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You want it when? - 9/11/2008 7:11:57 AM   
AlwaysLisa


Posts: 1062
Joined: 10/6/2006
From: Washington State
Status: offline 		Greetings,

Why do women seem to have less patience then men?   There are exceptions, but for the most part men seem to have a gene that allows them to remain calm, cool and collected while exhibiting great amounts of patience.  

Why is that?  Most women I know struggle with or have struggled in the past to find that serenity.  Yet, with men it seems inherited.  

Just something I was pondering after a discussion about the differences in men and women :) 

Lisa

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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 7:28:36 AM   
Maahsatti


Posts: 2579
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings Lisa,

LOL...Are you kidding here?
It has always been known, that women are more long suffering then men and why women in general are the more active paticipant in bringing up, or rather, dealing and coping with the Ums.
Women are the one's who tend to send out the thank you cards and invitations, the one's to make all the plans for a party or family function, they do most of the Holiday shopping and making sure all those reletives get a card at least, etc etc..I could go on and on and on, but do not feel I need to in order to make my point here....lol

Men , sure can be and often times are, very laid back and calm, but thats because it is the woman who is running around like a chicken with her head cut off, getting things done and making sure all is in order.

of course there are those exceptions and of course this is just my opinion......so far....lol
So in light of all this activity, women deal with, I can see why patience could run thin at times.

I wish you well,
Maahsatti

< Message edited by Maahsatti -- 9/11/2008 7:30:56 AM >

_____________________________

Gorean women, whether slave or Free,know, that their simple presence, brings joy to men,and I cannot think but that this pleases them.
Outlaw of Gor, pg 54

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 7:38:30 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2149
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		Ohman! speaking of slave sufferage. LOL!!!! (someone HAD tooooo)

I have to agree with FW Maah here. I also believe that patience is even rougher on a person who is a perfectionist. I have known other women as well as men that will tell you the hell it that it is at times.

*shudders* yikes! just thinking about it.


Happy Thursday!!

-smilezz-




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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 8:21:43 AM   
dawntreader


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Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: smilezz


...that patience is even rougher on a person who is a perfectionist. I have known other women as well as men that will tell you the hell it that it is at times.
-smilezz-


i could not agree more! i am a virgo and a perfectionist with a serious character flaw in the "patience" department!
 
i am working on it and i think i am doing alot better but i could do ALOT better! LOL!

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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 8:24:10 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2149
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		*chucklez*

Ohhhhh, do I ever understand that. Capricorn - German - female ...... I was doomed from the start. LOL!!





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=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 8:26:30 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		 Yea, i have the German component as well - doomed

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 8:42:41 AM   
Maahsatti


Posts: 2579
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		Howdy smilez.

Scottish Leo, here...lol

FW Maah


_____________________________

Gorean women, whether slave or Free,know, that their simple presence, brings joy to men,and I cannot think but that this pleases them.
Outlaw of Gor, pg 54

(in reply to smilezz)
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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 8:43:55 AM   
Anarrus


Posts: 475
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline 		Patience comes from the latin word pati..to suffer, to endure, to bear. Patience is something that can be learned, honed and used as a tool.  It's a double-edged sword and knowing when to use it seems pretty important to me. Showing too much patience in the wrong situation can give imply weakness and/or indifference, while showing patience in the right situation will imply strength of character and self-control. 
Knowing when to use it and when not to, I believe, is called wisdom.
Here's some food for thought.. How does patience differ from serenity? It's been often said patience is a virtue but is it a Gorean virtue? What are some examples of when it might serve a Gorean's best interest to be patient, and when not?

ok...for the females only....essays are due by Friday evening with copies sent to Orion, Tim, Bull, Leonidas, Kirata, Malkinius and any others I may have missed!! :-D

Iwyw

Anarrus
edited out a '

< Message edited by Anarrus -- 9/11/2008 8:49:19 AM >

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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 8:48:49 AM   
amelliagrace


Posts: 1792
Joined: 8/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlwaysLisa

Greetings,

Why do women seem to have less patience then men?   There are exceptions, but for the most part men seem to have a gene that allows them to remain calm, cool and collected while exhibiting great amounts of patience.  

