Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much?

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Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/21/2009 10:45:56 PM

DreamGoddess666

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Joined: 5/21/2009
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As a transsexual woman, I've gotten nothing but crapped and spit on by the LGB community. I am starting to find it hard to defend homosexuals when they seem to hate me so much over something I was born with. I've already seen people on this site, lesbians, who say outright no transgendered people allowed, which is discrimination.

Seriously. Why is there discrimination inside the LGBT community? It makes no sense. How can gays and lesbians expect to be free of discrimination when they actually discriminate themselves against transsexuals? A male-to-female transsexual, once post-op, is just as much a woman as any natural-born woman and is just as much a woman as any lesbian. So why all the hate? You all should know better.

~Lindsey

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/21/2009 10:48:25 PM

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I mean no harm by this at all, but you will never face childbirth as a TS, will never have an ovarian cycle, and generally they may just spite you for the number of things that natural born women have to deal with.

Otherwise they may just uncomfortable with the parts > >

(in reply to DreamGoddess666)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/21/2009 10:48:53 PM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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Because they are still people. and some people, for whatever reason, will hold prejudices and make judgements. BEing gay, lesbian etc does not make anyone immune to the same problems evident among hets.

_____________________________

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to DreamGoddess666)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/21/2009 10:52:42 PM

LadySweetOrSour

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Joined: 3/21/2009
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I'm not a lesbian and I don't hate groups. I sometimes dislike individuals though.

I would suggest you get on your flame retardant suit. Every post you've made so far is negative. Now you're who you were born to be (regarding your op making you a "full" woman), you should be feeling a little more positive. If you are feeling positive, maybe start showing it. People are people, regardless of lifestyle choices, lesbianism, homosexuality, dom, sub, slave, whatever. Why do you automatically assume that anyone should know better?

(in reply to DreamGoddess666)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/21/2009 11:00:23 PM

DreamGoddess666

Posts: 88
Joined: 5/21/2009
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Actually it's hard to be positive. I've been blown off across multiple dating sites simply for being transsexual. I'm always honest up front. I'm a caring and loving person, but I'm transsexual. I'm a good person and a very gentle and tender person usually, but in the last eight months, I lost all my friends, most of my family, and can't get a date with anyone, all over my transsexuality and people's "discomfort" with it. It's gotten old and I've gotten bitter. I have no positive experiences to show for my honesty. I'm hurting, bad. I don't really have any positivity left in me because I lost everything and everyone that ever meant anything to me. If you could only understand, fathom what that kind of loss does to a person's self-esteem . . .

As for why they should know better . . . Gays and lesbians face the discrimination of the religious right on a daily basis. They should thus be above discrimination because they should understand how hurtful it is. Being against discrimination and then discriminating is called hypocracy.

This is the first forum I've found where I could vent these frustrations and talk about my problems. Most others, this is too "taboo" to talk about. I wanna experience new things. I want to be adventurous. I wanna learn more. Problem is, no one is willing to give me a chance. I've gotten to the point of giving up hope.

< Message edited by DreamGoddess666 -- 5/21/2009 11:01:11 PM >

(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/21/2009 11:47:14 PM

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From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

None of the labels, any labels, prevent people from being assholes.

There are people who either don't care about ones trans nature, or even like it.

I'm sorry for all the rejection you've experienced . . . . I've had a lot of rejection in my life, not like yours, but painful enough in it's own way . . . . . . Rejection sucks.

& you're in a tough part of the world to be trans, I would think, which doesn't help, I'm sure . . . . . I was gonna suggest seeing if there were any trans support groups in your area, but that doesn't seem likely; perhaps there are trans support discussion groups online . . .. . I would think that other transpersons have encountered similar kinds of rejection & discrimination . . . . (Not to dissuade you from being here, in addition to hanging out here, just trying to expand your options . . . . )

I have serious lifelong depression issues of a biochemical nature & staying positive is a daily struggle for me. I've found one of my most powerful tools is to focus unrelentingly on what I want, on my dreams & hopes & desires, & to let everything else drift away . . . . . . It's taken me time & work, but it beats the alternative for me . . . . . . For me, I'd rather be alone than to be surrounded by people who are merely putting up with me, tolerating me, or whatever . . . . . . Especially if those persons are supposed to be my friends & loved ones, those are the people who are supposed to be loving me & supporting me & if they don't, I have darn little space or time for them in my life . . . . . Life's too short to dwell in my own misery, much less let other people try to pile their misery on me . . . . . .

