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wondering - 9/16/2008 12:00:26 PM

tazzygirl

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greetings Masters
greetings Mistresses
hiya girlies

im relatively new to the boards here. hardly new to gor. many of you i have known for a long time, some i have yet to meet. some will say i have grown over the years, some may say im still the bratty sub i was when i first entered gor. there is little i can do about such beliefs.... i am simply me.

for a while now, i have been struggling with a few questions. after reading the slave thread here, a few surfaced and nudged me to indulge in the opportunity this board provides to ask such questions.

1) Do any of you, Free or slave, feel your relationship in private mirrors your relationship in public? i have seen some posts about slaves being commanded to do harmful things to themselves, or, the Free stating if they commanded thier slaves to do such things, they would expect them to be done. but, when its all said and done at the end of the day, and the door closes to block out the rest of the world.... its just you and your Master/Mistress/slave.. is it still just as structured as it comes across on the boards? or does everyone finally get a chance to let their proverbial hair down and just enjoy?

2) Many times abusive relationships as a topic has been seen to creep upon the boards, at least to me that is. When you look at a slave, either as a Free, or as another slave looking at any girl, do you see the slave first? or do you see a human/mother/daughter/ect and a slave as part of that extension?

3) This one is more for the Free Men who are in an abundant supply on the boards, thankfully ~grins~. When faced with a problem, a decision, or a hypotheical situation involving your slave, or any slave, do you turn to other women for the answers? If you do, are these women who are close to you? im hoping for some indulgence in the answers.

im sure any responses will give me more questions to ask.

tazzy

_____________________________

Barack Obama failed to keep many of the campaign promises that his opponents made for him
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RE: wondering - 9/16/2008 12:15:59 PM

fairerthanshe

Posts: 3033
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Greetings tazzy,

I do not see significant differences in our public and private lives. We do not have overt protocols which would be noticed. Since SJ's preference is to have invisible and gracious service, I don't change anything that I do to serve him.

Even when he was convalescing from his recent surgery and staying with his parents, I still gave him his pedicure. His mother made some comments and tried to get me a cushion to sit on, but I simply declined her offers of concern. About half way through the pedicure, which takes about 45 minutes to an hour depending, his father asked how much it would cost for him to get one as well. His mother quickly put an end to that type of thinking! I think his parents saw us in a little bit different light. They already knew that I serve him before myself or anyone else, that I clear for him at meals, do not sit until he sits, refill his drinking glass, and anything else which needs doing to make him comfortable, though I may be a guest in their home. I think this was the first time they saw more clearly the depth to which my care for him exists.

Regardless of who may be around, I serve him as best I can and with the best intentions to fulfill his requests of me. His opinion is more important to me than any other.

well wishes ~ fairer than she

_____________________________

"The girl shows up tomorrow evening for some time together...and I need someone to fuck with, so things are looking up, I reckon. "

"The girl is a world class somnambulist." ~ Senor Jaime

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RE: wondering - 9/16/2008 12:55:20 PM

patina

Posts: 493
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greeting tazz:

when i was married before i had a name to put to my way of being, i always waited hand and foot on my ex husband. I laid out his clothes, fixed his plate carried it to him, took the empty one back, got him things to drink. i did this in our home, in my parents, and in his family's homes it was just my way of doing things. Comments were made you treat him like a king. i always just replied back "if i enjoy it what is the problem." Granted i did not sit on the floor at his feet, or give him pedicures i have just learned how to do such, and he actually did not like others touching his feet. It happens in vanilla life too females pampering their men. So a lot of our waiting or pampering as others call it on our masters is ignored by others unless we make a scene of something.

i know now why when i serve at Gatherings that when i sit at a masters side and would go and get him and the other masters things even though i was not owned by anyone it just felt right, and i was very content and happy. i hope one day to have a master of my very own to serve all the time.

i think only for those whom it does not feel right to act this way will they worry about looking odd or different. For those of us who really like the feeling of being a slave, we do not even think of how it looks we just do it. It is natural to us.