Why is that?  Most women I know struggle with or have struggled in the past to find that serenity.  Yet, with men it seems inherited.  

Just something I was pondering after a discussion about the differences in men and women :) 

Lisa


My personal observations are a bit different from yours.
 
What I've seen in my life, relationships, and observing those around me is that men and women seem to exhibit patience - or the lack of - in different areas of life or tasks.  The fact that there is so much variability from person to person makes it even more difficult, for me at least, to say with any degree of certainty whether or not, overall, there is an appreciable difference in the amount of patience had by men, as opposed to women.
 
*Grin*  Then, of course, comes the question of where patience and tenacity run congruent, and where they diverge.  I've also seen myriad cases where what looked like "patience" was, in fact, under the veneer, "don't give a shit".
 
Regards-
Grace

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 8:51:38 AM   
Anarrus


Posts: 475
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline 		hello grace,

Yep, tenacity and indifference, along with serenity, can also be misunderstood as patience.

Be well,
Anarrus

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"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free."...Goethe
"Send lawyers, guns and money" ..Warren Zevon

(in reply to amelliagrace)
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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 9:15:24 AM   
justgemmie


Posts: 243
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Anarrus

Knowing when to use it and when not to, I believe, is called wisdom.
Here's some food for thought.. How does patience differ from serenity? It's been often said patience is a virtue but is it a Gorean virtue? What are some examples of when it might serve a Gorean's best interest to be patient, and when not?
Anarrus


greetings Masters and Mistresses
greetings slaves

*smiles* greetings Master Annarus

when i was married we were going to buy a house.  walking to the house to meet with the owners and to negotiate the price we would pay and they would take, i was told "DO NOT speak first.  the first one to speak loses and you'll know When i'm talking about."  so we get there and it's all fun and we're chatting and the Men begin to discuss the price.  now we Know they want to get rid of this house cause they built another.  they Know we have fallen in love with it.  the owner says He wants "X" and my ex says we'll pay "Y".  and the room falls silent.

my ex is a salesman and has been all His life. He has patience down pat.  unfortunately i do not and i was the one that eventually broke the silence.  we got the house, not a bad deal but they got the better of us and it was all my fault.

no, we were not Gorean at the time (for which i am extremely grateful now because He would have beaten me to a pulp and been right to do it).  but i thought perhaps this was a good example ~~ His mastery of Himself in this situation, and His being able to make a better deal therefore taking care of Himself and His own.

well wishes,
gemmie

edit to take out some joking that may not have been appropriate

< Message edited by justgemmie -- 9/11/2008 9:16:43 AM >

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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 9:15:31 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2149
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ok...for the females only....essays are due by Friday evening with copies sent to Orion, Tim, Bull, Leonidas, Kirata, Malkinius and any others I may have missed!! :-D


EVIL!



*grinz*

Have a spectacular day!

-smilezz-




_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 9:29:36 AM   
Thadius


Posts: 5091
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline 		Tal Anarrus,

I learned long ago about both sides of patience by playing chess, in which the goal is to be patient enough to wait for your opponent to make a mistake, or at times to be "impatient" enough to force your opponent to make a mistake.  I agree with your summation about knowing when to be or not to be patient as being wise.  It displays an understanding of one's self in comparison to their surroundings, and thus can only be learned through the trials and errors of life.

Patience can be a valuable tool in judging the value of many sorts of things, people, projects, or proposals.  So too, can knowing where the limits of your own patience is in that determination.

I wish you well,
Thadius

P.S. Please don't forget to forward a copy of the essays, I do enjoy reading.

