Let me first make an administrative note about this story. I actually met LadyLupine on another site but we reconnected after a seperation on collarme. I am currently Her slave and live in boyfriend. I am also now Her cuckold.
I would like to begin this story by revealing what my feelings were about cuckolding before my experience with it. I had read stories written by other couples who had been practicing cuckolding and I had seen sissy boy cock sucking porn under the veil of 'cuckold' porn. I knew that the basic premise was a marriage where where the husband is monogamous and the wife is promiscuous. The husband is either unable to pleasure his wife or he is too meek to voice his concern. Humiliation is a huge theme in cuckolding and a personal favorite of mine. Sometimes the husband is put into chastity to ensure he is also tormented physically as well as mentally. Often times the husband is forced to enjoy a 'cream pie' consisting of semen sucked from the wifes vagina. Sometimes the husband is even forced to perform sexual favors for the wife and her many lovers. The main tenant however is the mental torture endured by the husband who is forced to watch the woman he loves pleasured by another man, whether or not he is able to himself or not. The wife is allowed to enjoy any man she choses and the husband is forced to endure the savage roller coaster of emotions conjured from watching infidelity.
The mental torture and suffering that comes from watching your mate befriend other mates was put on the back burner in my mind. I was looking forward to the joy of humiliation and voyeurism. I wasn't in the least bit insecure about our relationship and I had certainly seen and done far more kinky activities than cuckolding to consider it any challenge. I knew that she was having sex with other men and I regularly encouraged it. I never took into consideration that I was never present at the time and how that might affect me emotionally. This my friends is a true story about cuckolding and a rare glimpse into the real power of cuckolding: emotion.
I received a phone call during the day in which I was informed that Phil would be arriving at the apartment at about the same time as I was. When I came in the door I could hear them talking in the bedroom. They were on my computer looking at pictures he had taken in Australia. He was a young man and better looking than I had imagined despite how relatively uncaring I was about mens looks. Immediately the situation was different than any of the endlessly fabricated cuckold stories and pornography. This wasn't some big black man who had only stopped by to get laid. He was a young, attractive, and interesting man in much the same way as myself. Phil and I even had some mutual interests. This made the whole situation even more uncomfortable than I could have imagined. She had actually known him and been friends with him longer than me. This man was what I never imagined. He was a perfectly qualified mate. Even though I didn't lose my composure or faith in our relationship I couldn't keep my mind off the fact that he was more than just a fuck buddy.
As the evening went on I began to feel more and more like the guest and less and less like one of the hosts. They sat together on the sofa while I was across the room on the other couch. She kept her feet propped up on his legs the whole evening and he was never shy about massaging them for her. I often saw her stealing gazes at him but never at me. Admittedly I was there all the time and this was a limited engagement. I wasn't bothered by the fact that she was paying more attention to him because I thought he deserved it. This was a special trip and he had come out just to see her. I suppose that is really what made me feel like the guest. The whole evening was about them spending time together and I was only there out of a matter of my inconveniently having no other place to be. My nerves were on high alert the whole evening and even though a stiff breeze of uncomfortable air never left my side I felt a kind of warm embrace from watching them together.
The gravity of the situation had been slowly taking shape throughout the course of the night. I had to be to work early the next morning and the extremely uncomfortable affair of me removing my things from the bedroom in order to retire on the couch was extremely humiliating. As I felt the bedroom door close behind me I could here him say 'Goodnight'. He said it in that short, crisp, and artificially friendly way that people do when they are glad to have relatives out of the house after a long day. I settled in on the couch, moving pillows and blankets around until I was comfortable. Little did I realize that the worst was still to come.
Perhaps the greatest shock to my system came when I heard the music coming from the bedroom. This wasn't just any music. This was OUR music. This was the music that she had always played when we were intimate. I realized at that moment when my heart sank into my chest that there had never been anything special about that music. All the times we had ever been together now seemed a slight bit less important knowing that they were more generic than I had ever considered. I felt as though my heart were breaking and yet somehow I was still happy for the two of them. I was careful not to make to much noise while trying as hard as possible to hear what was being said. All I could make out was 'well he was in Germany' interspersed between some laughing and giggling. At no time had I ever felt less welcome in my own home. I felt as though my mere presence from the other room was putting a damper on their enjoyment.
About this time I felt something I had heard about but never expected would happen to me. I felt jealous. I didn't feel just a wee bit jealous, but a lot jealous. Every tender moment, soft caress, and loving kiss that had ever transpired came flooding back to me and I wanted nothing more in the whole world than to hold her in my arms. My nerves had taken all they could handle for one evening and I eventually cradled myself to sleep.
The whole next day I felt as though I was about to burst out into tears even though I couldn't have shed a drop to save my life. I can only compare the experience to those moments when your think you're about to sneeze but cannot. I think any tears that would have fallen would have been a mix of sorrow and joy. I had finally experienced the beautiful joy of cuckolding first hand. I had taken my first step into a larger world of satisfaction. No amount of physical pain or verbal humiliation could ever hold a candle to joys of emotional domination. As a truly submissive man at heart I know I have found the happiness that filled my dreams as a young boy. I look forward to taking larger steps into cuckolding and emotional domination, and encourage any couple who is truly in love and wants to experience all the wonderful flavors it has to offer to give it a try as well.
< Message edited by sfdrew -- 7/15/2008 5:34:51 AM >