age differences in the Master/slave relationship

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age differences in the Master/slave relationship

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Gorean Lifestyles >> age differences in the Master/slave relationship

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age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/2/2006 6:47:23 AM

livesintheheart

Posts: 3
Joined: 12/29/2005
Status: offline

okay.

this girl is 12 years older than her Master. she has spent most of her life being brought up on the ideal that "older is better." she has dated/married older men, and younger men. her Master made some interesting points to her about age vs. dominance. this girl looks beyond the age factor anymore, but her parents, especially her mother, would never understand, and thinks this girl should be looking for a man older than her.

this girl is curious to hear opinions on this. do you base your opinions of a person and their abilities on their age? or do you look beyond the age, consider it irrelevant, and concentrate on the person beneath, and their intelligence, and mindset?

girl thanks any and all who may reply to this post.

respectfully,
anju

Post #: 1

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/2/2006 6:53:39 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I am 60. My Wife/FC is 30. My last kajira was 20 when I realeased her. Within reason, I have no constrictions on the age of any person I collar. I look for what is in them and their compatability to both myself and my home (including Lady Neets and our Malamute ~ Sasha).

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to livesintheheart)

Post #: 2

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/2/2006 8:25:47 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

Greetings to you,

age is just a number.
Master just turned 32 i will be 45.
Master has much more experience in the lifestyle than i.
we are just comapatable we fill the need with in each other.
He Masters, i serve, we smile....yes there are rough days as we learn each other and i train but it surely has nothing to do with age...more like my stubborness

Be Well

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to livesintheheart)

Post #: 3

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/2/2006 8:44:46 AM

RedDragonFreehol

Posts: 569
Joined: 1/12/2005
From: Denver, Colorado
Status: offline

Tal List,

In point of fact you see many M/s relationships both Gorean and non-Gorean where there is a significant age difference because it takes years of dedication to Mastery before a Master masters himself, and gains the knowledge and wisdom to master another. At which point, there are women, often younger, who look for masters, and finding none in their own age group (though there may be many claiming mastery) they come looking for the experience and wisdom that a seasoned Master can provide to them. Now, many of these relationships are transient because of the age difference, but for the time that they flourish, the slave has the benefit of one who can truely train and guide her into becoming the slave she knows is in her heart. This is something that the young Master-still-very-much-into-himself, and green as grass cannot provide.

Be well,

Omega

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 4

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/2/2006 8:54:35 AM

RedDragonFreehol

Posts: 569
Joined: 1/12/2005
From: Denver, Colorado
Status: offline

Tal anju,

Yours is actually the reverse of what is common in my experience (see my other post in this thread). Some Masters come to mastery early, or they start out younger on the journey, which is possibly the more true statement. It is perhaps unfortunate that so many men come into the various elements of lifestyle only later in life, and then, because it takes many years to achieve mastery, end up being less masters than some who started much earlier. Your post leaves out much information that would actually be required to definitively answer your question, but the essence is that mastery knows only experience and dedication. You can have that at 20, and build on it for several years, and then be in a postion to master any slave of any age. Mastery being the important concern. Or, you can start your journey at 45, be dedicated to spanking butts and playing at being a master, and never achieve anything except a few red bottoms to your credit. It takes all kinds to make the world.

I first got involved with M/s and Gorean life while I was in my late teens and early 20's. At that time, many of the slaves that I worked with were significantly older than I was. Now that I am older, I find that many of the slaves I work with are younger. What draws them is still the same as it ever was. Only now, I am much better at it. <wink>

Be well,

Omega
Master Of Red Dragon Freehold
Chairman of the High Council
Colorado Gorean Society

www.coloradogoreans.com
www.fraternalorderofgoreans.com
groups.yahoo.com/group/coloradogoreans
groups.yahoo.com/group/franternalorderofgoreans

(in reply to livesintheheart)

Post #: 5

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/2/2006 12:56:49 PM

MasterABD

Posts: 76
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline

Unfortunately the age barrier is one that has not yet been broken down in society, and therefore flows into the various kink lifestyles. I often hear that a young master doesn't have the experience in life to be a true master. I often hear people older then myself claiming that with age comes experience and therefore youth can't understand certain things. Where this does hold true, it is not definative. At 20, 15 year olds seem immature; at 30, 20 year olds seem immature; at 40, 30 year olds seem immature. By the time most people reach age 60+ they are calling anyone under 40 "kids".

