Musicmystery
Posts: 16522
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
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Hi everyone,
Having seen newcomer after newcomer repeat the same behavior and issue the same complaints, I thought I’d address this once, with the thought we can continually forward the link to the next batch of newbies.
The whining starts by lamenting that we disdain newcomers, equating stranger with enemy, staying within our clique, and generally fans out from there. First, I should point out that we have often welcomed newcomers, people who are now accepted and respected regulars. But let’s start by considering the former.
Not too long ago, Leonidas pointed out to a newcomer that he was about the millionth newbie to come along and explain to the rest of us that we’re doing it all wrong, here to set us straight. He might have gone on to say that each of these self-appointed Pied Pipers use the same old arguments, with the same old points, with the same old claims and examples that we’ve seen, debated, discussed, explored, tolerated and answered a million times before. Add to this that the typical vanilla poster of this type will have something to say about post after post after post, often resurrecting months old posts to throw in a few points there too.
Then, when the regulars don’t all fall to the newcomer’s feet crying, “Savior! Savior!” but rather suggest looking over some archives or [gasp!] refuting the newbie’s points, the cry of “Disdain! Cliques!” starts. This, however, aggravates the situation, as it flags the poster as defensive and insecure—not exactly Gorean traits.
I’m fairly tolerant of arrogance, as long as it’s backed by some substance. But where do people get the notion that being pushing and obnoxious, misanthropically proclaiming, “I don’t care what anyone thinks! I’m not here to impress anyone!” is in anyway particularly Gorean? Note that in the books, the men greet each other with respect—often even the enemies! Any two year old can throw a tantrum and scream, “No! Me! Mine!” and so in short yeah, if that’s a newcomer’s approach, the newbie just looks ridiculous, and yeah, that’s gonna earn some disdain.
And truth is, even the people who respond to such haughty approaches are trying to do the poster a favor. Most of us simply will ignore the person as not worth our time.
Now, how does that second group of newcomers integrate so smoothly? What’s their secret?
Well, they tend to politely say hello, along with some brief words about their interest in Gor. These posts receive replies of welcome. These newcomers tend to read and learn about the forum, the posters, the topics before dashing in to tell others what to do. They learn to use the search feature to check the archives before commenting.
And they avoid saying (or implying), “Well, I haven’t read the books [or only some of the books], but I’m fully qualified to comment exclusively on Gorean subjects, cause even though I’ve no idea, how hard can it be?” or “Well, I’ve done extensive research on Gor” and then proceed to relate what’s basic, common knowledge.
Lots of newcomers have come here, been welcomed, and are now regulars. Lots of old timers have become tired of the same old bosk shit and moved on. And lots of blustering newbies have complained vociferously about the disdain shown to new folks here and, after several huffy posts, stomped off.
Good riddance to them.
And a hearty welcome to the rest of you!
Live well,
Tim
< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 7/7/2008 11:17:54 AM >
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