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~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 1:37:49 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Not to completely derail another thread I wanted to ask the submissives and slave a very personal and in depth question about the "Threesome" "Second Girl" and "Harem" Ideas that get thrown around a lot.

Now I have already gotten my fill of, "I would Never", and "I should be enough", and "If he needs more than me there is something wrong" answers. I get it you don't want to share. But my question is a little more in depth than that.

I can't speak for all men but I know that a some men who practice the same kinks I do when it comes to sex and multiple partners tend to agree, it's not an emotional thing in which we compare pussies it's a sexual drive to be with a woman who fells and smells different. That being said I find the most common complaint is about how this second woman relates to the first one, and often how it is believed that there is something wrong with the first girl and that is why the guy wants another girl.

Before I get to my Question I want to state that For ME personally I can be Head over heels in love with the woman of my dreams and still want to fuck any attractive woman that I see who happens to turn my head. Beyond that my wife is a NYMPHO she wants it three times a day every day and anyway I want to give it to her. Because I am not that sexually driven I offten have to turn her down or fuck for the sake of fucking which isn't always bad but is rarely great and when times like this happen she asks me if it was good and well I like to answer honestly and tell her "it was a good release but I wasn't that into it, I just didn't feel like having sex"

Because of this behavior my wife thinks that I am not attracted to her anymore which is far from the truth I have simply become very comfortable with her and don't feel I need to be slaming her stupid for fear that I might have to go with out in a month. I have gotten to the point where I make love to my wife in a romantic way and every once in awhile I get the wild hair to push her head through a wall. The point being I love my wife very much and still find her very attactive and sexy.

And Yet I still get arroused at the Idea of having sex with another woman who also has sex with my wife. This Idea turns me and apparently Thousands of me on and leaves them wanting this and suggesting it often. Threesomes are the most common sexual desire outside of the initial relationship. The Idea of a Permanent Partner who is equally dedicated to the two of you as you are to each other and in retrospect would be to her is the desire I have always had and although sexual connection is a part of the union I want it is not the ONLY or even the MAIN part but this isn't about what I want I just want to quell the "It's all about your Penis" comments at least as many as I can.

So the questions, Ladies what is it you think first when you hear about another couple having a Threesome? Do you assume it happned because the Man wanted it? if not what exactly do you feel?

If you have ever been asked to partisipate in a Threesome and choose not too what were your reasons? If you choose to agree to it what was the reason you agreed? Did it end well or poorly? Do you feel the same way now about the situation as you did then? Why do you think the women that do partisipate in these activities do it?

For those of you who partisipate in Swinging or Poly or Threesomes of Sexual Openness how do you see these acts? how do you determine thier Design? Do you still get jealous? If so How do you deal with that Jealousy? Why do you think women who don't partisipate in these activities choose not to or think it's wrong?

I really want to know from a submissive point of view male or female what makes this activity right or wrong in your eyes?

Please respect others points of view and refrain from attacking a personal view as this is all about getting as many sides as possible not focusing on one side and digging in at it keeping others from wanting to share thier side.

I am Very Curious to see the replies.

Steel

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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 2:08:25 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

If you have ever been asked to partisipate in a Threesome and choose not too what were your reasons? If you choose to agree to it what was the reason you agreed? Did it end well or poorly? Do you feel the same way now about the situation as you did then? Why do you think the women that do partisipate in these activities do it?


Yes, been asked and said no.  I'm basically a monogamous person and I prefer it that way.  I feel no desire nor need to add additional sex partners.  My present partner would enjoy doing swapping and has in the past, however, his health issues make that impossible at this time.  So far he seems quite happy with our sex life.  I have no idea why women participate in any activitiy.  I have not asked anyone, nor do I plan on guessing at their motivations. 

quote:

I really want to know from a submissive point of view male or female what makes this activity right or wrong in your eyes? 


I do not see the activity as right or wrong.  It is a personal decision and is based on person's morals and needs.  I would never ever try to push my own views on another.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 2:10:16 PM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i don't automatically assume it's because of me or that i am necessarily lacking.  However, since i am straight, there would be no reason for me to be present, i've tried it and it wasn't for me.  Just cuz someone is serving eyeball soup doesn't mean *i* have to eat it too.  The last time i was part of a "threesome" i wasn't included, i was just there.  i got really bored and went into my room and watched tv and then went to sleep.  Now, if i were in a relationship where my partner wanted a variety, great!  i've been in those relationships and it's been fine.  He fucks who he wants to and i fuck who i want to and everyone's happy. 

