____________________________

If you think something is too good to be true, it probably is.

Post #: 1

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 7:17:45 AM

Leonidas

Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline

My ex knows Joan Rivers pretty well. Goes to the same temple. She's pretty much a waste of skin, but fortunately they remove a little every year, so it's not so bad as it used to be. Her daughter, on the other hand, would look well in a collar, but I digress.

We have moderators who will exert social control when the actual rules here have been violated. I imagine that the thread you were talking about would have been removed if the OP had named names, rather than presenting it as a "hypothetical". You seem like a "take charge" kinda gal, and so I know the urge to try to exert social control is strong, but how bout you think better of posts like this and let the mods deal with it?

Lets just beat 'em is sounding better all the time.

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to ygraine)

Post #: 2

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 7:48:21 AM

ygraine

Posts: 674
Joined: 10/10/2006
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Leonidas,
"These are ideas, and they are mine alone. No, I am not telling you what to do. They are not commands, demands, or orders. Take what is useful to you and leave the rest. "
I am glad that you have.
Y

_____________________________

If you think something is too good to be true, it probably is.

(in reply to Leonidas)

Post #: 3

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 7:57:05 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 5969
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

What does it tell you that speaking truth is shunned and that moderators rather than character are called upon to create order and civility?

_____________________________

Leadership527 to me "You're like some unholy union between an improv comedian and .... well... a perverted sadist."

(in reply to ygraine)

Post #: 4

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 8:04:44 AM

Leonidas

Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

What does it tell you that speaking truth is shunned and that moderators rather than character are called upon to create order and civility?

It tells me that it's like every other discussion forum I've participated in since the 80s when they were hosted on BBS systems. They are prone to people getting their panties in a twist and starting some drama if the mods don't step in once in a while. Hopefully not in too heavy handed a way so that people feel too constrained about what they can and can't say and hopefully as fairly and impartially as possible.

As for it being "truth" who gives a fuck? We're here to discuss lifestyle issues, no who did what to whom.

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 5

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 8:08:21 AM

amelliagrace

Posts: 1792
Joined: 8/4/2007
Status: offline

Good list of suggestions, Y.

While Leonidas has a point about the role and usefulness of Moderators, the occasional reminder from one person or another to stop, think, and use a little common sense has merit as well...IMNSHO.

A TOS is like any other rule or law. It is possible to skirt it closely, keeping within the limits while trashing the spirit of it completely. It is equally possible to violate it without doing anything truly worthy of a slap on the wrist, probation, or a trip to the pokey.

Nothing new or unusual in any of that. Human beings haven't changed much in recent history.

Grace

(in reply to ygraine)

Post #: 6

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 8:15:24 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 5969
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

It tells me that it's like every other discussion forum I've participated in since the 80s when they were hosted on BBS systems.

Wow, so you have been on the internet a long time? What exactly does that have to do with this Gor forum or are you saying that everyone is the same and that Gor is no different?

quote:

They are prone to people getting their panties in a twist and starting some drama if the mods don't step in once in a while.

So anyone who does something you don't like wears panties or is causing drama? In debate we call that "poisioning the well" and it is a cheesy tactic. You seem to treat mods like playground nannies.

quote:

Hopefully not in too heavy handed a way so that people feel too constrained about what they can and can't say and hopefully as fairly and impartially as possible.

Talk about wearing panties, you hope the grownups aren't too mean and are fair? Sounds rather passive to me.

quote:

As for it being "truth" who gives a fuck? We're here to discuss lifestyle issues, no who did what to whom.

Uh, if truth isn't required, what sort of discussion about what sort of lifestyle is it exactly?

_____________________________

Leadership527 to me "You're like some unholy union between an improv comedian and .... well... a perverted sadist."

(in reply to Leonidas)

Post #: 7

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 8:17:59 AM

Maahsatti

Posts: 2579
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

Howdy Y,

Great suggestions here Lady and I thank you for posting them and sending a gentle reminder to us all, that we are all adults and here to discuss and debate Gorean Philos, as well as other subjects, that are linked to, in a mature fashion.
We may get passionate and heated, but nothing wrong with that, providing it does not sink to a mud slinging contest. Something I have been quilty of as well.

