RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude?

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 2:16:32 AM

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If i'm doing a drop and run ... i don't call ... you know driving past and returning something i borrowed or an invite - into the mail box and i'm off ... if i'm seeking a 'visit' always ring ... even if i'm about to turn into their street ... it just gives a heads up for them, and if they aren't home it's not a wasted detour, regardless of how short a detour it is. It's polite to them and to you ...

(in reply to chamberqueen)

RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 2:42:40 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I always make arrangements first.

And you do NOT want to drop by my place without asking first-I see it as assuming, and I will bite your bloody head off for doing that.

What about if I turned up wrapped in only a ribbon and bow, sitting inside a small wheeled carriage pulled by 4 pony girls, with a bottle of Louis XIII Cognac in one hand, a riding crop clenched between my teeth and the other hand clutching a basket of exotic cheese and fruit?

(in answer to the OP I HATE when people drop by unannounced and I've never done it to someone else. I consider it rude)

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 2:43:41 AM

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I don't know that I consider it rude to drop in unannounced but I do know that I don't like it. I do feel it lacks some sense; after all, ya never know what somebody could be up to! A phone call from the end of the driveway would be much better. The few times I hear a knock at the door with no heads up, I simply don't answer. It's a bit at odds with my upbringing (European/Southern American parentage..open door policy on both sides), but it's who I've developed into over time.

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 4:08:52 AM

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I never "drop in" on someone without calling first and I have declined to answer the door on more than one occasion when someone else did not do me the courtesy of calling first.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 5:05:51 AM

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I don't drop in on people without calling first and I really don't like when people just turn up at my door. That happens a lot because I always let them in. They know they run the risk of me going back upstairs to bed which means they have to keep me company there til I fall back to sleep.

Pretty much an open door policy here, you can crash if you're in the neighborhood and need a place, my bed is big and so very comfortable and I've 2 other bedrooms if buddy sleeping isn't your style.
My fridge is available but if unannounced then you have to cook. If I'm up and cooking then you're welcome at my table. Most bring something to grill and their own beer since I don't drink its rarely in the house.

I do ask that people not spend hours and hours here, unless you've checked with me first and asked if I'm up for a long visit.

All my friends know that there are times when I just need to go lay down, it doesn't mean they have to leave but they will have to entertain themselves for awhile. Since I've become (ill, disabled or whatever you call this crap) my social life has totally changed. Friends are used to flopping on my bed and hanging out with me, they are totally used to seeing me in jammies. Best of all I have several friends who are very okay with it and seem to understand.

Family is not allowed without a prior call (alert) so that I have time to put 'stuff' away and out of sight but they rarely are in the area anyway.

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 5:15:01 AM

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I dont think it is rude as much as it is selfish. Just becasue you are there you now assume that the friend you are ropping in on will stop what they are doing to entertain you, even if it is for a few minutes. Once you knock on the door and they answer, my guess is most people would consider it rude of THEM to send you on your way at that point. You've forced them into a corner where they have to invite you in even if its only for a bit.
I dont even stop in on the boys unannounced. Angel wil probably not be home unless I have plans with him and he tells me he wil be, between work and the few friends he has in the are, hes a busy boy. Whe Fox lived on campus, he had a roommate, and to drop in was to come in on both of them.
Dropping in, keep in mind, affected EVERYONE in the house at the time.

My 2 cents
DV

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 5:46:39 AM

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i think it depends culturally too.

here in aus, it seems to be pretty common for friends and family to drop in if they're in the area. it's not something i've ever encouraged (i'm from the midwest) but i also don't turn them away if they're known to me.

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 5:49:28 AM

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I really think it depends on who, what, where, when, why, how.

Out here in the boonies of Iowa, it's not rude at all. It's neighbourly. There are conditions to neighbourly and that is a rather specific but vague (to those that don't GET IT) qualification.

Example: If you know me, you know that dropping in at 6 AM on a Saturday or Sunday is perfectly fine. You will also know that my state of dress may be questionable and you will have to deal (because it isn't going to bother me). You will also know that dropping by after 8PM will gain you limited conversation, and a short visit. Unless of course you are "special to me". aka......interesting enough to keep me awake. Otherwise I will excuse myself to head off to bed shortly into your visit.

Around here it's just a matter of knowing the people and their personal habits. When it is appropriate, if at all, and when it isn't.