However, that kind of relationship is a dime a dozen.  A guy only has one dick and i only have three holes and just filling holes all day is more like a landscaping job than a relationship, in my opinion...ymmv.

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(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 2:12:42 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened
However, that kind of relationship is a dime a dozen.  A guy only has one dick and i only have three holes and just filling holes all day is more like a landscaping job than a relationship, in my opinion...ymmv.


Landscaping now that is a new one.

Love it.

Keep um coming people this is actually very interesting.

Steel

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 2:29:52 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		Steel,
Confidence is King! I don't think it is possible to participate as a couple in a threesome or group sex without total confidence and trust in each other. Should the thought be present that after the fact you will ask, or be asked; "Was he/she better than me?; don't even attempt it. If the possibility of seeing the face of your partner expressing ecstasy at the hands of another troubles you or your partner - don't let your participation level exceed spectator. 

I don't think the processing of the experience should be any different from the sub/slave side of the flogger than it is from the Master/Dom side. There is a complimentary, symbiotic relationship involved. The use of my slave is an intimate act for me whether my participation involves something intensely physical or is limited to simply granting permission. I don't need or seek any similar permission from my slave; but were I not confident in her or her reaction to my participation exclusive of her or including her, it wouldn't happen either. We covered, actually better said UN-covered, a lot personal information regarding each other to get us to the point we have no doubt about the trust we have in each other. As exciting and intimate as any experience can be with another, or others, it would be impossible for that fundamental condition of trust to be compromised.

Fun should be the goal and is key to the perspective of every participant. I think the worst reason you can do it is to please a partner. Placating a whim, or even a fantasy like that is fertile ground to grow resentment. Trust your instincts; it is better to wait and get to a point where the idea is fun for all. It is easy to rationalize that the physical act, sex and/or scene, will be 'casual'; but rarely is it. Personally I don't believe, and/or desire, disconnected or 'casual' anything.

There are emotions involved, newness, uniqueness. Getting off a roller coaster ride generates a reaction. When the ride is over, it's common to express a knowing glance and a 'WOW! with the people you shared the experience. In this case, the simple expression of "WOW!" when its over may take on a meaning far beyond the reference of the physical act. Trust and confidence in your relationship lets you process that "WOW!" appropriately.

The thought of the experience is never the same as the experience. For that reason some of the 'best' personal experiences have been spontaneous when the opportunity presents itself with people you are 'connecting' emotionally as well as physically. I haven't said yes 100% of the time, but I sure haven't said no. Reasons vary, it comes back again to a 'connection' beyond the physical sensation. How much time that takes depends on the situation; sometimes it has taken years, other times a few hours. The common ground is that they've all been fun for everyone involved. It is! Or at least it can be.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 2:31:11 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		My views?

There are some people who are made to be monogamous just as there are some people who are made to be poly.  You can choose to go against you nature and you can be happy doing so.  My Owner is traditionally poly, and she has gone against her nature in order to be monogamous withe me.  This is because being in a sexually poly situation is something that I -cannot- handle.  It does, in my view, imply that I'm lacking in some area even if that's probably not what would be meant by my Owner.  What can I say?  I can't turn off being entirely repulsed by the idea and I have tried.  I also don't think that being repulsed by an idea makes me disloyal, stupid, or unreasonable.

So, it's much much easier for my Owner to simply decide to be monogamous towards me, which thankfully she is.  It's an example of what makes her so wonderful.  I also have no problems being monogamous towards her...it's how I'm wired.

Needless to say, we settled this very early on in our relationship.

So, in short, it's wrong to me because it's something I can't reconcile with on any level.  I have full confidence she loves me deeply, but I cannot share any more than she can.  I think that's why she understands where I'm coming from so well.  You can love somebody deeply, and trust them with your life...and still be completely sickened by the idea of them being somebody else.

DV's Fox

< Message edited by Shawn1066 -- 6/17/2008 2:34:59 PM >

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 2:37:44 PM   
cantilena


Posts: 224
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

So the questions, Ladies what is it you think first when you hear about another couple having a Threesome? Do you assume it happned because the Man wanted it? if not what exactly do you feel?

