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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:16:55 PM

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In all seriousness... uhem... not all younger people are the same. Nor the old foggies. It isn't always about youth or maturity. Sometimes it is life goals and where we are at. Now there are a lot of older guys that want a mistress trampoline... but most and I do mean most(!) of the younger men who contact me or that I know... want an expereince... to have fun.. to use me until they can find someone younger to get serious about and to learn what a few things are all about. I do not plan on willingly walking into a situation where my time, energy, mind and body will be wasted on a man who simply wants to use me... I don't care what his age is.

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:48:55 PM

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Hey! I said closed-minded old bats need an education about how life can work and what the results can be at an early age....

The rest of you Old Bats I dig.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsK

PS She wants a family..I can live with or without...not all of us "young-un's" who are here are short-sighted enough not to have our life goals in mind when seeking a long-term/potentially permanent relationship

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:50:20 PM

MzMia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

In all seriousness... uhem... not all younger people are the same. Nor the old foggies. It isn't always about youth or maturity. Sometimes it is life goals and where we are at. Now there are a lot of older guys that want a mistress trampoline... but most and I do mean most(!) of the younger men who contact me or that I know... want an expereince... to have fun.. to use me until they can find someone younger to get serious about and to learn what a few things are all about. I do not plan on willingly walking into a situation where my time, energy, mind and body will be wasted on a man who simply wants to use me... I don't care what his age is.

Wonderful post.
Let me add a caveat....one of the reason's I like mature/older men is hopefully they either have their shit together or are close to getting it together.
If you don't normally have your life together/or close to how you want it by 55, you probably never will.
If a man or woman has not grown up and matured by their late 40's or 50's, they probably never will.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 4/5/2009 8:51:14 PM >

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To Each His/Her Own
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(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:02:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Remember the little flame festival in the other thread? There ya go. Those who are in successful relationships with the young, or the young in those relationships, take our preferences personally.

I don't take people's "preferences" personally. I take the nasty tone and attitude that comes across in many of the posts to this thread personally. Like that post from CatdeMedici, and all the others who seem to assume or imply that any relationship with a younger male submissive has to automatically devolve into "Mommy-Little Boy" play (as if age of the players has ANYTHING AT ALL to do with role play!).

And I also really don't care for the stereotypes which get promulgated in threads like this by people whose "preferences" cannot be expressed in any terms other than character assassination. "Oh, a younger guy is just going to dump you when he's 30 and leave you to die alone". Wow, really? Exactly how am I supposed to feel about this statement, LadyH? Do you really think this is the sort of thing that would be socially acceptable to say if we were all meeting and speaking in person? And if not, why do people expect me to react any less negatively to such crude, incredibly gauche and insensitive remarks in a public forum?

I'm not going to claim that there are NO younger people who will disappoint their partners by being immature or inadequate. Relationships, like everything else in the universe, tend to obey Sturgeon's Law: "90% of EVERYTHING is crap." In my experience, the remaining 10% of wunnerfulness is distributed fairly evenly among people of all ages, sizes, races and orientations--but hey, that's me, and I have no irrational prejudices against any specific group to defend.

Seriously--so many of the anecdotes in this thread about "young people" simply read to me as stories about "stupid people"! Wow--someone who couldn't name the two Kennedy brothers who took a bullet? Who hadn't heard of the Beatles? Or the Grateful Dead? I have nothing against younger people, but I wouldn't fuck someone like that either; I'm not into bestiality, and people that dumb are categorized as farm animals in my book.

On the other hand, I do find it amusing how little obligation older people seem to feel to keep up to date on the music and pop culture of the new era at times. Does a younger person get to dismiss your worth if you can't name three songs by the Flaming Lips, if you don't know what "emo" is, and you haven't got a Twitter account?

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:12:17 PM

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Partners of any age will often leave when the other gets sick. I cannot tell you how many I lost for that reason, once they got a taste and fill up and how many people I counseled because their spouse of many years decided it wasn't any fun anymore.

Is it too much to think, believe, assume... whatever... that a young person might be overwhelmed by his older spouse's illness and youth be gone and leave?

Those that stay are very wonderful people and rare!

Where are the twenty year relationships between older women and younger people? I want to see a twenty year old get with a forty year old and see them in twenty years. Let's get some data on this.