However by age 20 I had been through a house fire, had medical problems most will never see, had been commited in a mental hospital, and ultimately had seen a great deal more of the world then many 3 times my age had seen. The truth is, age is just a number. Unfortunately most people associate that number with a level of experience. Women have been drilled that older men are wiser men throughout time, therefore it comes as no surprize that women tend to want older men and your mother would not understand that a younger man can be just as "wise". And factually speaking, this is all done on a suboncious level.

However there is also much that is true with youth. It is for this reason I prefer to find young slaves. What comes with youth is the ability to keep an open mind, the eagerness to try new things, and the ability to not get "set in ones ways". With age comes a more firm set of beliefs that is not easily swayed. Youth, when shown logic, will change their points of view. Age, when shown logic, will argue their points of view until someone gives up.

So to answer your question, yes I do base many things on age including the egarness to learn. However I base no ones level of experience on the numeric value of their age.

-ABitDifferent-
http://www.alternativealbamy.com

(in reply to RedDragonFreehol)

Post #: 6

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/2/2006 1:10:18 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Of course there is a vast difference in some people between their chronological age and their real age (maturity).

It also depends on what I want the slave for. If she is to eventually become a personal slave for me then there will be a sexual contect (inexperience is of no matter as she will have to learn what I require anyway ~ hint a good mouth (with no sharp pointy teeth) is an advantage. Obviously a white silk is fine too. but I like some one who can either dance or learn to dance (probably belly dancing) as well as having a goodly amount of commonsence. She will be on loan to Neets when Neets so desires it as well as to select friends (perhaps). However her demenour and how we react together without her wanting to pose as a threat to established relationships in the home (No one gets between myself and Neets). If the right girl comes along, I will always have room for a girl to take care of the bulk of the house work and help Neets, myself and any others residence I keeping the home running smoothly. This slave, a tower slave may or may not become sexually involved with either Neets or myself or both of us. Again age is less important than her ability to interact well with us.

As always, it is better to have empty collars than collar the wrong people.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MasterABD)

Post #: 7

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/6/2006 9:20:08 AM

unownedredhead

Posts: 498
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

This is a good question. I spoke with Dom last night for hours. who is almost 20 years my senior. In so many ways he seems so perfect. He is not Gorean which is the main down side as that is what I am truly seeking. But, the age difference does raise some good questions. He will die before I do and that loss would be very devastating especially since I lost my only other master to a car accident. This thread has really made me think.

_____________________________

Kneeling trembling at your feet

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 8

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/6/2006 9:36:39 AM

MasterAzrael

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

All the girls Ive trained have trained have been older.. its very difficult to find woman my age. Im 28 and have experience . I live in upstate ny as well. If you dont live in Albany then your choises are few if any. Albany is tofar to reasonably travel for me. It sucks..

(in reply to unownedredhead)

Post #: 9

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/6/2006 10:36:40 AM

MasterABD

Posts: 76
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline

I am not sure where in Upstate NY you are, but i have lists and lists of groups all over NY other then apex (which is not a group I recommend anyways if you are experienced).

-ABitDifferent-
http://www.alternativealbany.com

(in reply to MasterAzrael)

Post #: 10

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/6/2006 10:57:52 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2932
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

ABD
One of My Sons is the same age as You and I can assure You that
He is all the Dominant Gorean Master His Father ever was and More
and when Home runs and tends to well Our Home. However He was
born in a BDSM/Gor Home and of Two Dominant Parents so this
could be the differing factor and differance in that He has know
this life from birth and His Alpha Dominance is quite natural. I
see no age differance having any baring what so ever in the
Master/slave relationship. Most all of Our slaves are older then
My Son and His command of them goes with out word. Turning
over Power to another to have complete control over has never
to Us been a age thing, or a gender thing, or a race thing, or a
ability or disability thing, or religious thing. You have complete
Dominance to control Power and complete slavery to give Power
away in TPE. All the other *stuff/kinks* is the icing on the cake.

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 2/6/2006 11:05:00 AM >

(in reply to MasterABD)

Post #: 11

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/6/2006 5:12:18 PM

RedDragonFreehol

Posts: 569
Joined: 1/12/2005
From: Denver, Colorado
Status: offline

Tal unowned,

Might I inject a heavy dose of reality here. Ages do not dictate when one will die. They only increase the probability, but say nothing certain. The Dom in question might live to be 100, and you might walk out in front of a bus tomorrow. Only the conscience of the universe knows when your time has come. It sounds to this Master more like an excuse you may be tendering for your inability to overcome all those things your mother and society have taught you about age differences.

