quasi-experienced

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

quasi-experienced

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> quasi-experienced

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

quasi-experienced - 1/29/2006 8:53:29 PM

zeph

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/16/2006
Status: offline

This boy is experienced online only, but as is plainly clear, he even writes in a submissive/passive tone. Many Dommes here have asked what turns subs/slaves on, an dthis boy would like to say that what has always turned him on was his Mistress asserting Her dominion over him; for example, ordering him into a vulnerable position and then taking advantage to do some thing like lightly wrap Her fingernails aroun his throat and softly whisper in his ear that She owned him, mind, body and soul, and theat She would do whatever she liked to him. for this slaveboy, at least, it is a HUGE turnon.

One of this boy's biggest dissapointments has been the time that he submitted a fantasy of his to his Mistress which included something that She had never done with him, only to tell Her boy that She also liked to do that, and when this boy realized that She had held back for the sake of her lowly slaveboy, this boy felt...perhaps "crestfallen" would be an appropriate description of what this boy felt. a sub/slave should never have to remined their Dominator/Owner that such is their role.

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/29/2006 8:59:55 PM

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zeph

This boy is experienced online only, but as is plainly clear, he even writes in a submissive/passive tone. Many Dommes here have asked what turns subs/slaves on, an dthis boy would like to say that what has always turned him on was his Mistress asserting Her dominion over him; for example, ordering him into a vulnerable position and then taking advantage to do some thing like lightly wrap Her fingernails aroun his throat and softly whisper in his ear that She owned him, mind, body and soul, and theat She would do whatever she liked to him. for this slaveboy, at least, it is a HUGE turnon.

One of this boy's biggest dissapointments has been the time that he submitted a fantasy of his to his Mistress which included something that She had never done with him, only to tell Her boy that She also liked to do that, and when this boy realized that She had held back for the sake of her lowly slaveboy, this boy felt...perhaps "crestfallen" would be an appropriate description of what this boy felt. a sub/slave should never have to remined their Dominator/Owner that such is their role.

You will dramatically increase your appeal if you write and communicate like a normal man and not in "sub mode." You state that your experience is "online only." If you want to attract a woman for real time experiences, you will want to consider dropping the roleplay in text. The women reading your words are not "in your bdsm fantasy" -- they are women reading your words and considering whether or not you are interesting enough to want to get to know *BEFORE* engaging in play with you.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to zeph)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/29/2006 9:36:21 PM

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

a sub/slave should never have to remined their Dominator/Owner that such is their role.

No, a sub shouldnt have to do that, but then again, when you gain experience in the real world, you will find that not everything goes according to what your limited online experiences have been. Welcome to the boards.

_____________________________

(in reply to zeph)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/29/2006 10:26:55 PM

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
You state that your experience is "online only." If you want to attract a woman for real time experiences, you will want to consider dropping the roleplay in text.

It's unclear that he wants to, as his profile says he's searching for an on-line Mistress.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 4:38:43 AM

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zeph

This boy is experienced online only, but as is plainly clear, he even writes in a submissive/passive tone. Many Dommes here have asked what turns subs/slaves on, an dthis boy would like to say that what has always turned him on was his Mistress asserting Her dominion over him; for example, ordering him into a vulnerable position and then taking advantage to do some thing like lightly wrap Her fingernails aroun his throat and softly whisper in his ear that She owned him, mind, body and soul, and theat She would do whatever she liked to him. for this slaveboy, at least, it is a HUGE turnon.

One of this boy's biggest dissapointments has been the time that he submitted a fantasy of his to his Mistress which included something that She had never done with him, only to tell Her boy that She also liked to do that, and when this boy realized that She had held back for the sake of her lowly slaveboy, this boy felt...perhaps "crestfallen" would be an appropriate description of what this boy felt. a sub/slave should never have to remined their Dominator/Owner that such is their role.

I would agree that your posting would be easier to read if it were done in typical English, but I'm not sure how your Mistress displayed a lack of understanding of her role, based on your example. Because she didn't so something you wanted? Would you care to explain further?

Be well,
Julie

< Message edited by LadyJulieAnn -- 1/30/2006 4:39:07 AM >

(in reply to zeph)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 5:31:40 AM

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

I'm going to take a stab at this and say it wasn't about being disappointed because she didn't do something he wanted her to do...

I think he's saying that he felt disappointed to find that she held back her own desires.

Of course what he should probably note is that while FemDoms are all sorts of fabulous... none of the ones I've met can read minds yet. He should also bear in mind that a FemDom who looks out for her submissive's mental, physical and emotional well-being is definitely a good find... and it sounds as though the Domme in question had an interest she felt was too extreme to dish out at that point.

My advice to him would be to communicate his desires and interests in plain English... "I like this fetish, this fetish, this fetish, etc." Because she's not going to know unless he tells her.

My second bit of advice would be to ask what she's interested in as well.

I think that a BDSM checklist could have gone over really well in this scenario.

