~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (Full Version)

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SteelofUtah -> ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/14/2009 11:09:43 PM)

So, it is obvious to everyone who sees us that there is more going on in this relationship then just two girls who are friends.

What to you other Poly Couples do when your Anonymity is shot to shit and it is obvious to the neighbors that you are a "Trouple" and that there is something different about your relationship?

Apparently one of the neighbors came right up to andi and asked her what was up with caryn cause they "sure aren't sisters."

How do you handle those situations.

Steel

**Who lives in the Mormon Mecca of St George UTAH**




LadyPact -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/14/2009 11:30:30 PM)

This isn't exactly the same, but I think it applies.

There was a period of time while MP was in Korea that clip lived with Me for over a month.  We were seen coming and going from the house, clip would work in the yard, he'd see Me off for work.  You know.  The regular day to day stuff that everyone does.

After MP came home from Korea, one of our neighbors approaches him.  This kind neighbor wanted to let him know what had been going on in his absence.  That another male had been at the house for an extended period of time.

MP just looked at the neighbor, said "I know" and then proceeded to smile and walk away.




Vendaval -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/14/2009 11:31:39 PM)

I usually smile and giggle. [:D]




Brain -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/14/2009 11:46:04 PM)

It's really not their concern. Just say I rather not talk about it.




SteelofUtah -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/14/2009 11:51:12 PM)

Brain you have never been to Utah have you?

So far there have been no real issues the neighbor who asked asked in a Positive way but we have become aware that we aren't fooling anyone (Not that we were ever trying)

It does lead to the possibility of less positive questions and in a Mormon run and Morally Obligated City what are good ways to pacify a natural curiosity if you know it is comeing from a Negative place?

Steel




LadyPact -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/14/2009 11:59:56 PM)

Dude, yeah, you're in UT.  We were in freakin' GEORGIA!


LOL.




FelineFae -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 2:12:48 AM)

*hugs*
It can be so hard, sometimes you just want to yell the truth from the rooftops...
but then you know how much trouble that would bring your doorsteps.





DesFIP -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 2:38:39 AM)

This isn't anyone who you owe any explanation.

Stare at them as though they're nuts. Then just ask if they don't have any friends. And then walk away.




LillyoftheVally -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 5:19:23 AM)

FR

I am lucky, with mine we would openly walk around holding hands/kissing whatever and though we got a few agog looks that was about it. To be honest if it has been noticed and you do not want it to then it does mean being a little more discrete, however it depends how real the 'danger' is




NormalOutside -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 6:19:23 AM)

I have almost zero interest in what strangers think and how they might judge me. I don't live in a part of the world where there's a lot of that going around. I also simply just don't care, because it's right for me, and right for the girls. It's not taboo to us.




DarkSteven -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 7:07:15 AM)

Y'know, Steel, if ya didn't have beer cans piled three deep on the front lawn, they'd just assume you were RLDS.




BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 7:18:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This isn't exactly the same, but I think it applies.

There was a period of time while MP was in Korea that clip lived with Me for over a month.  We were seen coming and going from the house, clip would work in the yard, he'd see Me off for work.  You know.  The regular day to day stuff that everyone does.

After MP came home from Korea, one of our neighbors approaches him.  This kind neighbor wanted to let him know what had been going on in his absence.  That another male had been at the house for an extended period of time.

MP just looked at the neighbor, said "I know" and then proceeded to smile and walk away.



Good morning LP, Don't you just love thoses neighbors that watch out for each other lol...We live in the bible belt and its how the old biddes around here get their rocks off is by watching the cuming and going on at the Circle C, there is always  one who will walk right up and ask you to you face what going on..You seem to have an awful lots of vistors over there..Is it that they are seeking an invite to the next cook out may be smile.I tend to ingore them and if they are old I will smile and pat them on the back and send them on their way..bounty 




DavanKael -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 9:53:43 AM)

If you want to be shocking, tell them you're practicing "The Principle" (Fundamentalist mormon practice of polygamy). 
Something like "We're all family" would be an answer I would give.  It's interesting that your neighbors have been so bold as to ask, I've found that most people aren't. 
  Davan




AnimusRex -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 9:58:15 AM)

For poly families, being "outed" can be serious trouble, and not just from nosy old ladies. It is very easy for three consenting adults in say, West Hollywood to proudly say they don't care about public opinion- but in many jurisdictions, if there are children in the home, you can end up losing custody to the state. Unfortunately, Utah happens to be a state uniquely sensitive to polygamy, so you have a dangerous situation on your hands.