harmony to all

patina

< Message edited by patina -- 9/16/2008 12:59:00 PM >

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RE: wondering - 9/16/2008 4:47:47 PM

alittleevil

Posts: 235
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

1) Do any of you, Free or slave, feel your relationship in private mirrors your relationship in public? i have seen some posts about slaves being commanded to do harmful things to themselves, or, the Free stating if they commanded thier slaves to do such things, they would expect them to be done. but, when its all said and done at the end of the day, and the door closes to block out the rest of the world.... its just you and your Master/Mistress/slave.. is it still just as structured as it comes across on the boards? or does everyone finally get a chance to let their proverbial hair down and just enjoy?

Greetings tazzygirl,

Like fairer shares in her post, Master does not choose to have many visible rituals or protocols, yet my practical service to him is always expected no matter the setting: he is served first, served on request (or prior to having to request, in the case of coffee refills!) and i am always to be respectful and attentive. I obey, so....if he has an order, i obey it--home or away. Master is also not one to wish to call undue attention to himself publicly, so my actions are quiet, unobtrusive and feel utterly natural in response to his directions, which would simply never be inappropriate to any given situation.

These types of questions are often difficult for me to respond to, because what we do....is just who we are and sometimes i feel like there is expected to be some big difference. There just isn't. There is no difference in our natures because of our immediate location. We don't "let our hair down" because that would seem as though we were playing a role instead of simply acting our natural selves. I certainly enjoy Master's company--he's a wonderful conversationalist and often quite funny, and he seems to like to make me smile. I enjoy being amusing to him as well. We have conversations--as ourselves. We have family, friends, associates and they simply see us being---ourselves. What any of them might think of some things, they have been polite enough to keep to themselves. There are however, two exceptions to "standard expectations" that i am allowed, both of which go back to Master's disinclination to call unwanted attention to himself: 1)In certain situations, while i may not use his given name, i may refer *to* him by name and 2) Where doing otherwise is inappropriate, i may use furniture.

We are more likely to engage in those types of activities that are best reserved for privacy, in private ;-), but no, all considered, there is no difference in our behaviors or Master's expectations based on where we are.

I'm sorry, tazzygirl, but the meaning behind question #2 was not clear to me. If you would care to, could you elaborate? Thank you.

Best to you,
aj

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RE: wondering - 9/17/2008 3:20:40 PM

Stroke

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3) This one is more for the Free Men who are in an abundant supply on the boards, thankfully ~grins~. When faced with a problem, a decision, or a hypotheical situation involving your slave, or any slave, do you turn to other women for the answers? If you do, are these women who are close to you? im hoping for some indulgence in the answers.

Hello tazzy, since the slaves are answering your first 2 questions, I'll take on this one. No, I never ask a female for answers regarding my slave or any other slave. For that matter, I do not ask other Doms how they would handle it either. I believe that a Dom/Master has to have enough confidence in himself and his decision making ability to be able to decide the best course of action in a given situation. I think that a Dom has to have a certain level of understanding regarding slaves and their behavior in order to consider himself as a Dom. Simply being strong enough to give orders does not make a Dom. He has to understand the dynamics of a Master/slave relationship and have an understanding of the psychology involved in what a slaves needs are and why she responds as she does. I hope this helped some.

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RE: wondering - 9/17/2008 3:43:32 PM

Maahsatti

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quote:

Simply being strong enough to give orders does not make a Dom. He has to understand the dynamics of a Master/slave relationship and have an understanding of the psychology involved in what a slaves needs are and why she responds as she does. I hope this helped some.

Howdy Stroke,

Nice to see you here posting.Welcome to the Gorean forum. I am presuming from from the number of your posts, that posting here is new for you. Though I indeed know Gor is not new to you...lol
BTW, I absolutely agree with your statement I highlighted above.
However, I see no wrong in one Free turning to another Free he feels a friendship or Brotherhood to, and askinng for advice, when needed.I have no statistics of course, just my own opinion thru my own observations over the years, that it is normaly a practice more used and felt to be more comfortable by FW, but on occasion I have seen FM who are close do so as well.