Lastly... I think he was 'crestfallen' to find out that she'd showed restraint. I think he's feeling disappointed with himself. He's feeling as though she couldn't indulge in that fetish - possibly feeling as though she didn't trust him to be ready for that fetish. He therefore feels that he is a disappointment to her since he thinks she didn't feel as though he were ready for it.

He's new and it sounds like the Domme in his mind is the Domme so often found in porn. She's a mean, abusive leather clad bitch who doesn't hold back and does anything and everything to satiate her darkest desires - without asking what the submissive wants, possibly without caring what the submissive wants.

My last bit of advice would be to knock off the porn pleasures. Real life is not titled "Mistress Bitch Flays Stupid Slut Boy Repeatedly" (And no her arm never gets tired!)

< Message edited by MadameDahlia -- 1/30/2006 5:37:52 AM >

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 5:44:27 AM

Posts: 1194
Status: offline

speaking as a submissive who has also only had online experience, i have to say that i hope you have much better luck in real life than i have had thus far. although it has not been directly stated, i don't think alot of people here think highly of those who haven't been lucky enough to find a real life partner and thus shun those who want to make the transition.

then again, it may be just my own disillusion bringing me to this conclusion...well, conclusion is a little final, but i know that i have not been displaying myself very positively.

i shall try harder to work on that.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to zeph)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 9:11:22 AM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

speaking as a submissive who has also only had online experience, i have to say that i hope you have much better luck in real life than i have had thus far. although it has not been directly stated, i don't think alot of people here think highly of those who haven't been lucky enough to find a real life partner and thus shun those who want to make the transition.

then again, it may be just my own disillusion bringing me to this conclusion...well, conclusion is a little final, but i know that i have not been displaying myself very positively.

i shall try harder to work on that.

michaelGA, I'm having a hard time understanding the ideas you have about online "experience". Fantasizing does not equate to actual experience. Typing and jacking off do not equal experience in anything except typing, jacking off and fantasizing. Just as jacking off and fantasizing about having sex with Angelina Jolie does NOT translate to a sexual experience with her. Experience is about action and doing something in real life.

Please understand that I am not belittling you, or the fact that you have BDSM fantasies. I am not attempting to undermine your desires. Everyone in this lifestyle started out with fantasies and desires however, the experience comes with acting on those desires and fantasies.

I haven't seen anyone shun you or anyone else for that matter that wants to make the transition from online fantasy to real life. In fact, there's an entire thread and then some, dedicated to giving YOU advice on how to make that transition. I would hardly call that shunning.

You are correct that it's your own delusion. I know that you've been working on your outlook because I've seen some posts from you that didn't involve your personal pity party, what a treat! You have quite a sense of humor when you let yourself have fun! Keep working on that positive outlook and things will definitely improve.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to michaelGA)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 11:42:21 AM

zeph

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

I would agree that your posting would be easier to read if it were done in typical English, but I'm not sure how your Mistress displayed a lack of understanding of her role, based on your example. Because she didn't so something you wanted? Would you care to explain further?

Be well,
Julie

No, because She didn't do something that She wanted, because She thought that her slave might not find it appealing.

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 3:31:01 PM

Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

speaking as a submissive who has also only had online experience, i have to say that i hope you have much better luck in real life than i have had thus far

In my life i have found that "the harder i work (at a thing) ... the luckier i get."

st50

_____________________________

i want to be your ... #1 lowest common denominator.

Destiny happens in a moment ... in the blink of an eye.

(in reply to zeph)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 3:35:48 PM

Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

this boy felt...perhaps "crestfallen"

i think crestfallen is a lovely feeling, so i would say ... enjoy it.

st50

_____________________________

i want to be your ... #1 lowest common denominator.

Destiny happens in a moment ... in the blink of an eye.

(in reply to seaturtle50)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 4:11:07 PM

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zeph

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

I would agree that your posting would be easier to read if it were done in typical English, but I'm not sure how your Mistress displayed a lack of understanding of her role, based on your example. Because she didn't so something you wanted? Would you care to explain further?

Be well,
Julie

No, because She didn't do something that She wanted, because She thought that her slave might not find it appealing.

Thanks for the clarification. It sounds like you both might still be building trust and getting to know each other (I'm not sure how long you've been talking with her). Communication is essential in any relationship, as I'm sure you know, and it sounds like you both haven't quite reached the point where you comfortably know what the other wants out of the relationship.

In my relationship, I want my sub to get something out of our interactions, even if it's the satisfaction that he endured something for me that he didn't particularly like. When developing a relationship with my sub, we made sure we had very close interests, or else it wouldn't work. We've been together a year already, but we still have times where we openly discuss new activities and interests. It's more often than not that I do what I want, but with some things I want to try, there needs to be some discussion first.

I would encourage you to understand that your Mistress is human, and with that comes uncertainty at times. I certainly wouldn't view it as a weakness or lack of understanding of her role, but actually her way of trying to make sure you get something out of it too.

