why?

Create a
Free Account

As the Collar Turns:

Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home Login Search

why?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> why?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

why? - 12/30/2008 7:59:55 PM

MIntribus

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

why some of us younger dominants/masters are questioned more than those twice our age with less than half the experiance? feal free to comment. free ans slave alike.
Mintribus

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 8:05:01 PM

marie2

Posts: 1621
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

How do you know how much someone else is questioned?

(in reply to MIntribus)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 8:10:12 PM

MIntribus

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

i do not know more than i am told when i ask. and i have some friends who also ask others. the general consencis is that the older you the more you must know and the younger the less. i am not trying to be rude just courious.

(in reply to marie2)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 8:48:19 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9788
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

Because someone who is young hasnt had the life experiences to master themselves. You need to Master yourself before you can truly Master others. Those who are younger dont have the self control that is developed through maturity. this is why..

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MIntribus)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 9:43:19 PM

MIntribus

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

lusciouslips19
not to be rude and correct if wrong. but eaven if someone has say a decade of so called experiance in the lifestyle. they are tecnickally inexperianced if they are not old enoughf by someone elses standards to have known their limmits, and them selfs. who judges, and when is it enoughf to have what is known count? how would one gain experiance, if never given the chance? when dose what is in ones heart and soul matter. and if it is known at a young age, why should it count less than one who stumbles into it blindly and likes what they see.
agin i am not trying to be rude. i am just trying to figure out some things that seem to bother me and for all i have done and asked, none seem to give eaven a little semblance of advice. when

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 9:58:29 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9788
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MIntribus

lusciouslips19
not to be rude and correct if wrong. but eaven if someone has say a decade of so called experiance in the lifestyle. they are tecnickally inexperianced if they are not old enoughf by someone elses standards to have known their limmits, and them selfs. who judges, and when is it enoughf to have what is known count? how would one gain experiance, if never given the chance? when dose what is in ones heart and soul matter. and if it is known at a young age, why should it count less than one who stumbles into it blindly and likes what they see.
agin i am not trying to be rude. i am just trying to figure out some things that seem to bother me and for all i have done and asked, none seem to give eaven a little semblance of advice. when

I have a right to judge anyone I am putting my safety and well being into. It matters if it matters to me. I am 46. I would never put myself in the hands of someone so young but then again thats just me. You asked why people are questioned. I gave you a reason. but you should have no problem finding willing subs. Although if you are seeking an ollder submissive that where the problems may arise.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MIntribus)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 10:01:19 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9788
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

One suggestion if you are looking to gain experience is to join a dungeon club and look for a dominant to mentor you. One who will teach you the rules and safety lessons needed to know to make you safe to be with. Then you will gain a good reputation from that. If you never go about seeking mentors and going to workshops that the dungeons provide than you may not be going about it in the best way.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 10:06:49 PM

MIntribus

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

as i said i was not trying to be rude. and as far as finding someone none thus far in the 4 years that i have been searching since my first passed will look twice since my age. i have 12 years in the lifestyle. and i take great care of any that put their trust in me. but when it comes to finding another. i get stonewalled due to the young age. sub age seems not to matter. but let a dominant be young, and all hell seems to come down on them for so called lack of experiance. and not knowing what they truely seek.
but i ramble agin. i did not meen to offend.
some rare ocasions a submay look but soon those of us young are discarded or replaced by those with maby only a few years older, but sometimes less experiance.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 10:22:48 PM

HouseGraywolfTX

Posts: 51
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

allow me to drop 2 tarsk bits into the pot.

For starters lets take this response to lusciouslips.. While I give the benefit of doubt to those younger, time and time again I see proof they are nowhere near ready to be responsible for another. Post #4 merely proves my point. Are you too lazy to use proper grammar? or even spell-check your post? You want to be acknowledged for what you think you know? Show it by deeds.. you wish to gain experience? Approach those who have spent the time building the serious reputation and inquire about mentoring. As the cliche goes - practice makes perfect, but it requires time and that has nothing to do with your heart and feelings. And to put a more common sense perception in place think of it this way.. Take any weapons training or sports skills. Until you have thousands of repetitions where the action has become second nature without conscious thought, you won't be considered proficient and nobody in their right mind is going to allow you a chance to harm them through what is usually described as a simple rookie (in-experienced) mistake.

My advice? Go search the forums for posts by xBullx, Leonidas, and other Free with the respect of the community.
Read their words and apply what works for you into your life, and then have your deeds prove your worth.

Honor
Graywolf_TX

< Message edited by HouseGraywolfTX -- 12/30/2008 10:26:43 PM >

_____________________________

LAnatCreations.etsy.com

(in reply to MIntribus)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 10:51:53 PM

avinyl

Posts: 50
Joined: 7/13/2008
Status: offline

You say in your profile that you're 24...and here you claim 12 years of experience. Personally, I wouldn't really "count" the time when you were under the age of majority in my consideration of someone's experience, and I suspect that's the basis of a lot of other people's view of you.

_____________________________

But...this goes to *eleven*.