Wishing you well, always,
Babs

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Gorean women, whether slave or Free,know, that their simple presence, brings joy to men,and I cannot think but that this pleases them.
Outlaw of Gor, pg 54

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RE: wondering - 9/17/2008 3:46:37 PM

opposingtwilight

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I walk away from your post with the impression that you think that because a man owns a woman and is her master, that he then knows -everything- he needs to know. (Or he isn't really her master at all?) ... I would tend to disagree, if that is in fact what you are saying.

And as a slave, I feel ever so much more confident in a man's ability to lead if I see him turning to those around him that he admires and respects when he doesn't know the answer. It shows that he accepts that he is human, fallible and is willing to learn and grow as he expects me to learn and grow.

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RE: wondering - 9/17/2008 5:00:37 PM

fairerthanshe

Posts: 3033
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Greetings aj,

I just realized something reading your post. When SJ wants me to sit on the furniture, he pats it. When he wants me to sit on the floor, he nods. Sometimes if we are with others who know why I remain standing, he will verbally tell me to sit, which means the furniture.

well wishes ~ fairer than she

_____________________________

"The girl shows up tomorrow evening for some time together...and I need someone to fuck with, so things are looking up, I reckon. "

"The girl is a world class somnambulist." ~ Senor Jaime

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RE: wondering - 9/17/2008 5:28:22 PM

Obsidiansnamaste

Posts: 266
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

greetings Masters
greetings Mistresses
hiya girlies

im relatively new to the boards here. hardly new to gor. many of you i have known for a long time, some i have yet to meet. some will say i have grown over the years, some may say im still the bratty sub i was when i first entered gor. there is little i can do about such beliefs.... i am simply me.

for a while now, i have been struggling with a few questions. after reading the slave thread here, a few surfaced and nudged me to indulge in the opportunity this board provides to ask such questions.

1) Do any of you, Free or slave, feel your relationship in private mirrors your relationship in public? i have seen some posts about slaves being commanded to do harmful things to themselves, or, the Free stating if they commanded thier slaves to do such things, they would expect them to be done. but, when its all said and done at the end of the day, and the door closes to block out the rest of the world.... its just you and your Master/Mistress/slave.. is it still just as structured as it comes across on the boards? or does everyone finally get a chance to let their proverbial hair down and just enjoy?

Greetings,

Some on here know us real time, we're pretty much the same everywhere...but to be honest...i don't find this *not* enjoyable. We're always Master and slave. In our dynamic there are no time outs, no space to relate on equal footing. We have levels of protocol...the one i post on the boards with is our lowest form. The higher levels are general for events or just because it pleases Master. This is not to say we don't laugh and talk...we do all the time...but it's always within the structure Master has created.

quote:

2) Many times abusive relationships as a topic has been seen to creep upon the boards, at least to me that is. When you look at a slave, either as a Free, or as another slave looking at any girl, do you see the slave first? or do you see a human/mother/daughter/ect and a slave as part of that extension?

When i first meet a slave i see her as slave first any altering of that view is based on how the slave sees herself. For some slavery is foundation and for others it is an add on to the foundation. i do not think it is mine to tell the slave to be one or the other as that is her Masters to decide.

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Always in His service,

~Master Obsidians namaste
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RE: wondering - 9/18/2008 4:54:23 AM

tazzygirl

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~smiles to Master Stroke

Always a delight to get your input Master. Thank you

~waves and blows a kiss to Mistress Maahsatti

opposing, no, that wasnt my point at all. these are lingering qustions i have had for years, finally bubbling to the surface. over the years i have witnessed Masters turning to slaves, either within their own collars, or someone they are "close too" for advice... only to see the same Man saying later "I should not have listened. she was closer than I though." Advice from a friend is always welcomed... advice from someone with ulterior motives is not.

