Collarchat.com

Create a
Free Account		 As the Collar Turns:
 Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home  Login  Search 
Espanol  Deutsch  Francais  Italiano  Portugues 

women and the pecking order


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> women and the pecking order Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
women and the pecking order - 12/7/2005 6:23:58 PM   
bottominwa


Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		So, this isn't really a completely lifestyle question...but since this is where i generally hang my head and know people i am posting it here.
i just had a horrific afternoon...in the span of an hour and a half i went right back to junior high all over again.
i was sitting at my desk minding my own business...the men i work for are on travel so i was just there alone manning phones...in the general vicinity only two other women work...with approximately 50 odd men. The two women came over and planted themselves at my desk...and over the course of an hour and a half proceeded to give me completely unsolicited makeover adivce.
Apparently, i need bangs, my hair needs frosted...(its naturally jet black i just leave it that way) and i need a perm. my eyebrows are wrong, my forehead is too high...my make up or lack there of is wrong...i wear the wrong colors for myself and my pants are too big.
Now mind you these are not women in any way in any position of authority over me, it wasn't a counseling type session...and it was done in that ultra hidden sugary sweet tone...as if they were my best friends in the world, although i rarely speak to either of them.
i sat through the entire thing in a daze...and when i left to go home i drove to get my daughter bawling my head off...like i was 13 on the playground. They completely and totally annihilated me.
And with all i have had to go through for this war my self esteem is generally 2 on a scale of 10 anyhow...and i already have abandonment issues becasue He is gone so much...
at any rate...
So much of who we are as girls, is part and parcel to being seen, and being needed, and being adored. Has anyone else experienced being hypersensitive to what other people say to you now that you are trying to be pleaasing?
i mean by and large i think i am an ok looking girl..i post real pictures of myself, and i am no beauty queen but i am not homely really either...well atleast i didn't think so.
And the hardest part was i never thought of either of these girls as being an authority on how to dress or look..one is significantly overweight and nearing 50 and the other is super neochristian and scrubbed clean like a noxyema commercial...
Anyhow...its amazing how 90 minutes can really slap one back 19 years....there i am again...13 years old...

sabrina King





< Message edited by bottominwa -- 12/7/2005 6:26:56 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/7/2005 7:01:30 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		While bedridden, I have actually subjected myself to television. One of the shows they have on is, "How Do I Look?"

In this show, they pretty much take a person and trash ass on every aspect of how they dress, do their hair, wear their makeup ... etc ... and drive them to the point of tears.

Phase two puts them in three stylish outfits that they spend $1500 on, and sends them to some top salon in L.A. for hair and makeup. I can only imagine what that costs. My hair and makeup for prom costs $350 and I live in Houston.

We then get to see how much better they look.

I think you should write that show and find out how your two "friends" can get you on. Not because you need it sabrina ... I THINK YOU LOOK GREAT ... but because if they are going to fucking rip you up like that, you ought to at least get three expensive outfits and a killer day at the salon to show for it.

Give yourself a hug for me (even though we don't really like each other)

caitlyn

P.S. As an aside, but sort of on-topic ... I used to be about 45 pounds over weight and used to get messed with for it. For whatever reason I decided to lose it and get in really good shape. I had a damn good body about two weeks ago. Now, I have pneumonia and can't keep any food down. I'm starting to get pretty skinny and my boobs are missing in action. I tried on my hottie jeans today and I actually need that fashionable belt (which blows, by the way). Funny how things change. Ok ... so I'm not finding it all that funny.

(in reply to bottominwa)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/7/2005 7:16:16 PM   
bottominwa


Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		caitlyn,

Why do you keep insisting i don't like you? lol..anyhow it sone of those things where you just go..."jesus what did i do to bring this on?" But i think it has more ot do with i am an easy target right now...i am sure i appear as vulnerable as i am to attack right now...and so it must be a pecking order sort of thing...get her while she is down.