Take good care,
Babs

_____________________________

Gorean women, whether slave or Free,know, that their simple presence, brings joy to men,and I cannot think but that this pleases them.
Outlaw of Gor, pg 54

(in reply to ygraine)

Post #: 8

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 8:20:36 AM

Leonidas

Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline

quote:

So anyone who does something you don't like wears panties or is causing drama? In debate we call that "poisioning the well" and it is a cheesy tactic. You seem to treat mods like playground nannies.

If you can't separate personal drama from something that I simply might not like or agree with, sorry, can't help you there. Use a little common sense bud. I don't see anything else much worth commenting on here. It seems like you have a dog in this fight somehow, but trust me when I say, I really could care less. The forums are for discussing issues of interest to us all, not for hashing out personal disagreements or percieved slights. If you don't get that, I guess you don't, and I don't care to "debate" it with you anymore.

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 9

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 8:25:47 AM

xBullx

Posts: 3962
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas

Lets just beat 'em is sounding better all the time.

Who we gonna beat?

I will agree that as comments in that one thread way over there -------------->> became directed obviously at an individual rather than a subject it become less constructive and more of a social dramatic and annoying situation.

I myself had hoped for something construct to evolve from the whole mess. I'll have to work on my tactical operational skills. That Moderator Six ruined my fun.

Ygraine is a High School Teacher, I'm sure she brings up the same points as she did in this thread damn near daily.

Do you think that she missed the mark with her suggestions?

I think she made some valid points. I also think she might have prevoked emotional contempt in some by pinpointing stated specifics.

Maybe she was right, I'm still working on that. I know I can be a bit vulgar or at least cuss to much for my taste at times. Fuckin' Army mind conditioning.

For the most part I think if people are paying attention they just might learn something around here. I know I do.

_____________________________

Live well,

Bull

I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

(in reply to Leonidas)

Post #: 10

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 8:32:28 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 5969
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Bull,

As always, you are a class act and one of the few who I think might actually survive on Gor and be recognizes as a man there.

_____________________________

Leadership527 to me "You're like some unholy union between an improv comedian and .... well... a perverted sadist."

(in reply to xBullx)

Post #: 11

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 8:32:59 AM

xBullx

Posts: 3962
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas

As for it being "truth" who gives a fuck? We're here to discuss lifestyle issues, no who did what to whom.

Damn, this I really agree with (assuming it's the truth about the petty drama that should have been left in private emails to begin with)....The other thread that seems to be in question should have been locked almost straight away; in my opinion. I myself waited a good while to even post in it, thinking it would be pulled. It looked like a drama play from jump street to me. But I did have inside info so that might be an unfair assessment.

< Message edited by xBullx -- 5/31/2008 8:36:46 AM >

_____________________________

Live well,

Bull

I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

(in reply to Leonidas)

Post #: 12

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 8:38:18 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 5969
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

As for it being "truth" who gives a fuck? We're here to discuss lifestyle issues, no who did what to whom.

She was speaking of HOW people discussed things and whether or not those discussions were conducted with the traits many so loudly proclaim to be important. Unless being passive aggressive, snide, and petty are important traits, I think pointing them out IS a discussion of lifestyle issues.

I mean it is important to do more thank talk about behaving a certain way, isn't it?

_____________________________

Leadership527 to me "You're like some unholy union between an improv comedian and .... well... a perverted sadist."

(in reply to Leonidas)

Post #: 13

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 8:43:21 AM

xBullx

Posts: 3962
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

-fast reply-

I really think after the time I've spent here that Moderating these message boards must be a Mother F_cker. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I know I would struggle with enforcing the TOS and still voicing my Gorean perspective on things. I'm kind of wondering if it wasn't Ygraine's point that we assist this process by maintaining a sense of responsibility and accountability own our own accord.

But that's just me..... {{{{BAR TENDER!!!!!!!!!!!!....another round for my friends and sluts all around!!!!}}}}

(God I love that emote)

_____________________________

Live well,

Bull

I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

(in reply to xBullx)

Post #: 14

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 9:32:39 AM

OrionTheWolf

Posts: 7329
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

~FR~

My only comment about the recent threads, and situations is: sad. I am learning more and more lately "why bother?" when it is concerning others. Would rather save that energy for me and mine.