2) Many times abusive relationships as a topic has been seen to creep upon the boards, at least to me that is. When you look at a slave, either as a Free, or as another slave looking at any girl, do you see the slave first? or do you see a human/mother/daughter/ect and a slave as part of that extension?

aj, the point i think im trying to get across is perhaps, a bit out of the gorean ethos. yes, i am slave, yes, i obey. but, when i look at a man... i see a man... perhaps a father...a son... a hard worker... with all the demands and responsibilities those labels may bring. sometimes they dont have time to be "Master", as it has been explained to me. im not sure if even that is making sense. but, i am open to a lively debate on the topic

_____________________________

Barack Obama failed to keep many of the campaign promises that his opponents made for him
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
"There are no atheists getting blowjobs" ~Master Ron
+20 Heresy Points - Hard earned!
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RE: wondering - 9/18/2008 5:15:54 PM

Maahsatti

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quote:

when i look at a man... i see a man... perhaps a father...a son... a hard worker... with all the demands and responsibilities those labels may bring. sometimes they dont have time to be "Master", as it has been explained to me. im not sure if even that is making sense. but, i am open to a lively debate on the topic

Howdy tazzy taz,
You see, IMO that man who is a father, brother hardworker, etc...IS all those things decently and honorably, He already IS Master 100% of the time, as he has Mastered his life and himself, a slave makes no differance in the matter. If that man chooses to own a slave, thats just what it is, he has chosen to own a slave.

Mistress Maah

_____________________________

Gorean women, whether slave or Free,know, that their simple presence, brings joy to men,and I cannot think but that this pleases them.
Outlaw of Gor, pg 54

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RE: wondering - 9/18/2008 7:16:36 PM

OrionTheWolf

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Greetings girl,

It matters not where the solution to a problem comes from. Females are the other side of the whole, so why not ask one about problems with another? There is a couple of Free Women on this very forum that have helped me understand a former slave, it was after the fact but better late than to have always wondered. Free Women have their place in how things are, just as everything does, but they are rare, just as I am sure many of them say Free Men are rare.

Live well,
Orion

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

3) This one is more for the Free Men who are in an abundant supply on the boards, thankfully ~grins~. When faced with a problem, a decision, or a hypotheical situation involving your slave, or any slave, do you turn to other women for the answers? If you do, are these women who are close to you? im hoping for some indulgence in the answers.

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Die die glauben fordern keinen Beweis. Denen die zweifeln genuegt kein Beweis.

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RE: wondering - 9/18/2008 8:07:34 PM

tazzygirl

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~smiles to Master Orion

the question didnt point directly, or indirectly to FW, Master, or to slaves alone.. more along the lines to do men go to women they know have an emotional tie, or to women they dont?

Mistress ~grins~ we are so much alike. just like i cant take those parts and disect them, pulling out only the Master part as the part i chose too deal with, i was curious if men did that, choosing to deal with only the slave, and not seeing the rest.

_____________________________

Barack Obama failed to keep many of the campaign promises that his opponents made for him
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
"There are no atheists getting blowjobs" ~Master Ron
+20 Heresy Points - Hard earned!
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RE: wondering - 9/18/2008 10:16:56 PM

Maahsatti

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quote:

just like i cant take those parts and disect them, pulling out only the Master part as the part i chose too deal with, i was curious if men did that, choosing to deal with only the slave, and not seeing the rest.

Hiya taz,
Hmm, that question IMO is only something a man can answer himself.

Mistress Maah

PS. For me personaly, I tend to see the whole of the girl, though the slave aspect of herself first, then the rest of her humanity as a whole

< Message edited by Maahsatti -- 9/18/2008 10:18:34 PM >

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Gorean women, whether slave or Free,know, that their simple presence, brings joy to men,and I cannot think but that this pleases them.
Outlaw of Gor, pg 54

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