If you have ever been asked to partisipate in a Threesome and choose not too what were your reasons? If you choose to agree to it what was the reason you agreed? Did it end well or poorly? Do you feel the same way now about the situation as you did then? Why do you think the women that do partisipate in these activities do it?

For those of you who partisipate in Swinging or Poly or Threesomes of Sexual Openness how do you see these acts? how do you determine thier Design? Do you still get jealous? If so How do you deal with that Jealousy? Why do you think women who don't partisipate in these activities choose not to or think it's wrong?

I really want to know from a submissive point of view male or female what makes this activity right or wrong in your eyes?



(snipped just to the questions... think I got them all)

The first thing I think of when I hear about another couple having a threesome is Good For Them.  Instinctively, I suppose I used to think it was the man's idea, however I no longer think that at all.  I've met some really cool people along the way in which their dynamic was more driven by the wife's needs for other women in the marriage rather than the man's... For them, he was along for the very pleasant ride.

Yes, I have been asked; no I did not participate.  The reason is that (as has become painfully obvious to me through reading other threads today) I am a relative puritan.  I say that jokingly, however there's a grain of truth to it... Just not my cup of joe so to speak.  The fact I'm about as straight on the het scale as they come probably plays a part.  A threesome with 2 guys rather than 2 girls is a hot fantasy, but still would never happen in my real world.

I'm skipping the questions up to the "right and wrong" ones because they don't apply.  As for threesomes being right or wrong, I don't really judge it for others.  It's neither right OR wrong... I believe it's a matter of preference and personal comfort levels.  As a submissive, and one who is not part of total authority transfer, I don't see my position on this as being in conflict with submission.

All that said, I suppose I don't take it as lightly as others do either... sex for me is more than a physical act... For me, it is a deeply intimate one.  So as old-fashioned as it may be, I feel some measure of pity for a person if sex has becoming as meaningless as scratching one's butt.

That's just me though.





(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 2:38:09 PM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		I'm (apparently) a rare woman, in that I am more than capable of having and enjoying sex for the sake of sex, no strings or complications. Did a fair bit of it in college and enjoyed myself. However, ultimately I did want a relationship. I have one. I could have sex outside it, but I feel no particular pull...his body and his cock suit me just fine when I'm in the mood. We are poly because I am bisexual and a woman is just that much different from a man that I really would like one of each. But more than one of each...I just don't feel a need. I might mildly enjoy the variety, but not enough to make it worth the effort.
Apparently, for many men, the variety is worth the effort. As long as no one involved minds, it's good with me.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 2:56:39 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Early on in my sexual life I had a threesome.  Being that I have bad associations with women, it was an mmf.  It wasn't easy or satisfying.  In fact I would say it was probably the most un-fun thing I have ever done. 
One of my relationship mates tried to get me to do a mff, but it pissed me off so badly that was the last week or so he stayed in my life. 
I don't think it is wrong if that is your thing.  I do think it can be more successful if people are ok with same sex, sex.  But for people who aren't into it..?  It was just more bother than the payoff, at least for me.
Kyst

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 3:17:31 PM   
MistressSybella


Posts: 163
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline 		I am one of the most "un-jealous" people you'd meet and have a poly mindset. If you were to present the idea to me, just as you have on this thread, I'd say, "Ok." I'm sorry your wife took issue with it but I can't see why it's really a problem! ;)

That said, my relationships tend to be poly in nature.

I had a live in female submissive for a few years and shared her with a Dom. We would co-top her regularly, and the three of us would cuddle as well. In fact, he wrote a haiku about it, something along the lines of "Three lazy spoons." ;) I also had a man on the side. So in essence, sometimes I would join in and play with her and her man (the dom) and sometimes she would join in and play with me and my man. It was close to being uncomplicated but wasn't completely without problems. My female submissive had some jealousy issues at time, not with sharing her man but with me going out with mine. That was kind of unexpected. ;) But perhaps it had merit because that guy "on the side" is my husband now.

My current relationship is somewhat open as well. We, well really *I*, have a mtf trans submissive and sometimes our activites are 3-some in nature.