I agree with Leonidas though, beatings tend to solve some things and peace is often a more valuable prize than justice.

Live well,
Orion

_____________________________

Die die glauben fordern keinen Beweis. Denen die zweifeln genuegt kein Beweis.

(in reply to xBullx)

Post #: 15

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 10:00:59 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 5969
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I agree with Leonidas though, beatings tend to solve some things and peace is often a more valuable prize than justice.

Except the only one in this thread offering "beatings" is the OP whom you and Leonidas reject for calling others to task. Unless calling on others to beat posters up is what you meant, as Leonidas wants to do nothing himself but rely on nannies to keep the peace.

_____________________________

Leadership527 to me "You're like some unholy union between an improv comedian and .... well... a perverted sadist."

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

Post #: 16

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 10:49:26 AM

OrionTheWolf

Posts: 7329
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

Greetings Simply,

You seem to want to argue. I believe that is what the off topic section is for. Nannies are often needed for posters , so I can understand why you might not like them.

Good luck with things.

Orion

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

I agree with Leonidas though, beatings tend to solve some things and peace is often a more valuable prize than justice.

Except the only one in this thread offering "beatings" is the OP whom you and Leonidas reject for calling others to task. Unless calling on others to beat posters up is what you meant, as Leonidas wants to do nothing himself but rely on nannies to keep the peace.

_____________________________

Die die glauben fordern keinen Beweis. Denen die zweifeln genuegt kein Beweis.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 17

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 11:13:44 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

Sorry thread hijack butttttttttt Leonadis you are damn fine

And Bull may i have a cuddle from those big strong arms?
Pretty please

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Leonidas)

Post #: 18

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 11:14:23 AM

Terrah

Posts: 372
Joined: 7/5/2007
Status: offline

Tal Everyone,

Wow, and to think in just a few short hours this thread has too regressed into something stupid when it started out really fine.

Ya'll need to drink a beer or something, go for a swim, sit in the shade and contemplate life or something eh? I mean really, do you realize you're starting in again at eachother in a thread that is supposed to be about not doing it? Hmmm

I know I have in recent past posted something I should not have, I felt I was goaded into it as well, but then again I really don't care. The person I aimed at I did take to private first and foremost only to find that didn't work, so I felt the only recourse was to say something, which by the way shoulda been pulled too. I was wrong in the fact I should have posted elsewhere with it as well and perhaps brought up a discussion about it, again hindsight is 20/20. So I moved on, not a biggie.

Big girl panties don't bunch easily they sorta just are there to remind ya all the trouble you'll have when ya wanna pull 'em down and your sweaty. Heh Honestly, let's take this thread to a new place and say today I will post something that has to do with the lifestyle and not all the individuals involved in that process. Wanna try that one for a change?

Please?

I wish you well,

Terrah

_____________________________

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyhow." (John Wayne)

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

Post #: 19

RE: Oh grow up! - 5/31/2008 3:43:31 PM

NumberSix

Posts: 1371
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

<snip>
6. Vulgarity it the last bastion of the ignorant. When used well, it can emphasis a point brilliantly, but a big rant of nasty words on here takes away from the value of your post and your ideas.
<snip>

Well color me purple and suck my cock, if that ain't an old chestnut.; I emphasize this only due to my being a fuckwad, asshole, drunkard, whoremonger and genteel sorta ne'er do well.

I can; I think, without too much disconcertion, or disconcertation (if you all are not too fuckin' pedantic..) say that swearing, vulgarity, crudeness. bathos, scurrility and uncouthness becomes me.

There is some artifice (which I freely admit that I don't comprehend) that makes this word vulgar and that word generally accepted.

Oh, Daddy!!! Take me in the back--- is somehow more mellifluous than, say; OK, bitch, head down ; ass up, I am gonna snatch me some dirty, dirty gamboo!!!

No, I would see vulgarity as the first bastion: the vanguard, and not the alamo.

Why?

6

< Message edited by NumberSix -- 5/31/2008 3:53:41 PM >

_____________________________

"Who are you?"
"The new Number Two."
"Who is Number One?"
"You are Number Six.".
"I am not a number — I am a free man!"

Be seeing you...

(in reply to Terrah)

Post #: 20

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