quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

So...it seems the LO woke up during the night and, in a rare move, did not wake up good ol' mom. Instead, he ventured his little butt into the kitchen to perfect a secret recipe he has been working on.

He took a new extra large bag of potato chips (about 5.00)
added an entire FIVE POUND jar of peanut butter (10.00)
to this concoction he added:
A 3 pound jar of fancy cashews (12.99)
a dozen eggs (free...we have chickens)
3 Snickers bars (each had a small nibble...he was hungry)
and to finish the mess...
A new 64oz bottle of ketchup (squeeze bottles make it SO easy!)

It seems he experienced slight difficulty finding a receptacle large enough to contain this disaster. I was able to ascertain this fact by noting all the dirty dishes that covered the counters, floor, and filled the sink. After putting this crap in every single pot and pan in the kitchen, he finally settled for an extra large frying pan...making a peanut butter, potato chip, cashew and ketchup mountain that spilled over the sides and onto the table, chairs, and floor.

Now it was time to put it into the oven. It seems he tried, really tried to lug this thing over to the stove, but it was too heavy. So...he scooped it out with a spatula and deposited it directly onto the oven rack, leaving a trail between the table and stove. Of course it plopped down to the lower rack, then onto the bottom of the oven. No doubt he would have loved to begin the baking process right then and there, but cranky ol mom has locks on the stove and oven controls, damnit!

Finally, he completed his mission, and felt it was safe to head back to bed. Since this peanut butter and ketchup mess was all over the floor, it stands to reason it was also all over him. Little feet tracked it from the kitchen to the bathroom (he had to go..) and finally to his bedroom. Thankfully, by the time he reached the dark carpet in his room, the mess had already worn off on the light beige carpeting in the living room and hallway.

Exhausted, he climbed back into bed, covering the freshly laundered bedspread, sheets, and pillows with the mess that was on his clothes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Glue 

He put glue on the toilet seat

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Glue 

He put glue on the toilet seat