Seeking opinions and thoughts on D/s for a book. (Full Version)

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Mizziness -> Seeking opinions and thoughts on D/s for a book. (9/2/2008 6:09:29 PM)

I am seeking a few folks to interview, discretely, for an upcoming book on formal D/s (which is D/s based on a core of power exchange and not sexual relations or BDSM.)  I would prefer interviews to be held over chat, email or another electronic medium.  I have a slew of topics that I would like comments, insight, and opinions on, so please take a look at the list below and if you have anything you'd like to say on any of these topics, or on anything else specifically, please let me know!  I can't offer any compensation for the help, but I am going to list everyone who allows it in the thank-you section of the book as either their first name, last initial or their preferred pen-name or monicker.

If you would like to participate, send me a PM, please!  I am conducting interviews of Dom/mes, submissives, switches, and anyone else who would like to.
  • The definition(s) of D/s
  • The normalcy of D/s
  • Common misconceptions and stereotypes
  • The difference between D/s and “normal” relationships
  • What every Dominant should know before starting out
  • What every submissive should know before starting out
  • Common pitfalls and how to avoid them
  • Communication: how to do it and how not to do it
  • Should Dominants and submissives learn both sides of the D/s coin?
  • The different types of tops or Dominants
  • The different types of bottoms or subs
  • What a Dominant is and/or could be, including responsibilities
  • Traits of a good Dominant
  • What a submissive is and/or could be, including responsibilities
  • Traits of a good submissive
  • Is respect just for submissives?
  • Identifying needs vs. wants
  • Polyamory and monogamy in D/s
  • Punishments: What is too much and what is not enough
  • Rewards: To spoil or not to spoil?
  • Fixing problems in a D/s relationship from the perspective of both a submissive and a Dominant
  • What training should a submissive receive?
  • What training should a Dominant receive?
  • Courting a submissive or Dominant: do's and don'ts
  • How open about your lifestyle are you?
  • How to find like-minded people



DesFIP -> RE: Seeking opinions and thoughts on D/s for a book. (9/2/2008 7:17:55 PM)

I don't think you will find too many people who have a D/s relationship who do not also have a sexual one.



Mizziness -> RE: Seeking opinions and thoughts on D/s for a book. (9/3/2008 3:06:41 AM)

I didn't say a non-sexual relationship, I said a relationship which, at its core, is not BASED on sex or BDSM, but instead, power exchange.



DesFIP -> RE: Seeking opinions and thoughts on D/s for a book. (9/3/2008 9:26:51 AM)

And I don't think relationships can be neatly cut and drawn like that. If you need a compatible sex partner then the sex relationship is as important as the D/s one. Same goes for needing love and support, they are as important as the sexual compatibility and as important as the D/s compatibility, as the kink compatibility.

All these things are equally important. Without all my needs being met, I wouldn't be in the relationship. What you are asking for is for people who would stay in the relationship with only one need being met. Offhand there's only one regular poster here who comes to mind as having such a relationship.



Patrick2005 -> RE: Seeking opinions and thoughts on D/s for a book. (9/3/2008 10:48:11 AM)

I suppose the "non-sexual bdsm" thing depends on your definition of sex.  I have known of at least two D/s relationships, and a bunch of spanking/spankee relationships, which did not involve intercourse or other stimulation of sex organs. 



azropedntied -> RE: Seeking opinions and thoughts on D/s for a book. (9/3/2008 11:57:34 AM)

I could answer all those above questions but then who's book would it be ? Mine as i gave you all the answers ? me as a co-author? Or you do your own seeking and research to discover  for yourself what those questions mean to you ?BDSM and D/s  is not defined  for most in manual  plain and simple text book terms , individual practices vary across the board .
Each one of those questions  could be a class all in itself , and if you gave  just those topics to different presenters sure they may have some commonalities but they shall differ from person to person .



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