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When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends." ~ Japanese Proverb

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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 9:40:22 AM   
Anarrus


Posts: 475
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline 		Tal Thadius,

Agreed, chess is an excellent way to learn patience. Never thought of it in that way before but your description is spot on.
Copies will certainly be forward to you.... girls, add him to the list. :-)

Iwyw

Anarrus

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"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free."...Goethe
"Send lawyers, guns and money" ..Warren Zevon

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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 10:07:30 AM   
Zarius


Posts: 184
Joined: 2/9/2007
Status: offline 		Tal all..

Join the military... hurry up and wait, teaches you patience also...


I want my copy of the essay too.

I wish you well.


(in reply to Anarrus)
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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 10:08:18 AM   
opposingtwilight


Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline 		Hijack start ...

quote:

ORIGINAL: justgemmie
no, we were not Gorean at the time (for which i am extremely grateful now because He would have beaten me to a pulp and been right to do it).  but i thought perhaps this was a good example ~~ His mastery of Himself in this situation, and His being able to make a better deal therefore taking care of Himself and His own.

well wishes,
gemmie


gemmie, you do realize that this statement makes it seem as if you feel that violent tendencies go hand in hand with being a Gorean ... Or at least a Gorean master, right? Which, I would wager is not the case as the rest of your post did not come across that way at all.

Might he have punished you? Oh probably. But punishment is not akin to "being beaten to a pulp" ... I only say this so that anyone else who comes along won't read and think, Dang! Gorean men are crazy! They beat their women to a pulp when they speak out of turn! ... 'Cause, thats not true.

If it was, I'd be pulpified many times over. -ahem-

End Hijack ...

----------

I do not believe that men are more patient than women or vice versa. I think that different people can be more patient than others and that men and women can be patient in different ways. I also agree with the statements that tenacity or disinterest can also be confused with patience.


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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 10:09:15 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2149
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ok...for the females only....essays are due by Friday evening with copies sent to Orion, Tim, Bull, Leonidas, Kirata, Malkinius and any others I may have missed!! :-D


All sent!


-smilezz-










(i am so going to pay for this, i just know it!)

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 10:10:02 AM   
Kirata


Posts: 6358
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlwaysLisa

men seem to have a gene that allows them to remain calm, cool and collected while exhibiting great amounts of patience. Why is that?  Most women I know struggle with or have struggled in the past to find that serenity.  Yet, with men it seems inherited.  

Nah, it's learned ...from dealing with women. Heh.
 
K.
 

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 11:09:14 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4211
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline 		Hi Lisa,

Ditto what Kirata said.

I figure patience comes with maturity.  Some people acquire it sooner, others later, and some never do.

Most people aren't born with patience.  I think the only way we learn it is first by trying to 'quickly' attain goals, and fail immediately, then making choices to patiently work towards goals and ultimately be rewarded for that patience.

Regards,

Stephan

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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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RE: You want it when? - 9/11/2008 11:57:34 AM   
LarabysLair


Posts: 156
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline 		Tal All and Lisa

While I can't say I've noticed what you describe exactly, I have noticed that some men - certain types of men - seem to exhibit unusual patience. But, I'm wondering if some of that is not more a wise application of knowing when to strike and whether to. Sizing up the situation and forming a plan of action or inaction based on past knowledge is a human ability but seems more often used by the males (At least in the parts of social life you may be alluding to.)

Also, women sometimes become so emotionally invested in the outcomes, that they forget the benefits of wise and knowledgeable preconsideration and the attendant serenity or "wait it out" behaviors. It may be in some of these cases that the survival instinct is triggered in the female, while in the male it is not. Adrenal gland then may move the processing into the limbic system or the reptilian brain. I believe that the most serene and carefully considered responses seem to come from the higher brain of cerebral cortex. There may be more of such situations for females than males - just a guess.

Just my copper tarsk bit

L L
owner of the Lair

_____________________________

"The free woman," I said, "lies down and waits to see what will happen. The female slave kneels beside her Master and begs to please him. The free woman deems it sufficient that she should exist, the slave girl ... is expected to excel." - savages p197

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