In my experience, it wasn't until I fully got to know the people that I felt comfortable with it. There has to be an emotional link in order to get me in bed or in a scene with someone. Perhaps that is what your wife needs, to be given a chance to get to know the girl first.

Miss 'Bella
ServeMeWell

< Message edited by MistressSybella -- 6/17/2008 3:18:52 PM >

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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 3:24:37 PM   
TwoNYCDommes


Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
what is it you think first when you hear about another couple having a Threesome? Do you assume it happned because the Man wanted it? if not what exactly do you feel?

In general, I assume it happened because all parties (either the three women, the three men, the 2 men and 1 woman, or the 2 women and 1 man, etc.) were interested.  If I know that any of the 3 people involved are in D/s relationships, then I would loosely assume that their dominants were interested.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
If you have ever been asked to partisipate in a Threesome and choose not too what were your reasons? If you choose to agree to it what was the reason you agreed? Did it end well or poorly? Do you feel the same way now about the situation as you did then? Why do you think the women that do partisipate in these activities do it?

I honestly don't remember anyone clearly asking me to participate; threesomes just happen sometimes.  I can't recall any ending badly.  The women (by which I primarily mean me, since there haven't been very many other women in my threesomes) participated for the same reasons the men did--interest in the idea and/or at least one of the other people involved.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
For those of you who partisipate in Swinging or Poly or Threesomes of Sexual Openness how do you see these acts? how do you determine thier Design? Do you still get jealous? If so How do you deal with that Jealousy? Why do you think women who don't partisipate in these activities choose not to or think it's wrong?

All of my relationships are poly.  I don't define poly as an "act," so I'm not sure how to answer that question.  I tend to allow my relationships to develop naturally and don't focus too much on defining and designing them.  I have never been a particularly jealous person.
People (both men and women) who do not to participate in various multi-partner activities seem to have a wide variety of reasons.  Many are simply not interested in having more than one partner (as difficult as that may be for me to understand).  Others are interested but have never had the opportunity.  Still others have mixed feelings on the subject.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
I really want to know from a submissive point of view male or female what makes this activity right or wrong in your eyes?

I can't speak from the submissive view point.


Your turn: 
Your post seemed to be entirely focused on FFM threesomes.  I'd be interested in hearing your own answers to your set of questions, but focusing on MMF threesomes instead.

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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 3:27:00 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		To clearify because it seems I left some words out. My wife has image issues and security issues and we are working thorugh them slowly but when those issues surface it is always in a situation where she wonders if she is still attractive to me I have tried to convince her otherwise and have even tried to address the issue differently on my end and the outcome is always the same so we are at a snails pace on the issue now and taking it slow even at that.

There is no issues CURRENTLY going on I asked this because of the Procuring Thread and I am curious as to how submissives and slaves and Dom's and Domme's of all walks of life see this issue. I was specifically wanting to know about the "s" Types because it is often them who tend to be protrayed as not having a choice and I wanted to know how they feel when the subject is first mentioned and why.

Steel

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The Steel Warm-Up © ™
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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 3:36:21 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

Your turn: 
Your post seemed to be entirely focused on FFM threesomes.  I'd be interested in hearing your own answers to your set of questions, but focusing on MMF threesomes instead.


I am sorry about that I tend to only speak from my own experiences and I will openly admit that in my experinece although I have been party to Many MMF Threesomes I don't care for them I find them often Mechanical due to the fact that I am very Hetrosexual and have no interest in the Male Counterpart at all. Instead I try to ignore thier presence and find the whole situation revolves around the Mechanical Aspect and then I find although I may reach climax it is hardly fulfilling.

I also Appologise that I may come off anti MMF or even MMM in my questions but the honest answer is I speak from only my own perspective and in reality even a FFF Threesome holds no drive for me I am only interested in a MFF Connection and I perfer Triad and Poly Fi at that meaning we are a Unified Group with no additional outside interaction in which there is the relationship between Me and one girl and another Between Me and the Other girl and Another Between the both gils without me and finally a relationhsip between all three of us. It is simply how I am sexually wired.

Now how I feel about MMF and MMM and FFF Threesomes is the way I view all sexual kinks and fetishes I try to understand it better, I understand the desire to have them I just don't have the personal desire to join. There have been times where I have and did so out of personal desire but as has been pointed out the Reality of the Fantasy is better than the actual. I have been party to everything but a MMM Threesome and I have witnessed a few FFF and in honesty I just wouldn't have interest in the MMM because I am a Hetrosexual and not aroused by the idea and the FFF was equally as uninteresting because I wasn't a partisipant.

