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Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 7:19:17 AM

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Using a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being basically androgynous, and 10 being the ultimate in femininity, submissives, how feminine is your ideal domina? Whatever criteria you personally attach to femininity is fine - body type, the way she dresses and smells, painted fingernails and toes, earrings, makeup, etc. Just figure 10 is a very "girlie girl" and 1 is more masculine in appearance.

Where does your ideal land on that scale? Do things like painted fingernails, feminine hairstyles, makeup impact your impression?

Akasha

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 8:13:19 AM

faerytattoodgirl

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i want a 10......i'd accept a 9...because she doesnt have to wear dresses n skirts to be feminine....femininity is mostly a personality and not outward appearance although outward appearance is very nice to look at.

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 9:04:12 AM

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maybe a 6?
I don't like too femme, and I don't like too masculine, but eh... 6 is a good number!

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 9:04:36 AM

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As far as appearance goes, I can find something beautiful or enthralling about all types of women, and I honestly have no preference as far as how they like their hair, clothing, style, etc., so long as they're comfortable with it. What I do like to see in a potential domme is within the mind. I look for confidence, wisdom, intelligence, and a feminine outlook/attitude. If she feels the need to paint her nails or spend an hour or more applying makeup and such, I can at the very least appreciate the time she spent doing that, as it's time she'll never get back...but I can also appreciate what she used, what she did, and what sort of statment (if any) she's making without words.

So, I guess I got a bit long-winded, but the femininity of her appearance (or lack thereof) is nigh irrelevant to me; it's the femininity of her behavior, character, and personality that make the biggest impression on me. For a number, I'd love a 10, but 8 will do just fine.

Just my $0.02...

< Message edited by Einzelganger -- 8/15/2008 9:05:52 AM >

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 9:24:39 AM

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Hmmm. You've gotten me thinking. For me, interest in the external components is normally situation. What matters to me is the way a woman, particularly a dominant woman, thinks. i believe, and i recognize that this may be personal bias, that there is a distinctly female mindset, a female way of relating to the world, and it is much more important to me than how she looks. i say that knowing full well that i absolutely salivate over the way the Captain looks.

Still, i do find that i'm generally drawn to women who are more androgynous while still recognizably female. i guess that would be a range from about 1 to 6 on your scale, with the occasional 7 or 8. Heavy frills and makeup and such don't truly have much appeal. After reflecting on this, i realized that i personally tend to associate that level 10 external femininity with the stereotypical "weak" or "helpless" woman. It was an odd thing to realize about myself. i'll have to think about it a bit more.

Thank you.

Edited to Add: Just out of curiosity, why did you make the lower end of your scale, the 1, equate to androgynous rather than masculine?

< Message edited by softandshy -- 8/15/2008 9:58:10 AM >

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 9:28:15 AM

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I concur with alot of what softandshy said. I do like women with a very feminine mindset, though; it helps to balance out their dominant nature, in my humble opinion.

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 9:48:46 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softandshy

Edited to Add: Just out of curiosity, why did you make the lower end of your scale, the 0, equate to androgynous rather than masculine?

I'm not sure. It's so much a matter of semantics and how we interpret words. I think in my head, the idea of a "masculine woman" would equate to androgynous..

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 10:01:42 AM

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Semantics, or psychology? It's almost as if you've identified the opposite idea to my issue with 10s in yourself. Or am i mistaken in thinking that?

i'm always interested in how socialized expectations play out in these sorts of things.

< Message edited by softandshy -- 8/15/2008 10:49:18 AM >

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 10:08:24 AM

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I don't know where on the scale to place her, but yes, she would definitely be feminine. It's why I serve a woman rather than a man.

However, with that being said, I don't consider "feminine" to necessarily mean she has to fill the points you mention in your post, such as painted fingernails and all that stuff. That stuff means very little to me. Make up means very little to me. Even dress is not that important, as I am most attracted to a woman who is dressed in what makes her feel most comfortable, not in what type of eye candy she feels she needs to portray to attract me.

One of my greatest relationships involved a woman who was exactly that. She dressed as she felt comfortable, and I loved it. She also tended to like dressing up in very feminine styles, mainly because that made her feel sexy. So, a balance can be set by her, depending on what makes her feel is best suited to her own style and desires.

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 12:21:02 PM

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Mm... let me think. Both counts.

Face (natural), clothing and behavior: 9 or more
Body: 5 or more

Average: 8 or more. :)

Makeup can make prettier, but does not count.

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 1:33:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I don't know where on the scale to place her, but yes, she would definitely be feminine. It's why I serve a woman rather than a man.

However, with that being said, I don't consider "feminine" to necessarily mean she has to fill the points you mention in your post, such as painted fingernails and all that stuff. That stuff means very little to me. Make up means very little to me. Even dress is not that important, as I am most attracted to a woman who is dressed in what makes her feel most comfortable, not in what type of eye candy she feels she needs to portray to attract me.