Sometimes I just have to have faith that there will be somebody out there who gets me, who understands & likes what I am . . . . . I offer you some belief, some positive focus.

& specifically, here on CollarMe, on the profile section, I'd suggest you use the 'Hide' button to create a positive space for yourself; that's what I do, I have all kinds of things that I detest seeing in profiles so I just 'Hide' those bothersome profiles as I encounter them . .. .

_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.

The Verbossinator

(in reply to DreamGoddess666)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 12:14:56 AM

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Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
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Wild guess, the "Penis thing?"
I'm all about the "penis thing too, mine. Fuckin' dykes don't like me either so don't feel like the Lone Ranger.

< Message edited by popeye1250 -- 5/22/2009 12:18:39 AM >

_____________________________

"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

(in reply to DemonKia)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 12:24:09 AM

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Hi Lindsey.

Nice pussy.

I mean kitty.

Lesbians like kitties.

Or is that titties?

Crap, now I can't remember.

Wait, you've had enough crap.

So Linsey, if I were to become a transexual, but then was attracted to only women, thus
becoming a lesbian, would I hate myself, should I hate myself, could I hate myself?

Probably not, and most lesbians probably don't hate you either. Could be a blend of
past experience, current perception, and expectation of what might come.

I must say however, that from my own experience, some (NOT ALL, inhale girls, and again)
in the alternative community, can sometimes be some of the most tacky, cruel and judgmental of
the people they associate with. I am sure each have their own reasoning for such, whether they
feel justified in doing such or not. The best defense is a good offense and all, protecting some
of the most painful scars which are not displayed for the eyes of the world to see. We are not
one another. We know one another, but we are as individual as we allow ourselves to be.

Certainly there must be a positive support system you can turn to, or leaned on when you were
moving forward from a mental and spiritual transformation into a physical one. Avoid the trap
you yourself abhor as you journey, such as convicting all the religious right as discriminating
against the LGBT community. (You yourself left the T out of the commonly used script)

Let your light shine, and it will shine on those before you, reflecting in multitude the brightness.

Let your words be as a song sung in harmony, uplifting and enlightening, your happiness as instrument.

You somehow found the strength in you to complete a life change few of us could find the courage to do.

Remember that, remember you.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to DreamGoddess666)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 12:52:32 AM

Posts: 94
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

Hi all,
Dream Goddess, I was born Intersexed [which is a kissing cousin to being transsexed], raised male and later reverted to female. OK, I had no penis per se and do have ovaries (which don't work) but I also have never ovulated, never borne children, been rejected and discriminated against etc etc etc.

This may sound a bit trite and I don't mean it to be disparaging towards you, but I remember a cartoon from my much younger days called "Super Chicken" which, in its theme song chorus had the words '...and if you're afraid you'll have to overlook it, because you knew the job was dangerous when you took it (followed by a chicken squalk, not that that is really relevant *s*)'.

My point is, you knew when you transitioned - just like I did - that you would face difficulties. Those difficulties include the sad but simple fact that some people will always hate you for your past. It may not be fair and it is judgemental and silly and pick your adjective and place it here, but it was also inevitable and you knew that coming in to your transition.

Not *all* lesbians hate you. Not *all* left handers or people from the even numbered houses in a street or any other grouping of people hate you either. Some do, most don't; truth be told, the majority don't give a toss and it tends to only be us who raise it as an issue because of our own innate insecurities - something that must really frustrate some people who are *trying* to give us a fair go. I'm not calling you insecure but I am suggesting that making as sweeping a generalisation as "all lesbiand hate us" is both unhelpful and wrong.

