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RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/27/2006 4:46:33 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Just wondering--is that a new slang term for jerking off?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

I sit around being fabulous




Darn it!

Note to self: Do not take a mouthful of coffee if the next post you are going to read is a reply from LaM!

That was so nearly messy!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/27/2006 5:20:05 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

slave stays at home and does female slavey things


Hmmm, kind of confused as to what 'slavey things' pertains to

quote:

Just wondering--is that a new slang term for jerking off?


LMAO Lordandmaster, I think it is now

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/27/2006 7:04:00 PM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Call me a traditionalist if you want though I firmly believe that doing work is what slaves are for, they go out to work and I sit around being fabulous until they come back to worship me. I think that is easy for me or a Domme who has male slaves to say because all of our slaves are male and traditionally that is what males are meant to do, even if they are slaves.


Good work if you can get it, I guess. Short answer to your question is yes, you're judged differently as a man (as you have seen) than you would be if you were a Domme and had a stable of boys out there bringing home the bacon for you (or worse yet, sending you tributes so that you could sit on your ample ass). A woman can get away with calling that "her kink". You're a deadbeat if you try it.

You're within your rights to work a slave if you have one. As you said, a slave is property, and, if they are a slave, don't get to pick and choose how you put them to use. As a practical matter though, it's not going to work out for you. You might get along for a while being a narcissist while you are young and pretty. You're going to look pretty sad at 45 with narry an accomplishment to your name in life, though, don't you think? Before you can rightly master someone else, you need to be captain of your own boat. For most men, that means having a direction in life that few things other than meaningful work can provide. Something to think about.



_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/28/2006 9:51:00 AM   
meridia


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		MstrTiger, i only know of one dom who does what you describe, that being sitting on his ass while his sub/slave earns all the money and does everything around the house and sits at his feet and worships him. he's also a royal asshole who is not very well liked by most people who've spent more than 3 seconds around him, and i know there are several people who want to string him up by his withered balls, hang him from an overpass, and invite the air force to use him as target practice.

i don't see it as a question of conformity. each relationship is going to be run as those involved see fit to do so. keep in mind that while we may not live in the vanilla world, we still live in the REAL world... spankings won't put food on the table, and all the adoration a Master could want won't pay the electric bill. if a Master has means to provide for his household in such a way that the sub/slave doesn't need to work, so be it. if neither needs to work, so be it. if the slave comes to his/her owner and says "let me provide for you", so be it. but for most of us, both people need to work in order to survive in our society.

_____________________________

why couldn't you just put the bunny back in the box?

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/28/2006 10:33:28 AM   
B1gbear


Posts: 81
Joined: 5/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

Call me a traditionalist if you want though I firmly believe that doing work is what slaves are for, they go out to work and I sit around being fabulous until they come back to worship me. I think that is easy for me or a Domme who has male slaves to say because all of our slaves are male and traditionally that is what males are meant to do, even if they are slaves.


I have to say that that sounds all impressive, but making your subs go out and support you makes you a lot of things, but Dominant only by coincidence. I see taking resposibility and control over a sub/slave's life in every description of being Dominant (on a 24/7 basis, which this seems to refer to), anyway. I really don't see where the phrase, 'go out and support me now' falls in that catagory. Nice try, but I think that Doms that make sub/slaves support them as a prerequisite for servitude are lazy takers that use the control given to take advantage of the sub/slave. Nothing traditional about it unless you come from a long line of pimps or welfare families. Doing domestic or service oriented work within the dynamic of the relationship does not equate to 'support me financially'. So stay fabulous for those suckers who come back to worship you after a long day of earning your way in life for you.

I am a male Dom who keeps a female slave, but I do know lots of people who have Male/male, Female/male, Female/female dynamics and I don't recall a single one of those where the Dom/me sits at home and makes the other support them. So I'm not buying that this is traditional for those dyanmics either. In fact, many who are big names on the BDSM circuit and represented as national examples of traditional D/s, M/s relationships, even heads of M/s Houses all seems to be self sufficient, even if they do require their sub/slaves to work.

Oddly enough it is only on online formats or with Doms that frequent these forums to find their subs/slaves that I have encountered Dom/mes with your kind of thinking. Do you keep a wish list as well of things your subs/slaves can buy you to win your affection/attention? Things that make you go Hmmmm...

quote:


I read a recent post that made me think about how Master/female sub relationships deal with stereotypical roles and how they effect their relationships. If a Master has a female slave do they break conformity and the female slave has to go out to work while the Master relaxes at home or does the Master conform to the stereotype and go out to work while the female slave stays at home and does female slavey things. I know stereotypes like this are not a strong as they used to be but they do still exist, perhaps you choose to build your private lives around your existing work lives and don’t consider it to be an important aspect of the power exchange within your relationship.