Yeah..the aside, if you get too thin your boobs will do that...go missing in action...:)

sabrina King

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/7/2005 7:22:57 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		It was supposed to be just teasing ... sorry, my humor is like way too dry.

Like I said ... you look great if you ask me. I think the dark hair is very sexy. Notice how it wasn't any of the men giving you makeover advice. That's probably pretty telling.

How about this.

Go buy some Alpha-Bits.
Give one of them a S and a F
Give the other a T and a U

They will figure it out.

< Message edited by caitlyn -- 12/7/2005 7:23:50 PM >

(in reply to bottominwa)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/7/2005 7:28:23 PM   
bottominwa


Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		i know i spoke with the Dom who works in our general vicinity and He thought chalk it up to generalized jealousy as a rule toward me...and then they see me down so they are going to attack while i am down and try to put me in my place.
i know somewhere He is right, but still...geez its amazing how quickly you can be stripped of all self pride and be down there like that...wallowing.
Anyhow He seemed baffled why i didn't just lam baste them and sat there and took it...and it baffles me too...normally i would never take such an attack sitting down...

but my form is off considering everything i guess...or i am just extra needy or something....was just wandering if anyone else feels hypersensitive toward how other "free" for lack of a better term people view them....so much of what my life is, is to be pleasing....and so when one is told they are not pleasing it just annihilated me...ridiculously so...odd quandary.

thanks for the hugs caitlyn.
sabrina King

< Message edited by bottominwa -- 12/7/2005 7:32:39 PM >

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/7/2005 8:35:14 PM   
lookin4plezur


Posts: 40
Joined: 5/15/2004
Status: offline 		I'll agree with Caitlyn.....You do look great. At the mention of the word "perm" you should have walked away! I would also guess that given the description of the busybodies, you are probably way more attractive than either of them. I think women can be so much crueler than man.

Anissa


(in reply to bottominwa)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/8/2005 5:08:05 AM   
sunshine333


Posts: 203
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		perhaps a weight watchers book for the overweight one and a dog bone for the other?? ... served with a smile?

(god, women can be such catty bitches.)

... snickers ...


i'm kidding, of course. but it's important to keep a sense of humor in times like these. i'm sure it's harder for you because your Master is away (right?). but ya know ... i think we need to pick and choose to whom we wish to be pleasing ... to whom it really matters. certainly, female coworkers should rate pretty low, especially in your case. although i will admit to being a little hypersensitive myself at times.

but all joking aside ... i would try to keep in mind the suffering they must be going through to attack you like that. happy people don't do that stuff. so, acknowledge the source of their bitterness and try to let your heart be open to them, because they're having a hard time in life right now just like you are. they just express it inappropriately. but i'm sure it has nothing to do with you personally. just their own struggles.

chin up.

humbly,
sunshine

(in reply to bottominwa)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/8/2005 6:30:54 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		How do you Look is one of my top ten shows :)

However, I'd NEVER give advice to someone unless it was requested. That doesn't stop me from mentally making over just about every person I come across.

Women has weird relationships with eachother. We want to be "sisters" and yet we fight eachother for every inch.

Any man who thinks women are delicate fragile creatures is well fooled :)

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/8/2005 7:47:32 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Hi bottominwa:

****Next time.. look very interested, stop them in the middle and say oh wait a moment let me take notes... take copious notes and nod and say things like oh my and i see, and really? (get the wide eyes going here) and when they are done.. sit back with an indignant look and say.. WELL, thank you.... i didn't realize i should have fired my stylist, fashion coordinator, and makeup person a long time ago and more importantly, i need to get rid of my Man because he has this strange idea that he kinda likes me this way. I need to write that Dear John letter it seems.