Compared to your average woman I am "too tall". I am "too fat" My voice is "too deep" I am "read" by those who meet me and my past is obvious. Guess what? Most people simply don't care and to them I'm just another woman, another Domme, and another lesbian gal. My submissive/girlfriend's name is Jane and we love each other; she is not trans by the way. I've been rejected by some lesbians but not ALL lesbians. I've been hurt by some people but not ALL people. I'm friendly with most people, liked by many and loved by some but there are some who dislike me intensely and a few who actively hate me - and everyone here is in the same boat I should think. Some of those in the dislike/hate group do so because of the way I was born. Most don't; they found different reasons to hate me.

The most important thing is to love yourself. Be proud of the courage you have shown and thankful for how much better life now is for you. Don't dwell on life's peanut gallery of haters and naysayers; immerse yourself in LIFE and cherish every moment of it. Be tolerant towards those who are intolerant to others and remember - their curse is that they will be themselves forever. I pity them their narrow minds but they have an absolute right to have them, so I don't waste my time being upset at them.

Neither should you.

Blessings always.

(in reply to chiaThePet)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 2:17:34 AM

DreamGoddess666

Posts: 88
Joined: 5/21/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Wild guess, the "Penis thing?"
I'm all about the "penis thing too, mine. Fuckin' dykes don't like me either so don't feel like the Lone Ranger.

I don't have a penis. I'm post-op. I make that clear every time I sent a message, even. They still don't consider me a real woman. Dang near every woman I've spoken with on all dating sites reject me for being transsexual and say I'm not a real woman.

I wish life was better for me now, MissDominae, but my life has actually only gotten worse since I had the surgery. My friends told me they accepted it, then were shocked when I went through with it. I had no reason to suspect they're turn on me because I trusted them. Then they turned on me. Now I have a hard time trusting anyone at all. I had no idea so many lesbians were against dating transsexuals, either, going into this; I had no way of knowing. I had no idea how many difficulties faced me. I knew I would have trouble with men, but I'm not interested in men so that was a non-issue for me.

Now I regret ever going through with it because I'm far more miserable now than I was when I was living the lie. I feel nothing but shame over what I am, because that's what people have taught me to feel.

(in reply to popeye1250)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 2:24:03 AM

Posts: 33061
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From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Well- I dont understand trans. Sorry.

I am not crazy over gay people....I have no interest in moving to a gay ghetto.   There is a self hate- and it can come out at various times.   I have known only 2 trans in my life.   Both were in a place mentally that- was where I could not develop a friendship. Like- are you a man or a woman. How do I act?    A woman that used to be a man is odd. I like my penis and would not want it cut off.

Gays in general have a high rate of drinking- drugging, and sex.    gambling.     and suicide.

The preferred life style IS hetero sexual. I don't have the need to change the world to be more fair.

Gays are messed up.    But- when compared to straight people, straight people give it a run for the money in being messed up.

How I talk to a lady and how I talk to a male is different.   It simply is.

But then I get confused.... man woman, cut off the penis, hold the door open? refrain from vulgarity?   be curious or is that considered being nosy.

Of course- if you stand next to a person- you are banging that person.

Trans are messed up. Gays are messed up.   and even the preferred lifestyle- Heterosexual has a large amount of messed up losers there.

The wold isnt sure how to deal with a a trans. and it is totally frustrating to fake like I under stand- because I do not.

In terms of sticking for gays; ... dont.    Lets a good idea stand on its own weight. Criticism can lead to improvement.

Candidly- gays deserve to get a rap- on the messed up part.

While I prefer to know the gender of the person,   i don't view things as sexual.     I take it the other direction.   I could care less who does what in bed.   I don't want to be forced into bed- one way or the others- and to me- while at the dentist- my concern is professional proficiency, not on if he wants to cut off his penis.   When I get my hair cut- I am not interested in what the cutter needs in bed.

....here is a way to think of it.   Suppose my fly is down. I ram around out in the yard and at the store and people get a odd look about them.     What I dont need is someone to stick up for me.... I might need someone to alert me that my fly is down. But maybe that pair of shorts the zipper is broke and I ignore that- and frollic about the town carefree and with glee.
-- at the end of the day- it is on me to improve my pants- or not.   Possibly face a ticket- scorn- cat calls- or ever a fist fight.

Be ok with you- because when you gawk at me- and stare me down- what you then see isn't quite me- but your own reflection of the insecurity that is per you.... not I.