Hopefully that answers your questions and Thank you for asking them

Steel

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Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 4:30:30 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		~~fast reply~~

i've been in threesomes with 3 "sets".  all three were fmf. 

only one was really good for me because i felt connected to both people.  one, i was entirely ignored, plus the look of disgust on his face when i touched her told me that it wasnt his idea of fun, either.  i ended up leaving the room, and letting them have their fun.

the other one was ok, but i was a bit uncomfortable because she really didnt participate...  because she was harboring a cold and didnt wish to share it with me.  considerate, but not all it could have been.

i feel happier when i can concentrate on one person at a time, i dont even care for 69 bercause i cant concentrate on giving pleasure if i'm being delightfully distracted.  but that's me.

kitten

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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 4:45:32 PM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		Hey Steel, nice thread.  I'll reply on behalf of myself and my girl.
Threesomes, polyamory, and other forms of "multiple partners" (yeah I'm mixing terms a bit but you know what I mean) are incredibly common cravings, as you mentioned.  Myself, I have a huge craving to see my girl enjoying herself sexually with another female (preferrably submissive, but vanilla, switch, or even dominant is a possibility as well).  And I want her to watch me with another girl.  I want her to see things from a different physical and emotional perspective.  Contrast is incredibly potent in helping us learn more, especially about ourselves.  And hell, it's incredibly hot.  And it's not limited to just two people playing and one watching!  Three people all into each other and into the D/s dynamics between each other.... frackin' hot as hell.  My girl is probably less driven to experience it, but it's always been a fantasy of hers.  She does want it, she just isn't as active as I am in getting out there and making it happen.
Why do I have this need?  I'm not sure.  I believe, like most impulses, it comes from instinct which is ingrained in us.  It's who I am to want to dominate more than one female.  Sounds like it's in you as well, and I suspect, in a huge majority of males.  Some deny themselves ("it's sinful", etc) and some won't admit it to others, but that doesn't mean they don't feel the craving.

As for our experiences, we're still in the early stages.  We have a mutual female friend we've played with (light play) and I have a special girl (non-local but not ridiculously far away) I want to meet and see how things go.  I had visions of us having FAR more wild experiences by this point in our relationship (were together online 4 years, been together in person for 1 year) but we're happy and enjoying things so I'm not complaining.

That doesn't answer all your questions very well, but hopefully there's some insight in there, or food for more discussion.  Thanks for the interesting thread.

(in reply to pixidustpet)
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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 4:49:44 PM   
bashfulhuck


Posts: 119
Joined: 5/26/2008
Status: offline 		I happen to be one of those people that can live either in a Monogamous or Poly situation and be perfectly ok with it, so long as the person or people I am with are right for me.
I have been involved in threesomes, both MMF and FFM, and had a great time with them. I don't get jealous so long as my partner treats me with love and respect, and stays within any boundaries we may have discussed. I'm a pretty secure guy, and will take my partner at their word that they love me and are there for me, no matter what, unless they blatantly and repeatedly show otherwise.
I'm a very passionate, physical person, so I love all kinds of sensations of touch, from the soft loving stuff to the rougher stuff. Included in that are the overwhelming sensations of more than one person with me.
Like some other people here, I also think there are those that are flat out monogamous, and those that are flat our poly. I happen to be capable of being either, depending on the situation. I guess that's just the Libra in me LOL.
For me, if what you are doing sexually is consensual amongst everybody involved, and you all like it, then there is not one single thing wrong with it.

Peace and serenity,
bashful

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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 5:20:02 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Steel, I'm lost here.  Your wife feels that you're not attracted to her and you say that you;ve gotten comfortable.  So your solution is to add a third.

I suggest instead that you work things out between you first.