Be well,

Master Omega

(in reply to unownedredhead)

Post #: 12

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/6/2006 5:56:48 PM

unownedredhead

Posts: 498
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Tal Master Omega,

You are right some of my fears could be very ingrained from society, but my second husband was my only Master and he passed away in a car accident, I think that is part of my fear. You are right he was young, in his prime. I am still afraid to go through that kind of pain again. It took me a long time to work it out and to actively seek a new Master. As you know a Master - slave relationship is one of intense emotions, trust, bonding and love. It is not a relationship I would enter into lightly. I know the difference between BDSM and slavery. I also think I understand, as much as a woman can, the Gorean way. I am so glad I found this forum. Your guidance and advise is appreciated.

Respectfully,

Dina

_____________________________

Kneeling trembling at your feet

(in reply to RedDragonFreehol)

Post #: 13

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/6/2006 6:44:54 PM

RedDragonFreehol

Posts: 569
Joined: 1/12/2005
From: Denver, Colorado
Status: offline

Tal dina,

First, my condolences on your loss. Second, remember that old line from Shakespere "Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." You get a second chance at love. Maybe not of your own choosing, but still a second chance to do everything you might have done the first time had you been given time to do it. If you view it as a gift you have been given, it might lessen the fear a bit.

Be well,

Master Omega

(in reply to unownedredhead)

Post #: 14

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/6/2006 6:57:06 PM

nenakajira

Posts: 221
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

hi anju,

To me, age matters... well.. sorta. I have no problem with a man significantly older than myself and tend to prefer men atleast 4 or 5 years older at a minimum. (My Master now is 10 years older than I am)

I can not be with a younger man, however. It squiggs me out. I look at them and think "dear gods, you're a baby!" and there goes most of my respect and most of the sexual attraction. Such is life.

-nena{R}

(in reply to livesintheheart)

Post #: 15

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/6/2006 7:22:17 PM

SabrinaRising

Posts: 54
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline

Hello E/everyone,

I am finding my preferences for slaves leaning toward a significant age difference being an increasingly more convenient factor. I am quite sure this has mostly to do with the natural dominance that occurs between anyone older, wiser and more mature than a younger individual.
Also, I have a strong maternal instinct and in many ways it feeds this need.

Sabrina

(in reply to nenakajira)

Post #: 16

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/6/2006 7:58:40 PM

unownedredhead

Posts: 498
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Tal Master Omega,

Thank you for your kindness. You are very insightful. There are so many things I would have done differently. So many things I would love to have done and will do in the future to be much more pleasing to my future Master

. I think there will always be a certain amount of fear in an unowned slave (and in an owned one, giggle). The anticipation of so much joy and of course on the flip side the potential for so much pain. It really is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I also feel a collared woman is more free to be a woman than a free one.

Respectfully,

dina

_____________________________

Kneeling trembling at your feet

(in reply to RedDragonFreehol)

Post #: 17

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/7/2006 7:20:04 AM

MasterABD

Posts: 76
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nenakajira

and there goes most of my respect

As I see it, thats a fundamental flaw. It is my understanding that as a slave, or a free, of gorean background, you are supposed to answer only to your master, yet be respectful to everyone. If you have no respect, how can you be respectful?

-ABitDifferent-
http://www.alternativealbany.com

(in reply to nenakajira)

Post #: 18

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/7/2006 7:33:43 AM

dreamergirl

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

this girl is curious to hear opinions on this. do you base your opinions of a person and their abilities on their age? or do you look beyond the age, consider it irrelevant, and concentrate on the person beneath, and their intelligence, and mindset?

Hello to A/all here reading this,

In reponse, and new to this site so excuse any shyness i show.

To dreamer, if O/one limits themselves to seeking O/one within a certain age group they will more than likely end up alone. M/s, Gorean or otherwise, is something that begins in the mind, the connection needs to be there. Be that person girls age or much older, if she feels that connection, she will follow.

follow your heart anju and all will be well.

respectfully,
dreamer

(in reply to livesintheheart)

Post #: 19

RE: age differences in the Master/slave relationship - 2/7/2006 8:20:35 AM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

Greetings..~smiles~

Age factors are for this girl no different than any other factor used when seeking another in any type of relationship dynamic. Everyone has some sort of basic list that they use ..wether it turns out right or not.

When you meet the one you feel you connect with on more solidified levels..alot of those pre-determining factors get thrown out the window anyways.

I have always looked initially for one's somewhat older than myself at any given time. It really wasn't based on any Dominance factors but more of them having a higher propability for life experiences and how to handle or not to handle them situations.

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

(in reply to livesintheheart)

Post #: 20

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