Think of life as a vacation.   There are people who do so- making the pictures more important then the moment. Rush to relax. I have to have it ALL. Get a good picture. Hurry up so we can see all the spots... but what if you get no pictures? a bad picture?   what if you had such a god time- you plum forgot to bring the camera.

...well guess what?   that is when you are in fact- then LIVING.

You could call it "zen"-

See?

(in reply to MissDominae)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 2:37:12 AM

DreamGoddess666

Posts: 88
Joined: 5/21/2009
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You are one of the most ignorant and hurtful people I've ever come across. It makes me really wanna forget about ever coming back to this site.

I'm a woman, period. Being transsexual just means I was born with some incorrect body parts. You would treat me the exact same way you would treat any other woman you encounter, plain and simple.

Also, saying gays are messed up is incredibly offensive and if you were right in front of me right now I'd probably stab you in the eye with my pen, that's how mad that statement makes me. You have a lot to learn about being a decent human being.

As it stands, though, I have had too much to deal with, all in a single day, so I think maybe I'm just gonna down the rest of my pills now and just end it. I can't live with the pain anymore. It hurts too damn much.

It's because of people like you that I feel as though suicide is the only answer left.

< Message edited by DreamGoddess666 -- 5/22/2009 2:38:37 AM >

(in reply to pahunkboy)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 2:39:50 AM

YoungBlondeSlave

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Joined: 2/7/2006
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*hugs* i'm sorry you feel this way. i can't imagine what it's like for you, but if you need someone to talk to and vent i'm here.

< Message edited by YoungBlondeSlave -- 5/22/2009 2:40:59 AM >

(in reply to DreamGoddess666)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 2:53:24 AM

DreamGoddess666

Posts: 88
Joined: 5/21/2009
Status: offline

I do need someone to talk to. I lost the rest of my friends today. The first "couldn't deal with me anymore", the second got upset when I got so angry about being excluded from the homosexual community and my declaration that I wouldn't stand up for LGB causes anymore, and the third rejected me for other reasons and really hurt my feelings so I told her off. I have nothing and nobody left. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so hopeless. I don't know why I'm bearing all on this message board. At first it was just because it's the only place that would allow me to vent about my frustrations with how I'm being treated. Now I've just got to the point where I just feel like complete crap, especially after what that last guy said.

I want help. I need help. I just, I wish I had someone to comfort me, someone to care about me. I suffer from depression and then some. This has been a horrible day.

(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 2:56:06 AM

Posts: 5521
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From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

I think you misunderstood pahunkboy's posting, most of what you appear to have taken as serious was instead ironic & / or sarcastic, tho' it can be hard to tell without tone of voice & body language . . . . . .

Ummm, pahunkboy is gay, himself, which is not obvious from the little bit of info that shows on these postings, but that's what he has listed on his profile . . . . . . & he usually tries to be humorous in his postings . . . . . I also thought his posting was done in that kinda bitter, been-there-done-that tone about being discriminated against . . . . . .

& while you might not want to hear that some people find the whole trans thing confusing, it's his reality that he was sharing, just as you've been sharing your reality with us . . . . I would hope that you would offer the compassion you seek, since for me the compassion I get from the exterior universe frequently mirrors the compassion I'm nurturing in my heart . . .. .

One giant rule of thumb I rely on is that I cannot change the world outside myself, all I can ever change is myself. I must be the change I want to see in the world. I must be the love & peace & joy & etc that I seek. I can never find that which I am not. Works for me, but it's neither easy nor instantaneous, but for me the alternatives are worse . . ....

(in reply to DreamGoddess666)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 2:59:29 AM

DreamGoddess666

Posts: 88
Joined: 5/21/2009
Status: offline

Oh, it seemed like a serious and very hurtful post.

(in reply to DemonKia)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 3:03:06 AM

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

So I am causing your suicide?

Look- I did not create the world, I did not form society. I hate my life sometimes as well.

Taking a bunch of pills is not going to fix anything.   My love live sucks too. But the world is stuck with me. You cant demand and force someone to be the love of your life. Forced love is fake.

..the Internet is not the place to meet MR Right.   In person... around town.   But really- if you want to dwell in poor me mode - then that is your choice.