I would say anything and everything I have said here and then some, in person. Hell, I think I could even pull up a comedy route I did.

If people are going to be so gender, age, whatever sensitive... I am sure I can get their feathers a flappin at some point. Hell, this dementia I am entering will surely offend a lot more before my time is up.

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:14:32 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Partners of any age will often leave when the other gets sick. I cannot tell you how many I lost for that reason, once they got a taste and fill up and how many people I counseled because their spouse of many years decided it wasn't any fun anymore.

Is it too much to think, believe, assume... whatever... that a young person might be overwhelmed by his older spouse's illness and youth be gone and leave?

You just contradicted yourself, hon. If people of any age can bail out and hit the bricks when the going gets tough--then age really doesn't have anything to do with it, does it? The salient issue is character. Some people have it. Most people don't.

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"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
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(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:17:19 PM

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I did not. A younger person is more likey to leave an older person in my opinion. When they are getting older even than in the begining and when age brings with it... a few minor details of ill health.

Edit to add. I do agree that charactor has a lot to do with all sorts of things. However, most younger people, charactor or not.. simply are not into being with an older person for more than the fun of it.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 4/5/2009 9:20:01 PM >

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:20:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Where are the twenty year relationships between older women and younger people? I want to see a twenty year old get with a forty year old and see them in twenty years. Let's get some data on this.

Ask and you shall receive. Here's a story about the most famous female photographer/cinematographer of the 20th century. I especially like the part where she finally married her submissive a few weeks before she died of cancer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wikipedia
In the 1960s, Riefenstahl became interested in Africa from Hemingway's book and from the photographs of George Rodger.[24] Rodger, who had taken the first photographs of the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, refused to help Riefenstahl meet Africans, citing their backgrounds.[24] Riefenstahl took up photography, documenting a diverse array of subjects. She traveled many times to Africa[29] to photograph the Nuba tribe in Sudan, with whom she sporadically lived, learning about their culture so she could photograph them more easily.[39] They readily accepted her since they knew nothing of her past.[14] She began a lifelong companionship with her cameraman Horst Kettner, who was 40 years her junior and assisted her with the photographs; they were together from the time she was 60 and he was 20.[43] She was granted Sudanese citizenship for her services to the country, becoming the first foreigner to receive a Sudanese passport.[44]

In 2003, at the age of 101, Riefenstahl married Horst Kettner. Leni Riefenstahl died in her sleep on the late evening of September 8, 2003 at her home in Pöcking, Germany, a few weeks after her 101st birthday. She had been suffering from cancer. She was buried in the Waldfriedhof cemetery in Munich.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:21:07 PM

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Okay we have one example.

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:25:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Okay we have one example.

*shrug* How common are these relationships, historically and in the present? You will find many more examples with older men and younger women, but this is because these relationships are not so brutally condemned by society.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
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(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:37:52 PM

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Society will not change over-night. I can't even address that. What I can address is the fact that I have been with younger people and in my own life have experienced more than one example of a younger person leaving an older person for reasons of age and health. The older guys did it too. And almost every single one that left me, young and old... found themselves a younger person to be with.

So... what is wrong with me or other's even taking into consideration, society, life experience and friend's experiences and determining that they want a certain age group to chose a partner from, taking all things into consideration... like health, finances, what happens in life and what they wish to do or wish not to do becasue they already have done it or whatever?

People who do not have um's may not have a lot of the things to consider that those with them have to consider and if you have ever known a twenty something daughter... you would know what I mean! Or a son who resents that mom has sex, even more so with a guy his age. There are in-laws and family gatherings and some people are not going to accept things.

So those of you who pave the way to a new time when relationships are accepted no matter what, I am thankful... but I don't need to pave the path for anything here. I just want to live my life out the way I wish and not be judged becasue I want certain things. That is just as bad as judging someone for being with a young person. Live and let live I say... but that rarely happens.

I haven't seen anyone judge anyone who has a relationship with a younger person.. but I sure have seen name calling and judgment towards those that don't wish to have the same kind of relationship. In this thread and others.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:51:34 PM

MzMia

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Shakti, it looks like you and your aiden are in love, and you appear
to have a solid, lasting and loving relationship.

I prefer older submissive's but there is never any guarantee on how long a relationship will LAST.