Edited to add...........There really are people that don't have any phone at all. I know a few that live out in the country, end of a long lane, no phone. They just don't see a need to have one.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/25/2008 5:52:34 AM >

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 6:11:01 AM

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yeah, I've noticed that 'country' drop in rules tend to differ, generally, than 'city' drop in etiquette

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 6:38:40 AM

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This is tricky for me.

If someone showed up at MY door unannounced; I would invite them in, feed them, and make sure that they felt welcome. I would never see it as being rude on their part; no matter what I was doing or had planned.

However, I would never presume to impose my company on another. I would call first; to do otherwise would seem rude and inconsiderate.

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 7:04:48 AM

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I'm going to try not to kijack here, but people without phones..........

Or sometimes people with phones, Uncle Ano. Not my Uncle, but an old guy who lived in a trailer in Utah. They had a program where they got old people phones, so he had one. They came by, installed it, showed him how to use it.

There is videotape of Uncle Ano re : the telephone.

Jim : So you have a phone now, what's the number ?
Ano : Dunno
Jim : Does it ring ?
Ano : It did ring
Jim : What did you do ?
Ano : Nothing, it stopped on it's own

Uncle Ano's trailer was heated by coal, all year long. He kept the fire going all year because "You know it's going to get cold again".

Kinda like the Clampetts "Every time I hear those bells I look to find where the sound is coming from, then someone knocks at the door".

I guess there are some people you have to just drop in or you never see them.

T

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 9:05:39 AM

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Oh Termy you just made me think of an old guy I used to know. The man was known world wide in draft horse circles for his prize Belgian horses. He has bred and sold some of the most prized horses of this type that exists.If you googled his name he would be all over the place.

I never knew any of this stuff. To me he was just "Jigs" the delightful bent over old man that lived down the road from my brothers farm. Someone that would always come out to say hello. He was old and bent, walked with a cane. Wore a hat that was older than all of us put together and his sneakers were duct taped together. He spent more time in the barn than in the house. The barn was in better shape and, he liked to be close to the mares when they were foaling. The house had holes in the roof big enough a grown man could fall through.

He did not have a phone but dearly loved when we stopped by and asked him about his horses and his years in the calvary as a young man.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 9:07:19 AM

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LaT .. sounds like a totally rockin person to know :) I love people that can tell me stuff that ISNT in the books, ya know what I mean?

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 9:10:46 AM

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Greedy I do also. Even when I was little I loved visiting with the elderly people in my neighbourhood. I learned so much.

One of the most important people in my life was an older widow that lived next door to my family.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 9:22:41 AM

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*sighs* I miss living in a place like that

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 1:32:24 PM

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I think a call first is a good idea if for no other reason than to verify that I'm home. Where I live and many of my friends live (about 40 minutes apart) people generally don't just happen to be in the neighborhood.
I always call first and I don't invite myself over to people's homes. However some of my friends always say, drop by any time no need to call first. So some people prefer drop ins.

Interestingly as far as drop ins go, a couple of weeks ago one night there was a quiet knock at my door, which is very unusual. An attractive young woman was there looking for someone else who lived in the building. She asked to borrow my phone to call them. Turns out she was a prostitute looking for new clientelle as her incall appointment had stood her up.

The things you learn about your neighbors habits...

And no I didn't. She was a rather high priced call girl. It's also just not my thing.

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 3:40:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aperversetwist

Turns out she was a prostitute looking for new clientelle as her incall appointment had stood her up

I meant outcall

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 4:17:09 PM

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where i grew up in New Zealand, you did your visiting in time for morning or afternoon tea. And if you wanted cake or cookies you had better call a day or two ahead (home baking ya know). The family always called, i think to give my mum time to clean up the house, friends would occasionally call in unannounced - though my mum didn't really like it. She prefered the house to be immaculate - as if 6 kids didn't live there!

.

Here, i enjoy my friends and family coming by - but you had better call first - especially if you aren't lifestyle, since i am alway naked in the house. For me, i always call first - it strikes me as common courtesy.

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 4:24:47 PM

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No, I haven't made an unexpected visit, mainly because I don't want someone doing it to me! Who knows what I might be doing

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RE: Is "dropping by to say hello" rude? - 8/25/2008 4:35:07 PM

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I have an open door policy at my home. I welcome anyone who knows me..be it my best friends or just casual friends, to stop by anytime they like. Company is always..well almost always..welcome.

I don't find it rude nor do they need to call first. People stop by our house all the time and usually at all hours. I personally don't mind and love to catch up with old friends or acquaintances, help my friends through rough times, etc..

(in reply to chamberqueen)

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