(in reply to MIntribus)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 11:00:40 PM

MIntribus

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

well i am sorry for starting this. i did not wish to be attacked just was looking for thoughts on a topic that is seeming to be a large hinderance for those of us who wish to gain experiance, and learn. i did not want an attack on what i am. and i do apologise for the bad spelling, i am dislexic and i hope that one day people could be a bit more open to helping those of us young learn and grow. the division in the lifestyly is why we are so persucted i belive, but i am rambleing agin.
my appologies to those who may have wasted their time on this question set. and i did not meen to ruffel any ones feathers by any thing said here.
as to the last comment i did start young and i do not think that any experiance should be excluded. for it all helps to make up who one is and what they are.
MIntribus

(in reply to avinyl)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 11:12:31 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline

It's a catch-22

If a man I don't belong to is questioning being questioned, it will only make me question him more.

Just my 2 cents (3.5 cents Australian)

Elisabella

_____________________________

you're just an empty cage, girl
if you kill the bird

(in reply to MIntribus)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 11:14:36 PM

marie2

Posts: 1621
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

For what it's worth, I don't think you should be apologizing for anything. If someone feels they "wasted their time", it was their decision to stop and post. But I don't think anyone is trying to be hurtful. You did get some good input and suggestions. I really don't have anything to add, other than to say, that everyone gets questioned during the process of getting to know someone. I'm not sure I agree that it only happens to older dominants. I think there are plenty of younger girls looking for a young guy like yourself. You seem really kind and very sincere. Why not just continue on in your search and maybe try to have patience with those who want to talk to you and pick your brain. Afterall, the next one who 'questions' you might be the one who ends up being a significant partner in your life.

Don't worry so much about the grammar. There are several other regular posters here who deal with dyslexia. If you think it will make a better impression, you could use the spell-check.

Best of luck in your continued search.

: )

(in reply to MIntribus)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 11:20:36 PM

MIntribus

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

it is not so much being questioned, as being told that i am not old enoughf to know my heart.
thank you all agin. haert and soul and mind meen little aginst preconseptions.

(in reply to marie2)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 11:39:25 PM

avinyl

Posts: 50
Joined: 7/13/2008
Status: offline

I didn't necessarily mean exclude that experience, because you're right. I meant something more along the lines of people generally taking a given experience as an adult more seriously than the same experience as a teenager. Sucks, but most people have learned that from experience. *shrug*

It's like everyone's mom said in grade school...if someone's isn't going to be your friend based on what you are, do you really want them as a friend anyway?

edited cos I stuttered

< Message edited by avinyl -- 12/30/2008 11:42:41 PM >

_____________________________

But...this goes to *eleven*.

(in reply to MIntribus)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 11:47:07 PM

Kobane

Posts: 26
Joined: 8/21/2008
Status: offline

Wait till you reach 27-28 your really going to think you know it all.

(in reply to MIntribus)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 11:50:25 PM

MIntribus

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

thank you avinyl but as i stated i think it was a mistake to post this question. no real help forth comeing, just reasons why i and those like me seem not to be trusted. trust these days seems to be given eaven rarer than the time of day to a stranger these days.
agin sorry to waste the time of those that have read and tryed to help. and to those that seem to want to keep telling why we should not be trusted, or helped. sorry that you eaven had to read the question. i was looking for help/advice/thoughts, not reasons why it should be said not to trust some one.
Mintribus

(in reply to avinyl)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: why? - 12/30/2008 11:54:50 PM

MIntribus

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

i am not saying i know it all. i am just saying all should atleast be given the same chance. not just those with age on their side. i know that when one stops learning that is when they need to learn more than ever. for no one will ever know all. and no one will ever know evrything on any subject. the striveing of knowlage is what should keep all into progressing. and help given to those that adimantly seek it out. not have them shuned for exposeing their minds to ridicule for trying. how is the life style suposed to go on if all interested are told to try agin later with no real halp and little gideance?

(in reply to MIntribus)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: why? - 12/31/2008 12:20:21 AM

SoulPiercer

Posts: 373
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Because someone who is young hasnt had the life experiences to master themselves. You need to Master yourself before you can truly Master others. Those who are younger dont have the self control that is developed through maturity. this is why..

Had I been the OP, I would have wisely thanked lusciouslips for her very eloquent answer and let this thread die a pleasant death. But alas .. I am 44 years old and with age comes the wisdom to know when to say when.

I honestly couldn't finish reading your third post. It is quite possible that you find yourself being questioned more often, because people are giving you every opportunity to prove yourself. You see, you can't master others until you decide you will master Spell Check.

If I were you, I would first work on that which I can control. Clean up your presentation. Keep learning and seeking knowledge. And for goodness sakes, stop telling people you've been in the "lifestyle" since you were 12. You may think you're adding years of experience to your resume, but what you're really doing is giving people another reason to question you.

_____________________________

Do you have any idea how many bones you have left for me to break? - Batman

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: why? - 12/31/2008 1:09:49 AM

Kobane

Posts: 26
Joined: 8/21/2008
Status: offline

Try what again later?

I personally don't live a particuliar lifestyle other than what I consider to be average in most ways. I'm only here because I noticed a couple posters who happened some thoughts worth regarding. I think the general rule of thumb is live and learn. I've always tried to live by some virtue(and let me add I've been far from perfect). Over the years I opted to review the ethical points I lived by. I 've added a few here and there and occasionally drop one. I personally don't like patience but it comes in handy more often than not.

Good luck and happy New Years.

(in reply to MIntribus)

Profile

Post #: 20