From what I can see around here, you and aiden have one of the longest running long term
D/s relationships on the boards.

Most of us here hope your relationship lasts a long time, and we wish you both all the best.
{{Huggles to Shakti and aiden}}

< Message edited by MzMia -- 4/5/2009 9:59:25 PM >

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Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 10:08:49 PM

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quote:

So, my question is what does "too young" mean? Does it mean that, because many subs my age are immature, insincere, and in this for themselves, the women don't even want to waste their time giving me a chance? Or is it more the fact that the women have a psychological hang up about dominating a man young enough to be her son?

Do any of you actually prefer significantly younger men?

Do any of you have a certain age (younger than you, older than 18 obviously) that you would never consider for a relationship? If so, why?

People please accept that this is my opinion, not my rules for anyone else.

Too young refers to many things. Experiential, maturity, peers and being used.
Experiential, not bdsm, but life. It is really demoralizing to talk to someone and not have common frames of reference. Experiential can be a minor issue, but isn't most of the time. Experiential, bdsm, under 25 I have no issue with lack of bdsm experience. It is natural. Over 25, the person was too weak to pursue their needs. Too weak for me.

Maturity, I actually don't find this as big an issue as you seem to expect. If someone is immature at any age, I disconnect from them. It is not an age thing, it is a developmental issue. It is not that uncommon for a person to be mature at 21 or even younger, if life handed them enough crap, or they were very lucky and had the right environment.

Peers, it can be embarrassing to introduce the new pet to friends (mainstream) and family.

The main issue for me is being used. People say anything (especially men) to get to the goal. I am not being prejudiced against men, this is based on experience. Women have their own little games. Men will on a very consistent level lie to get off. In bdsm, it may not be explicitly sexual, it is satisfaction of the need to submit, get beaten, etc. but it is the same as a guy on a date. If he isn't interested, he will still try to dip his wick before he goes home. Very selfish and detrimental to the other person. Most young men looking for older dommes are setting up to use her to learn everything he can and then (or sometimes simultaneously) look for a nice little domme, who is clueless, to be with. Sorry for the shot at the little dommes, but it is true that you are also inexperienced. I don't hold it against them, unless it is at my expense. Youth is not a crime. I played hard when I was young.

The challenge for the little pet trying to get an older dommes attention is to show their motivation for wanting that involvement. My question for Michael is, why older dommes? Your answer to that will tell a lot.

Younger men, my answer on attraction to anyone is based on that specific person. A younger person has to build trust with me that they are not setting me up. I like a certain look, a certain mindset, an ability to explore, a definite interest in exploring pain. A younger mind is, more accurately, a definite interest. It doesn't matter so much about the chronological age.

Psychological hang up maybe, preference definitely. Age play. Combine young with age play and I will vomit. Combine age play with anything and I will vomit. Not literally. lol

Under 21 is forever and always off limits. I never in my life dated under 21, it has no attraction now. Under 21 can't drink. It is not worth the effort and is well below acceptable odd for success. Everything negative, experiential, maturity, peers and being used is exacerbated by being that young. Judgment also comes into question. 21 and under is the group that pulls the wings off of butterflies. Imagine what they will do to people.

My biggest things with you personally would be liking foot worship rather than sex. Damn. More would be ok, but no sex. What a bummer. The other is the reference to http://oregonstate.edu/instruct/phl302/distance_arc/las_casas/Aristotle-slavery.html Unless I missed something, what I got was women are natural slaves. Yeah, that is so interesting. Yup. I am naturally a slave. I have been misguided in my belief and experience. I am enlightened. I am -pick a phrase- but it is not, impressed with your coherence, continuity or sincerity. You might want to consider a disclaimer on that link.

Good luck in your search. lol

HAGO

< Message edited by SurrenderForMe -- 4/5/2009 10:25:56 PM >

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 10:25:27 PM

gentlemanprince

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I know what you mean, but for me it's even worse. I remember gas at $.29 (and as low as $.19 during gas wars), don't have any idea what "The Dead" might be, and have heard of but don't care for John, Paul, Ringo or George (try Frank, Ella, Nat and Perry instead). Luckily for me, although my Lady is 15 years younger than I am, she and I have most things in common.