However, there is no law against having a friend of the family, a sister in law living in the home- extended families are the norm in many cultures. The only thing that needs to be hidden from the law is the sexual component.

Actually, kim and I know a family like this- the sister in law lives with the couple and their children, and helps raise them. She travels with them, and at business parties, he shows up with both the wife and her sister. They have lived this way for some 20 years, and no one whispers or gossips about them. Fact is, we don't really know if they are poly or just appear that way. On the other hand, there is never any overt displays of affection to the sister in law, so for all we know, maybe they really are just sisters. Maybe. But the point is, they could be, and are not harrassed or given any trouble by either the neighbors or the law.

The only way I know of to handle it is to be as discrete as they are; I would advise keeping the sexual arrangement a secret, on a "need to know" basis, to the extent of separate bedrooms for the sisters and hiding it from the children. Even if people have their suspicions, no one can know what happens in your bedrooms at night and without the testimony of the children, the case would be impossible to prove.

I wish you the best of luck.




MasterMgm -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 10:40:52 AM)

I live in a small town who population is around 300 or 350 people. Jill was attending a local university here so everyone thought Marie and I was just helping out a college student.

Than it happen. There was and still is, a elderly lady who is the town's busybody who sees and know everything. She seen Marie and Jill give each other a small kiss and the race was on. Within the hour, everyone who was at home, when she called them,  knew that they were " lesbians" living in our small town.... OH THE HORROR!!!!! "Our property values were going to go down, there was going to be wild sex parties, the town will be run over with gay and lesbian people". You know the type.

Some of our close friends who lived near us, knew about our lifestyle, some of them was ok with it and of course some wasn't. People who we felt comfortable with, we told them the truth about been a poly family. Those who we felt was just been nosy, we just told them the old lady made a mistake, and we are just helping out a poor college student. If you feel comfortable with the neighbor, tell her the truth. If you don't feel comfortable with her, just smile and walk away. Sometimes it is best not to said nothing.




Andalusite -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 10:48:50 AM)

I'd suggest she just smile and say, "She's staying with us for a while" or something of that sort. Evading politely seems the best approach, considering your area/circumstances.




polybi108 -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 5:48:26 PM)

Practice Aikido.

The less you give them to engage the better.

I cant give you solid advice about it because I dont know the person you are dealing with or your needs.

If you have to stay in that town, make little of it. The advice of Aikido is always, RUN. Avoid confrontation. You never know who will win a fight no matter how well you are trained.

If they press you, I would ask them if they are willing to keep it to themselves. Say, " its a phase she's going thru, maybe it will pass. Give it time. One never knows."

All that. that kind of thing.

Dont make a stand. The oak tree is blown over in a big wind. The trees that bend make it thru the night.




polybi108 -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 5:54:19 PM)

poly people in my area SF BAY are always losing court cases for child custody.

you dont mention whether there are children. If not, there doesnt seem like much more than being shunned socially can be done to you.
If you have a small business that could be trouble. But as pointed out, the Latter day folks might give you MORE business.
I found it appalling in high school, to realize that the US made Utah change its laws on polygamy, to get into the union.

As long as the women dont have sex in public, no one will know what happens in private if you dont tell anyone what is happening.

They should never answer direct questions with more than

"It is not polite to ask anyone a question, the answer to which, if given in the affirmative, would place them in legal jeopardy".

That is the social form of "I TAKE THE FIFTH AMENDMENT".




Aylee -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 6:24:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

So, it is obvious to everyone who sees us that there is more going on in this relationship then just two girls who are friends.

What to you other Poly Couples do when your Anonymity is shot to shit and it is obvious to the neighbors that you are a "Trouple" and that there is something different about your relationship?

Apparently one of the neighbors came right up to andi and asked her what was up with caryn cause they "sure aren't sisters."

How do you handle those situations.

Steel

**Who lives in the Mormon Mecca of St George UTAH**


My best advice is to reply, "What do you mean?"

And make them spell out whatever worries or concerns they have about nefarious activities going on. 

After all. . . perhaps they just want to know if reporting them to the local missionaries would be productive for conversion!  [:)]  Or they may be concerned that you need some type of assistance. 





Kalista07 -> RE: ~~Yeah they're sisters My ASS!!!~~ (8/15/2009 7:10:08 PM)

Steel...... i have the solution for You:  move to Central Illinois..Go there today...We will be waiting for You..

Kali




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