I will re-read my post in the morning.... perhaps I am over tired.

No one in life is happy = for very long.   Based on limited info in a few posts- I am to conclude precisely as you wish me to.
My buddy Ken Martin committed suicide. A selfish thing to do. My fishing buddy Rick    killed himself as well. Jenny attempted it.   ........There are terminally ill people in hospices and YOU are gonna take some pills.

Selfish and cowardly.         Hunny- we all have had pain in our life. You are not the first and only one to have the short end of the stick.

If you do follow thru on that threat- you are the most selfish woman on the planet.

(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 3:04:59 AM

LadySweetOrSour

Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline

Well stop that right now missy. Most people on here calls em as they see's em. They don't always mean to be hurtful, but sometimes it just comes out that way.

YOU are a beautiful woman. That's all you need to know. Fuck anyone that says or thinks differently. What do you care? You've gone through shit that most people couldn't get through and you've come out the other side. Now ffs hike up those non existant balls (and yes, even we girls have em!!) and look in the mirror. Who do you see? Someone who can't handle life, or someone who said fuck life, this isn't who and what I am, this isn't good enough and I'm changing it?

If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to believe in you? Suicide is never the answer, taking control and saying fuck ya, I WILL BE ME whether you like it or not is taking control. If you don't have counselling from the folk who did your op, then get some. Join an online support group. Talk to people in here who have been in your shoes. But understand, this is who you are and as long as you know that, you're going to make it. I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling, but I do deal with people who are in trouble emotionally every day. I am not comparing you to them, but I KNOW there is help out there for anyone who is in trouble. Look online, look in the phone book, demand that your doc help you, but don't give up PLEASE. xx

(in reply to DreamGoddess666)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 3:05:55 AM

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

I think you misunderstood pahunkboy's posting, most of what you appear to have taken as serious was instead ironic & / or sarcastic, tho' it can be hard to tell without tone of voice & body language . . . . . .

Ummm, pahunkboy is gay, himself, which is not obvious from the little bit of info that shows on these postings, but that's what he has listed on his profile . . . . . . & he usually tries to be humorous in his postings . . . . . I also thought his posting was done in that kinda bitter, been-there-done-that tone about being discriminated against . . . . . .

& while you might not want to hear that some people find the whole trans thing confusing, it's his reality that he was sharing, just as you've been sharing your reality with us . . . . I would hope that you would offer the compassion you seek, since for me the compassion I get from the exterior universe frequently mirrors the compassion I'm nurturing in my heart . . .. .

One giant rule of thumb I rely on is that I cannot change the world outside myself, all I can ever change is myself. I must be the change I want to see in the world. I must be the love & peace & joy & etc that I seek. I can never find that which I am not. Works for me, but it's neither easy nor instantaneous, but for me the alternatives are worse . . ....

I am gay. ....now her next post is more to the point.

(in reply to DemonKia)

RE: Lesbians: Why do you hate transsexuals so much? - 5/22/2009 3:13:49 AM

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DreamGoddess666

I do need someone to talk to. I lost the rest of my friends today. The first "couldn't deal with me anymore", the second got upset when I got so angry about being excluded from the homosexual community and my declaration that I wouldn't stand up for LGB causes anymore, and the third rejected me for other reasons and really hurt my feelings so I told her off. I have nothing and nobody left. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so hopeless. I don't know why I'm bearing all on this message board. At first it was just because it's the only place that would allow me to vent about my frustrations with how I'm being treated. Now I've just got to the point where I just feel like complete crap, especially after what that last guy said.

I want help. I need help. I just, I wish I had someone to comfort me, someone to care about me. I suffer from depression and then some. This has been a horrible day.

I am sorry.    Now the original post makes sense.      Your expressiveness will help.   There are some good people on this board.

Fair weather freinds....   are no big loss.   Now I feel like a jerk.    I havent gone to sleep yet. So I am over tired.   I am also kicking depression pills- but my psych went off on me as I did not have his "permission" to cut the dose.

....if you look back at my posts-   -- my best friend passed away this month. so that is still a shock.

Hey your cat looks like mine,.

(in reply to DreamGoddess666)

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