Traditionally the sub/slave expects that the Dom is going to ensure they are taken care of and don't have to worry about all the simple existance things like work. Meaning the Dom works and earns a living and/or will ensure they do the same to meet what ever financial goals are necessary for them to live comfortably or at what ever level works for them. In days past it was a male workforce world...it was a single income household. In today's world it is not uncomon for all adult members of a household, vanilla, lifestyle or otherwise to work and earn a wage to support the household. There is no realistic tie that can be made to who should work and not work in the dynamic other than to say that it puts a dangerous imbalance to the power exchange dynamic when the Dom becomes dependant on the sub for anything beyond the power exchange itself. How does a Dom keep control when the sub supports them financially? Seems to me the sub now has control. 'Keep being my Master/Mistress or I will boot you out on the street' for example. If the sub buys your car, feeds you, and puts a roof over your head who holds the power AND control in the relationship? Can the Dom enforce the rules set or have any way of leaving the sub/slave fearful of loosing the collar about their neck if they should disobey the rules set for them?

Now you have a Dom who has no real power or control over their own life let alone the sub/slave's. You also have a sub/slave who has no security in the control their Dom is supposed to hold over them because they have the real power and control over their combined lives.

Can this work for people? Sure, people like the fabulous author of this post do it all the time. Every Dom/sub dyanmic out there is slightly different in one way or another and if it works for you then it works. Does it have anything to do with traditional dynamics ...Hell no! If your a sub and supporting your Dom, do it cause it works for you, not because somone says subs/slaves are supposed to support their Doms.

Just shakes my head at some of the egos running around with God complexes.

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/29/2006 6:50:43 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		I'm planning on winning the Lottery so pet and I can both sit around being "fabulous"...
(and I'm going with LaM's definition on this one.)

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/31/2006 9:50:21 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

Call me a traditionalist if you want though I firmly believe that doing work is what slaves are for


You and Veronica just might be soulmates.

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/3/2006 7:17:23 PM   
Nendarye


Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I am a slave. And I work. But so does Master. Not because he has to ( I make more than enough to support the both of us ), but because he wants to. He gets pride out of knowing that he contributes something besides just himself to our relationship.

_____________________________

" You may be suffering, but you will always suffer with love"

@~~Proud property of Master Michael~~@

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/3/2006 7:30:05 PM   
Isara


Posts: 87
Joined: 2/4/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I couldn't stay home while the sub went to work. I'd fear that if the relationship went bad? I'd have to return back to the workforce with outdated skills and few/no contacts.

Besides, I like shiny things, and if I can afford them for myself? While my boy or girl worked and was able to support themself if something happened to me? I'd be happier with that situation.

_____________________________

"I can't -- not just like that. I'm a complicated person, you see, Aunty... Sometimes I'm nice, and sometimes I'm nasty -- hee hee!...and sometimes I just like to sing little songs, like: "See the little goblin, see his little-- " Edmond Blackadder

(in reply to Nendarye)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/14/2006 6:18:45 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		I should check the threads I start more often hehehe, first of all sirandlittle1 if you intended ponse to mean homosexual gentleman then yes I am, though if you intended to use it in the derogatory way for which it is usually used to describe people of my sexuality then I suggest you lie in a hole and die like all pointless bigots should.

In response to knightofmist I think you have misread my opening message, the statement in which I was referring to myself as being a traditionalist is the one in which I say that I think slaves should work, not the part referring to my lifestyle, it is traditional for slaves to work isn’t it?. In response to Irishmist when I say slavey things it pertains to things that a slave might do, would you have preferred me to write a comprehensive list of anything and everything that a slave might do during the course of a day?, while that approach might be more comprehensive it would not really be practical.

I intended this thread to inspire people to discuss their own lifestyles while telling you all about my own, I did not intent this thread to be a way of allowing people to overtly criticise the way I choose to live my life, which is something most people who have posted replys appear to have realised in their messages. To further my initial post I am not lazy and I am not stupid, I earn a modest income while sitting at home being fabulous though I don’t really have to work to earn it, not what I would call work anyway.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/14/2006 6:35:09 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		By the holy falling tarn turds, y'all using that dirty word again.....W.O.R.K.......

What is work and how do you define it?

If you define WORK as doing something you wouldn't do unless you goit paid for it, in my whole life, I doubt I've worked two years. Everything I've done and been better than well paid, I'd have done for nothing and would do again. Yep and that includes three of the five years 'Nam time. (The other two years I'd gime my right arm never to have that experience).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence!
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and Determination alone are omnipotent!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's all in the game and how you play it!


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/14/2006 7:11:44 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Hmm, can I be let loose? Please?



_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/14/2006 7:19:08 PM   
LindaLashes


Posts: 170
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline 		Hmm, I´m a student and Mistress is a student, but we manage

_____________________________

Smack me around and call me Suzy...

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/14/2006 7:52:21 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger
Call me a traditionalist if you want though I firmly believe that doing work is what slaves are for, they go out to work and I sit around being fabulous until they come back to worship me.


