RE: ok...newbie questions I guess.

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RE: ok...newbie questions I guess. - 6/13/2009 4:08:37 AM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
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Dragon, our angel and I live pretty much a 24 hour BDSM lifestyle, though most of our bondage, sex and such is only done in our bedroom. It is the dynamic that we have going on. Though, I must say, we dont use valger names or words with each other... and no, I dont think that Bitch and Ass are swear words.. they are used often.. hehehehehehe.

I believe that BDSM and D/S and M/s are as unque as fingerprints. We all approach it diferently. We all take what we want and what works for us and leave the rest behind. And that is what makes this lifestyle wonderful. We dont have to fit into a cookie cutter version of life.

Phe

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RE: ok...newbie questions I guess. - 6/13/2009 9:57:07 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newyorknewbie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

I'm not certain how you could have gleaned such a thing from the messages on these boards. The relationships spoken of here run the entire gamut: from sensual dominance and submission between romantics to harder Keeper and slave relationships. While admitting gradations in between those two poles do hold plenty of players, I ask if it's possible you are projecting the crude stereotypes found in popular culture on to the regular responders here? Most people articulate diversity of relationship styles quite well here, and their writings in aggregate more than adequately dispel most, if not all, of the assumptions regarding "the lifestyle". If you have been lead to believe it's all just about instant badges, quick sex and "dirty talk" in latex, I'd invite you to spend some more time on these boards to learn otherwise.

No matter where your interests take you, I will warn it is vital you are honest about your motives with those you encounter. Most wasted time in "the lifestyle" starts at that critical juncture.

You must be joking. She is absolutely correct in her observations about this site. It is even evident in the email contact that I have had with members. They insult me and tell me to call them sir or master.

NYN, you have been on this site all of 2 weeks and are stereotyping the bad responses you've gotten into a generalization for all of the CM members. We all get the idiot emails...the subs get the on your knees drek and the Dom/mes get the do me's. It's annoying but that's life and this silliness does not stand in for what 'everyone' does in any way - as MarcEsadrian has pointed out much more eloquently than I have done here.

In the interest of answering the OP's questions I'd like to say that I also had a hard time figuring out what I wanted and have been able to do so only by jumping in, talking to people, asking questions, research, etc. The two things i can say have been said...everyone does it differently and communication is the key so don't be afraid to ask. I learned a lot by asking the people I was interested in for their own definitions of terms and what they were looking for.

I don't think this is the wrong site for you at all Immant, there are such a variety of people here doing such a variety of things that I think you'll find your niche. You've already come a fair way by figuring out certain things you do and don't want. Communicate those needs and find a like minded individual to share them with. If it doesn't work out move on...there is someone out there for you.

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RE: ok...newbie questions I guess. - 6/13/2009 12:18:49 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14443
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: newyorknewbie

quote:

I'm not certain how you could have gleaned such a thing from the messages on these boards.
You must be joking. She is absolutely correct in her observations about this site. It is even evident in the email contact that I have had with members. They insult me and tell me to call them sir or master.

You need to pay more attention. Read the bolded portion above. The message boards are not the same as the personal ads on the other side.

The emails you receive are not indicative of the long term relationships in the community, especially considering there's a whole wide world outside of CM personals.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 6/13/2009 12:19:21 PM >

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RE: ok...newbie questions I guess. - 6/13/2009 12:46:34 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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No question is stupid if you don't know the answer. you can make this lifestyle anything you want to make it. What works for my Dom & i is totally different than what works for S/someone E/else. i normally don't call Him "Sir" or "Master," but i call Him Sir at public kink functions and on collarme because He values His privacy and so do i. W/we call E/each O/other by first names and pet names...that's how W/we both like it. W/we include love, sex, and kink in O/our relationship, but that doesn't mean everyone has to. It's whatever works for you. Some of the beauty of bdsm is the flexibility it offers, to include all W/who want to be here.

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