But i am sure your opinions are much more important. Thank you again. I will let you know how it all goes, i didn't know what a bad deal i was getting when asking advice from people. I see i was asking the wrong people. ****

smiles.. don't let people like that get you down. But i do understand what you are saying...

angel

(in reply to bottominwa)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/8/2005 8:31:45 AM   
slaverubyred


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		Hi sabrina,

This plainly and simply smacks of Jealousy, as you have said one of the women is getting past her sell by date and envies you your youth and beauty and the other sounds as though she needs a life!, put this down to the green eyed monster rearing its ugly head and stick your nose up at them or give them something to really talk about and go to work looking drop dead gorgeous, (not that you need to try) wearing your shortest skirt and highest heels, full face of make-up, hair done and tell them you had a make-over at the weekend and thank them for their 'advice' 'it was in-valuable' and the personal shopper you now have is a darling, would be interesting to see how long it took them to 'inform' you your personal shopper and beautian have gone a little overboard lol

You dont have to stoop to their sour attempts of bitchiness to make a point, and your point doesnt need to be made, your young, attractive, full of life and have secrets they would never dream of. Your way better than these 2 women, dont let the bitches get you down.

Oh and will someone please tell me what 'bangs' are? im from the UK and im assuming 'bangs' are indeed a fringe, am i right??

rr xx

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/8/2005 8:50:59 AM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverubyred
Oh and will someone please tell me what 'bangs' are? im from the UK and im assuming 'bangs' are indeed a fringe, am i right??


Letting your hair down on your forehead.

I think we should all play "give each other a makeover" here on the Gorean board.


< Message edited by caitlyn -- 12/8/2005 8:51:16 AM >

(in reply to slaverubyred)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/8/2005 9:13:13 AM   
slaverubyred


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		Ah right its a fringe then, cheers caitlyn :o)

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/8/2005 4:53:37 PM   
krys


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		(a) Your a full on hottie.
(b) Frosting and a perm? Shudder

Please please please, dont change a thing. You're wonderful the way you are!

_____________________________

Krys

(in reply to bottominwa)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/8/2005 5:33:54 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 37442
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I am not totally sure that men understand this. This phenomenon takes up many pages of the series of books. Filled with pages of your not slave enough, you are too slavish, you don't know this part, you forgot that part, you are not worthy because........

I have made a point many times that I am not Gorean...not that I don't find Gorean morals and attitudes of some sympathetic nature, and indeed agree with many of the conceptual models.

It plainly is a wonderment to me how a girl can worry about what some other slut says...........

Are you not pleasing your master? Then it is birds babbling at a brook......this is how you communicate amongst yourselves and of no concern to men.

This is the stuff of division.

Why do you even consider that your pants are too big, unless I tell you this is so?

These are not the ones that feed and protect (and, yes, maybe) love you.

They do not have your best interests at heart. If I own you, I do (that's the deal, right?) That is not just a good idea, that is the law; if I survive you do also, If (I) (note that well) (I) do well, don't you also benefit, won't you at least get a scrap from my table? Of what benefit is it to hear that your pants are too big from some lady in Washington?

Are they your master? Have you pleased ME? Can they have the implications in your existance I can?


Yoda(ing),
Ron
P.S. I do have some concept of your feelings at thirteen, and I do consider that, I wish it was not so, but it is so for most of us........ I am no longer thirteen. I do not want my woman to be thirteen either. If I gotta work that out, I will. End of Joke.


< Message edited by mnottertail -- 12/8/2005 5:36:27 PM >

_____________________________

Kam Fong as Chin Ho

For in the final analysis, our most basic common link, is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's futures, and we are all mortal. JFK



(in reply to krys)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/8/2005 6:40:03 PM   
bottominwa


Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		sisters and Master Ron,

Thanks for the kudos...it was just a day...but yes men really have no clue how completely cruel women can be to one another...when speaking with Master today ( by the way He is in country now, and doing well considering where He is) He reminded me of how horrible i was to my first little sister in the house...indeed. Perhaps karma is just a bitch...snickering.
Anyhow, this girl will certainly think twice before making such unsolicited comments of others it really was hurtful and had my little head reeling for awhile. But the Dom assigned to watch this girl in Master's absence was good to give her the once over full frontal stern Fatherly speech akin to Master Ron's herein. And that set her head back on her neck.

sabrina King

< Message edited by bottominwa -- 12/8/2005 6:41:09 PM >

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/8/2005 6:47:01 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 37442
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well, miss sabrina King,

there are all manner of manners in the world......


quote:

ORIGINAL: bottominwa
( by the way He is in country now, and doing well considering where He is) He reminded me of how horrible i was to my first little sister in the house...indeed.