I think male slaves just get worship ;) and god bless their little cotton socks for doing so.

quote:

I think that is easy for me or a Domme who has male slaves to say because all of our slaves are male and traditionally that is what males are meant to do, even if they are slaves.


Again, bless their little cotton socks ;)

All such wonderfully egotistical stuff, but on a serious note I firmly believe in general, men are more willing than women to humble themselves to someone they deign superior to them....women would be less inclined to think he is superior, rather he is worthy of her.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/14/2006 7:58:30 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

In response to knightofmist I think you have misread my opening message, the statement in which I was referring to myself as being a traditionalist is the one in which I say that I think slaves should work, not the part referring to my lifestyle, it is traditional for slaves to work isn’t it?.


Hmm, I read it the same way that KnightofMists read it. The same way I think most of us read it. Maybe next time, since you claim to be neither lazy nor stupid, you could word your opening statement a bit better so that all us not so bright individuals can understand you a bit better.

quote:

In response to Irishmist when I say slavey things it pertains to things that a slave might do, would you have preferred me to write a comprehensive list of anything and everything that a slave might do during the course of a day?, while that approach might be more comprehensive it would not really be practical.


Once again. Maybe next time you could impart some of your superior wisdom on me. "Slavey things" could pertain to a great many different things. No one has a book that they read out of on a daily basis that gives guidelines for such things. Everyone runs their lives differently.

quote:

I intended this thread to inspire people to discuss their own lifestyles while telling you all about my own


If that is the case, then next time, choose your words a bit better. After all, you are not lazy nor stupid.

Just FABULOUS

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/14/2006 8:01:51 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

Call me a traditionalist if you want though I firmly believe that doing work is what slaves are for, they go out to work and I sit around being fabulous until they come back to worship me. I think that is easy for me or a Domme who has male slaves to say because all of our slaves are male and traditionally that is what males are meant to do, even if they are slaves. I read a recent post that made me think about how Master/female sub relationships deal with stereotypical roles and how they effect their relationships. If a Master has a female slave do they break conformity and the female slave has to go out to work while the Master relaxes at home or does the Master conform to the stereotype and go out to work while the female slave stays at home and does female slavey things. I know stereotypes like this are not a strong as they used to be but they do still exist, perhaps you choose to build your private lives around your existing work lives and don’t consider it to be an important aspect of the power exchange within your relationship.


It is fine for you to keep that attitude if you want. That is, after all, your perogative. I guarantee you, however, that if you do happen to find someone that is just dying to work all day and then lick your boots when they come home that she will not last long. She might even hold out for a year or two, but your relationship will cave in and she will move on to someone who is more of a man. If you notice, most BDSM relationships do not even make it to the first year, and very seldom over three. There is a reason for that.

But like I said, that is your perogative I suppose.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/14/2006 8:07:27 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		I can gaurantee you he will not lack for willing men.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/14/2006 8:12:00 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

In response to knightofmist I think you have misread my opening message, the statement in which I was referring to myself as being a traditionalist is the one in which I say that I think slaves should work, not the part referring to my lifestyle, it is traditional for slaves to work isn’t it?

I intended this thread to inspire people to discuss their own lifestyles while telling you all about my own, I did not intent this thread to be a way of allowing people to overtly criticise the way I choose to live my life, which is something most people who have posted replys appear to have realised in their messages. To further my initial post I am not lazy and I am not stupid, I earn a modest income while sitting at home being fabulous though I don’t really have to work to earn it, not what I would call work anyway.


is it not traditional for everyone to work in some capacity or another (paid work, or unpaid, work is work)... unless of course one wants sit around and being fabulous and maybe even worshipped atime or two in ones' spare time.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/14/2006 8:19:07 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I intended this thread to inspire people to discuss their own lifestyles while telling you all about my own, I did not intent this thread to be a way of allowing people to overtly criticise the way I choose to live my life, which is something most people who have posted replys appear to have realised in their messages. To further my initial post I am not lazy and I am not stupid, I earn a modest income while sitting at home being fabulous though I don’t really have to work to earn it, not what I would call work anyway.


I'm just wondering, while you're sitting at home being fabulous and your slave is off at work bringing home the bacon, when are all the standard household chores getting done? And who is doing them? "Traditionally," that would be the slave's job. However, if the slave is off at work all day, and then comes home to scrub floors, cook dinner, do the laundry, clean up after the pets, do the dusting and the dishes and fluffing your pillows... when does the slave have time to attend to your more personal needs?

I work outside Master's home just 3 days a week. Master works, and is gone, twelve days of every fourteen. When I'm not at work, I'm at home cleaning 22 rooms, doing all the household and yard maintenance, and picking up after and caring for ten animals. But when He gets home, it's all done, and my sole focus is Him. He pays all the bills, my earnings are my own, and I take very good care of Him. Plus, every once in a while, I get to just relax and be a little fabulous, myself.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 2/15/2006 7:12:27 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

Plus, every once in a while, I get to just relax and be a little fabulous, myself. [/color]



lol oh you spoilt girl lol

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 40
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