The bottom line is that I doubt I would be interested in a Domme younger than 45 and certainly not one younger than 40. There is far more to a D/s relationship than kink.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/6/2009 12:52:48 AM

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I actually don't have any issue with being an old bat. In My particular case, there have been some pretty good things that come along with age that I wouldn't trade.

Shatki, I had a feeling that you'd be along. I understand why it irritates you when folks have preconceived notions, and it would probably burn My butt, too, if I was living your life instead of living Mine. Still, you do have to cut the rest of us a little slack. Not every younger submissive is an aidan, or a boijen. If they were, these kind of debates wouldn't exist in the first place.

As for the movie quote, sorry, but I still find that funny. It was more about what a man will do in lowering his standards for a hot piece of ass than anything else.

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/6/2009 5:46:56 AM

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Actually, I prefer youthful men and while the age range I like most is 24 - 34, I'm open to conversation with men 22 to 42. I don't have children so I don't think of young guys as kids. Over the last three years, I've been involved with men from about 11/12 years younger than me to someone about 4 years older. I was surprised that in my experiences, the men that were 23-25 were more mature, confident and sure of thier choices than the ones that I got involved with that were in thier late 20s or even 40. -- I'm sure it's just a strange coincidence.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

Greetings,

I have a question for the Dommes who are significantly older than me. I am 23. It seems like almost every time I send a message to a dominant woman in her late 30s or 40s, this is the basic reply I get: "Thank you for your message. You seem really sincere and have a great profile but you are too young for me. Good luck in your search."

So, my question is what does "too young" mean? Does it mean that, because many subs my age are immature, insincere, and in this for themselves, the women don't even want to waste their time giving me a chance? Or is it more the fact that the women have a psychological hang up about dominating a man young enough to be her son?

Do any of you actually prefer significantly younger men?

Do any of you have a certain age (younger than you, older than 18 obviously) that you would never consider for a relationship? If so, why?

Thank you for your time, ladies.

-Michael

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/6/2009 9:04:52 AM

Posts: 368
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From: GA
Status: offline

quote:

So, my question is what does "too young" mean? Does it mean that, because many subs my age are immature, insincere, and in this for themselves, the women don't even want to waste their time giving me a chance? Or is it more the fact that the women have a psychological hang up about dominating a man young enough to be her son?

Do any of you actually prefer significantly younger men?

Do any of you have a certain age (younger than you, older than 18 obviously) that you would never consider for a relationship? If so, why?

too young means exactly that, too young and out of my acceptable age limit i set for myself. i don't have a psychological hang up, my age choice is based merely on my personal experiences...

yes, i like younger men and the youngest (as of this year) i have had encounters w/ (in the Life) is 24--with that said, i did so even though my limit is 26. for me, i would probably not consider anyone under 24 in this lifestyle unless he had experiences (at least a year)...and let's say he had experience...then i'd say no one younger than 23.

[my coins

]

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(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/6/2009 3:10:31 PM

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Well, this has been quite interesting.

Thank you to EVERY ONE who responded to this. I've learned a lot of things that I didn't know. I know some people were harsh in their responses but I think that's good. I value honesty, even if the truth hurts.

I learned a lot reading these posts and I now have a better understanding of why a woman might be apprehensive to consider a much younger sub. I still would prefer to find an older woman but I will now be more open-minded to finding someone closer to my age and not take it personally when I'm told that I am too young.

I know I have a lot to learn about this lifestyle and I am very open to being put in my place, if that is what is necessary.

Thanks again, everyone.

-Michael

(in reply to MsDDom)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/6/2009 3:20:20 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

The above response is from someone who obviously hasn't had the joy of meeting me.

As an actual response to the OP...some Dommes just need to be surprised by the overwhelming ability and cultural understanding of an s-type at our age (I'm 23 as well). I'd also argue that checking Dommes out online limits their first impressions to what they can read about you rather than your actual presentation and character. Try hitting a local SM event.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsK

BoiJen,

You just about sent my tea all over my screen on that one. Not only all the above, but endlessly humble, too!

:)

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(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/6/2009 3:42:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Old joke from a movie. "Forget Paris" to be exact.

The character Billy Crystal plays is dating this young woman. While he is talking with his friend in the kitchen, they discuss the relationship.....

"I asked her where she was when Kennedy was shot. She asked if Ted Kennedy was shot.

Kinda says it all. (With a twist).

(in reply to LadyPact)

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