You have your life, and it is good, you will do well to live it. Do not wonder at the old life, for you can not change it. Do not wonder at tomorrow for you will live it. Only wonder at your moment in time, this is your hour........use it for good or evil.

Ron
anything esle is simply pretense.

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 12/8/2005 6:48:35 PM >

_____________________________

Kam Fong as Chin Ho

For in the final analysis, our most basic common link, is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's futures, and we are all mortal. JFK



(in reply to bottominwa)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/10/2005 10:52:58 PM   
mons


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		i was teased as a child from the age of 8 to i was in high school i did not wear the right clothes i did not have the right hair but then my sister showes me how to soften my skin put on not to much makeup and then taught me how to walk i learn how to speak from my mother and father but most i learn that i am one hell of a sexy woman and i am pretty not ughly just pretty i am shy still but sexy and so smart i learn how the most important thing that i will not ever in my wild anger treat anyone the way other had treated me so now when i see a child who is shy as a artist i can tell how they will look in years to come and i make sure i tell them and as the years pass these girls are so pretty and lovely and kind more important they are not like the kids who tease me and tease them and i am sexy with a vloutous shape and i love me now and alway will you.there is nothing wrong with you iknow that they the woman are jealous of you trust me only when someone comes up to you like that they think very littel of themself now as for the people who tease me i am sorry to say they are not dead drugs prison all of the above if they had took the time to be kind to me they may had learn jail is for bullies
j

(in reply to bottominwa)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/11/2005 1:01:06 AM   
buffiyum


Posts: 119
Status: offline 		*reads and thinks, then posts thus ....*

Master Ron, sabrina and sisters,
While one respects the words of Master Ron because they are words of simple truth for any owned girl, one also agree with her sisters that, at times, women are very cruel, whether or not they are part of 'the Life, let alone those who follow a Gorean philosophy'.
one think it may be that women in todays society respond to submissives/slaves in the way they do (without being told what we are), because they feel threatened at being confronted by women who have learn and accepte what they are, and are happy to be just that. Perhaps they are also frightened of that which they donot understand. People donot like to be frightened and so they lash out at what is scaring them in the way best guaranteed in their tidy-little-minds, to hurt.
buffy is not owned, yet she is slave. It shows in many ways and the women at buffys work knew something was differente they were just not sure what. They and buffy have just begun the journey of intra-reflective understanding wherein one hope very much that each of us will learn from the other many things, the greatest of these being the discovery of our commonalities (well we work together, so thats a start), as well as the acceptance of our differences, as women and as individuals.
Thank you sabrina for posting what you did. you are not alone and you are cared about.
respectfully,
buffy

< Message edited by buffiyum -- 12/11/2005 1:05:36 AM >

(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/11/2005 9:06:29 AM   
RavenofPK


Posts: 320
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn


I think we should all play "give each other a makeover" here on the Gorean board.



No. Let's not.

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: women and the pecking order - 12/11/2005 10:19:46 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 37442
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK


quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn


I think we should all play "give each other a makeover" here on the Gorean board.



No. Let's not.



Yeah, ok LOL........I'll do that, you need to get you a picture with less white cars in the background, have you no sense of color, Man?

It's funny how they think, no?

Well met,
Ron


_____________________________

Kam Fong as Chin Ho

For in the final analysis, our most basic common link, is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's futures, and we are all mortal. JFK



(in reply to RavenofPK)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> women and the pecking order Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2012
Collarchat.com is a member of the Free Speech Coalition
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

2.297