[gets on soapbox] One of my theories about women is that they need to be jogged out of routine.  I suggest that you show your caring for her in nonsexual ways, and make it so she has no clue what's coming next.  Flowers for no occasion, make an anonymous mash note and leave it in her car, etc.  And of course the surprise grab or nipple pinch when she doesn't expect it.  [gets off soapbox]

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 5:37:46 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

So the questions, Ladies what is it you think first when you hear about another couple having a Threesome?

doesn't effect me none since i wouldn't be interested in participating

quote:

Do you assume it happned because the Man wanted it? if not what exactly do you feel?

yes - isn't that the ultimate male fantasy ...having sex a FFM threesome? i cannot see men getting excited and horny to participate in a MMF threesome.

quote:

If you have ever been asked to partisipate in a Threesome and choose not too what were your reasons?

i've never been asked to participate in a threesome however if i was, i wouldn't accept the offer. i personally wouldn't get any sexual gratification out of it since i'm a very jealous person and don't play well with other women. plus i guess it would help if i was bi but i'm not ...not even remotely curious about exploring that side to me.



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(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 5:50:28 PM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		With all due respect, because I realize you included this info as background info only - your statement about your wife not thinking you're attracted to her anymore made me want to say ... 'Gee, ya think?'  She's a nympho.  You wouldn't mind fucking any attractive woman you see.  Yet you're not that sexually driven.  Her sex drive is higher and you sometimes have to tell her that you gave her the sex just to appease her.  And you don't need to be slamming her all that often for fear that you won't get any for a month because you know damn well she'll be there to take it when you're ready.  And you'd love to have a third who serves both of you. 

Your wife needs you to slam her stupid as often as possible.  No wonder she doesn't feel she's attractive to you anymore.  She's getting a lot of mixed messages.  Nothing feels worse than being with a partner who you feel doesn't want you (whether it's true or not doesn't truly matter - it's how you feel about it and the reasons behind that).  And add onto that that your partner wants another woman to serve both him and you.  It's a mindfuck, but a negative one.

Sorry, off my soapbox now.  I know this was not asked, but I've been in the position of not being desired by my partner, and whoa ... it sucks. 


As for your actual question ... threesomes always sounded hot to me.  MMF/FFM - the fantasies are great.  I have a sneaking suspicion the reality wouldn't match up for me.  Someone else said on here that they couldn't stand '69' because their attention was divided, and I'm the same way - whether giving or receiving, I want to be wrapped in the sensations, not pulled in different directions.  I think they would bring up too many negative emotions for me to deal with to make it worthwhile.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: ~~You and me and she makes Three~~ - 6/17/2008 9:47:43 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
So the questions, Ladies what is it you think first when you hear about another couple having a Threesome? Do you assume it happned because the Man wanted it? if not what exactly do you feel?

I don't assume, but I know that's probably what it is and wait to find out more info.
quote:


If you have ever been asked to partisipate in a Threesome and choose not too what were your reasons?

Wasn't into the vibe and/or they didn't have a clue what they were doing and/or the chick just wanted to pretend to lick pussy while focused completely on the dude while the dude stood there half in a daze until it was time to me to leave and eat dinner on my own while they fucked.

quote:

If you choose to agree to it what was the reason you agreed?

Good vibes, consciously desiring and experienced people

quote:

 Did it end well or poorly? Do you feel the same way now about the situation as you did then? Why do you think the women that do partisipate in these activities do it?

Most of the time they do it to make the guy happy. 
quote:


For those of you who partisipate in Swinging or Poly or Threesomes of Sexual Openness how do you see these acts?

Those are all amazingly different relationship dynamics.  That's like asking how I see saying hello, marrying someone, having a conversation with someone I just met, and going to a munch all in one sentence.

They are all ways of relating and interacting with others.
quote:


how do you determine thier Design?

Usually mood plus opportunity plus energy plus time

quote:

Do you still get jealous? If so How do you deal with that Jealousy?

Yes, do a search for the terms.  I usually understand the root of it and laugh at myself.

quote:

 Why do you think women who don't partisipate in these activities choose not to or think it's wrong?

Usually because it's not right for them and/or the guy trying to push them into it has no clue how to handle the situation despite his desires.
quote:


I really want to know from a submissive point of view male or female what makes this activity right or wrong in your eyes?

What makes it right to me is making sure the foundation is solid before making any attempts to bring in someone else, knowing that everyone is truly secure and desiring this on their own terms for the good of everyone, and has mutually understood expectations and accepts the responsibilities involved.

Do a search on the terms you're curious about, the poly forum has tons of threads on these issues.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 20
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