One of my greatest relationships involved a woman who was exactly that. She dressed as she felt comfortable, and I loved it. She also tended to like dressing up in very feminine styles, mainly because that made her feel sexy. So, a balance can be set by her, depending on what makes her feel is best suited to her own style and desires.

Totally agree. I think my attraction to females is an important part of my submission. And having a dom that is feminine really helps. So that being said, I'd say anywhere above a 5 is golden from the appearance side of the house.

As for demeanor, I'm not sure how much femininity really matters. Not to be overly stereotypical, but there are times when I do enjoy a caring type dom (Stereotypical female trait), but I also enjoy a forceful and harsh dom (Your stereotypical male trait). So I guess it's a middle ground in that regard.

Bottom line, I like pretty ladies!

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/15/2008 3:12:46 PM

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Hm. My physical ideal for women is definitely an odd mix of androgyny and femininity. I think most women look better with minimal-to-no make-up, and long nails just seem terribly impractical to me. Fashion-wise... well, I appreciate women who have a unique sense of style. Generic "feminine" doesn't do any more (or less) for me than generic "butch."

Call it a four, if you're collecting data points.

I'm not sure what people are referring to when they talk about feminine mindset / behavior... but the stereotypes that come to mind are not traits that I associate with the kind of women I'm attracted to. But that doesn't seem to be what you're asking about, really.

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/17/2008 8:26:38 AM

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My Ideal Mistress Should Not Be Very feminine, More like a Sof Bucth, That is My preference, Sexy, Pretty, But More on the Masculine Type, Someone That Could Rough Me Up, and I Will Love Every Minute Of It, # one On My Scale

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/17/2008 6:35:01 PM

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I would like her to be a 9 or 10. I like a woman who is a woman and knows it. She likes to dress up, she likes her nails done, she likes her hair done, she likes being a woman and being pampered.

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/18/2008 5:54:54 AM

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about a 5 ...or a 4 though i have painted lots of toenails in this life

i am so hot for intelligence, got all hard and swollen yesterday at starbucks when i saw a woman...a real woman...not still trying to dress like a barbi doll or a hell's angel or satan's whore - reading james joyce...
but was with my domme and her husband on the way to a nail appointment for them both...almost wo hours...sort of the whole day ...i was driving as they were both buzzed...and ummm starbucks was breakfast...for me...they had bloody mary's ...and yes they will read this ...as always, sort of read it all blurry though ...but won't catch the subtle tone...money and intelligence are not part and parcel

think i would do anything for the librarian type...big brain - not big breast...no bald young little girlie girls for me

thin bookish pale...
emotionally mature...
like over 40 and over seventeen magazine all together ....
regular nails not bitten emo black and skulls and funeral style...
just someone that doesn't think about what she looks like all the time...
doesn't consider her looks an asset that can be played like a trump card....
clean but not bathed in Nair and dripping perfume...
might even toss the Frisbee with me on the beach...even if she gets sand on her feet and even if she might sweat and even if she hadn;t shaved her underarms just moments before coming to the beach
and no, not necessarily an athlete...but a mover between books at least ...she must not ever be ashamed of sweating...you know...ummm like a real human being...in lincoln park after dark...rather than wearing it

unfortunate as these women do not exist in my experience...but i stop by the library often :)
gives me hope
dreaming and hope keeps you from "a bloody mary or two"
at least for breakfast

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/18/2008 10:14:38 AM

Daes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BiteGirl

maybe a 6?
I don't like too femme, and I don't like too masculine, but eh... 6 is a good number!

That sounds right for me, too ^_^

I just don't see myself compatible with someone who's too feminine.

Would love to have a woman my height or taller, curvy, beautiful, and strong. I'm not attracted to frail, thin women.

< Message edited by Daes -- 8/18/2008 10:18:04 AM >

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/18/2008 10:30:10 AM

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I go back and forth whether I want a Dominant at all, but my ideal is light femme or soft butch. a woman who would feel ok wearing a dress/skirt, but is just as comfy in a pair of scruffy jeans and flannel shirt. Definately NOT a woman who has to put on makeup to take out the trash.

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/18/2008 11:38:11 AM

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8-10 for femme on the scale .I have no desire to play with a linebacker from the N F L .

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/18/2008 4:33:32 PM

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7-9

Physically I like femmy but athletic.

The femmier She is the greater the discontiuity between femmy expectation and domination. "She's a sweet thing but swings a mighty sword" sort of mind warp.

A 10 would be a lacy china doll with a taser. I don't know if I could get my mind around it.

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RE: Your ideal Mistress: Is she feminine? - 8/18/2008 5:44:35 PM

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I'd have to go with feminine body, masculine personality.

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