LadiesBladewing
Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
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One comment that I would like to make is that, in the end, among those who follow more Gorean philosophies, it is the owner who decides exactly what things a slave can hold on to and what things he or she must give up.
Our girl tells us about -everything-, and this is what we expect. Some things we allow her to take care of on her own, some privacies we do not require that she share... but in the end, it is -our- choice. This is one aspect of the Gorean philosophy that we cherish. Our servant does not say "I won't give you this thing", but -we- may say "It is ok for you to keep that thing, until I say otherwise or ask for it.", either directly or by inference, by not taking it when she tells us about it.
We wouldn't look down on someone who was a submissive individual and who, in the negotiating of their relationship, ended up in a situation where xhe was allowed to say "I won't give up this thing", nor would we be rude or disrespectful towards the dominant individual in such an arrangement, but it is much different than the philosophy that -we- have, where all things are ours, and we may ask for anything at any time, regardless of whether, in the past, we have allowed our servant to "hold on to" that thing. Sometimes, this difference leads to a feeling that, when we exercise our rights with our property, we are "belittling" someone else. That isn't the case. We are merely living under the understanding that -we- have about -our- life and situations. We wouldn't ask such things of someone -else's- property, Gorean or not, but we would not be uncomfortable accepting common courtesies of the Gorean philosophy from our friends' servants, either. Hence, the reason that I have no difficulty when a servant whose owner practices the Gorean-type discipines calls me "Mistress" at some outside gathering, though I have our own girl call me "Mahgi" and SR, in our house, is "Mistress".
In the same manner, our servant would be expected to provide hospitality for a visitor, regardless of that visitor's acceptance of our household's philosophies, because that is what we do. We would tell her what areas she was allowed to provide service -in-, and would guide her in our expectations ahead of time (or take her aside and explain if the visit was not pre-planned.) We would expect the visitor to respect our household's rules for visitors, and not exceed his or her welcome in our home.
At the same time, if he or she had a servant with hir, that servant would be expected to behave with decorum and dignity befitting a submissive individual in our household, but would only be expected to serve in the manner one of our own household servants would -if- his or her owner offered his servant, and told us to have the servant serve in our style of service.
The only rule that we have for guests that impacts service would be that we find it rude and distasteful when a visitor refuses service from our servants, and insists that only his or her own servant can serve hir. We find this especially rude if an individual refuses to allow that servant to serve -anybody- else. Though we would likely not comment at the time, other than a rather sharp elevation in our eyebrow(s), it's a sure way of finding it to be one's last invitation into our home. (And yes, we have had visiting dominants who have been this blatantly ... discourteous.) *chuckles* Otherwise, we usually negotiate with the visiting dominant, well in advance, what hir expectations are about having hir servant help out during the visit.
We truly appreciate the individuals who send their servant to assist ours in taking care of us during a gathering, and if said servant doesn't serve according to our exact protocols, we bear in mind differences in training and owner's preferences, and would never disgrace ourselves or a guest by disciplining his or her servant for something as minor as a simple breach of serving style or not knowing a particular serving style that we use.
Lady Zephyr
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Real life mettings Gorean and non Gorean. - 
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and visit me in my home. Your Master will be treated with the respect I would treat any visiting Master, Gorean or not. As his submissive, I would welcome you and treat you just like i do with any other submissive and place no expectations upon them other than using good manners. You both would not be expected to follow the protocol expected by Gorean visitors. However if it was the wish of your Master, I'd be happy to explain and have demonstrated the normal Gorean protocols and if I hade a slave in residence she would be asked to offer service for refreshment to your Master in a more formal and elaborite serves which I prefer). Again if your Master so requested my slave would help you as necessary so you could see to the requirements of your Master. All in all you both would be treated like friends and guests. Your address terminology to me would be set by your Master. Not being Gorean you would find it acceptable by me to refer to me as Iron Bear, Bear or even IB. If your Master prefered you to use some form of honourific that would be his decision.
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