I hope things work out for you,
Julie

(in reply to zeph)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 4:19:17 PM

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zeph

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

I would agree that your posting would be easier to read if it were done in typical English, but I'm not sure how your Mistress displayed a lack of understanding of her role, based on your example. Because she didn't so something you wanted? Would you care to explain further?

Be well,
Julie

No, because She didn't do something that She wanted, because She thought that her slave might not find it appealing.

Ah, sounds like you all might want to step back and talk a bit more about needs, desires, and fantasies. Yes, as a submissive you are not only allowed to have them but (at least for me) you should share them because only then can she make the best decisions.

It also sounds like you just need more time to get to know each other.

Here's a terrible secret, zeph: Dominants are people who have to build up trust of their submissives just as much as the submissive must trust them PLUS the dominant must learn to trust herself.

I think we still live in a society (for better or worse) that says being selfish is bad, women being selfish is worse. Too often we are trained to think of fulfilling our out desires as ignoring others and being selfish. Thus if you two talk and you tell her everything you can about your interests and desires, that information can help her see that when her desires do not run into a hard limit, they are her being dominant, not her being selfish.

Am I making sense?

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to zeph)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 8:30:24 PM

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

In my life i have found that "the harder i work (at a thing) ... the luckier i get."

==========

then you are damned lucky.

seems to ME the friggen harder "I" have worked at something the more i have gotten kicked in the goddamned teeth......and stabbed in the back!

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to seaturtle50)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 8:43:04 PM

Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: zeph

This boy is experienced online only, but as is plainly clear, he even writes in a submissive/passive tone. Many Dommes here have asked what turns subs/slaves on, an dthis boy would like to say that what has always turned him on was his Mistress asserting Her dominion over him; for example, ordering him into a vulnerable position and then taking advantage to do some thing like lightly wrap Her fingernails aroun his throat and softly whisper in his ear that She owned him, mind, body and soul, and theat She would do whatever she liked to him. for this slaveboy, at least, it is a HUGE turnon.

One of this boy's biggest dissapointments has been the time that he submitted a fantasy of his to his Mistress which included something that She had never done with him, only to tell Her boy that She also liked to do that, and when this boy realized that She had held back for the sake of her lowly slaveboy, this boy felt...perhaps "crestfallen" would be an appropriate description of what this boy felt. a sub/slave should never have to remined their Dominator/Owner that such is their role.

You will dramatically increase your appeal if you write and communicate like a normal man and not in "sub mode." You state that your experience is "online only." If you want to attract a woman for real time experiences, you will want to consider dropping the roleplay in text. The women reading your words are not "in your bdsm fantasy" -- they are women reading your words and considering whether or not you are interesting enough to want to get to know *BEFORE* engaging in play with you.

Akasha

*Nods in agreement with Akasha*

But you also have to understand zeph, is that you are there for Her.. not the other way around.. whos to say She didn't INTEND to hold back?

Holding back, may be one of Her ways to train you

J.M.H.O

*V*

_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 9:10:56 PM

Posts: 1194
Status: offline

quote:

michaelGA, I'm having a hard time understanding the ideas you have about online "experience". Fantasizing does not equate to actual experience. Typing and jacking off do not equal experience in anything except typing, jacking off and fantasizing. Just as jacking off and fantasizing about having sex with Angelina Jolie does NOT translate to a sexual experience with her. Experience is about action and doing something in real life.

i do not find "cybering" enjoyable...never have. i am 43 years old and have long since grown out of "jacking off" to any online crap.

as for my idea of submission, i don't believe that all submissives are focused on the sexual aspect of the lifestyle.

i also am intelligent enough to know that my online experiences are not "true" experiences...hence the reason i am currently seeking something real.

i also know that my outspokenesss thus far has been frowned upon and believe that nobody cars for an opinionated submissive.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 9:33:28 PM

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA
i also know that my outspokenesss thus far has been frowned upon and believe that nobody cars for an opinionated submissive.

Opinion is one thing; the method of presenting it, quite another. Any intelligent submissive will have opinions and intelligent submissives are a sought after commodity.

Actually, I don't see your opinions as a problem. What seems to be turning off people is your constant "poor poor me" drone and a pretty clear perception that you're not really interested in changing it.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to michaelGA)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/30/2006 9:48:54 PM

Posts: 1194
Status: offline

perhaps You're right, Sir. i don't want or need anyone's sympathies. who does? maybe You can enlighten me on the proper way of expressing my opinions in a more exceptable manner?

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: quasi-experienced - 1/31/2006 5:09:00 AM

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

perhaps You're right, Sir. i don't want or need anyone's sympathies. who does? maybe You can enlighten me on the proper way of expressing my opinions in a more exceptable manner?

I was about to answer your question when I encountered

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

i have expressed something similar to this in another forum. i would love to fulfill this fantasy sometime before i get too old to enjoy it...as long as there are absolutely no men involved...i despise men with a passion

Since I'm despised, you're on your own.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to michaelGA)

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> quasi-experienced

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.266